WHAT WOULD THEY DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?
*** Ok this chapter should take the first one and piss on it, and by the way, IF YOUR GONNA BLAM, FLAME, TRASH, OR SAY ANYTHING ELSE BAD ABOUT THIS FAN-FIC, AT LEAST TELL ME WHAT THE FRICK IS WRONG WITH IT SO I CAN FIX IT OK... well on with the story! ***
Solidus: Hello and welcome to the second episode of "What Would They Do For A Klondike Bar", our previous host ran off and went on a mass killing spree after he read all of the freaking reviews he got. So long story short, I was literally dragged in here (I really was, I was trying to take a dump and next thing I know, splat I'm here) well anyway, BRING OUT OUR CONTESTANT!
(Sustained silence)
Solidus: Umm, I said, BRING OUT OUR CONTESTANT!
(The director comes out on stage and whispers in Solidus's ear)
Solidus: He did what? * whisper * With who? * whisper * HE DID!
(The director walks off leaving Solidus to stare at the camera)
Solidus: Umm... I have just been informed that our guest has just been arrested for stealing Barbie Dolls from the K-Mart... So were are going to move the film equipment to the county jail where he is being held, so LETS GET A MOVE ON!
(5 hours and 2 busloads of hired studio audience's later)
Solidus: Hi there, were here at the Orange County Jail taping the second episode of "What Would They Do For A Klondike Bar", due to the fact that Liquids plan to take over the world with Barbie Dolls has failed [don't even THINK about asking about this so-called "plan"], thus leading Liquid strait to jail, but were going to take these lemons and make lemonade!
Random Inmate With British Accent: But I'm allergic to lemonade!
Solidus: I wasn't serious you simpleton! It's a figure of speech!
Random Inmate With British Accent: OH ok, you see every time I drink lemonade I get a rash on my * gaugh * (Solidus is now attempting to break the inmates neck)
Solidus: Ok that's enough from you now.
Random Inmate With British Accent: But why, I just like to speak my mind!
Solidus: Yes that is fine, but we don't need to know about your bodily dysfunctions!
Random Inmate With British Accent: Well I thought I'd just let you know that * crack *
(Solidus precedes to break the inmates neck, turns out that random inmate was being transferred to death row the next day so it's no bigge)
Another Random Inmate: Ok, when you said "figure", did you mean figure as in a math problem? Or as in a * gunshot *
Solidus: OK NOW, glad that's over, well, bring out our inmate, err, contestant! Liquid Snake!
(Liquid waddles out of his cell and trips over his chain)
Liquid: SHIT, my ass, that's the second time today damit!
Solidus: just hurry up and get your blister-ridden ass off the ground and in this chair!
Liquid: What!? How'd you find out about my blisters!? It's my closest guarded secret!
Solidus: Well since we're identical genetic twins, it's oh so obvious that we'd have the same dysfunctions. That's the good thing about being test- tube babies.
Liquid: oooookkkk... umm... that's kinda weird, but I guess it's true. Oh.. AND CAN SOMEONE HELP ME OFF MY ASS!?!
Solidus: Can someone help this simpleton off his ass? GUARD, get your donut eating ass over here hand help this guy up!
Guard: y-yes sir...
(The guard helps Liquid up and over to his seat)
Liquid: It's about freaking time! Ok on with the freaking show!
Solidus: Yes yes... OK Liquid Snake, what would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
(The power goes out)
Solidus: OH FOR CHRISTS SAKE! WHAT NEXT... I just want to get this dam episode over... well what's your answer Liquid? Liquid!?! (Power comes back on, the chair where Liquid was sitting is empty, a note is stuck in the arm)
Solidus: What the frick, (Solidus reads the note)
***NOTE***
Dear Solidus,
Hated the show, you can go screw yourself, I'm going to make a run for it, oh yeah, tell Solid to screw himself too.
Fuck you with the rage of a thousand angry chipmunks, Liquid ^_^
***
Solidus: Well... I guess this episode is over, well time to go and wait for your freaking reviews, well... Until next time on "What Would They Do For A Klondikì¥ÁM
*** Ok this chapter should take the first one and piss on it, and by the way, IF YOUR GONNA BLAM, FLAME, TRASH, OR SAY ANYTHING ELSE BAD ABOUT THIS FAN-FIC, AT LEAST TELL ME WHAT THE FRICK IS WRONG WITH IT SO I CAN FIX IT OK... well on with the story! ***
Solidus: Hello and welcome to the second episode of "What Would They Do For A Klondike Bar", our previous host ran off and went on a mass killing spree after he read all of the freaking reviews he got. So long story short, I was literally dragged in here (I really was, I was trying to take a dump and next thing I know, splat I'm here) well anyway, BRING OUT OUR CONTESTANT!
(Sustained silence)
Solidus: Umm, I said, BRING OUT OUR CONTESTANT!
(The director comes out on stage and whispers in Solidus's ear)
Solidus: He did what? * whisper * With who? * whisper * HE DID!
(The director walks off leaving Solidus to stare at the camera)
Solidus: Umm... I have just been informed that our guest has just been arrested for stealing Barbie Dolls from the K-Mart... So were are going to move the film equipment to the county jail where he is being held, so LETS GET A MOVE ON!
(5 hours and 2 busloads of hired studio audience's later)
Solidus: Hi there, were here at the Orange County Jail taping the second episode of "What Would They Do For A Klondike Bar", due to the fact that Liquids plan to take over the world with Barbie Dolls has failed [don't even THINK about asking about this so-called "plan"], thus leading Liquid strait to jail, but were going to take these lemons and make lemonade!
Random Inmate With British Accent: But I'm allergic to lemonade!
Solidus: I wasn't serious you simpleton! It's a figure of speech!
Random Inmate With British Accent: OH ok, you see every time I drink lemonade I get a rash on my * gaugh * (Solidus is now attempting to break the inmates neck)
Solidus: Ok that's enough from you now.
Random Inmate With British Accent: But why, I just like to speak my mind!
Solidus: Yes that is fine, but we don't need to know about your bodily dysfunctions!
Random Inmate With British Accent: Well I thought I'd just let you know that * crack *
(Solidus precedes to break the inmates neck, turns out that random inmate was being transferred to death row the next day so it's no bigge)
Another Random Inmate: Ok, when you said "figure", did you mean figure as in a math problem? Or as in a * gunshot *
Solidus: OK NOW, glad that's over, well, bring out our inmate, err, contestant! Liquid Snake!
(Liquid waddles out of his cell and trips over his chain)
Liquid: SHIT, my ass, that's the second time today damit!
Solidus: just hurry up and get your blister-ridden ass off the ground and in this chair!
Liquid: What!? How'd you find out about my blisters!? It's my closest guarded secret!
Solidus: Well since we're identical genetic twins, it's oh so obvious that we'd have the same dysfunctions. That's the good thing about being test- tube babies.
Liquid: oooookkkk... umm... that's kinda weird, but I guess it's true. Oh.. AND CAN SOMEONE HELP ME OFF MY ASS!?!
Solidus: Can someone help this simpleton off his ass? GUARD, get your donut eating ass over here hand help this guy up!
Guard: y-yes sir...
(The guard helps Liquid up and over to his seat)
Liquid: It's about freaking time! Ok on with the freaking show!
Solidus: Yes yes... OK Liquid Snake, what would YOU do for a Klondike bar?
(The power goes out)
Solidus: OH FOR CHRISTS SAKE! WHAT NEXT... I just want to get this dam episode over... well what's your answer Liquid? Liquid!?! (Power comes back on, the chair where Liquid was sitting is empty, a note is stuck in the arm)
Solidus: What the frick, (Solidus reads the note)
***NOTE***
Dear Solidus,
Hated the show, you can go screw yourself, I'm going to make a run for it, oh yeah, tell Solid to screw himself too.
Fuck you with the rage of a thousand angry chipmunks, Liquid ^_^
***
Solidus: Well... I guess this episode is over, well time to go and wait for your freaking reviews, well... Until next time on "What Would They Do For A Klondikì¥ÁM