**Pechan owns NOTHING!! Hey, my first NON-SAITO fic that I will publish!!
Of course, this one sucks, but I'm not forcing you to read it. And I
haven't been on for a while, so I feel I had to post something, even if it
is a pile a cr@p.
~~The Plot~~
(Shishio has just been defeated by Kenshin, as is brooding in his big not so secret base, pissin' and moanin' about his big loss. And the other Juppongatana are there and alive just for kicks.)
Shishio: BLAST THAT KENSHIN!! Soon....soon I shall have my revenge!!! Who's with me?!!!
Aoshi: ............
Cho: Rootin' tootin'!!
Kamatari: As long as I can keep wearing panties, I'm fine!!
Other Juppungatana: Okie dokie!!
Sojiro: (smiling absently)
Shishio: Very well, then!! Now, let us go forth, and wreck havoc on all those miserable souls in Tokyo!!
Hoji: I believe we're in Kyoto, sir.
Shishio: Who the hell asked you?!!
Yumi: Ooooh, you know, Lord Shishio, all this talk about revenge is making me hot!!
Shishio: No time for love, slut!! For now, I must go... and KILLLLLLL HIIIMMM!!!
Everyone: HURRAH!! (charges out with Shishio)
~~thirty minutes later~~
Shishio: FOILED AGAIN!! No matter, I shall learn from my mistakes, and kill him when he least expects it!!!
Anji: Why? We're just gonna get our @$$ess handed to us again.
Hoji: You fool!! No one must speak against Lord Shishio!! Isn't that right, lord Shishi-
Shishio: Shut up, Hoji. I'm thinking............................................. OH!! Maybe.... if we get him from behind!!!
Yumi: Oh, that's such a sexy idea!!
Shishio: Hell yes!! And it'll work this time!! (pulls out sword) SALLY FORTH!!!
Everyone: WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!
~ten minutes, tops~
Kamatai: Damn. Who knew he had such good hearing?
Shishio: Well, NONE of this would've happened is SOMEONE hadn't shouted, "YA'LL GONNA GET A LICKIN' NOW, BATTOUSAI!!"
Chou: Well shoot, if I din't tell him, we'd get sued.
Shishio: (lifts head up) Sued?
Chou: Well, yeah. Don't ya know if you don't give the poor sap a fair warnin', ya'll gonna get thrown in the horse pistol?
Kamatari: Isn't a horse pistol a hospital?
Shishio: (jumps up) THAT'S IT!!!
Anji: Actually, a horse pistol can also be used as a word for jail, since when horses die in hospitals, a guy can die in jail, so he-
Shishio: (kicks him) No!!! We can FINALLY BEAT at the Battosai!! Financially!!
Yumi: (eyes sparkle) OH, lord Shishio!! That's amazingly brilliant!!
Shishio: Damn straight!!
Sojiro: Boy, I can't wait for puberty!!
Everyone: Here here.
~~And thus, the next morning, Shishio shows up in front of kenshin's house, in a body cast~
Sano: Well, you can't really call it a body cast. It looks exactly the same as what he was already wearing.
Shishio: SHUT UP!! I am suing you, Himura!!
Kenshin: For what, that I ask?
Shishio: For hurting me!!
Kenshin: ................... ummm.... Okay. Why all of a sudden, that I ask?
Shishio: Mwa ha haaaaa... prepare to weep, battosai!! I'm suing you for all the money you have!!!
Kenshin: Gasp!! No!! You don't mean....
Shishio: Yes!!! 567 yen!!! BWAA HAHHAAH AHAHAHA HAAAAA!!! Oh, and I'll be taking that sword too.
Kenshin: Egads, no!! It's mine, that it is!!
Kaoru: Yeah, ya big meanie!! You can't do that to my Ken!!
Shishio: (holds up lawsuit) Oh yeah?!! Read 'em and weep!!!
Kensuin: (reading) ............ burglary? Plagiarism?!! Rape?!!!
Shishio: Yeah, I'm suing you double for that!!
Megumi: This is nuts!! Sir Ken isn't guilty of any of this, and nothing you can do can prove it!!
Shishio: Oh yeah?!! Yumi, bring in my lawyer!!!
Saito: (struts in) 'Sup?
Kenshin: What?!!
Megmui: Hey, you're a police officer!! Not a lawyer!!!
Saito: Police, lawyer, what's the difference? And I'm here to prove that that idiot of a Battousai is guilty.
Sano: You just say that cuz you hate him!!
Saito: No, I have discriminating evidence. See? (holds up picture of Kenshin)
Everyone: (screams)
Yahiko: EEEEEEEW!! HE'S EXPOSING HIMSELF!!
Kenshin: THAT ISN'T MY BODY, THAT IT ISN'T!!!
Saito: Prove it.
KJenshin: I'm not that hairy,!! And I'm not African American, either!! You just pasted my face on some random chocolate gigalo, that you did!!
Sano: (still grimacing) How is that supposed to be evidence?!!
Saito: It isn't. I was just fooling around on the computer. By the why, the highest score on Solitare is labeled at 23442089 POINTS UNDER HAJIME SAITO!! BOOYA!! (pokes Shishio) Stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it!!
Shishio: (smoking opium in his lil' pipe) I am!!! (flicks it away) BWA HA HAAA!!!! SEE YA TOMMORROW, BATTOUSAI!! AND BRING THE MONEY TO BACK YOU UP FOR BAIL, HYAA HAH AHAHA HAAA!! (nods to Yumi) Hey, when you wheel me out, do it backwards!! That way, I can laugh at him as I go!!
Yumi: (sigh) You are SO cool, Lord Shishio!!
Shishio: Yeah yeah, whatever. (laughs at Kenshin as he is whisked away)
Kenshin: .......................... oro?
Saito: Well, I guess I'll be hittin' the ol' dusty trail. (pulls out white wig) By the way, I'm the judge too.
Everyone: WHAT?!!!
Sano: I thought you were the lawyer!!!!!
Saito: Yeah, me too. (after long awkward pause, he struts out) Well, see ya.
Kaoru: What are we gonna do, Kenshin?
Kenshin: (sweats) I don't know, that I do. I can only hope Pechan stops writing this fic. She never makes me look as cool as I am, that she doesn't!!
Pechan: Oh please, between sexy Saito and sex machine Hiko, THERE IS NO YOU!! They shoulda redid the series, cut you out, fill it with PLENTY of Sexy Saito and Hot Hiko, and called it 'HOT MEN OF THE MEIJI'.
Sano: Cool!! What would I do in the series?
Pechan: ................... I think you're missing the point to the title.
Yahiko: What about Aoshi? Isn't HE supposed to be cool?
Pechan: I dunno with Aoshi yet. He seems too depressed for sexy. Ah cr@p, here I go trailing off again. I'll pick this up where I left off depending on how bored I am, or by popular demand. (I'm probably gonna end up going at it after boredom. Oh, woe is me, the tragedies of a teenage girl that has a -2 GPA. Sigh, I say!! SIGH!!)
~~The Plot~~
(Shishio has just been defeated by Kenshin, as is brooding in his big not so secret base, pissin' and moanin' about his big loss. And the other Juppongatana are there and alive just for kicks.)
Shishio: BLAST THAT KENSHIN!! Soon....soon I shall have my revenge!!! Who's with me?!!!
Aoshi: ............
Cho: Rootin' tootin'!!
Kamatari: As long as I can keep wearing panties, I'm fine!!
Other Juppungatana: Okie dokie!!
Sojiro: (smiling absently)
Shishio: Very well, then!! Now, let us go forth, and wreck havoc on all those miserable souls in Tokyo!!
Hoji: I believe we're in Kyoto, sir.
Shishio: Who the hell asked you?!!
Yumi: Ooooh, you know, Lord Shishio, all this talk about revenge is making me hot!!
Shishio: No time for love, slut!! For now, I must go... and KILLLLLLL HIIIMMM!!!
Everyone: HURRAH!! (charges out with Shishio)
~~thirty minutes later~~
Shishio: FOILED AGAIN!! No matter, I shall learn from my mistakes, and kill him when he least expects it!!!
Anji: Why? We're just gonna get our @$$ess handed to us again.
Hoji: You fool!! No one must speak against Lord Shishio!! Isn't that right, lord Shishi-
Shishio: Shut up, Hoji. I'm thinking............................................. OH!! Maybe.... if we get him from behind!!!
Yumi: Oh, that's such a sexy idea!!
Shishio: Hell yes!! And it'll work this time!! (pulls out sword) SALLY FORTH!!!
Everyone: WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!
~ten minutes, tops~
Kamatai: Damn. Who knew he had such good hearing?
Shishio: Well, NONE of this would've happened is SOMEONE hadn't shouted, "YA'LL GONNA GET A LICKIN' NOW, BATTOUSAI!!"
Chou: Well shoot, if I din't tell him, we'd get sued.
Shishio: (lifts head up) Sued?
Chou: Well, yeah. Don't ya know if you don't give the poor sap a fair warnin', ya'll gonna get thrown in the horse pistol?
Kamatari: Isn't a horse pistol a hospital?
Shishio: (jumps up) THAT'S IT!!!
Anji: Actually, a horse pistol can also be used as a word for jail, since when horses die in hospitals, a guy can die in jail, so he-
Shishio: (kicks him) No!!! We can FINALLY BEAT at the Battosai!! Financially!!
Yumi: (eyes sparkle) OH, lord Shishio!! That's amazingly brilliant!!
Shishio: Damn straight!!
Sojiro: Boy, I can't wait for puberty!!
Everyone: Here here.
~~And thus, the next morning, Shishio shows up in front of kenshin's house, in a body cast~
Sano: Well, you can't really call it a body cast. It looks exactly the same as what he was already wearing.
Shishio: SHUT UP!! I am suing you, Himura!!
Kenshin: For what, that I ask?
Shishio: For hurting me!!
Kenshin: ................... ummm.... Okay. Why all of a sudden, that I ask?
Shishio: Mwa ha haaaaa... prepare to weep, battosai!! I'm suing you for all the money you have!!!
Kenshin: Gasp!! No!! You don't mean....
Shishio: Yes!!! 567 yen!!! BWAA HAHHAAH AHAHAHA HAAAAA!!! Oh, and I'll be taking that sword too.
Kenshin: Egads, no!! It's mine, that it is!!
Kaoru: Yeah, ya big meanie!! You can't do that to my Ken!!
Shishio: (holds up lawsuit) Oh yeah?!! Read 'em and weep!!!
Kensuin: (reading) ............ burglary? Plagiarism?!! Rape?!!!
Shishio: Yeah, I'm suing you double for that!!
Megumi: This is nuts!! Sir Ken isn't guilty of any of this, and nothing you can do can prove it!!
Shishio: Oh yeah?!! Yumi, bring in my lawyer!!!
Saito: (struts in) 'Sup?
Kenshin: What?!!
Megmui: Hey, you're a police officer!! Not a lawyer!!!
Saito: Police, lawyer, what's the difference? And I'm here to prove that that idiot of a Battousai is guilty.
Sano: You just say that cuz you hate him!!
Saito: No, I have discriminating evidence. See? (holds up picture of Kenshin)
Everyone: (screams)
Yahiko: EEEEEEEW!! HE'S EXPOSING HIMSELF!!
Kenshin: THAT ISN'T MY BODY, THAT IT ISN'T!!!
Saito: Prove it.
KJenshin: I'm not that hairy,!! And I'm not African American, either!! You just pasted my face on some random chocolate gigalo, that you did!!
Sano: (still grimacing) How is that supposed to be evidence?!!
Saito: It isn't. I was just fooling around on the computer. By the why, the highest score on Solitare is labeled at 23442089 POINTS UNDER HAJIME SAITO!! BOOYA!! (pokes Shishio) Stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it!!
Shishio: (smoking opium in his lil' pipe) I am!!! (flicks it away) BWA HA HAAA!!!! SEE YA TOMMORROW, BATTOUSAI!! AND BRING THE MONEY TO BACK YOU UP FOR BAIL, HYAA HAH AHAHA HAAA!! (nods to Yumi) Hey, when you wheel me out, do it backwards!! That way, I can laugh at him as I go!!
Yumi: (sigh) You are SO cool, Lord Shishio!!
Shishio: Yeah yeah, whatever. (laughs at Kenshin as he is whisked away)
Kenshin: .......................... oro?
Saito: Well, I guess I'll be hittin' the ol' dusty trail. (pulls out white wig) By the way, I'm the judge too.
Everyone: WHAT?!!!
Sano: I thought you were the lawyer!!!!!
Saito: Yeah, me too. (after long awkward pause, he struts out) Well, see ya.
Kaoru: What are we gonna do, Kenshin?
Kenshin: (sweats) I don't know, that I do. I can only hope Pechan stops writing this fic. She never makes me look as cool as I am, that she doesn't!!
Pechan: Oh please, between sexy Saito and sex machine Hiko, THERE IS NO YOU!! They shoulda redid the series, cut you out, fill it with PLENTY of Sexy Saito and Hot Hiko, and called it 'HOT MEN OF THE MEIJI'.
Sano: Cool!! What would I do in the series?
Pechan: ................... I think you're missing the point to the title.
Yahiko: What about Aoshi? Isn't HE supposed to be cool?
Pechan: I dunno with Aoshi yet. He seems too depressed for sexy. Ah cr@p, here I go trailing off again. I'll pick this up where I left off depending on how bored I am, or by popular demand. (I'm probably gonna end up going at it after boredom. Oh, woe is me, the tragedies of a teenage girl that has a -2 GPA. Sigh, I say!! SIGH!!)