"Alright, I've let this go on for long enough, I thought that if I could keep a cool head that everything would work out, I was wrong, so now it is time I come forward and be honest with you...I was the one who ate your sandwich."
"I FUCKING KNEW IT!"
The sounds of glass, wood, and other assorted materials being smashed and broken immediately followed, being loud enough to hear through the walls. And while most might be concerned about it, for the staff of the Immediate Murder Professionals or I.M.P. for short, all it meant was that it was Tuesday. The two individuals currently engaged in an almost cartoon esque squabble were the company's president Blitzo sandwich eater, and Moxxie the man with no sandwich. The two of them had a very antagonistic relationship despite working together, as whether it was intentional or not Blitzo absolutely LOVED to make Moxxie's life Hell, no pun intended.
As for the rest of the staff, who were just minding their own business as those two trashed another room, they were in the waiting area/lobby of the building. Sadly due to the severe lack of clients as of late, the total number of employees came to a whopping four people. Which meant that the only other two members of I.M.P. were Millie, who was Moxxie's wife, and Loona, who was a Hellhound that Blitzo had adopted at some point. So while Millie's husband and Loona's adoptive father were busy having their usual Tuesday quarrel over the consumption of Moxxie's lunch, they were passing the time with idle chat.
"You think he'd be used to it by now." Loona commented as she lazily scrolled through a website on her phone.
"He keeps trying to hide'em from Blitzo, but no matter how hard he tries he always somehow manages to find'em." Millie explained.
"That's because he sneaks over to your house in the morning to see how he's gonna hide them." Loona revealed.
"Oh, well that would explain it." Millie replied.
Hearing the sound of a chair being smashed against the wall, the women would have missed the knock at their door had it not been for Loona's ears.
"I think someone's at the door." She said catching the other by surprise. "You sure? Could've just been the chair." Millie reasoned.
"Yup, pretty sure." She replied.
Remaining in their seats for the next few seconds as the brawling continued, Loona slowly looked up from her phone at the demon.
"What?" She asked as she was giving her a quizzical look. "Aren't you gonna get it?" Millie questioned.
"Why would I get the door?" Loona asked.
"Because you're the receptionist." Millie answered.
Feeling her ear twitch as this time she was sure she heard someone knocking, Loona let out a long groan as though she were in pain before getting to her feet, and as slowly as she possibly could she walked over to the door.
"What do you want?" She asked while pulling it open, doing her best to sound as uninterested as possible.
However, once she and Millie both laid eyes on who had been knocking on the door, the most shocking thing to ever happen in I.M.P.'s history happened. Loona...dropped...her phone...
"Hello." Lilith greeted with a smile, noticing the stunned expressions they had on their faces. "Y-Y-You are..." Loona stammered unable to process what was happening.
"Pressed for time I'm afraid." Lilith responded completing her sentence for her, "I came here because I saw your advertisement, and would like to hire your services to deal with an issue I'm having." She stated.
Lilith, the literal queen of all fucking Hell, just told them both that she was there for THEIR services. Upon hearing this both women with speed neither of them knew they had ran to get Moxxie and Blitzo. Throwing the door open with so much force it nearly broke the door into countless pieces, both imps who were about to stab each other with forks came to a pause.
"Millie? What's going on?" Moxxie asked noticing how panicked his wife seemed. "LILITH. IS. HERE." She said causing both their eyes to widen.
"Th-The Lilith!?" Both men questioned which caused the two females to rapidly nod.
Looking to each other for a brief moment, then down at themselves to make sure they were presentable, both men immediately got to their feet and rushed out of the room. And true to the women's word, Lilith who during that whole thing had decided to have a seat, was casually looking through a magazine waiting to be attended to.
"Miss Lilith!" Blitzo shouted as loud as he could in order to gain her attention, "My name is Blitzo! The "o" is silent, and I am the founder of Immediate Murder Professionals! Or I.M.P. for short, what do we owe the honor and pleasure of having you today?" He introduced, mentally cheering that he didn't fuck up his rehearsed greeting.
"Well, considering you deal in murder..." She trailed off hoping he would get the message.
"Say no more! You tell us what prick decided to fuck with the queen of Hell and we'll have their ass presented to you on a silver platter!" He exclaimed before then leaning over to Moxxie, "Psst, make sure to buy a silver platter..." He whispered.
"Glad to hear it, is there somewhere private where you and I might discuss the details? Not that I don't trust your staff I'd just rather this be...as quiet as possible." She requested.
"Of course not! Right this way!" He replied as he gestured to the room that served as his office.
Walking to the room with him right behind, once the duo were alone inside the others instantly mashed their ears against its surface to listen in.
"So!" He exclaimed as he excitedly jumped into his seat and spun around one time, "Who exactly is it that has gotten under your skin? Sleezy politician? Competing entertainer? Some loose snatched slut trying to steal your husband?" He asked her in a rapid fire fashion.
"Trust me, if it were any of those I'd handle it myself, unfortunately the nature of this particular individual is delicate, hence why I need you to handle this with the upmost discretion." She told him.
"That's fine! We can kill'em loud or quiet as a mouse! Whatever way the client wants it we deliver!" He assured.
"Excellent, I'm so happy I found such capable murderers." She complimented as an evil grin appeared on her face "Now, the person who I need you to kill is-"
"Lord Lucifer!" A soldier shouted out, gaining his and everyone else's attention.
Mortal depictions of the war between Heaven and Hell are often if not always downplayed. There may be some paintings and pictures that might show some blood, or perhaps a demon or even an angel being mortally wounded. But the reality is that war, even between two ancient forces such as good and evil, is no different than how it is for those of mortal life. On both sides countless are thrown to the front lines in the hopes of gaining some ground, for despite Heaven being blessed with weapons and powers that can strike down the corrupted, the countless circles of Hell that house the souls of the damned possessed their own advantage.
In the pursuit of their combined hope of overthrowing Heaven and bringing down God itself, the Devils who governed each circle agreed that quantity was better than quality. Using their combined powers they created a new circle, though this one was not meant for the housing of souls. Instead this realm was a concentration of every evil, every sin, every dark thing the Devils could conjure, and by imbuing it with their powers creatures were able to be made from this vile place. Ravenous and mindless horrors came from the darkness of its confines, such entities that made even some of Hell's fiercest warriors wary.
Yet even as the war began to slowly tip in their favor Heaven did not falter, there was no panic among its ranks and its commanders were just as calm as they always were. For in light of this realm's creation God had given its servants permission to seek the aid of mortal beings, and given that Heaven's angels were just as diverse as Hell's population, this meant their reinforcements would be plentiful. But one particular race of mortal stood out among them all, chosen by a faction of angels regarded as the Maykrs, these mortals were unlike anything both Heaven or Hell had seen. They fought purposefully and without mercy, strong and durable even more so than some demons, and with Maykr aid their weapons and inventions were some of the most advanced in the war.
The Sentinels they were called, and with their holy armaments in hand they cut through both demon and beast, chanting and cheering with each successful victory. To make matters worse their technology as said was the most advanced by far, and so even when it was recovered from battles by the unholy armies it was near impossible to re-purpose for themselves, making it useless in corrupted hands. Still they needed something to help them shift the war back in their favor, something beyond the mindless monsters they had created, so it fell to the Devil Lucifer and his army to try and make something useful of this technology. Thankfully, as if the forces that be sought to be kind to them this day, during a battle with a large battalion of Sentinel warriors one of their mobile fortresses fell, leaving it for them to examine once they began their retreat.
Though none of them, not even the great fallen angel himself, were prepared for what they found
within its confines. Nothing about the structure made any sense to them at all, they tried their best to decipher the language but ultimately failed, and any bit of technology installed into the structure itself had been deliberately destroyed. Yet just before Lucifer, in his frustration and exhaustion could give the order to leave, one of his men apparently found something.
"What is it?" He asked in return as he turned towards the soldier.
"We found something deep within the fortress, but we're not sure what to make of it." He answered. "Does it look like a weapon? Or anything that is salvageable?" Lucifer asked.
"We're not certain sir, but whatever it is it still seems to function, we think we can get it to work, with your permission of course." He explained.
Even though the likelihood of the Sentinels leaving something intact was very unlikely, if there was even the smallest chance some worth could be found in what his men had discovered, he was going to take it.
"Fine, take me to this...thing, and allow me to see it for myself." He ordered gaining a salute from the soldier.
Following him with the rest of his men in tow, they were all led deep into the structure before coming to a stop as they reached a fairly massive space. The space itself was rather odd in comparison to the rest of the fortress, it was mostly made from the stone of the structure itself rather than being made of metal, and there were various platforms and bridges strewn through it.
"Is this what you found? Because all I'm seeing is what appears to be an arena of some kind..." Lucifer noted as he continued to look about the room.
"No sir, we too were caught off guard by this room's layout, and we were about to leave until we found this in one of the walls." The soldier explained as he pointed towards one side of the room.
Looking in that direction Lucifer and the other soldiers found embedded in the stone a device of some kind, which seemed to have a screen you could interact with.
"Have you attempted to use it?" Lucifer questioned.
"No sir, we wanted you to see it first, so you could decide the best course of action." The Soldier replied.
Debating on whether or not it was best to try and learn its purpose now, or risk removing it and potentially damaging it beyond repair, Lucifer though hesitant gave his permission to try and understand its use. With their leader's approval the soldiers who were standing closest to the screen began tampering with it, doing their best to try and understand the foreign language being displayed, all the while hoping they would not accidentally destroy it. And despite all odds being stacked against them his men did seem to get it working, at first it came to life with a low hum, followed by a glowing blue light, then finally showing once and for all what its purpose was. And for the first time in this entire war, having seen both Hellspawn and Heavenborn died in many awful ways, Lucifer and his men were shaken by what they saw.
Suddenly the space around them was filled with demons, some from their own army, the rest from the other armies, but they all had one thing in common. They looked as though they had been through torture, their eyes were dead and cold, their bodies though seeming to be in perfect condition slouched and bent as if they were tired and ill, in short they appeared as if they were ghosts. Yet the moment one looked up at Lucifer and his men its eyes lit up with life, and without
warning it rushed towards one of them and grabbed on as tightly as it could.
"PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO HELP US! WE'RE TRAPPED IN HERE! WE CAN'T FUCKING
LEAVE!" They shouted out as the Soldier they were clutching simply stood there in shock.
"W-What do you mean?..." Lucifer asked as none of his soldiers were currently able to speak for themselves.
"Th-This place...the Sentinels...they...they capture the souls of those they kill...and keep them in that accursed machine!" They responded while pointing to the device within the wall, "They used us for practice, tortured us for information, all the while those fucking angel bastards watched!...So please!...Please...free us..." They begged before collapsing to the ground in a sob.
Watching as this poor battered soul cried uncontrollably, while the rest around them merely shuffled about like zombies, there was only one course of action that Lucifer could see.
"Well? What're you waiting for?" He asked as he turned back to the soldiers near the device "You heard them! Destroy that fucking machine!" He demanded.
Hearing the commanding tone of their leader speak to them snapped the men out of their shock, and with a nod to show they understood they raised their weapons in unison, before bringing them down onto the contraption. Watching as with but a small explosion it died in an instant, soon each of the souls in the room began fading away, some managing to adorn looks of relief and surprise before they were gone.
"Thank you..." The demon spoke one final time, as with a smile and closed eyes they too slowly faded into nothing.
For the next few minutes everyone was still, none of them knew how to feel nor what to make of what they had just learned. However they were still in a war zone, and the chances of the Sentinels returning with reinforcements was high, so they could not stay for long. And so with this horrifying discovery burned into their minds forever, Lucifer and his men all left that fortress empty handed, agreeing to a vow of silence as to not spread panic. After this the war would continue on for a great deal more time, before eventually the combined forces of both Heaven and its mortals brought Hell to a surrender.
But where as everyone believed this would be the end of it, that this dark and bloodstained stretch of time within history would stay in the past was sadly not to be, for the realm that the Devils created to spawn beasts and creatures had become its own Hell. Many of the unspeakable abominations managed to become intelligent, to the point where they began organizing the realm and its legions for their own purposes. Yet these soon recognized lords of the realm were not like the rest of the Devils across the circles, they were entirely self involved and were willing to do whatever it took to gain power, even if it meant causing more suffering and bloodshed in spite of the treaty.
For this reason and many others this realm would be given a name, one that struck fear into the hearts of all life whether they be born of the circles, the Heavens, or of the mortal plane, Doom.
"Dad? Are you okay?" Charlie asked, as her father had been standing there silent for about a minute.
Upon hearing Vega's response Lucifer's mind was consumed by a memory he long since buried, as the many days that followed after that horrid moment plagued every waking second he had. Not
only that but his complexion had also changed, making it seem as though he had just witnessed the most horrifying thing in his life. His daughter unfortunately was already familiar with such a reaction, as he looked much like this when she saw him in his throne room, thus causing her to grow concerned. Thankfully he would be brought out of his stunned state, as the Slayer without any warning summoned an object and used it to bring him back to attention.
It was just unfortunate that this object was a gun, a shotgun to be precise, and with but a quick use of its pump he readied a shell and fired it off into the ceiling.
"HOLY FUCK!" Vagatha shouted out as the sudden loud boom from in front of them caused her, Charlie, and Lucifer to all fall backwards to the floor.
"Perhaps that was a bit too effective of a solution." Vega told him as he sent the gun away, "However it was successful in bringing Lucifer back to his senses." He noted earning a nod in response.
"U-Um, mister Slayer?" Charlie asked nervously causing him to slowly turn his head towards her, "C-Could you maybe refrain from doing that...EVER again?..." She asked as she pointed to the ceiling.
Slowly looking upwards he found the very sizable hole the buckshot had created, and while he knew that's what the result of his action would be, it still didn't bother him.
"The Slayer, though not sorry for what he did, will try to lessen his destruction of the hotel in the future." Vega informed her as he slowly looked back to her.
"O-Okay, thanks..." She replied still a bit shaken from how loud it had been.
"Least it brought your dad back to reality..." Vagatha commented as she looked over to him.
True to her word it seemed as though Lucifer was back to normal, though for some reason he was staring intently at the Slayer.
"Dad? Are you okay?" Charlie repeated her question, admittedly more concerned after what the Slayer had done.
"Yes, I'm fine." He responded as he got to his feet, "And as for you, I do not want you doing that EVER again!" He ordered giving the Slayer a very stern glare.
"As said the Slayer is not-" Vega tried to say only to be interrupted.
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!" Lucifer shouted angrily, catching everyone but the Slayer by surprise, "I am referring to your conversation from before, you will NOT under ANY conditions speak to my daughter regarding your fortress, is that understood?" He asked.
Unsure as to how the Slayer would respond, both Charlie and Vagatha felt their hearts drop as he slowly got up from his seat. Even Lucifer, who felt braver and more confident in addressing him than he had so far felt his knees begin to weaken, as the Slayer slowly walked over to him and looked down into his eyes.
"I advise you to choose your next words, VERY carefully." Vega warned, as somehow the Slayer managed to pop his knuckles simply by tightening his fists.
"During the war between Heaven and the circles a Sentinel fortress fell and was searched by me along with a handful of my soldiers." He explained as he shut his eyes tightly, "For the most part it
was useless, the Sentinels were smart and destroyed anything that might've been valuable, except for one particular device found within an arena..." He revealed as he then looked back to the Slayer, "Now I know you are smart, you'd have to be more than just powerful to destroy all of Doom, so I know you are aware of what device I am referring to, and if you have a device just like that within your fortress, I am asking you as a concerned parent to please not mention anything about it to my daughter or her girlfriend, they don't need to know about it." He said.
Though curious as to what he was talking about both women and even Vega remained silent, for the only one who had the right to respond was the Slayer. But before he could give the devil any kind of response or indication he understood, one of the two front doors was slowly pushed open.
"I'm sorry, did I interrupt something?" Lilith spoke causing all eyes to turn to her.
"Mom!" Charlie exclaimed happily as she rushed over and gave her a hug, "You have the BEST timing in all of Hell!" She complimented as she squeezed her tightly.
"And just like that your ass got saved again." Vagatha said to Lucifer, as she walked over to try and pry her girlfriend off of her mother.
Admittedly happy to see his wife Lucifer was about to speak to her, only to be stopped as the Slayer put a hand on his shoulder.
"The Slayer would like to inform you that he understands your concern, and so I will refrain from mentioning any information that may upset or disturb both your daughter and her girlfriend." Vega explained.
A bit surprised by this Lucifer did feel a wave of relief wash over him, only to have that feeling be immediately replaced with fear as the Slayer tightened his grip.
"However, given you have just admitted to having been in contact with Sentinel technology, he would also like to inform you that if there are any secrets you have, it would be in the interest of your health that you tell him now." Vega stated.
"I will be more than happy to share with you everything I know personally regarding the Sentinels, but as for secrets I'm quite elated to tell you I have none that would be of interest." He assured.
Staying there for a few seconds more as the Slayer made sure he was telling the truth, he then released him so that he could go join his wife and daughter. Watching as Lucifer walked over while checking to make sure his shoulder was alright, the Slayer would then make a silent request of Vega.
"Understood, I will check all of the information we have regarding the war between Heaven and Hell, would you also like me to contact the Seraphim and see if there is anything he may provide?" Vega asked earning a nod in response.
"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WE'RE SET FOR LIFE!" Blitzo shouted with glee as he popped open a bottle of champagne.
After Lilith had given him the details of the job, as well as gave him part of the payment for it upfront, she took her leave of the building to be with her family. And once he and the others were certain she was out of hearing range they all cheered in unison, rejoicing in the GENEROUS amount of cash they would be getting for this job.
"I can't believe this is actually happening! We're ACTUALLY going to make a profit for once,
instead of having to pay for damages and bribes!" Moxxie exclaimed as Blitzo messily poured the beverage into all of their glasses.
"It's still so shocking to me, like I know she's a bitch and all, but to piss off the queen of Hell SO badly she wants her dead, man she must be an even bigger cunt in person." Loona reasoned talking about their target.
"Oh this is going to be so exciting! Not only do we get to kill a well known celebrity, but we get to do it on LIVE TV!" Millie said with glee letting out a few excited giggles after.
"And once she's dead we can step in front of the camera and promote our services! We can even say that the royalty of Hell likes us and it won't be total bullshit!" Blitzo suggested as he and the others then raised their glasses, "So let's toast! To the biggest bitch in all of Hell! Thank you Katie Killjoy, you've made us FUCKING rich!" He cheered, receiving a collective "YEAH!" from the others in response.