"You know, I've never seen one this big before, so large and heavy, and it's so smooth too, it's...honestly the sexiest thing I've ever seen in my life~" Angel Dust swooned with delight, as he with the aid of several new arms he could apparently grow, held close to his body the Slayer's rocket launcher.
The more time the Slayer and Vega spent with this particular demon the more intrigued they were, as he truly acted nothing like any demon nor person they had ever encountered. One minute he was a normal person just chatting away, the next he would laugh and grin as he recounted the tale of some unfortunate soul being murdered in some comical fashion, he would even have brief moments where as he talked about himself he seemed slightly vulnerable, only to then immediately change the subject to avoid going into further detail. But if there was one thing the spider demon loved to do more than any it was FLIRT, nearly every sentence or comment he made about himself, the Slayer, or even the Slayer's guns as he looked them over was drenched in innuendos or just blunt sexual statements. In typical fashion however the Slayer didn't react at all for obvious reasons, though Angel Dust had no way of knowing, so as he continued to say certain things and act in a certain way towards him, he simply assumed the Slayer just wasn't so easy to fluster and seduce.
Yet it would surprise all but himself and Vega that the Slayer was not bothered by such a clear and obvious advance, if anything he actually welcomed the uniqueness of the horny Hellspawn's interaction with him as it was a breath of fresh air. At this point the Slayer had been alive longer than any mortal being in the entirety of all reality, and while there were many memories before he became what he was now, the bulk of his thoughts and emotions were nothing but anger, pain, and even despair. Combine this with the fact that the only people he has had contact with since this began after his own died were the Maykrs and Sentinels, all of whom now revered and praised him as a righteous crusader, having someone treat him no differently than they would anyone else was genuinely nice. Though admittedly another reason he was enjoying the other's company was due to his appreciation of his weapons, for to the Slayer and Vega's surprise he actually had an eye for deadly armaments.
"How many different rocket launchers have you interacted with previously Angel Dust?" Vega asked, no longer calling him "mister" on his request.
"Eh, I honestly can't recall, you'd be surprised how many different turf wars and just general mass acts of carnage happen here, excluding the exterminations of course, sometimes it gets so fucking crazy you'll be taking cover and a gun LITERALLY falls right into ya lap, sure it's usually got an arm or two still holding on, but they come off pretty easy." Angel Dust answered as he continued to admire the rocket launcher, "Seriously though the craftsmanship on this thing is insane! like I've never seen a rocket launcher look so beautiful before, could frame this thing and stick it on yer wall!" He praised before adorning a quizzical expression "Although, I don't really see where the rockets go, how do you load it?" He asked.
"It doesn't use conventional ammunition, instead it uses energy for it's projectiles, concentrated and ejected at a high velocity it's impact and the resulting devastation are unmatched by any other weapons of similar design." Vega explained.
"Holy shit really?! that sounds fucking awesome! can I see it shoot?" Angel Dust asked with eyes as wide as a puppy's.
"Our agreement was that you would only look and hold the weapons, no firing would occur at any
point." Vega reminded.
"But...it's so cool..." He said in a sad tone, trying to use his charm and good looks to persuade them.
Sadly just as all his approaches had been thus far to get a reaction from the Slayer so was this one met with nothing, and as they continued to walk through wetted alleyways he with a defeated sigh would hand it back over.
"Ya know, you're a real tough nut to crack, and I would know because I have experience in nut cracking in both senses." He remarked as the Slayer made the weapon disappear.
"The Slayer very rarely ever responds himself, having me handle all verbal responses and most of the exchanges which happen from physical altercations, but in the moments where the other party insists on getting a rise or a response from him, then he shall respond in a way that is universally understood." Vega said.
"Which is?" He asked.
"The subduing or complete destruction of said party." Vega answered.
"Huh, yeah that makes sense, given how you splattered that bitch from the news, man I've NEVER seen someone just be made into itsy bitsy little pieces like that before, at least not so fast." He replied.
"The Slayer is quite efficient." Vega stated.
"Even so, what happens when someone doesn't annoy the crap out of ya? you know like if they walk up and try to sell ya something, or if they just want to shake yer hand or take a picture maybe, do you grab'em and crush'em like a soda can?" He asked.
"It has been a very long time since the Slayer has found himself in an environment where that could ever happen, in a time before he and I ever met in fact." Vega admitted.
"I see..." He said slowly as he looked off to the side, before a smirk appeared on his face "So, if I were to say, do something like this~" He mused as he slowly ran one of his hands up the Slayer's left bicep, "He wouldn't feel ANYTHING?" He asked.
"He would feel the sensation yes, but nothing else would come from it." Vega answered.
Whether he saw that as an invitation to challenge or he simply was this abundantly sensual, Angel Dust would respond by stepping in front of him and wrapping his arms around the Slayer. A pair around his neck, a pair around his sides, and a third pair that was dangerously close to where the Slayer's back pockets would be if he had them.
"Then what about this hmm? surely you're not so stoic and jaded that THIS doesn't get a rise out of you~" He teased seductively while pressing himself against the other.
Before either Vega or the Slayer could respond, or Angel Dust could look passed his visor and into his eyes to see how he was "reacting", all three were jolted from this sudden embrace by an explosion so powerful and so loud, it not only shook the ground beneath them but broke nearly every bit of glass around them.
"HOLY FUCK!" Angel Dust shouted as he let go and took a few steps back, "Where the fuck did that come from?!" He shouted in shock.
"We have a problem." Vega spoke addressing the Slayer only, just as the inside of his visor was filled with information, "That explosion didn't happen elsewhere in the city, meaning for us to have heard it at such a volume and for the resulting shockwave to have this effect we must be close to it's origin, I am currently scanning to see where it could be." He explained.
Whether it was good or bad luck was entirely up for interpretation, for as Vega relayed this to the Slayer the sounds of guns being fired and smaller explosions going off, came from just a few blocks over to their right. Yet as he was about to turn and head towards the unexpected conflict that was breaking out, he was halted as Angel Dust began speaking again, and what he said was surprisingly important.
"Wait!" He exclaimed as he walked back up next to him, "This part of town's mostly controlled by a pal of mine named Cherri Bomb, so if a fight's breaking out then she's probably in the middle of it, hell she may even be the cause!" He informed him.
"While this information certainly is useful, how exactly does it have any bearing on the current situation?" Vega questioned.
"Uh, EVERYTHING OBVIOUSLY!" Angel Dust shouted while putting his hands to his chest, "I'M LIKE HER BEST FRIEND! and I KNOW for a fact that if YOU go over there you're probably gonna start shooting whoever else is there without caring of who it is, and while normally I'd be down for that as everyone in Hell loves some good carnage every now and then, my point is that I can't have you turning Cherri Bomb into jam like you did Katie Killjoy! you can kill anyone else you want but let me talk to her before you get all trigger happy, I swear I can convince her to stop blowing shit up especially since I know she had to have heard by now who you are, and what you'll do to her if she doesn't knock it off!" He reasoned.
Normally the Slayer would just ignore the words of anyone who tried to convince him to not end an ongoing fight with his unrivaled violence. But the fact was Angel Dust had proven in a short time that he could be trusted to a certain degree, and if there was a possibility he could help lessen the destruction by just talking to one of those involved, then he should at least be given that chance.
"Very well, the Slayer will allow you to try and convince your friend to cease her destruction, however you will only have the one chance to do so, if she ignores you and continues to be a problem then she will be dealt with, are you going to understand and accept this outcome should it happen?" Vega asked.
"It won't come to that, I promise ya, despite her name Cherri Bomb's actually a really chill girl, I just need a few seconds with her and we'll get this ALL sorted out, I promise." Angel Dust responded.
"Hopefully you're right, however it would be best if you described her to us as we make our way to the fight, that way the Slayer doesn't kill her first by accident." Vega said as the Slayer brought forth his assault rifle into his hands.
"Sure thing, but let's do it on the way, more time we spend here shooting the breeze the more they shoot each other, and while she is tough I still don't want her accidentally catching a bullet." Angel Dust said.
Agreeing with a silent nod the Slayer and Angel Dust would begin running from their current alley towards the sounds of combat, with the latter making sure to describe his gal pal in as much detail as he could.
Whether it was due to the populace that inhabited Lucifer's Hell, or the fact that it was literal Hell that they lived in, the citizens of both the city and the circle as a whole rarely ever flinched when large scale violence occurred. And it didn't matter to them either what was used in said conflicts, it could be simple machine and handguns, massive vehicles like tanks or even airships like you'd see in movies and wars, or just some lunatics who had a bundle of grenades and were bored out of their minds, for Hell it was just something that happened in their everyday lives. So even as countless bodies were sent flying in all directions in countless pieces, all from explosions caused by just one person, the only people who batted an eye were the ones responsible for this display of discombobulation. Speaking of, the two head honchos, the masterminds of mayhem, the conductors of chaos that were behind this particular eruption of destruction, were well established gang rivals Sir Pentious and Cherri Bomb.
As for the people who were being blown apart by the latter's explosions, that would be the seemingly never ending soldiers of the sinister snake, who for some reason only known to him were all sentient egg creatures.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU MORONS DOING?!" He yelled at his minions as another batch of them were obliterated, "HOW HARD IS IT FOR YOU TO NOT GROUP TOGETHER AND MAKE IT EASIER FOR HER TO BLOW YOU TO BITS?!" He asked.
"Well sir, the thing is even if we didn't group up together she has those clever cluster bombs of hers, so no matter what we do we'd be dead regardless." One of his underlings replied in a sincere somewhat peppy way.
Responding to this by simply grabbing onto him and breaking him open like an actual egg, Sir Pentious with no remorse or emotion tossed both halves to the side before then clapping his hands together.
"Okay, so, Cherri Bomb is currently blowing apart every square inch of my property that surrounds this warehouse, if you don't kill her in the next ten minutes before I finish preparing my latest invention, I will cook all of you and have you for dinner, do you understand?" He asked in an eerily calm way.
Exchanging a quick nervous look between themselves his henchman all simply nodded before then rushing out of the building, each armed with a gun of some kind that he had also invented. Letting out a sigh of both relief and frustration, now that he was no longer surrounded by idiots he could continue getting his creation ready, which he knew for a fact would be able to deal with that horrid woman when inevitably his legion of dipshits all died. But even if they did all perish at the hands of the colorful bomber, which was all but a certainty, they were so plentiful and served so well as distractions that they at least had some actual use.
Though from where Cherri Bomb was currently standing and exploding everything around her, it seemed like all they were good for was making her laugh her ass off.
"MAN, I knew snake boy had some stupid henchmen, but this is just ridiculous." She admitted while lazily throwing a bomb of hers up and down in her palm, "I mean seriously, you think they'd all stop running at me, almost like they WANT to die." She added before then chucking that bomb with such power and precision, it managed to take out nearly twenty of them in one blast.
Letting out a hearty laugh as shells and yolks went flying all around her, she continued to unleash bomb after bomb upon the dimwitted dunces that tried to kill her, each one exploding with it's own unique colors and patterns which matched her own "explosive" personality. In the midst of this chaos however two new faces would enter the fray, though because Cherri and the eggs were so focused on each other, they thankfully were able to approach unnoticed.
"Oh, sir Pentious, yeah that makes sense." Angel Dust admitted as he crossed his arms, "And here I was describing how she looked like a dumbass, when she's LITERALLY the only non egg looking thing out here!" He exclaimed with a groan.
"These creatures are not very durable it would seem, most likely due to the odd design choice of making them so close to eggs, however their numbers are immense and they seem to be coming out of that warehouse without end, so it would be best to not focus on clearing them out entirely but just enough to make a path." Vega explained.
"Yeah, while you go scramble some eggs I'll go talk to Cherri, though if I might make just one suggestion, try to show off how good you are at killing things, if you do that it'll help me out." Angel Dust told him.
Simply nodding in response the Slayer wouldn't allow anymore words to be exchanged between him and Vega, for all he needed to know was where they were coming from and what he had to shoot. Rushing forward into a landscape filled with debris, eggshells, and the still living eggs he got to work quickly announcing his presence. Using the scope that was attached to his rifle he'd shoot exactly one bullet per egg, landing each one with unheard of precision and consistency that made it seem like he was incapable of missing. This in turn caused Angel Dust for a moment to be kept where he was, as he couldn't take his eyes off of how well the Slayer moved and shot his gun, it was like he was watching some kind of ballet with bullets and bloodshed.
But he still had a job to do, and given the sound of explosions going off all around them was still being heard, it was clear that Cherri Bomb had yet to see this display, so the spider demon snapped from his daze and began making his way to her, which wasn't hard as literally everything around her was already dead.
"Yo Cherri!" He called out hoping she'd hear him, which somehow despite the sounds of her bombs detonating was achieved.
"Huh? oh Angel!" She greeted as she turned to see him running towards her, a smile spread between her cheeks as he did, "Come to have some fun too? don't worry, there's still plenty of these suckers waiting to be slaughtered!" She exclaimed.
"Yeah, about that, I kinda sorta need you to well...stop." He told her bluntly once he finally reached her.
"Wait what? why would I stop? I'm having so much fun!" She replied as she once again lazily tossed a bomb up and down in her palm, "And why of all people would YOU be telling me to stop? you LOVE fighting ol' top hat with me, shooting up his eggs and everything." She pointed out.
"Yeah true, and if this were any other day under any other circumstances I'd just whip out my gun and start shooting, but thing is I've got this new friend of mine and he's well...how should I put this...not too keen on the whole senseless murder thing." He explained.
"Pfft, geez Angel when'd you start hanging out with pussies?" She asked him with a smirk.
The answer to her question would not come from Angel however, instead both would find themselves looking towards the warehouse as a cacophony of screams was suddenly belted out, and once they saw why that was they understood immediately. Normally Sir Pentious's eggs were far too incompetent or blindly loyal to ever be afraid or realize that they were just disposable assistants, but when a massive tank of a man was literally plowing through them with just his shoulders and his fists, even a brainless entity like a rock would be terrified. As for why the Slayer was choosing to be so physical with them as opposed to shooting, it was because for him they were
so weak, so pathetic, so hilariously easy to predict and kill, that he didn't think they deserved to be killed by any of his weapons. Now you might think to yourself that mass murder which involves egg people wouldn't be disgusting, least not in the visceral sense of guts and blood flying about everywhere, and in truth you'd be right.
But imagine if you saw one man, just ONE single dude, ramming his way through a literal army of said egg people with seemingly impossible strength and speed, he wasn't getting winded, all of their guns were useless, and all the eggs could do was scream in horror before he reduced them to near nothing. Even for a demon such as Cherri, who relished in chaos and the sheer spectacle of wanton destruction at her hand and her bombs, was brought to a complete stop as she watched this living force of nature unleash itself.
"You know, if THAT'S what you consider to be a pussy, then I might just have to try going straight for once." Angel Dust told her with a smirk, lightly jabbing her in her side with his elbow as he did.
"That's...that's the guy from the news...the one who wasted the anchor..." She muttered in disbelief, just as the Slayer splattered a dozen of the eggs with one swing of his arm.
"Mhm, I happened to bump into him as I was on my way to buy drugs, here are some fun facts, he's called the Slayer, he's got this cool robot dude who talks for him cause he's mute, oh and he's probably the single most unrivaled murder monster Hell's ever seen and you'd better stop blowing shit up or otherwise he's gonna turn on you." Angel Dust explained ending with a warning.
Falling silent as he just continued to absolutely decimate every single egg that was near him, all the while getting ever closer to the warehouse where they were pouring out from, Angel was honestly getting a bit worried as he'd never seen her act like this.
"Um...Cherri?" He spoke with a raised brow "You uh...you doin okay? you're normally not this quiet, or at all for that matter." He said.
Without warning Cherri would actually respond to his question, though she did so by grabbing onto his clothes and pulling him as close to her as he could possibly be.
"I. HAVE. TO MEET HIM." She told him sternly, her one fairly large eye as wide as he had ever seen it.
"Er, what?" Angel Dust responded as he was completely lost.
"LOOK AT HIM ANGEL! HE'S FUCKING SWATTING THEM LIKE FLIES!" She shouted in
amazement as she turned her focus back to him "Sure, they're just walking talking chicken crap, but even from here you can see the LITERAL SHOCKWAVES his punches and arms are making when he swings them! he's managing to break so many just because they're NEAR his attacks, he's fucking incredible!" She exclaimed.
"Uh, yeah I guess that's true, but ya know if you wanna meet him you gotta not blow stuff up for a bit." He told her.
"Fine! whatever! I can go a couple days and not blow shit up that's fine, but you SERIOUSLY HAVE to introduce me to him, he's so fucking cool!" She replied.
"Sounds fair, alright it's a deal." He agreed.
Then it happened, as their deal was made with nothing but their words and trust something truly shocking was seen. From within the warehouse a laser was fired from some unknown device, it came barreling outwards with such force and power it cut through both the building and the ground
it struck, creating a burned singed rut that ran the entire beam's length. And while that on it's own was terrifyingly impressive for the fairly small time inventor, whose ambitions were bigger than his hat, what really made Angel and Cherri's jaws drop was that it had hit the Slayer, and from what they could see it had killed him. For when the beam ended after ten straight seconds of firing, they looked for him amidst the scorched earth and found only blackened ash.
"YESSS! I FINALLY DID IT! FUCK YOU CHERRI!" The voice of Sir Pentious cheered aloud as it's owner slowly slithered from the building, "NOW THAT YOU'RE NOTHING BUT THE REMAINS OF AN ASH TRAY, I SIR PENTIOUSSS, SHALL TAKE OVER YOUR
TERRITORIES AND BEGIN MY RISE TO POWER!" He shouted as much as he could.
Continuing to slither out into the open until he was a good distance from the building, as the smoke began to clear and he could see just how much damage he had done, he found two figures standing not too far from him that he unfortunately recognized.
"Huh?...wait...WHAT THE HELL?!" He shouted out, as once the smoke cleared a bit more he could see it was Cherri and her slutty friend who was also a porn star, "How in the FUCK are you still alive? and when did you get here?!" He asked.
"He...he's dead..." Angel Dust muttered beneath his breath, truly dumbfounded that anything could have killed him, especially something that this jackass had built.
"What...what did you do?..." Cherri responded with a question, just as shocked as he was that the Slayer was dead.
"Um, excuse me, I ASKED MY QUESTIONS FIRST!" He shouted at them angrily as he placed his hands on his hips, "I KNOW for a fact I hit someone with my weapon, but if it wasn't either of you assholes who did I shoot then?" He questioned.
As if on cue, or perhaps simply waiting for the best time to reappear, from behind Sir Pentious the Slayer though covered head to toe in ash was still alive, and he seemed to be thrusting something towards Sir Pentious's backside. But before they could question as to what this mysterious also ash covered item was, and even before Sir Pentious could realize what was about to happen, they all heard the metallic heavy roaring of a chainsaw engine rev to full power in an instant, followed by said tool going through the snake demon's torso. Immediately his eyes shot open and pain filled his body as the sharpened teeth of the chainsaw began tearing him anew, but due to it having impaled him and the fact that it was slowly being dragged upwards made it impossible for him to scream, and so all he could do was watch in horror and agony as he was slowly split in half from the torso up. With one final pull that was as impressive as it was messy, the Slayer brought the chainsaw up through his head and hat in a swift motion, slinging blood everywhere and sending the now dead demon to the ground, his innards and blood spilling out around him.
Now, Angel and Cherri of course during that entire sequence had their eyes glued to Sir Pentious as he was mercilessly yet efficiently slaughtered, and they kept watching as his limp corpse hit the dirt, but once they caught a glimpse of the Slayer their focus went back to him. The reason as to why was twofold, first off the blood of Sir Pentious having splashed onto the Slayer, combined with his already darkened appearance because of the ash, made him look like the single most badass mother fucker Hell had ever seen. The second, was that while Sir Pentious's weapon hadn't killed or even wounded him, in fact from what they could see it seemed only successful in pissing him off, there was one other major thing it managed to accomplish. The Slayer, long hidden behind the protection of his helmet, now had his face exposed for all of Hell to see.
And from where Angel and Cherri were standing, he looked GOOD.
"Holy fucking shit he's hot!" Both demons unknowingly thought at the same time, as their eyes and minds went to work processing every last feature and detail of his face.