"So...you decided that out of every sinful soul in Hell...the best candidate to be the first resident...was a pornstar prostitute..." Lilith summarized in a drawn out fashion, trying her best to understand her daughter's logic behind such a decision.
After Lucifer was brought up to speed of all that has transpired in his brief absence, the conversation then refocused onto the new demons present in the lobby. Though admittedly they were almost entirely focused on Angel Dust, who had been revealed and since explained by Charlie to be the first resident of the hotel, before the insanity of the last two days. Yet even with an explanation put forward her parents and Katie as well, were trying their best to figure out why she would decide to go with someone who, as said by Lilith, was not only a pornstar/prostitute but also had a public friendship with a known gang leader. Speaking of, during this whole period both Angel and Cherri were helping themselves to the items Lucifer brought back from the kitchen, for he had foolishly placed them on the check in desk thus making them fair game.
"I mean...he was the only one who didn't laugh..." Charlie replied though a bit quiet and withdrawn, for while they were happy for anyone to come to the hotel, there was no denying Angel was truly the ONLY demon who even heard them out.
"Yeah, that makes perfect sense." Katie said nonchalantly, earning her glares from Lucifer, Lilith, and Vagatha, "I wasn't trying to make her feel bad I swear, just stating an obvious fact about pretty much everyone down here." She clarified.
"Still, while I understand it would be difficult to find anyone to give the hotel a try, did you really have to settle for him?" Lucifer questioned while looking over at Angel Dust, who was currently being cheered on by Cherri to down an entire serving bottle of booze.
"Well...I did come to you to ask if you could maybe help...but you laughed too..." Charlie said as her expression changed to one of sadness.
At first Lucifer tried to say something immediately, partly because he wanted to defend himself but also because he didn't mean to upset her. But there was literally nothing he could say after that, for he hadn't just chuckled or chortled when she came to him with her "dream", he straight up fell down in his throne while holding his sides as tears fell down his face, all from one of the biggest bouts of laughter he ever had. And so for a moment an incredibly awkward silence came over the room, Charlie feeling slightly embarrassed and hurt, while Lucifer felt guilty and stupid for not remembering that before he said anything. As for the others, Lilith and Vagatha both also adorned saddened expressions, because they didn't like seeing Charlie upset like this, while Katie just averted her attention elsewhere because she was not about to deal with any family drama.
Thankfully though much to his name Angel intervened, yes it was by coming over already reeking of booze despite it only being a few minutes, but still it was the much needed break that the tension required.
"What's with the sad mopey faces all of a sudden? what did someone die?" He asked with a laugh, before then holding up his several different bottles of alcohol with his arms, "We've got a shit ton of booze, fully loaded kitchen where it came from, and the single sexiest stud that's ever come down here! what more could you ask for?" He inquired.
"Sexiest stud?..." Lucifer repeated as that part made no sense, which caused Lilith to lean over and whisper in his ear to explain it for him "...WHAT?!" He shouted.
"Something wrong there yer majesty?" Angel Dust asked while popping the cap off one of the bottles, a knowing grin present on his features all the while.
"I...how...WHAT IN THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Lucifer shouted even louder after a slight stutter, before then pointing towards the ground floor rooms, "HOW MUCH OF AN IGNORANT ASSHOLE DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO TRY AND SEDUCE HIM OF ALL
PEOPLE?!" He questioned.
"Hmm...let's see...he's got arms the size of pythons, he's as powerful as a tank on steroids, as fast as a cheetah on speed, has a stare that could cut diamonds, has big FUCKING guns...and...shit...I know I'm forgetting something..." Angel listed while tapping his chin.
"HE'S GOT AN ASS THAT YOU CAN BOUNCE QUARTERS OFF OF!" Cherri shouted from
the check in desk, which wasn't at all necessary because it was just a few feet away.
"Oh right yeah, he's got an AMAZING ass, the kind you just wanna dig yer nails into as he's fucking your brains out." Angel said with a big toothy smile.
Hearing such a thing be said about the Slayer of all people elicited a myriad of reactions. Lucifer for starters had widened eyes and a pale expression, which was incredibly impressive given he was already white as a sheet. Lilith much like her husband and the others too also had widened eyes, though she was not nearly as taken aback for while yes, this WAS the Slayer, there was no denying that if he wasn't a murder focused man of questionable mental stability, he would be considered quite the catch. As for Charlie and Vagatha their reactions went hand in hand with each other, for while Charlie's was embarrassment and Vagatha's pure rage, they both stemmed from the fact that Angel was only making things worse.
Then you had Katie, who while unnoticed by nearly all of them as their focus was on Angel and his them, had been observed by Cherri who had a perfect view of all of them. And she managed to catch that for a brief moment when Angel said what he did, she seemed to be slightly intrigued as he made it sound like he "knew" how the Slayer's ass felt, though quickly did away with it to avoid being seen.
"Are...you...out of your MIND?!" Vagatha shouted this time, stepping in as Lucifer's replacement as he was frozen stiff with shock.
"Oh great, now you got your panties in a twist? good thing I got the hard stuff..." Angel said to himself before taking in a fairly large gulp of the open bottle.
"I mean, I know you are one of if not THE biggest slut in all of Hell, but could you SERIOUSLY NOT just keep your burning testicles under control ONCE? ESPECIALLY when it's the ONE GUY you should be terrified of?!" She questioned.
Deciding to piss her off even more as it was one of his favorite things to do, Angel responded by placing the bottle against his mouth and chugging it slowly. This in turn gave him the reaction he was hoping for, complete with crossed arms, a rapidly tapping foot, and a glare that while certainly angry, looked like a baby's in comparison to the Slayer's. And whether it was simply due to his expertise in the field of sucking, or perhaps he was just that good at draining a bottle of it's contents, within seconds it was empty and with a final smack of his lips to savor the flavor, he looked back to her and said:
"Come on, you just wanna fuck him too don't you?"
Screaming like a banshee while summoning her spear, the anger flooded Latina tried to pounce
him, only to be held back by Charlie via her arms around her waist.
"¡MALDITO ESTÚPIDO BASTARDO! JURO POR DIOS QUE TE MATARÉ Y CONVERTIRÉ TU CULO LLENO DE STD DE ADENTRO HACIA AFUERA Y LO CONVERTIRÉ EN UN
MALDITO SOMBRERO PARA QUE TE ENTIERREN!" She practically screamed out in Spanish, causing him to raise a brow.
"You know, when you decide to go all Mexican on me you lose all ground to be hurtful, cause I can't understand a fucking thing yer saying." He told her.
"ME ENTENDERÁS PERFECTAMENTE BIEN MIENTRAS TE DESPELLEJO VIVO Y TE CONVIERTA EN UN TAPETE DE BIENVENIDA PARA QUE LA GENTE LES LIMPIE LOS
ZAPATOS!" She continued to respond in Spanish, far too hate filled to care about not being understood.
Watching in genuine amazement and entertainment at this scene before them, Cherri and Katie were the only two people left who weren't in some kind of emotional distress. Apart from Lilith of course, who while fine was trying to bring her husband back to his senses as he was still unresponsive. But then they all heard it, and similarly to children who know they are misbehaving they all fell quiet, as the sound of heavy footsteps could just barely be heard through all the noise. Looking immediately to the hallway as Charlie released a now calm Vagatha, they saw the sight of a freshly cleaned Slayer emerge, even his armor was miraculously spotless.
Though for Lucifer he had a newfound feeling of surprise replace the old one, for he though informed of what had happened as he was in the kitchen, hadn't been shared the detail that the Slayer was without his helmet. And as he studied his face, every scar and detail that could be seen, he found the unexpected emotion that was confusion take hold in his mind.
"He...honestly looks so normal..." He thought as the Slayer came closer to them "I mean, I wasn't expecting him to have skin missing or his face to be horrifically mutilated, but still if he wasn't who he was and I just saw him walking down the street, he wouldn't really stick out all that much." He realized.
"Did something happen?" The voice of Vega spoke once the Slayer was in the center of the room, his eyes slowly looking between everyone as if studying them.
"Uh...we were just um...catching everyone up to speed is all..." Charlie said awkwardly, unable to keep from looking at both Vagatha and Angel Dust as she did.
"Man, you clean up real nice, even your suit's all shiny and shit, you're just full of surprises huh?" Cherri asked as she walked over.
"The Slayer is very mindful of the condition of his gear whether it be his weapons or his armor, however there is still the matter of his helmet being destroyed, this will require him to return to his fortress in order to get a replacement." Vega explained.
"Whoa whoa whoa wait, you've got a freaking fortress?!" Angel asked.
"Correct, it is referred to as the fortress of Doom, appropriately named as it was given to the Slayer when he began his second offensive against the denizens of Doom." Vega answered.
"Denizens of Doom? is that some dorky way of saying something else or is there a legit place called Doom?" Cherri asked jokingly.
However, as another wave of silence came over the room from that question, both she and Angel
realized that there was even MORE that they didn't know.
"Wait, I was right? there's an ACTUAL place called Doom? like no shitting that's a real thing?" She asked seriously this time, astounded that she was right.
"I see you have yet to inform them of the full scope of our situation." Vega said as the Slayer looked towards Lucifer, so that way he would know he was the one being addressed.
"Well of course we haven't, in fact I think it would be best if we waited before reciting your entire history as well as revealing that there's more than one Hell, plus there's those two imps from the station who have yet to take residency here, what do you want us to tell these two about you then do a repeat performance when they arrive?" He questioned.
"There's more than one Hell?" Angel and Cherri asked in unison this time, as more and more surprising yet interesting things kept being said.
"That is a good point, if you would like I could arrange a documentary covering all of the necessary information, then when the Slayer returns you, your wife, and miss Charlie can watch it to see if it is appropriate." Vega offered.
"You would do that?" Lucifer asked, a small bit surprised from how considerate that suggestion was.
"Of course, we are working together and you have already done a great deal to show us you can be trusted, it's only appropriate if we begin returning the favor." Vega answered, just as a large blue portal suddenly opened behind the Slayer, "However with this in mind it will take a considerable amount of time before we will return, it might not be until tomorrow as I will have to go through all of our archives, and make reasonable assumptions of what you would want to be shared publicly, but be assured that when we return we will have the first version of the documentary ready for
your viewing." He explained, the Slayer once he was finished then turning around and walking through the portal.
Dispersing immediately once he was through for a third time silence would come over this colorful assorted lot, as no one really knew how to respond or continue the conversation after that.
"...Hey." Cherri whispered to Angel, causing him to lean in closer so he could hear her, "I think that skinny bitch has got the hots for him." She said, even though she had literally nothing to actually support that claim.
Different people react to stress differently, which is typically something that needs not to be said as everyone by default is an amalgamation of unique traits. But when the difference in reaction is so severe it does need to be pointed out. Such as how when Katie Killjoy found herself in an empty infinite void, she was confused, she was terrified, and very quickly she was suffering as unspeakable horrors came from the abyss. But then you had Sir Pentious's way of dealing with stress, which was as simply as can be described, to throw a temper tantrum about how bullshit it was.
"THIS IS FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS!" He shouted into the nothingness, not even an echo present to come back to him, "I AM SIR FUCKING GODDAMN PENTIOUS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM YOU COSTUMED CRETIN?! I BET I HAVE MORE EYES ON MY BODY THAN YOU
HAVE IN BRAINCELLS!" He insulted.
Now if you're thinking that this is just only now happening, and that it has only gone on for a few
minutes, well, you'd be wrong. For while in Lucifer's Hell it had only been about twenty-thirty minutes give or take, in the universe in which the Slayer currently resided and by relation the soul harvester as well, a full day had gone by. And during that entire time Sir Pentious had done nothing but curse and threaten the Slayer, sure at first he was confused and uncertain of what happened or where he was, but he just assumed the Slayer had knocked him out and was now keeping him in some weird ass prison. The thing is though, when you think you're all alone you act differently than you would when people are around, if anything when confronted your true colors show, and this was something that Sir Pentious was about to face.
"I SWEAR WHEN I SEE YOU FIRST I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU! THEN I'M GOING TO WRAP MY TAIL AROUND YOU AND TOSS YOU AROUND LIKE OLD LAUNDRY! THEN I-
"Enough." A sudden voice spoke to interrupt him, it's tone and quality coming across as very bassy, and while seeming to speak at a quiet volume somehow came from all directions.
"Oh? FINALLY caring enough to give me the time of day are you? about FUCKING TIME ASSHOLE!" Sir Pentious responded as he crossed his arms, "Do you know how long I've been just floating here doing nothing? really I'm asking you because I sure as shit have no fucking clue, what kind of cell is this anyway? something for you to hide away in when you pick fights with people you DON'T sneak up on?" He asked.
"He is arrogant, ignorant, and impudent, good." The voice described, causing him to adorn a look of shock.
"How DARE YOU! I'll gladly accept arrogant because I AM amazing, but if there is one thing I am not it is ignorant! and as for impudent why the FUCK would I care about showing YOU any respect? you're nothing but a scared little chicken who had to strike me from behind in order to beat me!" He countered.
"We need not waste more than a lost one on him, that will be enough." The voice spoke one final time, before going silent.
"Lost one? what the Hell are you going on about? will you answer my questions already? and will you let me out of this stupid dark room bullshit?!" He asked.
As if to appease him in the slightest way possible, a face would slowly begin emerging from the darkness that surrounded him a fair distance away. And while at first he assumed it was his captor finally revealing himself, he would be left at a loss for words as the face was actually a horned skull, one that with a mouth full of fangs and fire would fly towards him while releasing a deafening screech.