Title: Spill the Beans
Author: Kuroi Tenshi [kuroi_22@hotmail.com]
Pairings: MitKo, SenKosh, RuHana
Warnings: Weird Internet junkies, even weirder advice columnist and the weirdest of them all, the writer herself. ^_^ This is kinda AU, TWT also applies since well… I dunno, just don't think too much of the fic's plot and all that stuff since this will be more on humor [at least that's what it's supposed to be ^^;;]. Basketball's not that much of an issue in this fic so you can forget about that too.
Notes: Um, I'm aware that this format is kinda confusing but just try to guess who's who (it's not that hard, you'll see). Think of it this way, the ones asking Kate's advice are the SD charas using different SNs. The events are happening and told in their POV. Got it? Thanks. ^_^
Disclaimers: you know the drill by now. Not mine, no money, don't sue. Btw, the addresses and URL of the site [gotguts.org] isn't real. ^_^
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Part 1
~*~*~*~
Welcome to Spills the Beans, another project by Guts, Inc.
Having problems? Do you need someone who's sensitive enough to give you a good advice? Mary Kate will be more than happy to help you and give you sensible advises on how to go about your day to day life problems. Spill the Beans was an idea by Kate aiming to help people out there by offering advice.
The forum's open for everyone. It'll take about a day or two for Kate to sort through all the mail and post her responses but rest assured your mails and posts won't go unanswered. Thank you for taking time to browse around.
Other services offered by Guts, Inc.: Web Designing: Basics of Page-Making by Blue, Starting Your Own Business: Quick Steps in Mastering the Art of Negotiating by Alex, Anime Corner: Reviews and Ratings on New Anime Releases by Kate.
A short message from Kate:
Since the site is new, we'd really appreciate to get feedback from you. If it's not too much trouble, please give us a brief history on how you found the site. Thank you.
Advice column: Mary Kate problem_solver@gotguts.org
Web design: Blue Belle artistic_chick@gotguts.org
Communications Officer: Miss Alexia alex0210@gotguts.org
~*~*~*~
Dear Mary Kate,
Call me insane for even writing this letter. But I think madness finally won in that's why I'm asking for your advice. I have a problem. Am I sick if I were to confess to you that I've been spending a lot of my waking hours (when I'm not at school—well, even at school but anyway—or playing basketball) surfing the net?
It's not for research. I've recently stumbled upon a few—this thing is confidential, right? You don't have tracking devices that can trace me back, right? You'd better not or I'm suing! I swear, I'll get my father to close down the whole site if you track me down and expose my true identity.
Anyway, taking the risk of being found out, I've stumbled upon a few… well, how do I put this... uh, fics. If you don't know what fics are, they're fictions. Fanfiction. I had no idea our lives were being publicized all over the world and some people are sick enough (okay, some of the lemons were really good) to write about us. They even had me—uh, this person I know paired off with someone I would never have looked at without gagging.
Anyway, I came across said fics some nights ago. And it was about well, me and someone I know. Someone I know I shouldn't be romantically involved with. I'm not saying I'm falling in love with that person. ~makes face~ I have more taste than that.
But I can't seem to stop myself from going on line all the time and looking for more fics. Of that particular pairing. Am I sick?
P.S. someone sent me a link to this site. I'm still deciding whether or not to send a virus to whoever sent me the link or thank him.
P.P.S. You can't know who I really am, right? Because really, I'm serious about suing.
Threatening to sue,
Virgin Shorty (don't you dare laugh!)
Dear Virgin Shorty,
First off, please call me Kate. I hate it when people call me Mary Kate—which makes me wonder why I even had Mary Kate as my sn in the first place, but we're not here to talk about my screen name. I just hate it when I'm addressed as Mary Kate, so please, for both our sakes, call me Kate.
Another thing, I love your nick. Interesting. Is it true about you being a virgin? ~_^ Hehe. And don't worry, we don't do those tracking people thing. Though Alex has a program for that, we discussed it and decided among ourselves tracking people just isn't worth the effort. You don't have to sue.
Alright, now let's get down to business. I don't think it was insanity that was responsible for you writing us. I think it's more of desperation. You needed to get this juicy little secret out of your system before it ate you away. That's why you wrote to me about it. And here's my advice.
I don't think it's sick. I don't think other people do as well. But of course, there are exceptions to every rule; some may find it sick or dirty but that's just them. Some people can't take the truth that gay relationships exist that why they turn the other way and say its wrong. But keep in mind that not everybody thinks that way.
Like me, for example. I like reading fics. Yes, I know what fanfiction is, you didn't have to tell me but anyway, I'm wandering off-topic now. You're feeling guilty and dirty right now because you've been looking for more of those so-called fics with that pairing.
You're saying you and some other guy you know is the pairing? That's okay, I don't really find anything wrong with that. I don't know you personally so I can't assert that what I'm saying is right and should be taken to heart and followed strictly but why don't you do some reflections of your own. Think of reasons why you seem to be craving for that pairing.
Are you interested in the other guy but just not aware of it yet? Or was it just written so well that it didn't matter that it was about you and it never (or never would) happened?
I hope I helped. But I did answer your question about you being sick. No, you're not. So stop feeling like you've done something wrong or something you should be ashamed of.
Kate
Dear Kate,
I saw a link of your site while I was researching few hours ago. I've been trying to sort things out by myself so I thought I'd give it a shot and ask for your opinion.
Have you ever encountered situations where you're falling for your best friend? I've been with said friend for a year now. We're not romantically involve or anything. Just together like any other friends should be. But for the past three months, I've been noticing how much I like being with him all the time. And I feel miserable when I see him talking to other people who are attractive, boys and girls alike (I have this suspicion he's bi). So I finally accepted the fact that I'm falling for him.
I want to tell him how I feel. But I have no clue how. Should I risk our friendship, tell him and risk rejection? Or should I just shut up and enjoy every minute of his presence since then I could actually be close to him and touch him like put my arm on his shoulder? What should I do?
Confused,
Deputy Guy
Dear Deputy Guy,
I've seen a lot of these cases. I think the best thing you should do is wait for a while, drop hints here and there about your feelings. But don't go right out and confess your undying love for him yet. The right time will come. I can't tell you exactly when that is, you'll be the one to know. But it will. Trust me.
Now, I'm saying what I think you should do. I'm here to offer advice. But that doesn't mean you have to take them to heart and live according to my words.
If he responds positively to the hints you drop, then there's hope for you. Just be sure not to be direct and very obvious with the hints. Now here's the ugly part. If he doesn't then that means he's not interested. And if he starts avoiding you and start acting differently after the hints, I'd advice you to stay away for a while.
It could be that he's rattled and confused on how to respond that's why he's acting that way. But if he starts acting like a jerk, then give him a well-deserved kick at the you-know-where. Okay, so don't do that. But forget about him if he starts acting like a jerk. He's not worth it.
But then again, we're jumping way ahead. Just drop hints for a while, okay? Then we'll go from there. If he shows interest, go tell him. Good luck.
P.S. About your situation, I recommend you watch the anime To Heart. You'll see similarities. But I have to be honest. It leaves you kinda hanging in the end. But hey, you might enjoy it too. ^_^
Kate
Dear Kate,
I'm new at this kind of thing but don't worry, I'm a genius so it won't be that hard. Anyway, my friend was "surfing" as he called it before he fell asleep. I'm taking over the computer while he's out. The site was already open when I got here so I don't know how he knew about the site. I have this suspicion my friend's really an Internet junkie who pretends he's not interested in it but in reality, he can't last a day without checking his mail. But enough about him. Let's start talking about me.
I have a problem.
Normally, I don't have a hard time solving problems (as long as they're not mathematical ones, that is) since I'm smart and talented. You can describe me in one word: genius. That's why solving problems is easy. But not this one—I guess my genius abilities have to rest too, so you can feel better about yourself by giving me advice.
I like this girl from my year. She's really nice, smart and pretty. Like me. We're perfect for each other. But she likes someone else (which sometimes makes me wonder if she really is smart), who is stupid, ugly and can't play basketball if his life depended on it. He's just like that, really stupid and really useless. That's why I hate him.
But last week, while we were playing basketball alone at the gym after everyone left, something happened. We were fighting as usual but when I looked into his eyes, I froze. They were beautiful—not as beautiful as my own eyes but they come in second. And then I became aware of how close he really was. Our foreheads were almost touching and I could feel his solid body against mine since we were kinda wrestling.
Then he froze too. I think he realized how close we were as well. But that wasn't the only weird part. I became aware of his lips nearing mine. They were becoming really close. My eyes slid close and I could feel his breath tickling my mouth.
But before anything else could happen, before his lips could touch mine, the door banged open and one of our teammates came in and we both jumped apart. We pretended like nothing happened after that.
He was back to his usual baka self. And I was back to liking this girl. But I can't help but remember the way his blue eyes looked so beautiful that time. And now I can't stop wondering how those lips would've tasted.
But he's stupid and ugly. He doesn't deserve someone as great as me. Besides, I hate him.
The Tensai had been here,
Basketball Genius
Dear Basketball Genius,
Like Deputy Guy's case, I've seen a lot of this. ^_^ Right now, you can't decide whether or not you like this guy. And you're starting to doubt if you really like this girl.
You're confused as hell but that's okay. I know I would've been had I been in your shoes. Here's the thing. Did you ever wonder if your "hate" as you called it, for this guy was actually attraction? And you were trying to deny it by calling it hatred or intense dislike since you didn't know what to do?
I really can't tell you what to do. But I can advice you to try looking past the "hatred" you have for him and observe him and yourself for a while. Then you can decide whether or not you like him. It's not going to be easy. If you're confused now, I can guarantee you'll be confused tenfold by this.
But that's life. You'll just have to deal with it. You are, after all, a genius. Good luck with you and that guy.
P.S. how nice of you to make me feel good about myself by seeking my advice. I shall be eternally grateful. ~rolls eyes~
Kate
Dear Kate,
Are you making fun of my sn?! It's a long story. My sister, as usual, was being her insane, scary self and changed all my sn to Virgin Shorty and did something with the password so all I can use is this stupid nick, no matter what I do. I didn't know she was that handy with computers. You'd think a mad banshee would know nothing about technological advances such as these.
But enough about my name, I'm not here to talk about that. I need help. Would it seem really weird that now, as I'm typing this, my ears are being subjected to torture in the form of snoring? Said guy from said fics is lying on my bed in my room. And we're fucking alone.
Why am I being reminded of a certain fic? A certain lemon fic?
I need to go to the bathroom. Excuse me… He just moaned in his sleep. I think I better sleep in the guestroom. I'll just sneak in before everybody wakes up so nobody will notice that I didn't sleep in my room. With him. Alone.
Am I turning into a hentai like him?
Will probably be in the bathroom the whole night,
Virgin Shorty
Dear Virgin Shorty,
I can sympathize with sisters. I share my room with her. They're evil. But then again, it's good to have them so they can pull you out of your nightmares, especially if said nightmares have monstrous purple dinosaurs in it. Had she been a second late, I think I would've been scarred for life.
As for you being a hentai, no, I don't think so. Have you ever heard of the word hormones? I'm not good at Biology (though I'm proud to say I got a 91 on it for two semesters) but they're this things that causes you to you know… ~wiggles eyebrows suggestively~ You know what I mean.
I think you really should try and control yourself from reading too much of those fics. But then again, you're talking to someone who can never get enough of those yummy treats—have you tried fanfiction.net? They have a lot of good fics. Your thirst will surely be satisfied.
Anyway, about the fics, maybe you should limit yourself to three fics a day at most. And what happened to my earlier advice? Reflections are good, buddy. You'll be surprised with what you'll discover. Not just about you but others around you as well.
Hmm… in my opinion, the fics are getting to you. It's affecting your relationship with this guy you're paired with. OR ~grins happily~ You have these dormant feelings for this guy and those fics that you've been reading are doing one darn fine job waking them up. Maybe you're just realizing you've been in love with him all along. The fics just served as some sort of tool for you to realize that. What do you think?
Do you find this guy attractive? Do you find yourself yearning for his presence even if you've only been away for thirty seconds? Do you find yourself in dreams kissing him?
If you do, then there's only one advice I can give you. Go for it!
Give it a shot. Who knows, maybe the feeling's mutual. ^_^
Kate
Dear Kate,
I heard one of those stupid girls at my school talking about a new advice column thing opening around this time so I decided to check it out. My pills are missing right now (I think my mother accidentally threw it in the trashcan while she was cleaning a while ago) so I'm caving in and asking for your advice.
I think I like this person. Okay, so I know I like him. Damn, can't even lie to myself anymore.
So anyway, I like him. I've come to terms about me being gay a year ago so it doesn't bother me that I like guys. At least they don't go around in stupid little outfits that show off their legs and scream like a bunch of wild banshees in heat during mating season. Going back to the problem, I like him.
The only thing is, I think he hates me. Okay, fine. So I know he hates me. And it's all because of one stupid girl. See? I told you girls are stupid that why I prefer guys (no offense to you since I know you're a girl). I mean, I SAW HIM FIRST!
So what if they thought I was sleeping and pooling my desk with drool? I saw him through the door when he passed by my classroom at the first day of classes. I saw him first. So that makes him mine.
But then before I could gather enough courage to talk to him and introduce myself, he meets this girl (which, from now on will be called IDGI—meaning Idiot Girl). Now he thinks (emphasis in thinks, please, he THINKS he's fucking in love with IDGI) he's in love with her.
Which was really annoying. But that's okay. I'll repair said damage by walking up to him and smiling at him. Then he'll fall for me (please not the absence of the phrase: he thinks he's falling for me). But before I could do that, IDGI opens her stupid big mouth and tells him she likes me. Yup, you guessed it.
Since he thinks he's in love with her, he starts hating me because I'm competition. Is murder against the law? Even if I'm killing one of my so-called adoring fans? I mean, I know she'll die happy if only I'd smile at her. Can I do that then kill her right after? At least she dies happy. See? I'm not so bad. I'm just misunderstood.
Back to my problem, I need your advice. I almost kissed him last week. If only that stupid Ishii didn't come… but that's okay. I've taken care of him. But he does look cute with blood running down the side of his face. But he's no comparison to him. Anyway, I almost kissed him.
Now I can't stop dreaming of that near-kiss. Which makes it harder for me to wake up. But I don't care about that. I want to know if his lips taste as sweet as it looks. I've been thinking about that for a while now. I've been thinking about it every after practice when we shower. He's always last to shower after practice. Well, he used to be until I started hanging around late after training too. Do you know how beautiful he is?
Of course you don't. And I'm glad for that. I wouldn't want the site to be short of its advice columnist if I ever catch you looking at him. He's mine, okay? I saw him first. He's mine.
So for your advice, what do you think I should do? Do I grab him while he showers after practice (making sure no one, as in no one walks in again) or do I just wait for him inside his bedroom (I happen to know where he lives and I know this vital information that his mother is away for two weeks in a business trip) totally nude?
P.S. I can't stand it. I saw him first. He's mine. So why the hell is she hanging around him like a barnacle on a whale's ass? HE'S MINE!
At lost at which option to pick,
Super Rookie
Dear Super Rookie,
Have you ever thought of changing pills? I think you need something stronger.
Anyway, you sure embody the word possessive, don't you? First, try seeking professional help that deals with counseling. I think that'll work better instead of those pills when keeping your sanity intact. Or take the pills and seek counseling.
Now, as for which options to take, why don't you do both, after you tell him how you feel? I mean, of course he'll get what you mean the minute you grab him that way but he'll be more than surprised, I assure you. Why not give him a little warning?
Oh, did I mention that rape is against the law too?
Take anger-counseling classes with regards to girl he thinks he likes. Even if she dies happy (after seeing your smile), it still doesn't change the fact that murder is a crime punishable by law. And if you're imprisoned, how will you spend time with him? And don't worry, I value my life very much that I would never dream of looking at him.
Try to rationalize, Super Rookie. Remember, rape and murder is against the law. You can't do either. And besides, since you're interested in him, had you ever tried telling him that? Have you showed him just how much you care or something? Flowers, maybe? Or try walking him home, not stalking him.
I hope I helped. And please, take those pills already.
Kate
Dear Kate,
I have a confession to make. I just need to get this out of my system so you don't have to worry about advising me what to do. But if you do offer possible solutions, it's okay.
I like this guy. He's really nice, warm and goddamnit, he's beautiful! He's really sweet and he's nice to everyone. You'd think he's an angel sent from above. All he needs is a pair of wings and well-placed lighting equipment and you'd think you're in heaven.
God, did I write that? That was way too corny, even for me. ~cringes~ Anyway, the thing is, he's really sweet and innocent. And he's my friend. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. But you see I have this past.
I used to be a member of a gang. I changed my ways and I don't fight anymore (unless it's really necessary). But you know how it is about gangs. If you think that's bad, wait till you hear the rest. Since he's so sweet and he's innocence personified, I don't think it'll work out.
I'm not worried about looks either. I happen to be one of the sexiest guys in the whole of Kanagawa. So it's not the looks that matter. It's this… thing.
I don't think I'm worthy enough for him. Because well… I think I fell for him when he smiled. He has this thing in him that makes me weak on my knees whenever I see those perfect, pearly white teeth.
I have a thing for teeth, so what? I've seen people sell their souls for George Clooney's chin. I mean, what the hell is that about? I think my chin looks better. But forget about his chin for a while, I'm trying to share a big part of me here.
So he has this perfect teeth. And I, uh… Remember the gang? I kinda lost a tooth or two during a fight. Which reminds me, a certain shorty will have to pay for that. It's because of him my chances with my angel are ruined.
Can you tell me, how the hell do I blind him with my flashy smile if I have this gaping absence of a tooth right at the middle?
Fuming and ready to kill a certain shorty,
Most Valuable Player
Dear Mr. MVP,
Did it ever occur to you that it doesn't matter to your "angel" that you lost a tooth? Have you ever heard of technological advances such as dentures? I'm sure you have. My grandfather and aunt are dentists, would you like me to give you their card?
This situation is familiar. Oh, I got it. It reminds me a lot of Trowa and Quatre. You know, from the anime Gundam Wing? And let's not forget about Heero and Duo. They always feel as if they don't deserve the ones they love. How sweet. But it gets kind of annoying.
I mean, I love both pairing BUT don't you think it'll be better if they get over their inferiority complex and just cut themselves some slack? They fought and won wars, for Pete's sake. They deserve it.
So do you.
You already changed your gangster days so why not give yourself a break and stop letting that ultra cool—I mean dark—past hinder you from being happy.
If he's as nice, sweet and caring as you say he is, then I'm sure he can find it in his little pure heart to look past the gaping hole that is your lost tooth and love you for who you are, dentures be damned.
Kate
Tbc
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