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First of I'd like to thank the people who reviewed! ::glomps Rings of Saturn and Anny:: T'ank Chu! ^_____^ I *thrive* on feedback, you see. And feedbacks is always rewarded by cookies. ::grin::
Anyway, sorry if the wrong chapter appeared on the wrong fic. I hadn't realized I posted art 2 of Spill for the second part of Colleague. ::hits herself:: Baka. ^^;; Oh, well. Anyway, again, thanks to those who reviewed and gave feedback. At least I know there are some people who're reading and liking. ^_^ Now back to your regularly scheduled ficcie. Ja.
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Title: Spill the Beans
Author: Kuroi Tenshi [kuroi_22@hotmail.com]
Pairings: MitKo, SenKosh, RuHana
Warnings: Semi-Yaoi alert! Weird Internet junkies, even weirder advice columnist and the weirdest of them all, the writer herself. ^_^ This is kinda AU, TWT also applies since well… I dunno, just don't think too much of the fic's plot and all that stuff since this will be more on humor [at least that's what it's supposed to be ^^;;]. Basketball's not that much of an issue in this fic so you can forget about that too.
Notes: Um, I'm aware that this format is kinda confusing but just try to guess who's who (it's not that hard, you'll see). Think of it this way, the ones asking Kate's advice are the SD charas using different SNs. The events are happening and told in their POV. Got it? Thanks. ^_^
Disclaimers: you know the drill by now. Not mine, no money, don't sue. Btw, the addresses and URL of the site [gotguts.org] isn't real. ^_^
Dedication: This part's dedicated to my best bud, Gen-chan. ::glompies:: Cheer up. This is the result of my sudden-depression syndrome attack aside from the dj-thing. ^_^ Thanks for coming to my rescue the other night. And don't worry, we can always add the universities' admins to my hit list. It's growing quite long now. Salad's still on top. ~.^
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Part 2
~*~*~*~
Hello, everyone. I'm happy to announce that 24 hours after launching Spill the Beans, we've already had more than a hundred hits! ~starts dancing around cheering~ And that's all thanks to you. Yes, you. Thank you all for supporting our site.
I, on behalf of my other partners, promise to live up to your expectations and will continue giving out advice. Spill the Beans' objective is to help those who are in need. It doesn't matter what your sexual preferences are. Thank you. Have a nice day.
P.S. To unnamed person who signed the gb: I'd appreciate it if you don't call me perverted and sick for offering advice to people who're in need of guidance just because said people prefer lovers from the same gender. I'd prefer it if you call me Unconventional and Kinky. Thank you. ^_^
Kate
~*~*~*~
Dear Kate,
After spending half of last night in the bathroom, I think my head's a bit clearer now. Yes, I used that time to reflect. See? My sister should be proud of me. I'm spending my time wisely. Ha! Take that Sayaka! You can never give me those boring lectures on time being precious again.
AHEM. Anyway, I agree. I already have fanfiction.net bookmarked on my computer. God, did you see how many stories there were of Harry Potter? I like the HP/DM pairing. What about you? But you honestly, Draco suddenly going all mushy to Harry's getting kind of dull. I think I'm craving angst now. But I like my angst to end happily. Weird, huh? ~shakes head~ And do you know any of those SB/RL pairing? I'm kinda starting to like them too. Don't they look cute together?
Oh, wait. I'm not supposed to talk about Harry Potter and fics. We're here to talk about me and my so-called problem.
Okay, I did what you told me. I reflected, A LOT since well, I've been up practically the whole night, what was I supposed to do while I passed time, right?
And I think you were right. So maybe I had these dormant feelings for this guy. Hmm… let's give him a name…. I know. Pervy. You'll see why when I explain. So given that—but I'm being hypothetical here, okay? HYPOTHETICAL!—I do have feelings for him, no matter how latent and remote they are. So I kinda, hypothetically, like him. What do I do?
He's kind of a player. MAJOR player. Five girls (and guys too, it's a proven fact he's bi) in a week. He's got dates for Monday through Friday. See? Player. Oh, did I mention this little fact he's a hentai as well (hence the name)? If that's not enough to convince you how much trouble he is, let me describe him in detail.
Let's start with the bad traits, okay? He's weird. Who in their right mind would use half a container of extra-extra-super-mega-extreme-hold gel on their hair and make it spike up? He's got a weird hairstyle. He smiles a lot. Good thing? Nope. He's insane. He needs to be locked up in an asylum if he doesn't stop smiling all the time.
I mean, do you smile happily when a pickpocket steals your wallet? Or would you have it in you to actually laugh at the fact that you've been stranded in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a bottle of gel as your means of survival?
So he's perky and sees everything in the bright side. I'd call for a psychiatrist if I were you. His lips… God, his lips… Ahem. Let's skip that. His built... He's so tall and well built... Again, let's skip it.
That was just the physical part. Let's go to the worst of them all. He's a damn pervert! 'Nuff said. Really. You'd think... uh, you know's the only thing on his mind. He doesn't care about feelings. He just jumps into a relationship to get what he wants and that's it.
Sometimes I wonder if he really knows what the word "love" means. I've heard him utter it to various people for years now. And he hadn't meant even one of them. That's why… I don't know, I guess you can say I'm scared of feeling this way toward him.
But there's this thing in him that draws me in. It's not just his looks. Or his lips. It's him. But then I'm just his best pal, right? That's why…
I told you he's stupid. He's stupid, stupid, STUPID! Oh, the ones listed above are just the bad traits. Let's go to the good ones. Let's see… Pervy's good at basketball. And he… he's good at basketball. Um, he's really good at basketball?
I told you. It's pointless. He's stupid. And me liking him... that's just plain weird. He's a hentai and he's stupid. He smiles a lot and is probably the most insensitive guy in the world. I bet he doesn't even know I'm having these hypothetical feelings for him.
So if I like him—hypothetically—the relationship's pretty much doomed right from the start. See? I see no point in even asking about him. I'm not feeling anything for him. I'm unaffected by the fics.
Um, however, if I were to ask you hypothetically (emphasis on hypothetically) that if I do have feelings for him and want something to happen, what do I do? But I'm just asking for the sake of asking. No way do I have feelings for him. Nuh-uh. No feelings at all.
Theoretically musing,
Virgin Shorty
Dear Virgin Shorty,
It's a good thing you took my advice and reflected. See? It makes you realize a lot of things. With regards to HP fics, yes, I've grown quite fond of those SB/RL fics too. Unfortunately, there aren't much of those fics. ~sigh~ Keep searching in ff.net. I'm sure you'll find just the kind of thing you're looking for. They have a lot of fics but your efforts will pay off when you read a well-written fic there.
Now about your hypothetical feelings.
Given the list of qualities you made of him, I think he's okay enough. I suggest you try talking Pervy into contacting Super Rookie, maybe they can discuss pills and counseling together (oh, and take those anger-counseling classes for yourself too). But I don't think the relationship's doomed from the start.
It needs a bit of work since you can't seem to get over the little thing called him being a hentai and a player. Maybe he's dating a lot of people to find the right one for him. Maybe he wants to be able to experience this and that with that person before he figures it out that he need not look elsewhere. He just needs to look beside him. Or look in the bathroom. ~_^
I know it's hard for you since I know how tough it is to like someone who likes to flit from flower to flower. But try to understand him. Relationship is a two-way thing. You need each other for it to work. Communication is needed too. Talk and listen.
But we're moving much too advance. We're talking about the relationship. Why don't you try reflecting again? And read what you posted earlier when you were describing him. You'll notice something that'll give you a hint on how you really feel about him.
As for your hypothetical question? What to do? I'd say wait for everyone to leave while he showers and you take it from there. ^_^ Just kidding. But I really think you ought to start acting. Start showing him hints of how you feel. Try smiling at him more. Express yourself to him more openly. And if that doesn't work, grab him while you're passing by a dark janitor's closet.
P.S. Have you ever heard of the word denial?
Kate
Dear Kate,
I tried doing what you said. I tried dropping hints here and there that I care for him. I think I'm getting the hang of it. This afternoon, at practice, I briefly touched his hand. It was really soft and wow! I could've died and went to heaven. After that, I smiled at him.
I don't know why but he suddenly froze then mumbled something inaudible. Then took off, running towards my other teammate and completely ignoring me. Did I do something wrong?
I only touched his hand, for God's sake! Oops, I shouldn't swear, it' not nice. Sorry about that. But I really don't know what happened. That happened few minutes before practice ended. I don't see any reason for him to leave me and rush off to this person. I mean, I know he's friends with him and stuff but they seemed like they were talking so seriously—unless… but I thought this guy the guy I like talked to (there are too many guys in this sentence) liked someone else! Do you think they have this secret relationship that this "adoration" he has for this girl is just a cover-up? What if they were talking about me behind my back?
What if they were talking about how stupid I was, liking this guy?
What if I've been found out?
I rushed home after practice because I had a test to study for but I noticed they didn't leave right away. Were they going to talk about me and my crush for him more?
I thought I had a chance with him that's why I kept dropping hints. I even passed by his classroom fifteen times (I counted) this day just to see him and wave at him. He must've been laughing all this time!
What if he was? What do I do?
Being eaten alive by paranoia,
Deputy Guy
Dear Deputy Guy,
Calm down. I think you're reading too much into his actions. You're jumping to conclusions—something you shouldn't do. Try rationalizing. He's not laughing at you.
Calm down. Take a deep breath… inhale, exhale, let it out slowly… if that doesn't work, I suggest you grab the nearest thing to you (and make sure it's not expensive) and hurl it across the room. I guarantee you, it'll make you feel much, much better.
Now that you've calmed down, you can put that desk lamp down now. Using it as a bat and their heads as the ball accomplishes nothing. Okay, I think we can talk like civilized human beings now.
Maybe he and this guy friend of his just needed to talk about something serious. But that doesn't mean they were talking about you. They could've been talking about the weather for all you know. Here's a really good advice you should take to heart: Do not jump to conclusions.
Believe me, jumping to conclusions is a good way to dig your grave very deep. So let's think logically and try keeping ourselves from devising possible murder plans.
Maybe you weren't dropping hints correctly? I mean, you guys were playing basketball, right? So it's only natural that your hands brush "accidentally" more than once in a game. And you smiled at him? He's your friend, right? Of course you smile at him all the time. There's nothing extraordinary about it.
Why don't you try it this way? Be extra sweet and thoughtful to him. Show signs that you're interested in him romantically and not just as a friend.
Last bit of advice: Smashing his head with that lamp is definitely not a good way of expressing your love for him.
Kate
Dear Kate,
It's me, the genius again. What would you do if your most hated rival suddenly grabs you from behind and kisses you while you shower?
Practice ended early (since Gori had a family meeting to attend—so that's why the zoo was closed today, I was wondering about that). And the vice-captain rushed home like someone was after him. So that left us pretty much unguarded and ready to wreak havoc since we were all alone with no supervision (the old man left minutes before the Gori did). But of course this genius was there so they all behaved.
Except for him. He kept ignoring me. Calling him Kitsune (the nickname I gave him) didn't even affect him. He was determined to ignore me. So anyway, two of our teammates stayed longer, waiting for me to finish practicing the basics (but I didn't need them) so one of them can walk our manageress home. The two pretty much kept to themselves. I have this feeling they're up to something.
I don't think the vice-captain would like that though. I know he likes one of them. But forget about them since I'm here, they're just co-stars. I'm really the star, right? After they left, that stupid guy I was telling you about was still there.
I continued to practice my dribbling (just to practice, my form is already perfect the way it is). He continued to shoot. I didn't talk to him and he didn't talk to me. I couldn't concentrate on anything because his silence (well, he's always quiet anyway but he's not even insulting me) was making me nervous.
So I showered. Then it happened.
Remember me wondering about how those lips tasted?
Well, they tasted sweet. Really sweet. After the initial sweetness, you get this feeling of heat spreading throughout your entire mouth. God, was that some kiss. He doesn't talk a lot but he certainly knew how to use his tongue!
Okay, so we stood there, our bodies drenched by the shower as it continued to rain over us. Correction, my naked body and his sweat-dampened clothed body. Don't you dare say anything about me being in my birthday suit. ~glares~ I know you're fighting really hard to keep yourself from laughing. FIGHT HARDER!
Skipping the juicy details (Do you really think I'd share with you everything about me? Ha! Double ha! Triple ha! Hahahahaaaaaaaaa!) Before your hentai mind starts working, nothing happened.
And uh, I'm kind of glad nothing did. This all new to me, you know? Last week I'd been calling him Kitsune to insult him and now... it's more of a pet name than anything.
Anyway, since the Tensai is feeling generous today, I'll ask for you advice again. What do you think should I do?
P.S. You're welcome. I know how much it gives you joy to know you gave advice to someone like me. When I make it big someday (which I'm very sure will happen), I'll give you an autograph.
The Tensai had been here,
Basketball Genius
Dear Basketball Genius,
That's not fair! You're leaving the juicy part out! I demand you tell me everything, down to the smallest detail. I'm more than interested to know all about it. ^_____^
I wouldn't have to be a genius to know how confused you are right now. Let's just say I'm using this gift that the gods above bestowed upon those who weren't born into this world as a genius called common sense.
You're confused as hell but don't let that stand in the way of true love! ~insert instrumental BGM~ Now that you're starting to realize you have feelings for him, you have to think really hard about what you want to happen next.
Do you want to confront him and talk about it? Or would you rather let things cool down for a while then confront him? Either way, there's no escape. You'll have to talk to him about it eventually.
But before you do that, you have to be prepared. You have to be sure of what you're feeling. You have to be really sure (as in 100% or more) about whatever decision you'll make. Are you interested in him or did everything just happen because well, you were caught up in the heat of the moment? You have to be certain you like him before you do anything else.
And if you're sure, super sure, as in there's no doubt about it that you like him romantically then I suggest you try talking to him. Confront him about what happened. Ask him if the feeling's mutual or was it just a kiss?
The answer may or may not be good but hey, you'll just have to accept it. But frankly, I don't think you'll have any problem. You don't grab your rival and kiss him breathless if you don't have even the smallest fragment of interest in him. But then again, he could've done that just to spite you. Oops, not that I'm saying he did just that. But who knows, right?
Just hang in there. Things will start looking good in a while. ^_^
Kate
Dear Kate,
This is my first time in writing this kind of thing. Hmm… my best friend's sister sent me a link to the site, I don't know how she knew about this. But anyway, I'd appreciate it a lot of you could offer me an advice.
You see, I have this best friend. We've been friends for about two years now. I know it's not that long but I feel like during all these years we've been friends, I've known things about him no one else knew and he knows a lot of things about me as well. But lately, he's been acting weird. Really weird.
I caught him looking at me strangely more than fifty times (or more) this week already. He started this strange metamorphosis (I like the sound of the word!) last week. We were the last ones to leave the locker room since we did a bit of cleaning that afternoon and while I was putting the brooms away, he was staring at me blankly, murmuring about something like "this happened in that fic" or something like that.
What's a fic?
And what does that have anything to do with him acting like that? Did I do something wrong? I know my friend's the kind who gets upset over the silliest things so maybe I did something (again) that ruffled his overly delicate feathers.
But that's not my only problem. I have this little secret even he doesn't know about. If he does then… at least I'd die young and good-looking; I won't have to die of old age, as he'd kill me with his bare hands.
Anyway, the thing is… I'm changing as well. I don't know when exactly I started feeling this way but I've come to the realization I have these feelings for him. No, they're not the same ones as for friends but you know, romantic feelings.
Will I be condemned to the deepest pits of hell for falling for my best friend?
It's just that slowly, he started to grow on me. I find his fiery temper really attractive and you should see him when he's all hot and angry. I had to run to the bathroom twice this week already. Oh, and that ass! ~licks lips appreciatively~
And he's really nice and warm, if you look past the occasional tantrums and threats for your life. Oh, and be sure to stay away from him when his sisters are within ten feet of him. A war is destined to ensue when that happens. Don't get me wrong, they all love each other but it's their weird way of showing affection. See? He's interesting! And he's smart too. Did I mention his ass?
Back to the problem, since I like him and I'm his best friend, I can't exactly make a move on him for various reasons. 1) The obvious: I'm his best bud—who the hell made it a rule that best friends are off-limits anyway? 2) His sisters will roast my beautiful behind (and I must be honest, it's one piece of art) since they entrusted the family's Golden Boy to me, 3) as stated previously, I'm his friend, the best one—so he knows my style. He'll turn me down even before I open my mouth.
See? I think it's hopeless to even have these feelings for him.
And I'm sure he won't hear any of it anyway. He's the type who doesn't believe in love. It's most probable he'll take the whole things as a joke or get mad at me. Or both.
So what do you think should I do?
Mooning over no. one amigo,
Ace Player
Dear Ace Player,
Is it just me or are there a lot of love problems going on? ^_______^
I think it's really sweet that you're in love with your friend. I'm kind of having a lot of that lately but anyway… you seem like the type who's been around. So having you ask me what to do feels, well, kinda nice. It shows that people like you are still human after all.
First bit of advice: Stop playing around. I'm not exactly sure what the 'player' in your sn connotes so I won't go into detail about that. But basing from what you've written, you're the kind who's almost never free. So if you really like this guy, first thing you have to do is be faithful to him. Cancel all your dates for the weekend (or even for the weekdays) to show him that you won't two-time him when you get together—if you get together.
Now, as for you feeling as if having him as your "boyfriend" is impossible, maybe, maybe not. But do keep this in mind: love conquers all.
Yuck. ~cringes~ I was possessed by my sappy sister's evil spirit that's why that came out. ^_^ But seriously, if you really love him, then all you have to do is be honest to yourself and to him. Tell him how you feel and prove him wrong about being a player.
And don't worry about his sisters. I'm sure they'll understand if you explain to them that you've fallen for their younger brother. It's not that hard, I'm sure. After all, they're girls and they'll understand that no man can stand in the way of true love. Again, I plead under the influence of my sister's disturbed spirit that's why lines like that keep popping out.
I hope I helped. Now remember, cancel that movie date for Saturday!
Kate
Dear Kate,
It's me, the former MVP turned gangster who turned back into being a b-ball player. I'm having problems concerning said love of my life.
I know you already told me to look past the fact that I'm way too insecure with regards to my teeth. But I can't help it. I love him, I think he feels the same way (at least I'm hoping he does). But I keep seeing his face, frowning and disgusted after finding out the truth about my teeth (or lack of).
During practice this afternoon, our hands accidentally brushed (Kami-sama, you still love your prodigal son after all!). And he smiled at me. He flashed me this knee-weakening, blinding, heart stopping smile of his, showing me his perfect, pearly-white teeth!
It reminded me of this little thing that's been keeping me from asking him out. So I kinda… panicked and ran away. I grabbed my pal (where he had drool pooling around his feet, watching the manageress) and poured out all the agony I was harboring.
Why does it have to be this way? Why does it have to be so hard just to be with the one you love? Am I not fit to feel love and happiness in the arms of the one I love? Why can't we just be together? Why do I have to go through hell and back just to have him enclosed in my loving embrace?
WHY THE HELL DID I HAVE TO LOSE MY TEETH?
Heart aching for his beloved's gentle embrace,
Most Valuable Player
Dear Mr. MVP,
You really should slow down with the soap operas, sweetie.
We've been through this. You have to start having more confidence in yourself. You can't let your teeth (or lack of) stand in the way of happiness. I've told you before that if he's really nice as you say he is, then it doesn't matter to him that you've got a few teeth missing.
From what I can see, you're afraid of being rejected by him because you're feeling as if you don't deserve him. And for what reason? Your teeth! Forgive me for saying this but you're definitely off your rocker.
Love doesn't work that way. If you really love someone, then you will find it in you to see past the flaws and imperfections the other has and love him or her as they are. You can't say you love that person if you can't accept the fact that he's got dentures instead of real teeth.
And from your descriptions of the guy you like (love!), he's the kind who'll accept you as you are. So stop feeling so low about yourself! Be strong. Forget about the fact that no matter how hard you brush your teeth, one or two of them will never be the same color as the rest. Wait for him to pass by and blind him with your own heart-stopping smile!
P.S. I'm serious about slowing down with the soaps. You're starting to sound more and more like someone who stepped out of the TV from said shows. It's scary.
Kate
Dear Kate,
I decided to keep you posted about how things are going with him and me.
I followed your advice… kinda. At least I didn't do it when I grabbed him while he showered. I've been wondering about how his lips tasted for a while now and finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to kiss him.
I guess you can say that the one to blame is my shrink. I told him to prescribe something stronger, he wouldn't listen. "You're on the road towards recovery. You'll be fine with these," he said. Stupid head doctor. I know better than he does. Hmm… maybe I should be a shrink instead. At least that pays big bucks. And all you have to do is sit on a chair, make your patient lie on a couch and doodle stuff while your patient rambles on and on about his imaginary friends and dreams of world domination.
But let's forget about possible future careers for now. Let's talk about him. God, I think I'm addicted to his smell. Do you know how good he smells? Even after a day of practice, he still smells so fresh. And his beautiful red hair… god, if I ever see anyone running their hands on those silken strands, they better be ready for an early death. I'm the only one allowed to touch him, anywhere.
Anyway, I kissed him. I was right. His lips tasted sweet. Nothing could be sweeter than his lips. Well, maybe there is something but that'll be rated pg-18 so I won't get into that. And his ass…! He's mine, got it?
You really won't understand why I'm feeling this way until you see him with his eyes closed, water showering above his head as he savored the after-kiss bliss. When he opened his eyes and the shock of what happened finally registered in his brain, I was still there, leaning against the wall and not caring that the water was drenching me.
His eyes widened in confusion and I merely smiled, making his eyes widen more. I crossed the short distance between us and gave him another kiss. After which, I walked out of the shower room, not bothering to change out of my wet clothes and rode my bike home. The kiss was enough to keep me warm not to catch pneumonia. Not that I cared if I did.
But of course, there's always something that'll spoil the lovely evening. I saw IDGI, can you believe my rotten luck? Her, of all people!
She smiled at me. I can practically see her spontaneously combusting with sheer ecstasy of seeing me. I wish she did. She waved toward my direction and I just continued riding my bike silently, ignoring her pitiful attempts of catching my attention. She should've been thankful I didn't acknowledge her existence. Otherwise I would've flattened her to the ground by running over her with my bike.
Oh, well. At least I paid attention to her that way. Is it just me or do I sense a lot of hostility coming from me towards her? Probably just the effects of after-kiss bliss. Me? Be hostile to anybody? I can't imagine.
Anyway, now I have this new problem. Now that I've conquered first base, do I move right into second or do I wait for a few more days to pass before I do?
Counting the days till homerun,
Super Rookie
Dear Super Rookie,
Again, remember that murder is against the law. I suggest you keep repeating that to yourself whenever IDGI is within a mile of you. I'm sure it'll help her live longer. Remember this equation:
WORLD – IDGI = PRISON. PRISON = SUPER ROOKIE – HIM.
Now, as for what thing that happened in the shower, which from now on will be called the Shower Scene, I think I deserve details. ^-^V Hehe. Just kidding. But you know, at least now I don't have to worry about him filing a lawsuit against you. ~sigh of relief~
As for future careers, I think I deserve to have a noble prize for advising you not to pursue one as a shrink. Please. Have mercy.
If you were planning on "conquering" second base anytime soon, I advise against it. I hope you won't take offense but you have to consider him too. To say he's probably shocked is an understatement. I would've needed an asylum if I were in his shoes. So if it's not too much to ask, do give him a bit of time and space to sort out his feelings.
Didn't you say before that he hates you? Or thinks he hates you? Believe me when I say he's confused as hell. Oh, btw, I agree with you, your shrink was definitely not thinking (or he's blind) when he said you're on the road towards recovery. Kick him real hard on the shin for me, okay? He deserves one.
Kate
Tbc
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