Author's Note: So sorry that this update took so long.  Just that the ending of the third chapter seemed extremely...well I felt like it wrapped up well but I do realize I left a million things un…wrapped up.  Another note, I don't quite remember when I decided to set this story.  Let's just put our duckies in their junior year at Eden Hall, shall we?  Enjoy~

I know you're in this room, I'm sure I heard you sigh

Floating in-between where our world collide

It scares the hell out of me

And the end is all I can see

I know the moment's near

And there's nothing we can do

   -Thoughts of a Dying Atheist, Muse

~*Radio Song*~

~*Chapter Four*~

"Do you feel as shitty as I do?" Charlie finally said, his voice muffled.  He could feel Adam nod. 

"Are you okay?" Adam ventured.  Charlie sighed, feeling the familiar sparks of anger inside of him but he let them go, there was no use in getting all pissed off anymore.

"I'll recover.  I think this shirt has proven itself again."  Adam laughed softly; the sound felt foreign.

"I'm not sure, it hasn't really been a walk in the park."

"But we're still alive and back here, aren't we?"  Back together, Charlie's mind added.

"Back together."  Charlie lifted his head in amazement hearing the words as if Adam had read his mind.  Before he could react, Adam yawned so widely that his jaw cracked. 

"Tired?"

"Let's just say I didn't sleep a lot," Adam said, with a wry smile.  He wanted to fall back onto his bed but he knew he'd smell Portman's faint smell of beer and cologne, and he didn't want that.  He wasn't ready yet.  Charlie sensed something was wrong and he tugged gently on his friend's arm.

"Whattya say we take a nap then deal with everything?"  Adam nodded.  Charlie wasn't his best friend for nothing; Charlie understood him and knew his feelings like no one else did.  Charlie let Adam sleep on his bed with him.  Slightly awkward initially, years of friendship and pure fatigue won over as they fell asleep, unknowingly clasping hands as they raced towards a dreamless sleep. 

~*~

/Charlie's POV/

It was as though suddenly the veil before my eyes slipped off and I finally could put into words, at least words in my head, what was confusing me so much.  Maybe it was the awful stuff that happened or the fact that when I woke up, in the space between Adam and me, our hands laid there on the pillow, clasped as though it was the most natural thing in the world.  All I knew was that I needed to say something to someone.  Naturally, the first person I thought of was Jesse but I couldn't call him.  The same weird feeling, partly sad, partly angry, came over me when I thought about one of my best friends locked up in some rehab center. 

Almost as fast as I thought of Jesse, Guy also appeared in my mind's eye.  Guy would be the best person to tell, if I could ever extract him from Connie.  Then again, I wouldn't mind telling Connie either but I could only handle one person right now.  As much as I didn't want to, I extracted myself from the bed and Adam rolled over to where I was lying and mumbled something incomprehensible.  It made me smile slightly.  Sleeping was probably the only time Adam looked his age.  He shouldn't always be barraged with whatever he worries about.

I took our lucky shirt off and put it at the foot of the bed for him to choose to wear or not when he woke up and left a can of Nesta Iced Tea, his favorite, on the bedside table and left the room.  As I padded down the hall, I realized I wasn't wearing shoes.  I swore under my breath but kept walking.  Guy's room wasn't so far.  I knocked, knowing fully well that this could all end in hell if I had judged Guy wrong. 

"Hey Charlie, you look like you got steamrolled or something."

"You're too kind," I said sarcastically.  "Look, got a minute?"  He opened his door wider and I stepped in.  Guy sat on the bed and I paced back and forth.  Three hours ago I was absolutely exhausted but now I couldn't even sit down.

"Okay, this might freak you out but you have to hear me out," I said, almost pleading.  Guy just sat, patiently waiting for me to say whatever I needed to say and take all the time I needed.  I silently thanked whoever gave Guy his patient genes. 

"Okay, well, I like someone.  A lot.  And I just realized this."  I waited again, stupidly, for Guy to say something like, "Julie?" or "Linda, again?  I thought you were over her."  I really don't give Guy enough credit for how smart he is.

"I like-" I stopped to catch my breath.  "Banks.  Adam Banks.  Banksie.  Cake-eater."  I stopped rambling.  Suddenly, I found myself considering going, "Ha-ha Guy, just kidding, you should have seen the look on your face."  Just as these words were starting to form on my lips, Guy said, in an exasperated tone of voice, "Of all the people man, Adam Banks.  If you guys weren't best friends I'd say he was out of your league.  It'll be hard to get you guys together."

"Wait, what?"  Not only was Guy taking this way too nonchalantly, he was offering to help hook us up…?  I was started to feel dumb, thinking maybe I blew it out of proportion in my mind.  Did it matter at all to Guy that I just found out I was gay, or at least bi?  I asked him this.

"Spazway, calm down.  I think you like who you like regardless of race.  There's really no such thing as sexuality."  I liked that answer.

"You were always the smart one."

"Well, yeah," he said, with a smirk.  "Banks, eh?  Well I won't say I didn't see it coming."

"Don't sound so smug," I said, slightly wounded at how wrong and stupid I was.  "And what do you mean he would be out of my league?"  Guy laughed slightly.

"I was just kidding Charlie.  Well actually maybe not.  He was voted top eligible freshman bachelor.  Even junior girls are looking his way."

"Well, they shouldn't," I muttered. 

"Don't worry, Charlie, you were number two."  I brightened considerably.

"Now," Guy said, all business.  "Let's figure out a way to fix this into a happy ending."  I sat down, finally, to hear Guy's "strategies."  I pushed away the face of Casey, crying slightly, or the pissed off look on David's face.  The familiar anger started fizzing at the bottom of my stomach but I concentrated fully on Adam.  He was worth it; they weren't.

~*~

/Adam's POV/

When I woke up, Charlie wasn't there but Portman was.  I couldn't stop my heart from speeding as I started to shake beneath the blankets.  He was just sitting on my bed, watching me sleep, I guess.  When I finally brought moisture to my mouth, I swallowed hard and found my voice.

"What are you doing here."  There, I didn't sound so scared.  But I was shaking so hard.  I think Portman could see. 

"Adam, I just…you're acting kind of weird.  This morning and stuff and I knocked before but you wouldn't answer.  You haven't been out of this room all day…" His voice trailed off.  I thought hard but couldn't remember answering the door for anyone but Charlie.  All I remembered was holding my head, feeling blood rush in my body, rushing out of me, making roses down my arms. 

"I'm fine Portman, I just don't want company right now."

"Charlie came back.  You don't mind him."  Was my mind playing tricks or was that bitterness in his voice?  What was his problem suddenly?  We barely knew each other, well up until yesterday night I guess but I couldn't think about that right now.

"I'd just appreciate it if I could have my alone time," I said.  When I get mad, I start biting my words. 

"If anything happened…last night, just tell me," Portman whispered, pleading.  I could barely stand to look at him anymore.

"Just get out."  When he hesitated, I almost screamed.  But he got up and took what seemed like an eternity to walk out of the room.  If anything happened?  No Portman dear, we just gossiped a little bit, told each other our life's dreams and went to sleep.  My mind cruelly replays what happened last night, Portman's hot breath, his weight crushing my hips and shoulders, his leering face.  My stomach rolls and I barely reach the bathroom in time before I throw up and empty the nothing I have in my stomach.

~*~

/Portman's POV/

I just have to break something, anything, everything.  I'm yelling and screaming, tearing down the hallways, pounding my fists on the walls.  I rake my knuckles along the rough walls until blood streaks the hallways.

I'm going at a wall furiously, pounding again and again, ignoring the building pain in my muscles when I realize Fulton standing next to me, looking at me, regarding me silently.

"What did you do," he finally said quietly.

"Nothing," I spat, and stuck the wall again.  I wanted the whole building to fall down and crush my bones into a chalky dust. 

"Like hell Portman, I know you.  When you drink you hurt people."  He pulled up his sleeve and I winced at the old scars and bruises of when I was drunk and I'd hit him and he'd just let me.  Because he loved me, I realize.

"And this time, it wasn't me.  Who was it Portman, who and what did you do."  His voice is so cold.

"Banks.  It was Banks."  I can almost feel Fulton calculating it.

"How bad."

"Bad."  I don't have to look at Fulton to know he's glaring at me.

"You should have just beaten me up.  I can handle it."

"I didn't beat him, Fulton, it was worse."    

"Don't tell me because if you did I wouldn't know how to kill you.  I know what happened."  I don't know how he knew but it must have been obvious from the way I was acting.

"And to think you called me all those names." He smiled but it was the cruelest, coldest smile I had ever seen.  That made me angry again.

"Don't say that.  I'm nothing like you."  I'm running again, running and screaming, tearing and breaking my hands until they're a bloody mess.  I want run back to tell Adam I'm sorry and I know everything that happened but my tongue feels severed.

~*~

/Adam's POV/  

I didn't want to tell Charlie about what happened with Portman yet but I did need to tell someone.  I bit on my thumb thoughtfully and reached for the phone and pulled the lucky shirt that Charlie left onto my lap.  Cradling the soft fabric, I punched in the number for Larson. 

Larson was probably my longest friend, since we were on the Hawks team together.  Who would have thought that he would turn out to be the kind of person he was?  I thought he was like everyone else, turning his back on me the second I put on that Ducks jersey.  He showed up at the hospital the night of the Pee Wee Championship games, pale faced and worried, standing next to Charlie, Jesse, and Bombay.  While I was in the hospital, I also found out that Larson went and beat up McGill pretty bad.  McGill, humiliated, ended up quitting hockey.  Larson went on to lead the Hawks to more championships. 

"Hello?" I recognized Larson's voice. 

"Hey." 

"Hey, how's my favorite cake-eater?" He sounded pleased to hear me.

"Shut the fuck up," I said, smiling.  "You're no more 'cake-eater' than me." 

"What's up, you sound tired." 

"I…I am.  It's been a long night.  I feel like I died.  Like I'm dead."  I could almost hear the click of his eyebrows as they rose in worry.

"Adam, what's wrong?"  His panic seemed to increase with my silence.  I didn't mean to agonize him; I just couldn't say.  Not right at this moment anyway.

"Please Adam, tell me." 

"Portman," I finally said, softly.  "It was Portman." 

"Adam you have to tell me everything.  Don't make me assume the worst."

"I don't have to."  A heavy sigh escaped my lips.  "It happened." 


"You're lying in the hospital deflowered with truncated limbs?" he said.  That initiated a small laugh from me.

"Okay, I guess you're right, it could have been worse.  But he tried."  Larson was quiet for a minute then said, "Which one?"  I bit my lip. 

"The first."  Larson sucked in his breath sharply on the other side of the phone. 

"That fuckingsonofabitchbastard I'm gonna kill him," he said.

"Larson, calm down.  He doesn't even remember it."

"What?"

"He was drunk.  He didn't know what he was doing."

"AND THAT'S AN EXCUSE?" he roared. 

"Larson!  Really, it's okay." I could tell he was contemplating on whether or not he should tell me the truth and that it's not okay or if he should go along with me.  He avoided it all together.

"How are you then."

"Hanging in there I guess."

"You don't sound too good."

"I don't feel too good."  After a minute of hesitation, I said, "I wish you were here."

"I wish I was there.  So I could kill Portman."

"I don't need saving," I reminded him.  He was a lot like Charlie.  They were headstrong, determined, confident, and had the tendency to baby me a lot.

"I know you don't, Adam, but I do know that you're too nice to actually go and beat the living hell out of Portman."  We talked for another couple of hours and Charlie had still not returned.  Finally, I heard Larson's mom calling him.

"Damn, I have to go.  I wish we could keep talking.  I'll call you again."

"Thanks, Larson, for everything you know."

"I know."  After a minute of silence, he said, very fast, "I don't want anything to happen to you Adam.  I…I love you."  Before I could react, he hung up.  I stood there, staring at the phone in disbelief.  Well, I am seventeen, I reasoned.  Maybe everyone had a love confession told to them when they're my age, or earlier.  About time right?  It's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that Larson…wasn't straight?  Maybe…maybe I'm jumping to conclusions.  Guys make a big deal about love in any context anyway.  He probably meant platonically.  I think.  

~*~

/Portman's POV/

 A/n: I sense some confessions coming up! And for those of you who don't remember, Larson was the Hawk who asked Adam if he was okay when he ran into the goal in the first movie.  McGill would be the big beefy jerk who, when Larson asked him what he did, said, "Just my job" or whatever, maybe not completely verbatim.  Just tell me if I got the names wrong or mixed up because that would be embarrassing ^^. 

Oh yeah, and suddenly it seems like the story has taken a fluffy turn, eurgh, but I guess a break is needed from all that suffering.

Thanks to: crazy4nc128 (ah, Portman is a bad boy but I do feel sorry for him…I don't know why, he's just so confused!), anne918 (wow, I feel so honored to have prominent people like you review, it's so flattering ^^), Andrea (sorry I made you wait so long!), denverhockygirl (thanks for the comments, I messed up with the portman/charlie/adam thing so people should be confused haha. I reviewed your handbook story, still wonderful I might add, I really love that story), Rinny2 (thanks!), and banksias-baby99 (sorry this update took forever!)