The hotel phone rang, so I reached out and grabbed it, hoping to shut up
the ringer before it woke Evie, who was sleeping on my chest. "Mulder."
"Mulder, it's Frohike. You left a message saying you needed our help with something?" Melvin sounded like he was barely able to contain his curiosity.
"Yeah, it's such a little thing I feel like I'm insulting you by asking, but I don't know who else to go to..." I paused for affect. "I need a birth certificate created, one that'll pass inspection. Maybe a social security card too."
"What about other things? License, credit cards, passport?"
"Nope, the person they're for doesn't need any of that stuff."
"You're right, this is easy... Let me grab a pen to take down the information. What do you want the birth certificate to say?"
"Say it was a home birth so there's no hospital records a suspicious person could look into. Name Evangeline Mulder. Born-"I paused and decided to make her a couple of days older than she was, to seem less suspicious. "- April twenty-eighth, two thousand and two. Father Fox Mulder."
"Is there something you've been meaning to tell us about your time away?" Frohike's voice was sly. When I didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer, he asked another question. "Who should I say the mother is?"
That stumped me, but then I had an inspiration. "Do you think you could make two different copies? On one list the mother as Dana Scully, but leave the other one blank."
"I'll make two copies, but some day you're going to tell me what this is for, Mulder. Whoever this kid is, I know she's not Scully's."
"When it's safe to say, you'll be the first to know." I promised.
"Is there really a baby?" Frohike asked suddenly. "Or is the paper work for something else?" He sounded amused by the idea of subterfuge, but who isn't?
Just then Evie began to fuss, flailing at me with tiny hands, and I'm sure Frohike heard her. "There's really a baby."
"Ah. Congratulations then, I guess."
"Thanks."
Of course I didn't do any of that stuff in my lurid daydream, what do you take me for? The sad little mental adventure did prove one thing to me, though. If we were going to be a family, it was going to have to be on Scully's terms. I was going to have to be patient. I don't know if you know this about me, but I've never been the world's most patient guy. It was going to be a challenge.
***
The hotel room was getting claustrophobic, so I decided to look for an apartment the next day. I suddenly wished that I'd kept up the lease on my apartment, since it was as much home as any place, but I'd had no idea how long I'd be gone. Even if it would have been nice to go back there, it wouldn't have been worth a year's worth of rent.
The Realtor seemed very taken by Evie, which sort of grated at me. Why couldn't Scully have been instantly charmed by the infant too? Of course the Realtor didn't know that Evie wasn't quite normal, and had never heard of super soldiers, so I suppose the difference lay there. For her part, Evie didn't care too much about the woman's attentions. Mostly she just yawned in the baby carrier as I lugged her from apartment to apartment.
The Realtor, a frumpy woman named Lydia, kept up a steady stream of chatter, that got on my nerves. She was the type of woman who seemed to think that friendliness entailed prying for details of your life so she could see what you had in common. As a guy with a lot of secrets, I didn't find this very charming.
"Are you a widower, Mister Mulder?" She asked, looking up from making faces at Evie.
"Actually no. My wife and our son are looking after her sick mother." The lie rolled easily off my tongue. "We didn't want the baby to catch it, so I'm taking Evie with me while I look for an apartment."
"How old is your son?" She looked slightly disappointed at the mention of a wife, and I didn't want to think about it.
"One."
She chuckled. "Didn't waste any time, did you."
"The wife's biological clock was ticking down. I'm sure you know how that is."
"Gracious yes. My three were all born the first five years I was married. I'm divorced now, though."
I nodded, ignoring the expression her face. "I like this apartment." I actually did. I was fairly spacious for DC. "But would the landlord really be ok with a month-to-month lease? I'm supposed to be transferred again before the end of the year, but it's up in the air as to when."
"Where will you be going?"
"England."
"That's so exciting. What do you do?"
"Advertisement."
"Ah. The landlord said that sort of arrangement suits him, so it shouldn't be a problem."
"Great."
"If we meet with him this afternoon, you should be able to move in the day after tomorrow."
"Let's meet with him then."
"Mulder, it's Frohike. You left a message saying you needed our help with something?" Melvin sounded like he was barely able to contain his curiosity.
"Yeah, it's such a little thing I feel like I'm insulting you by asking, but I don't know who else to go to..." I paused for affect. "I need a birth certificate created, one that'll pass inspection. Maybe a social security card too."
"What about other things? License, credit cards, passport?"
"Nope, the person they're for doesn't need any of that stuff."
"You're right, this is easy... Let me grab a pen to take down the information. What do you want the birth certificate to say?"
"Say it was a home birth so there's no hospital records a suspicious person could look into. Name Evangeline Mulder. Born-"I paused and decided to make her a couple of days older than she was, to seem less suspicious. "- April twenty-eighth, two thousand and two. Father Fox Mulder."
"Is there something you've been meaning to tell us about your time away?" Frohike's voice was sly. When I didn't give him the satisfaction of an answer, he asked another question. "Who should I say the mother is?"
That stumped me, but then I had an inspiration. "Do you think you could make two different copies? On one list the mother as Dana Scully, but leave the other one blank."
"I'll make two copies, but some day you're going to tell me what this is for, Mulder. Whoever this kid is, I know she's not Scully's."
"When it's safe to say, you'll be the first to know." I promised.
"Is there really a baby?" Frohike asked suddenly. "Or is the paper work for something else?" He sounded amused by the idea of subterfuge, but who isn't?
Just then Evie began to fuss, flailing at me with tiny hands, and I'm sure Frohike heard her. "There's really a baby."
"Ah. Congratulations then, I guess."
"Thanks."
Of course I didn't do any of that stuff in my lurid daydream, what do you take me for? The sad little mental adventure did prove one thing to me, though. If we were going to be a family, it was going to have to be on Scully's terms. I was going to have to be patient. I don't know if you know this about me, but I've never been the world's most patient guy. It was going to be a challenge.
***
The hotel room was getting claustrophobic, so I decided to look for an apartment the next day. I suddenly wished that I'd kept up the lease on my apartment, since it was as much home as any place, but I'd had no idea how long I'd be gone. Even if it would have been nice to go back there, it wouldn't have been worth a year's worth of rent.
The Realtor seemed very taken by Evie, which sort of grated at me. Why couldn't Scully have been instantly charmed by the infant too? Of course the Realtor didn't know that Evie wasn't quite normal, and had never heard of super soldiers, so I suppose the difference lay there. For her part, Evie didn't care too much about the woman's attentions. Mostly she just yawned in the baby carrier as I lugged her from apartment to apartment.
The Realtor, a frumpy woman named Lydia, kept up a steady stream of chatter, that got on my nerves. She was the type of woman who seemed to think that friendliness entailed prying for details of your life so she could see what you had in common. As a guy with a lot of secrets, I didn't find this very charming.
"Are you a widower, Mister Mulder?" She asked, looking up from making faces at Evie.
"Actually no. My wife and our son are looking after her sick mother." The lie rolled easily off my tongue. "We didn't want the baby to catch it, so I'm taking Evie with me while I look for an apartment."
"How old is your son?" She looked slightly disappointed at the mention of a wife, and I didn't want to think about it.
"One."
She chuckled. "Didn't waste any time, did you."
"The wife's biological clock was ticking down. I'm sure you know how that is."
"Gracious yes. My three were all born the first five years I was married. I'm divorced now, though."
I nodded, ignoring the expression her face. "I like this apartment." I actually did. I was fairly spacious for DC. "But would the landlord really be ok with a month-to-month lease? I'm supposed to be transferred again before the end of the year, but it's up in the air as to when."
"Where will you be going?"
"England."
"That's so exciting. What do you do?"
"Advertisement."
"Ah. The landlord said that sort of arrangement suits him, so it shouldn't be a problem."
"Great."
"If we meet with him this afternoon, you should be able to move in the day after tomorrow."
"Let's meet with him then."