THIS IS OTAKUDOM
FPI WARNING
The fic you are about to read contains scenes of actual otaku and their activities. Be advised that although the events depicted occurred at a specific place, they could easily happen at any convention. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU.
Fan Parodies International encourages the reproduction, distribution, and exhibition of this unauthorized work of copyright infringement.
Trowa: *at the movie premier* So far, so good…
Duo: SHIT! WE FORGOT THE FIC DISCLAIMER! *pulls out a piece of paper and scribbles furiously*
P.S.
The original fan parody belongs to Scott A Melzer & a Whole Lot of People at No. N. D. E. Also, the convention spotlighted has been changed from Otakon to Shoujocon. 99.9% of lines and actions are intact and they have been changed only where absolutely gender-ific-ly necessary or where we wanted to promote OUR favorite anime or where there was an inside joke or where someone else messed with their lines and actually made them funnier. Oh, and Tori has fixed a few parts that don't really lend themselves to type.
Revision by Trowa Barton & Duo Maxwell with a LOT of help from Tori.
^__~
Treize Kushrenada as Murray Cinemacher
Duet Maxine as Suzie Sweetrie
Duo Maxwell as Randy Wolfson
Wu Fei Chang as Andy Akshun
Tori Ichimura as Richard Hackard
Quatre Winner as Donny Gayeman
Heero Yuy as Steve Sweetrie
Trowa Barton as Murray Mettlegere
Relena Peacecraft as Jessie Bradt
Milliardo Peacecraft as James Bradt
Lucrezia Noin As Robert Deisschukker
Walker!!! as Jack
Rashid as Tyler
Marimeia Kushrenada as Chiriko
And
Lyra Koshima as Insane Richard Hackard Groupie
And now we're pleased to bring you our feature presentation.
Kermit The Frog: (as the Sesame Street theme song play over the Evangelion "ING" logo in the background) Today's fan parody has been brought to you by the suffix '–ing'. As in Violating, Copywriting…but also Forgiving and Not Suing.
Treize is sitting in his office, smiling. "Hi! I'm Treize! I'm a filmmaker. Perhaps you've heard of Citizen Lain…?
Lain is wired to a computer. She turns to face the camera and utters, "Rosebud…"
"Or What's THAT Eating Gilbert Grape?"
A samurai charges down a hallway and flings open a door to find a monster feasting upon a dead body. The monster looks up in surprise. "Arou?"
Treize stood proudly. "Those were mine." He continued on. "In 1984, I saw my first Japanese animation at my college's science fiction club. I remember being knocked out by it's animation quality!" He pushes a button and a nearby apartment complex explodes.
"Deep storytelling…"
Soldiers pour out of the complex and, also, out of Treize's building and start firing on each other in a display of horrible, bloody warfare.
"And vibrant characters."
There's a fan service shot of Duet stepping half-way out of the shower as air raid sirens blared. Back at the base, Noin and Lady Une do the same, followed immediately by a look at the women's barracks where the entire female squadron is showering..
Treize went on, seating himself neatly on the corner of his desk. "Seventeen years ago, Japanese culture was nearly unheard of in the United States. But now we eat their food."
Heero chows down nonchalantly on some ramen, focused more on the computer screen in front of him.
"We play their games!"
Duo, for the millionth consecutive time, loses to Gato while playing Gundam Wing Battle Assault as Deathscythe.
"We drink their beer!"
Quatre shakes his head sadly as he plucks empty Sapporo cans out of the hands of the five other comatose pilots sprawled about the living room.
"And we watch their cartoons."
Tori bangs her head against a conveniently near-by wall as the pilots settle down to watch Miyuki-chan In Wonderland for the eighth time that day.
"This influence is a lot more widespread than you think."
Sarah and Kat compare Guild message board stories with the aid of hand-made plushies of their favorite pilots. "Somewhere in Texas" flashes across the bottom of the screen.
Treize cleared his throat and continued. Across the country, thousands of anime fans, or "otaku" gather in small clubs-"
Wu Fei and Duo are stranded in the tree outside Wu Fei's window and pass the time reading Paradise Kiss manga.
"-and huge conventions."
Relena and Duet cling to each other, sobbing, amongst thousands of other otaku crammed into the "Strawberry" video room at the Shounen-Ai Love-In.
"So in the late spring of 2001 when I heard one such convention, Shoujocon, would be held in East Brunswick, New Jersey, I jumped at the chance (here Treize leaps to his feet) to make the documentary, the, if you will, Otakumentary (suave smirk) that you are about to see."
"I wanted to capture the sights…"
In Ballroom A, hundreds of attendees are captivated by the "What's This? (Shuichi's Question)" music video.
"The sounds…"
Chibi-chibi girl dressed in a DiGi Charat costume attempts karaoke. Even though the only Japanese she knows is 'kawaii!'. ((Duet: *spaztic twitching fit*))
"The…smells…"
Duo comes tearing out of the men's room, coughing and wheezing, and leans against The Pole to catch his breath.
"-of an American anime convention. And I got that. But I got more… A lot more…
"But, hey! Enough of my yakkin! As the fans say, 'Let's roooooooll out!"
Heero grins sadistically and hums the Transformers theme as his suit converts to bird mode.
As the spaceship Yamato cruises along in the background "No. N. D. E. Films Presents 'This Is OTAKUDOM" and below that "A film by Martin Cinemacher"
Duo: I believe after this fic we are BEYOND indebted to Tori…
Tori: What are you talking about?
Trowa: Well…
Tori: You're beyond indebted to me already!
Duo: *grumbles* How did we get pigeonholed into working with only ONE authoress…?
Trowa: Easy… Kurokawa pays her to keep an eye on us.
Tori: O___O SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *bashes Trowa with folding chair*