"...Are we ready yet?...Almost?...Alright...Just gonna straighten up my tie and make sure my hair's good to go...Looks good...Okay, we're all set now? Perfect, let's get started."
..."3"...
..."2"...
..."1"...
"...Good Morning Hell! This is Tom Trench with an amazing exclusive!" The current face of channel 666 News exclaimed with zest, before then gesturing to his surroundings, "As you can see both around and behind me not only are we at the quickly rising in notoriety Happy Hotel, but as of early this morning demons from all parts of our fiery home have flocked here to try and get residency, which thanks to the hotel's immense size and clear abundance of rooms, looks as though everyone who is currently here will get exactly that, but before we continue with our coverage we're going to head inside just to see how things are going!" He exclaimed before walking towards the doors.
Followed by his crew Tom Trench upon reaching the entrance would take a moment to push open one of the doors to let them in, everyone making sure to allow the cameraman to go first so he could get an establishing shot. And what a shot it was, the entire lobby though they personally had seen it only once before, was completely different and honestly felt like a brand new location altogether. Starting with the check in area Blitzo and Loona were frantically at work getting people signed in and giving them their rooms, the first floor excluded solely because that was where they and the others were living. But just next to the desk there was also Millie and Moxxie, who offered not only to show people the floors their rooms would be on, but also around the hotel once they were settled in.
Then you had the power duo of Lilith and Katie, who were doing their best to make sure everything was running smoothly, gotta use that experience as a queen/performer and news anchor somehow right? After them however you had Charlie and Vagatha, and where as her mom and Katie were ensuring that on their end everything was going well, they were attending to the still waiting guests to see if they needed anything. This left Lucifer, Angel Dust, and Cherri with the single most important job of all, standing by the Slayer as his bodyguards but obviously not for protection. For while their new guests weren't as bad as the demons he and Lilith ran into before, they still were gathering around asking for autographs, pictures, and all kinds of other things.
"Should we start over there sir?" One of the crew asked while pointing to the Slayer.
"No, too busy right now, we'll start with the princess and work our way around the lobby, hopefully by then things will be cleared up." Tom answered before stepping back in front of the camera, "As you can see folks the Happy Hotel is bubbling over with business! Although we have yet to interview its founder or any of the staff working currently, there's no denying that rooms are going fast, so if you want to try and secure a residency here you'd best do it soon!" He urged before then walking over to Charlie, "Excuse me princess!" He called as to get her attention.
"Hm? OH NO!" Charlie exclaimed wide eyed once she saw him, "I am SO sorry mister Trench er Tom, I completely forgot about the interview!" She apologized as he reached her and Vagatha.
"There's no need to apologize your highness, if anything I should be the one who's sorry, I
should've come here earlier before all these new guests flooded in." He replied.
"Still I should've remembered that you were coming, I would've done more to try and be ready." She insisted.
"How about you both just agree that you're sorry and get on with the interview? I'll handle the guests while you do." Vagatha suggested.
"You sure Vaggie?" Charlie asked as she didn't feel right about leaving her girlfriend to deal with the guests alone.
"Hon please, if I couldn't handle a bunch of rowdy demons I wouldn't have signed up for this." She answered causing her to smile.
Exchanging a quick kiss Vagatha would not only leave them alone but would also begin moving the guests away, as to ensure no one got a "funny" idea to disrupt the interview.
"Are you okay to speak now your highness?" Tom asked just to be sure. "Mhm, I'm ready to begin, where should we start?" She responded.
"How about you tell us and the people at home what kind of services are offered here at the hotel, as well as what checking in to be a guest fully entails?" He suggested.
"Okay, well as you all know the hotel's entire purpose is to rehabilitate the sinful in the hope that they can ascend to Heaven, however we here at the Happy Hotel know how difficult it is going to be for some people to give up doing what they love, whether that be heavy drinking, smoking, copious amounts of sex, or maybe even things like murder, and while there IS something else that we'll need to explain a bit later, it's best if we wait until my father and mother are free to discuss it alongside me." She started off before needing to take a breath to continue, "Refocusing on the hotel itself for now and to answer your question Tom, in order to become a resident at the hotel you must be willing to participate in the classes and programs we have here to help you be a better person, these will range from things like etiquette education, to showing restraint and not succumbing to overindulgence, exploring the deeper reasons behind your behavior and how we can help you move passed them, the list goes on and on." She explained.
"How exactly do you plan to help incentivize people to actually participate in these programs your highness? Do you believe the promise of a rent free residence is enough to have them swallow their pride or their personal objections to such things?" He asked.
"Of course not, like I said we know how much we are asking of our guests, we're not just asking you to try for a day or two but to begin a long and possibly slow road to redemption, as such while every guest will be required to participate in their assigned programs at least once a week, they will still have another six full days before they must do so again, and it's not like you are a prisoner here you can still go and do things in the city or go to your job if you enjoy the work or pay, alternatively you could also enjoy all of the luxuries we offer or if you're actually wanting to work as hard as you can towards redemption, then you can engage with the programs as much as you want, all we ask is that you show us you are trying even if it's small steps at first." She answered.
"What exactly are these luxuries? Do you mean things like free food and beverages? Or are there more extravagant luxuries as well?" He questioned.
"Yes we do offer free food and beverages, both at designated meal times of breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but we also have a wide selection of readily available snacks and drinks that are accessible
all throughout the day, so even if you're just wanting a quick bite or maybe a nice sweet snack we offer that, but beyond just free dining we also offer a full spa and salon experience, we have a recreational area full of games both traditional and digital, we have several pools to accommodate for the number of guests we hope to have in the near future, and a few other services and pass times to make everyone's stay as pleasant as possible." She clarified.
"Incredible! And all of these things are fully staffed correct?" He asked.
Unfortunately that was a question she was hoping he wouldn't ask, and as she began fidgeting slightly to try and think of a response he realized his blunder.
"Ah, I see." He said before putting a hand over his microphone and leaning in to whisper to her, "Don't worry your highness, we're not live, we'll edit that question out." He assured her.
"Oh thank goodness, thank you." She replied with a sigh of relief.
"We good to continue?" He asked his crew receiving a nod in return, "Okay, ahem, Incredible your highness! It sounds like the Happy Hotel is doing all that it can to live up to its namesake! From the accommodations being rent free and comfortable, to all of the luxuries to help residents ease into the programs and classes you have to help them get better, this truly is an unprecedented level of compassion that has never been shown before here in Hell." He praised her.
"Oh gee, thanks Tom." She replied as a small embarrassed blush came to her cheeks.
"So, is there anything else we should know before we move on to interview some of the other active members of your staff? Or would you like to continue explaining everything yourself?" He asked.
Taking a moment to consider that she found herself looking over to Vagatha, and while the tough as nails Latina was easily dealing with the guests, she still felt guilty about leaving her all by herself.
"Well, if it wouldn't be too much trouble I would like to get back to attending to the guests, again if that's alright." She answered.
"Of course your highness! We'll move on to speak with your mother and...Katie...so you can get back to your needed duties." He replied, truly struggling to say his former co anchor's name without sounding scared.
Smiling to show her gratitude she would hurry over to her girlfriend's side to assist her, leaving Tom and his crew standing there for a few moments so he could settle his nerves.
"You alright sir?" One of the crew asked as he took in a few deep breaths.
"Yup, I'm good, just needed to make sure I was ready." He assured as he loosened his shoulders.
As prepared for another confrontation with the bane of his existence as he would ever be, as Tom approached her and the queen he hoped that because there so many people, and that this seemed to be her job now or something to that capacity, that she would be entirely professional. Thankfully much to his joy that was the case, for once both women saw him approaching shit put on that fake as fuck smile of hers, which was all he needed to see to know how she was going to behave.
"Tom! So good to see you again!" She greeted as she walked over and gave him a hug, which honestly for a moment made him stop breathing, "I know it must be PRETTY shocking to see me of all people back again huh?" She asked while maintaining that smile.
"Uh, yeah, we should probably talk about that later so everyone in Hell won't be confused right?" He asked nervously.
"Ha ha ha ha...no." She told him as serious and as bluntly as possible, even going so far as to drop her fake act for a moment before returning to it, "But anyways lets not talk about me, lets talk about the hotel and everything it has to offer! Unless of course you've already done that with Charlie?" She asked.
"That we have Katie, which is why we were hoping you and her majesty could instead fill us in on how you plan to encourage people to give the hotel a chance? Most people especially the noble class and the Overlords, even with the events of last night's broadcast in mind, are not only going to refuse to humor it but might even actively oppose it." He responded.
"Katie, may I answer this question personally?" Lilith asked, to which Katie nodded and stepped back to give her the camera's full focus, "Up until now me and my husband have done nothing to stop our people from acting the way they do, though we have services such as utilities and emergency responders we lack any kind of law enforcement, the main reason people don't loot stores or burn down buildings constantly is because nearly everything is owned by a gang, a company or corporation, is invested in or founded by nobles and Overlords, the list of reasons goes on, however in light of the last few days and the arrival of the Slayer, whose name everyone should know after last night, we have come to realize our lack of participation and enforcement of order has been one of our greatest errors, and so we will be changing that effective immediately." She explained.
"Your majesty, are you implying that you will be instating an official police force finally? To deal with not only the rampant crime that has been an everyday norm of our lives but also to try and punish even those in positions of power?" He questioned.
"What? No, that would take FAR too much time and resources to even get it going, what I meant precisely was that any crimes that go beyond simple theft, assaults, or first time offenders of domestic abuse, will be met with the full force of not just the Slayer but also the royal family, keep in mind this is not earth, there is no complicated red tape or pointless trials, if you are caught in the act you will be killed on sight, or be captured and then brought in to be used for a public execution." She clarified with a smile.
Falling silent for a moment as her completely casual and even seemingly cheery way of saying that was unsettling, she would take a step back and allow Katie to handle it from here.
"Thank you Lilith, I'm sure everyone including Tom here is so glad to now know what is going to happen to them if they continue to be assholes!" She exclaimed as she clasped her hands together, "But now let's talk about something with just a little less bloodshed, but not too much of course!" She suggested laughing at her own joke.
Laughing along with her as they feared what would happen if they didn't, Katie once again freaked out her former co anchor by placing a hand on his shoulder and gripping it tightly.
"In fact, I think what everyone would like to see is a tour of the hotel! No doubt Charlie already shared with you everything we have to offer! But it'll still make for good footage, so let's go!" She insisted before basically dragging him away.
"This...this is going to be a real tour right?" Tom asked her slightly concerned, whispering it so the mic wouldn't pick it up.
"Guess you'll just have to wait and see now won't you?" She asked with a devious smile.
Feeling as though his soul was about to leave his body, the truth was Katie had no real intentions to harm him or do anything else that could damage their PR. She was only saying that just so she could mess with him a little more, but she would make sure to give a proper and well informed tour of the hotel, at least as best as she was able. Which honestly was a good thing, because with the amount of people still in the lobby this would give everyone, especially the frantically working
Blitzo and Loona who were still manning the check in desk, plenty of time to get things more under control.
"WHERE THE FUCK IS HUSK?!" Both of them shouted angrily, as he and Nifty still hadn't come back.
.
.
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"I Think we should get back out there..." Nifty said, as she managed to hear their angry shout even with all the other noise happening in the lobby.
Though both Husk and Nifty had been honest with the queen of Hell when they said they'd do their jobs, they still hadn't been entirely truthful with her and the others. And the reason for why was opposite of them as they all stood near the middle of the room, an equal distance away from both the lobby and kitchen doors.
"Eh, I'm not in a hurry, better they deal with that shit than me." Husk replied before crossing his arms, "Though I would like to know a few things from you." He said as he looked to Alastor.
"But of course, that's why we're all in here, so no one can hear this little discussion between us." He replied.
"Alastor, can I ask you something?" Nifty inquired as she too looked to him. "Yes you may." He assured politely.
"You're not planning to do anything...well ya know...EVIL with that potion right?" She asked, "I mean even if we ignore the Slayer and everything, I don't want the others to get hurt." She added.
"Yeah, I was thinking the same question." Husk admitted.
"My dear Nifty and Husker, do you REALLY think I am the type to do such a nefarious thing? To hide in the shadows concocting an evil scheme behind the veil of a gentleman?" He asked.
"No./Yes." Both of them answered at once, neither response surprising him in the slightest.
"Even if the Slayer weren't here and we were just helping poor sweet Charlie, I wouldn't ever think to do something so heinous, I might be sadistic, maniacal, and sometimes a little messy, but above all of that I am a gentleman who values manners, and I believe even if you are to formulate schemes for your own personal entertainment, which I fully admit to being guilty of even now, I would never do anything that would ruin all that we have achieved thus far, or what we hope to achieve moving forward, and I say that with my word and honor as a well mannered demon being put on the line." He told them.
Although Nifty immediately believed him Husk chose to consider his response for a few seconds, as he wanted to be certain this wasn't just some fancy schmancy bullshit. And while he did just out
of spite want to try and get a rise out of him by calling him a liar, from his own experiences in life and death, combined with the amount of time he's known and worked with this guy, he knew for a fact he was being honest with them.
"...Alright fine, so you're not trying to fuck everyone over, at least we know that for certain." He relented, which caused Alastor's smile to grow wider, "However, with that being the case you having this weird truth telling potion makes no sense, not only because I can't figure out why you'd want it if not to do something stupid, but also and correct me if I'm wrong here, you can't make fucking potions at all, or if you can you're not very good at it." He said.
"That is correct, while I have dabbled in the art of potion making a few times, sadly it seems I am more skilled in the kitchen than I am with any kind of supernatural brew..." Alastor replied with a fake frown and disappointed sigh, only to have his normal smile return right after, "But...I happened to run into someone who knows quite a lot about the craft...some might even suggest that she's unrivaled..." He said mysteriously.
Confused yet curious as to who he was referring to, Husk and Nifty would have their attentions be drawn to the kitchen door as they heard it being pushed open. But when they looked to see who was doing it, they felt their eyes go wide and their jaws go low, as the LAST face they'd ever expect to see again peeked out from behind it.
"D-Do you want me t-to come out now?..." Velvet asked timidly.
"What...the fuck...are you THINKING?!" Husk shouted angrily at Alastor as he pointed at her, "Why the FUCK is she here?! Do want this place to turn into a FUCKING war zone or something?!" He questioned.
"Now now Husker, there's no reason to get so worked up, isn't that right Velvet?" Alastor responded as he looked back to her.
Choosing to come out and walk over to them before she said anything more, as she got closer Husk and Nifty were shocked once again, but this time for a slightly lesser reason. Velvet was known throughout Hell as one of the most energetic and truly insane demons ever seen, she could even rival Nifty for how excited she could be over the most random things. But now as she stood before them, it seemed like she had become a completely different person. No longer did she have a smile much like Alastor's on her face, she looked scared, upset, and did her best to avoid any eye contact with any of them.
Then there was how she was standing and that too had drastically changed, instead of trying to be cute or expressive in any way she had her arms and legs as close to her as she could, and even while trying to be still she couldn't keep from fidgeting nervously. Yet in light of what she had been through, even though she and the other two now deceased Vs fully deserved it, both Husk and
Nifty did feel a little bad for her.
"T-That's right A-Alastor..." She said, her apparent stutter no doubt also caused by that experience, "I-I'm not going to c-cause trouble, I d-don't want anymore trouble..." She assured.
"See? Velvet here has learned the error of her ways, and seeing as how she was the only survivor of-" Alastor paused for a moment, not saying the "S" word as she was already getting upset from it just being eluded to, "...Our friend's recent cleansing, I thought that I could personally oversee her rehabilitation." He explained.
"From that alone I can already tell this is a fucked up and incredibly shitty idea..." Husk told him.
"Now now, I'm not doing anything to her like treating her as a slave, you KNOW how much I do not care for such behavior..." Alastor said very seriously, even taking a moment to stare him down as he did, "But she can be of use not only to me but the hotel as well, as shown from how effective this first potion of hers was." He explained.
"Oh, that makes sense, that you made the potion I mean." Nifty said now looking to Velvet.
"Y-Yeah...I'm really g-good at potion making...j-just like Alastor s-said..." She replied while backing away a little bit.
"Mhm, which is why she will be making potions for us to serve to the hotel guests, of course none of them will come close to being considered poison, or transformative, or anything else like that, but if we're going to do all we can to make sure the hotel and the reformation of Hell is a success, we must take every advantage we can get." Alastor explained.
"Then how come you're not filling in the Magnes about this, or ya know, the man who is literally carrying an entire fucking armory in his high tech future suit?" Husk asked.
"Because my dear, sweet, naïve Husker, while I am fully committed to helping them if we just stand around and wait for them to make any significant leaps in progress we'd be here for a VERY long time, it's exactly why I've been giving them little helpful pushes here and there." He answered.
"...Wait...what?" Husk questioned with widened eyes, honestly scared at how long he's been doing this kind of shit.
"But that's another discussion for another time, right now we're here to talk about Velvet's potion, and how it could use some work." He said moving passed that topic, "You see dear, while your potion did as I asked in making miss Killjoy be honest for once in her life, and it rendered her unconscious as I also requested, unfortunately that latter effect happened far too quickly, I need the incapacitation of the potion to not happen so fast, it must feel more like a natural drowsy spell coming over the consumer." He explained.
"D-Do you still want it t-to look, smell, and t-taste like strawberries?" She asked.
"Why of course, no point in giving the guests truth telling potions if they don't taste good, we might be sneaky but not at the cost of doing so with anything less than quality sneaking tools." He answered.
"I lived a long life as a human, lived an even longer life down here despite the yearly exterminations, and yet this is by far the shadiest shit I've ever seen or been a part of." Husk admitted.
"Oh! Oh! Alastor!" Nifty exclaimed as she raised her hand and began waving it. "Yes Nifty?" He inquired.
"Can she make a potion for me too?" She asked.
"Why the fuck do you need a potion?" Husk questioned.
"Personal reasons shut up!" She answered quite defensively, which was a surprising thing for the small woman.
"Hm, now I'm intrigued, tell you what we'll discuss that later in private so you can give me the details, afterwards I'll make a decision, sound fair?" Alastor offered.
"Mhm! Thank you!" She replied with a smile.
"C-Can I go now?" Velvet asked while looking off to the side, "I-I don't feel comfortable b-being here, I know h-h-he's here t-too..." She explained.
"Of course, you've done well so far Velvet, just make sure to tinker with the potion okay?" He requested earning a small nod from her.
Watching as the now traumatized Overlord went back to the kitchen, presumably to leave through another exit, Alastor faced his companions once more.
"Now then, unless either of you have anything left to say I believe we can rejoin the others now." He said, to which both shook their heads, "Wonderful! Then let's get going!" He insisted as he headed for the lobby.
Following behind him the trio would step out of the dining hall and see the current state of the situation, and to be honest it was pretty much exactly what they expected. By this point most of the people had finished being checked in and given rooms with only a few stragglers left to take care of. Also Katie had returned a bit sooner with Tom Trench and the news crew, due to the fact she underestimated just how big this place actually was and did not feel like walking all the way through it. All of this combined together to make the current spectacle that was unfolding before them, where both the news crew and the new guests surrounded the Slayer.
"Oooh! We arrived just in time for the best part!" Alastor exclaimed excitedly before walking over to get a better view.
"Whelp, guess I'll-" Husk began to say, only to be silenced as a bottle flew through the air and hit him in the head, knocking him out cold.
"THAT'S FOR FUCKING LEAVING US HERE ALONE ASSHOLE!" Blitzo and Loona both
shouted at him from the desk, effectively startling the demons still in line.
Looking down at the now unconscious avian feline, which seemed like karma after what he had served Katie earlier, Nifty before doing anything else decided to clean up the broken glass and spilled alcohol from the bottle, as she could not stand the thought of letting a stain set in.