Disclaimer: Don't own. Stop bugging me.
Thanks for all the reviews! They really made my day! :D Anyway, here are some replies to a few...
blindinglove: *thoughtful look* How did you know I was an Asian?
daichi: Yeah...now that I think about it, my main plot is similar to that of Ranma 1/2. But with a few added twists, that is.
Lily and James Potter and Kit Kat: Theodore, huh? Sorry, still haven't read the fifth book. And if they mentioned it in the first 4, forgot about it... ^_^''
Chapter Three: As Dense As Potter
Draco smiled smugly at his success in rendering all the 3 stooges speechless. He shifted the backpack on his right shoulder as he entered the dungeons in high spirits. He was too pleased with himself that he had accidentally bumped into someone's chest when he rounded the corner. The Slytherin took a step back to remain on his feet.
Draco looked up to give a heated glare towards the other but his stare softened once he realized whom it was. "Oh. Sorry, professor. I'm not late for class, am I?"
Snape blinked as he looked at the familiar shade of blonde on top of the student's head. "Draco?" he asked, taken aback.
Draco raised an eyebrow, "You know, I've received that look a lot this morning."
"Finally! I've been looking for you!" the Potions Master let out a relieved sigh. "I didn't see you at the Great Hall so I was about to go down to your dorms," he explained. Then he led themselves to his office so the passing students wouldn't overhear their conversation.
Draco took a seat in front of Snape's desk. "About last night? Well, you see, the weird thing is - "
Snape cut him off with a wave of his hand. "I've narrowed down the possibilities into three," he stated. "Out of the possible outcomes of those potions added together, only three resulted in the change of one's gender."
"So...?" Draco said with a questioning look. "Wait! How did you know the effect?" he exclaimed.
Snape coughed. "Um..." he then wordlessly pointed to his grandson's chest.
Draco glanced down then furrowed his eyebrows as realization slowly sunk in. So that's why people gave him strange looks...and Neville wasn't gay, after all. Draco then sighed exasperatedly. So that's why the Gryffindors didn't have any comebacks. Damn. And he was so hoping to rub his success in their faces once he saw them again, too.
"Oh," Malfoy said blankly. Then he made several hand movements as he put everything together. "So that's why -! And - ! Oh..." he trailed off.
"Yes, that's why," Snape smirked. Potter wasn't his only dense student, after all.
"Right. Okay, continue."
"Do you happen to have any horrid blisters growing on you?" Snape asked, shifting the pile of papers on his desk.
"No."
"You didn't happen to have any sexual urges to jump on any of your room mates to kiss them senseless and..." Severus trailed off then coughed. "You know..." The thought itself scared him to no end, but there wasn't any harm in asking, right?
Draco made a gagging face. "Hell no!" he shouted back, shocked by the mere fact that his godfather even asked that question. "It'll be a cold day in hell for me to have even the slightest _hint_ of attraction to any of my dorm mates, whether as a side effect or not!"
"Okay, okay," Snape held his hands up. "I got the point already." He then muttered things along the lines of women and that time of the month.
"Good," the blonde haired boy said as he calmed down and rested his head on the heel of his palm. "Can you explain to me why I didn't change last night?"
"Right. The potion only takes place during daytime so otherwise, you remain the same," Snape explained.
"So why did I change back after washing my face?"
Snape scanned his papers. After several seconds, he looked up and asked, "Was it warm or hot water?"
Draco put on a thoughtful look as he recalled. He nodded, "I think so."
Snape nodded. "It says here that warm or hot water can change you back, but for only an hour."
"What do I have to do to cancel out the potion?" Draco asked.
"I've researched on that already," Snape replied then frowned. "But it takes 5 months to make it."
"What?!" the boy-turned-into-girl exclaimed as he stood up and banged his fist on the table. "5 months as a fucking girl?!"
"Watch your language," Snape reprimanded. He checked his watch. "We better go to Dumbledore's office before I lose more time for Potions."
Draco fumed. "That old git?! What'll he be able to do?! Give me candy to make it all better?!" He then continued on about the other sick meaning for Headmaster.
After a few protests and many curses here and there, the two finally reached the entrance to the Headmaster's office. Draco gave the gargoyle a weird, hateful glare as if blaming all the events on it. Panting and slightly bruised, Snape coughed out the password, which happened to be Gryffindor. Hm...Imagine that. The gargoyle jumped out of the way to reveal a staircase leading up.
Still quietly muttering, Draco painstakingly stepped on one step at a time, fearing the worse. Snape was just glad that the boy had stopped using violence in hopes of avoiding this meeting. He unconsciously rubbed the sore part at the back of his upper arm. After about a minute, the pair stopped at the landing, in front of wooden double doors.
"Come in," came a strained voice from the other side.
Snape opened one of the doors then entered, promptly followed by Draco. The two took seats in front of Dumbledore's desk.
"I'm taking that this is Draco?" Dumbledore asked with that annoying twinkle in his eyes. Draco suddenly wondered to himself if their Headmaster had light bulbs behind those.
Snape nodded. "I've already explained everything to him."
"Good," Dumbledore replied. He reached over to a drawer on his desk and opened it. Draco already knew what he was going to offer.
"Care for a lemon drop?" he asked, offering a bowl of assorted sweets.
Draco's right eye unconsciously twitched several times. "No thank you," he replied with a hard face.
"Severus?" the Headmaster turned to Severus, having that awful twinkle in his eye again. It took everything out of Malfoy to not punch him for being so damn happy all the time.
"I'd rather not," Snape replied, eyeing his student, who appeared to be twitching violently. He gave the copy of the potion to the old man.
Dumbledore failed to notice the anger in the blonde's eyes and expression. He kindly left the bowl on his desk, as if the two visitors were going to get from it. He quickly scanned through the parchment before saying, "I see that the cure takes 5 months to make..."
"Tell me something I don't know," Draco said grumpily.
"So the potion has already started having it's effects..." Dumbledore thought out loud. His eyes seemed like they
Draco glared. "Just tell me what I'm supposed to do so I can leave!" he snapped.
~*~
Draco let out a heavy, relieved sigh as Snape closed the door to Dumbledore's office behind them. Wordlessly, the pair walked down the set of steps then past the stone gargoyle, which jumped back into place.
"So..." Draco pondered the meeting earlier and recalled what Dumbledore had said, much to his annoyance.
He was supposed to be an exchange student from some unnamed magical school far, far away. He is a cousin of himself, who just happened to look a lot like a female Draco Malfoy. He snorted at that thought. He was also given his own room to "give her some privacy", when it was really to prevent his snooty Slytherin housemates from seeing him change back to himself.
"We're here," Snape said, stopping in front of the Potions Classroom. "Just try not to act like Draco Malfoy," he added as a reminder.
Draco raised an eyebrow. "I'll see what I can do."
Snape sighed, knowing that he wouldn't do much. He opened the door and entered, followed by Draco. The door slammed shut, making everyone in the room stop what they were doing and turn their attention to the two.
Draco twitched. He hated those stares.
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Okay...This chapter officially sucked ass...*shrugs* Just wanted to make everything clear before I go back to writing down my pathetic excuse for humor...^_^ They'll have their Potions Class next chapter.
But review anyway, please? *puppy dog eyes*