A/n Runs up to the computer looks lovingly at the keys and promptly faints.  No joke I have not been on the computer since Sunday other then to do homework and coursework!  My teachers are out to get me with all the work!  No joke!  In fact everything is out to get me!  The rain, I get off a bus and it starts pouring honestly!  And me being well me have my rain coat in my bag and as my house is 5minute walk away from bus stop I think 'nah can't be bothered' I am now completely soaked my hair is all wet, but I decided to change and post a chapter for you- before a family member gets here who will nick my precious!  Damn teachers, damn weather and damn friends for making me stay after school and wait for them I missed time when I could actually have been on this lovely machine that brings hours of joy to every one in the world (other then when it's messing around when you're trying to do really important work) Oh and look at that it's conveniently stopped raining *glares*

Little Elf

Chapter Eighteen

13th Afteryule 3017

"Stop it" Elle muttered to herself wiping a tear away from her eye "I will see them again, I will."

*Who are you kidding?  You don't have anything left*

"No, that's not true!  I know it's not."

"What's not true?"

Elle turned to see Mithglin grinning at her, though his expression quickly changed when he saw she was crying, "What is wrong?"  He asked sitting next to her on the branch.

"It's nothing," she said wiping her salt covered cheeks "I'm fine, honestly."

Mithglin looked at her disbelievingly.  Elle's hair was dishevelled, eyes were rimmed red with red blotches across her cheeks where she had fiercely rubbed the tears away, her eyes, darker then usual, all told a different story.

Mithglin gathered her in his arms reassuring her "I can feel it.  You're hurt spiritually.  You miss home don't you?"

There was a slight nod for the affirmative.  "You shouldn't try to deal with this on your own.  I knew there was something wrong yesterday  .  It's gotten worse since then hasn't it?"

"Yes, I miss homes.  I miss my friends and family.  They don't know where I've gone I could be dead.  I could be dead and they wouldn't know."  Elle sniffed "I can't handle it here."

"Shhhh, it will be fine."

"No it won't!  I don't belong here!  I belong somewhere else, a different world!"

Mithglin misinterpreted her words "Your home can't be that different from here.  There are no men but-"

"No, it's not that.  Don't you see?  It's a completely different way of life.  For gods sake, I'm being taught how to kill!"

"and that upsets you?"

"Yes it does.  I'm not that kind of person.  I don't think I could if I had to kill someone.  Whether it be orc or rabbit."

"Not even if it was you or them?"

"What's one orc?  I kill it and wait there's already another three ready to get me!  I couldn't kill a rabbit.  It's an innocent life I couldn't, no I wouldn't take a life away like that."

"I've seen you eat meat."

"I'm fine with that, when it's cut up and seasoned and doesn't resemble its original form at all."

"If you don't kill the rabbit something else will."

"How can you think like that?"

"I don't.  I'm just trying to give you the other side.  Nature is a balance.  Of good and bad, of right and wrong, of life and death, of love and hate.  You have to work out where you are in that balance."

"But what if my coming here has unbalanced it?"

"What if your coming here has evened it out?  Living our lives with what ifs is a pointless never ending cycle that can take us all the way back to 'what if I hadn't been born?' or 'what if middle earth hadn't been created?' do you see where I'm going with this?"

"Yes, it doesn't mean I can't wonder.  I've been thinking about my family.  We didn't leave in the best way.  I mean, I didn't say good-bye or even leave a note.  I just vanished with the clothes on my back.  They could think I'm dead.  I don't want to put them through that."

"But you already have.  When did you leave?"

"2nd October.  I arrived her on the 1st December."

"It took two months to get here.  You've been here nearly 2 months.  They wouldn't have seen you for nearly 6 months if you left now."

"I know.  I can't even go back.  Not now anyway.  It's not possible I've got to leave them enough time to marry and I have to of course learn how to kill."

"Have you told Celeborn how much you hate it?"

"No."

"Don't you think you should?  You shouldn't think of I like that.  You are learning to defend yourself form something that is doing you harm."

"But-"

"You are defending other people from being hurt through learning that you have died or been mortally wounded."

"Like who?"

"Like me" Mithglin answered hugging her closer

"Thank you." Said Elle looking up at him

"For what?" he asked brushing a tear of her soft skin

"For being so supportive, for being you."  She kissed him on the cheek

"Being a healer isn't just about physical pains you know."

"Are you saying that you only helped because you're a healer?"

"No, I helped because you are a friend."

"I'm going to have to ask you a favour."

"Ask away."

"You are going to have to keep me occupied.  I'm dangerous when left to my own thoughts."

"I believe I can help." He answered smiling resting his head on hers.

A/n Wells there you have it, on a very happy note I have a three-day weekend so you'll get an update on Monday yay. 

I have to say thank you for all your wonderful reviews.  They cheered me up on Sunday when I was trekking through my pile of homework.

Rogue solus: I knew I was sane!  People do have arguments or conversations with themselves, or the little voices in their heads.

KindCalypso: I managed to get on to your story!  I will go and check for an update after I have posted this!  School works going fine, there's a lot of it but well what do I expect?  I miss the Easter holidays! 

Ciarolas:  I'm really sorry I bent your top out of shape, but if you were wearing a straight jacket where did you get the top?  Twiglets?  Lol have you thought about glasses?

939597:  Celeborn isn't in this for a few chapters *resounding "ahhhhs" Galadriel is in the next one though.  I don't know if that will cause you joy or not.  Some people just don't like Galadriel, I think that's all the films fault, she wasn't that bad in the books, I don't think.  I'm rambling.  I hope you were patient! Lol

Sokochan:  A little depressing?  What about this one?  They shouldn't be like that for a long time, or maybe never I dunno it depends on my mood when I write the chapter(s) You're going to steal Celeborn?  Just make sure I can have him back for the story otherwise you can do whatever (remember I need him back so that he can at least talk, otherwise you can have your way with him) I'm sure Galadriel won't mind (yeah right) Ents and Elle interacting?  How did you find out my secret????????  Lo.  Yes Mary did get her medication some other way, don't worry.

Hana: Internal arguments?  Dialogues they can quickly escalate into the same things, at least in my mind they can.  I have to choose between white chocolate or milk chocolate! A hard decision indeed.  Is Elle ever going to tell Haldir her true origins?  Yes you are right you're not going to get a direct answer to that, though someone does find out!

Lunar Shadowsong:  I hope your head doesn't hurt!  I wonder fi this counts as updating soon!

Wells see you all on Monday

Gwilwileth