Disclaimer: Same as previous chapter

Rates: PG-13, yaoi, fluff, bad humor, 1x2, 3x4, 9x13

Notes: I got a good review so here's another one. ::sigh:: I'll just post the whole series even if I don't get any more reviews and they all end up flames. I've got no life. X.x Plus it'll make me feel better than I've completed a story. I'm sure experienced writers would understand. ^.^

The Horrors of TV Part 6

Sasami ran along the flower fields holding Ryo-Ohki. Her best friend, Yugi was laughing and hopping along side her.

"Where are we going, Sasami?" Yugi asked.

Sasami giggled. "It's a secret silly!" They ran along the fields until they came upon a single tree. Sasami tapped into the side and a hole big enough for them to fit opened.

"Wow..." Yugi sighed. She followed Sasami inside and there were thousands upon thousands of colored rubber circles flying back and forth.

"I don't remember these being here..." Sasami pointed out. Then the rubber circles flew up and decapitated them.
Duo shivered in the kitchen. His foot was still lodged in the refrigerator. "I w-w-w-wonder if th-th-that's a big s-s-s-s-secret to the Cons-s- spiracy."

Wufei barged in the door with Sally Po behind him. Duo sighed with relief. He had been waiting there for about 3 hours!

"Hi Duo," Wufei waved. "Move your foot. I want food."

Sally picked up a crowbar and pried Duo's foot loose. "Duo, you need to be more careful." Duo nodded, his lips were like ice. Shakily he stumbled out of the kitchen. Sally turned to Wufei. "Now what is this about we don't have any food left? Treize went to the store just last week."

"We have no more Fortune Cookies." Wufei complained. Sally sighed.

"Wufei, they're in the cupboard." She opened the doors and a stash of Fortune Cookies was piled in it.

Wufei blinked. 'FORTUNE COOKIE!" He dived into the cupboard and Sally backed away.

"I'll... just leave you and the cupboard alone for the time being...." She started towards the door, but turned around. "Wufei?"

"Nani?" he mumbled between mouthfuls of cookies.

"How come you asked for my help when you act sexist all the time?"

Wufei stared at her, blinked and shrugged. "I don't know." Then he went back to stuffing his face. Sally shrugged and left.

Quatre's eyes fluttered awake. He was asleep on Trowa's bed and Trowa was asleep next to him. Quatre smiled and wrapped his arm around him.

Suddenly Quatre heard a small scuffling noise and he jerked around. An old man was crouching next to the bed. This must have been the old man Trowa was talking about! It was the same man that Quatre had seen that afternoon in the tree.

"What do you want?" Quatre choked. The old man laughed.

"Oh nothing, nothing." His eyes darted all around. Trowa stirred.

Quatre leaned over and whispered in Trowa's ear. "Hurry, the old man's here."

Trowa jerked awake and in the blink of an eye he had the old man in a headlock with a knife to his throat. "Tell me why you are putting me through this torture."

The old man shivered, wide eyed. "I'm just a messenger!" Trowa tightened his grip. "Ok, ok! A while back I got into some trouble with one of Queen Emeritus Relena's bodyguards, since then I've been a little insane. Many of the actors in your so-called 'anime' shows disgust me. So I've decided to destroy them."

"But why?" Quatre asked.

"Because I'm not quite right!" The old man gasped and Trowa loosened his grip a little. "I love taking women's panties! And I'm exchanging the thoughts of your friends here just for fun. I like meddling with people's lives."

"So, this has nothing to do with the shows?" Trowa inquired. The old man shook his head.

"I'm just having fun."

"One more question..." Quatre started. "Who are you?"

"My name makes no difference." The old man replied. "I am... a normal person." Quatre and Trowa gasped.

"A normal person? The kind that can't stand our way of life?" Trowa asked. The old man nodded.

"The complex kind that only strange and unusual people can put into stories that closes the gap between the so-called 'normal' people and those known as 'anime lovers' or what-not."

"Did you really kill all those people?" Quatre shivered. The thought of killing always disturbed him.

"Sadly no." The old man shook his head. "But... you'll have to figure out what has been decapitating them and why..." And with that the old man hopped off with his green bag.

"He's toying with us." Trowa stared at the ground Quatre wrapped his arms around him.

"That's ok, at least he forgot to exchange your mind with Heero's." he smiled. Trowa nodded.

Duo was twitching and shaking on his way to the bathhouse. When he was done, he had his mind set on killing Wufei. He had suffered through three hours of the bitter coldness of the refrigerator and all Wufei thought about was Fortune Cookies.

When Duo came to the door to the bathhouse, it took him a few minutes to get the door open because his hands were so numb.

He hurried and got undressed and grabbed a towel, but as soon as he got to an open bath and got in, did he relax and stop twitching.

After sitting in the warm water for a while, Duo started to hear splashing and moaning coming from one of the nearby baths. Slowly and curiously, Duo peeked over the edge.

Noin and Zechs were in the same tub, getting to 'know' each other better. Duo turned red and shrank back into his tub. After a few minutes he heard screaming and peaked again. They were still at it.

Minutes passed and Zechs and Noin were still having way too much fun. Duo had shampooed his hair about 6 times before he couldn't take it anymore. He stood up and yelled.

"STOP IT! CAN'T A GUY WASH IN PEACE!?"

Zechs and Noin stopped and stared at the sight of the naked Duo. Zechs covered Noin's eyes.

"Were you spying on us?" Zechs demanded. Duo shook his head quickly, grabbed a towel and ran out as fast as he could.
"What do you mean there's a Conspiracy?" Sally Po asked Quatre.

"There's a psychotic old man running around exchanging Heero and Trowa's thoughts. He's also decapitating all the actors in the shows."

"And we don't know his name." Trowa nodded. "We just know that he's a 'normal' person."

Trowa and Quatre had gone to Sally Po's office to discuss the happenings of the Conspiracy and to find out what has been decapitating everyone and how they could stop it.

"Hmmm" Sally pondered. "Do you know what they look like?"

"They're round." Trowa started.

"And in different colors." Quatre finished.

All of a sudden Duo barged only clad in a towel. He was breathing hard.

"What is it, Duo?" Sally asked.

"It's Noin and Zechs." Duo stopped to catch his breath. "In the bathhouses." Quatre and Trowa exhaled.

"We can't get them to stop." Sally reasoned. "No matter what. Anyway, Duo, do you know anything about the Conspiracy?"

"Yeah, someone's out to get Sailor Moon." Duo shrugged.

"Is that all?"

"No."

Quatre jumped in. "Maybe you've figured something out!"

"Well, I saw this chick from Tenchi get decapitated by these colorful, round, rubbery things." Duo began.

Trowa sat and thought out loud. "What do we know about things that are rubbery, round, and colorful?"

Sally snapped her fingers. "CONDOMS!"

Quatre and Trowa blinked. "What's a condom?" Duo fell over.

"Well I guess I'm gonna have to explain something to you guys." Duo grinned and cleared his throat. "A condom is what a male uses to stop his so-called 'baby-makin'-fluid' from getting into a female. That way, it can stop STD's and unplanned pregnancy." Sally nodded.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh" Quatre sighed. "No wonder, we never use those."

"How come you know about this, Duo?" Trowa asked.

Duo scratched his neck. "Oh, I've been around..." Sally laughed.

"He took one of Noin's Sex Education classes because he thought she was gonna show the class her breasts."

Duo turned red. "I did not!" He stopped. "Well the part about taking to class is true."

Kaito got stuck doing chores again. So, as he mopped up the side of the pool, his best friend and partner, Rena skated by.

"Hey, Kaito!" She called out. "When you're done meet me by the tree in the park! I have a surprise!"

Kaito grimaced. This wasn't the first time Rena had tried to sneak him into admitting his feelings for her. The truth was, he didn't have feelings for her. But never-the-less he finished his chores and met up with Rena.

She wasn't alone. Standing next to her was Kaito's old friend, Rick. Rena smiled. "Rick and I are go-" she was cut short because three condoms came up and decapitated them.

Wufei looked at the TV in the kitchen. "Why people throw Condoms at people?" He shrugged. Slowly, he marched down the hallway and dragged himself to his room. His stomach hurt tremendously because he had had way too many Fortune Cookies.

Sally Po was walking down the hall talking to Duo, Quatre and Trowa about something. Wufei smiled and ran up to them.

"Hey, Wufei, finished with the cookies?" Sally smiled. Wufei nodded.

"Guess what? People throw Condoms on TV." he grinned. "I figured conspiracy."

"Yes, I know that, Wufei." Quatre explained.

"You do?"

"Yes, we figured it out." Trowa nodded. Wufei sank to the floor.

"I NOT SPECIAL!" he almost sobbed.

Sally knelt down beside him. "That's not true. Everyone is special. Look at Duo only he can pick his nose like that."

Duo pulled his finger out of his nose. "I was not!"

"Was too!" Wufei snickered, forgetting what he was upset about.

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Was not!"

"Was too!"

"Boys, boys." Quatre stepped in. "No fighting please. Trowa and I are going to my room to figure out how to stop the Conspiracy." Trowa nodded and hand in hand he and Quatre left.

"Awww." Duo fluttered his eyelashes. "They look so innocent!"

Sally put her hands on her hips and smiled. "And they admitted without knowing it that they both aren't the virgins they claim to be."

Wufei's gaped open. "They aren't?"

Duo and Sally shook their heads.

"How come I last to know!" Wufei stormed off.
Will Quatre and Trowa find the secret to stop the conspiracy? Will Wufei ever be the first to know something? Does Sally like Wufei? Or does Wufei like Sally? Is Duo hiding something? Find out next time on The Horrors of TV Part 7!
Heero: I know what Duo's been hiding.

Narrator: What?

Heero: He's only got a 4 inch dick.

Narrator: ::falls over:: Thanks for sharing, Heero.

Heero: Your welcome. Hey Relena's not here.

Narrator: I got complaints.

Heero: Oh, figures.

/"If your joking that's rude. If you're being sarcastic, that's even worse."-a quote from Duo Maxwell, Endless Waltz/ -[]Goes quite well with what Heero just said, ne? []-