Disclaimer: disclaimer for the first chapter applies to the rest of the
story
The Horrors of TV Part 8
As soon as Satoshi and Kasumi were gone, Kenji started to set up a table with candles and all the romantic necessities. He always knew that Satoshi and Kasumi were meant for each other and therefore had to carefully plan this out with Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny. The two older females had led Satoshi and Kasumi away long enough for Kenji to set everything. It was no less than three minutes later that Joy and Jenny were back with Satoshi and Kasumi.
"GAH! Kenji! What's all this?" Satoshi blinked.
Kenji smirked. "It's about time you two realized your true feelings for each other.
"True feelings?"
"Hai."
"Oh, Satoshi!" Kasumi's eyes were gleaming. "I always knew that you liked me! I love you too!" She embraced him and Satoshi blinked.
"Uh. Kasumi."
"Nani?"
"What are you doing?"
"You mean. you don't love me?"
Satoshi turned red. "No.. I mean wait. er. it's like this. heh heh heh.."
Duo started yelling at the TV. "HURRY UP AND DIE ALREADY!"
Then Satoshi and Kasumi made out and the condoms came up and decapitated them.
"Oh.. ok that was quick." Duo blinked. He was sitting on the counter of the kitchen eating a bag of potato chips trying to do something productive.
"Oh, like that happen." Wufei smirked. Duo shrieked like a girl and jumped up 10 feet. "WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT FC?!"
"I innocent. You stupid." Wufei said calmly and stepped out the kitchen and ran headlong into Sally Po.
"Hey, Wufei. What's up?" Sally smiled.
'H-h-hi Sally." Wufei's cheeks burned and he bolted out the door.
Duo called after him. "Oooooooo SOMEONE'S IN LOVE!!!"
"SHADDAP!" Wufei called over his shoulder and ran into a wall and fainted.
"Wufei is something else isn't he?" Sally chuckled and shook her head. "Say, Duo, find anything on the conspiracy?"
"No. But they were making 10 year old Pokéshit trainers make out."
"That's something at least. Thank you Duo."
"OH YAY! What do I get?"
"Here, catch!" Sally flipped a dog biscuit at Duo and he caught it with his teeth.
"I did it!" Duo cheered himself and ran off to tell of his victory.
Sally picked up her walkie talkie and whispered quietly into it. "Gay little blonde kid, Gay little blonde kid. This is Double Braided Lady. Come in Gay little blonde kid! Over"
"This is Gay little blonde kid, what is it Double Braided Lady? Over" Came a voice from the walkie talkie.
"We've found more out on the conspiracy. Over."
"That's great! Over."
"I suggest watching some more Television as much as it may hurt you. Over"
"Ok, will do. This is gay little blonde kid. Over and out."
Lina Inverse was up against one of the craziest evil peoples in her dimension: Valgaav.
Valgaav smirked. "Come on, Lina. Is that the best you can do?"
"No! What are you talking about?! I haven't done anything yet!"
"I know. I just always wanted to say that."
"Yea. sure." Lina sighed and was soon swept off her feet by Valgaav. "Gimme some sugar baby!" They slowly started to kiss and it turned into one of the oddest make out sessions ever because no one in their right mind would ever pair these two up.
And because of that matter, condoms flew up and decapitated them both.
"Hmm. " Quatre thought out loud. "Could this give me any clues? What we need to know now is why Haposai is changing Trowa and Heero's minds a lot. I do know that the conspiracy is warning people to use protection. Maybe that's the reason behind his switching Trowa and Heero. or Haposai could be crazy. I know that he's a hentai, so why is he so into using protection? Maybe it could be a public service announcement. Or maybe, he's switching Trowa and Heero's minds because Heero doesn't like me, and Trowa doesn't like Duo or Relena! That could be it! That way. everyone stays away from each other and the protection goes on. But some people have never heard of these contraptions called condoms, like me and Trowa for instance. So this may not help very much. But it could very well help many others and that's a fact. I am positive that this is all for a good cause. And this should be recorded onto some and text and put into a novel of some sort. Maybe even posted onto a website. but nah that would never happen. And anyway, I really do believe that we should tell Haposai the next time he shows up that we are going about our own way to make a public service announcement and give out protection. So that way he may leave us alone. But then Trowa. err. Heero is going out to kill Haposai so either way we're safe once again, although I approve of my tactic much better because I do not wish to harm anyone. And-"
"YOU GIVE A REST ALREADY?! SHEESH!" Wufei called out from the door. Quatre whirled around suddenly.
"At least I'm trying to figure all of this out!" he defended himself.
"What that mean? I help too!"
"You haven't helped at all but get in the way."
"But I figure conspiracy out!"
"Yeah, right."
"It a public service announcement!"
"You heard me talking."
"No I not!"
"Yes, you did. You told me to give it a rest."
".So?"
"So, you didn't help. Sorry."
"I hate you."
Quatre gasped. "That's not a nice thing to say."
"Me say nothing nice."
"That's true. Listen. I've figured the conspiracy out. I need you to stop Trowa. err Heero's mind in Trowa's body from killing Haposai. Can you do that for me?"
Wufei narrowed his eyes. "What you pay me?"
"I have to pay you?"
"Fine. I do it." Wufei sighed and walked out the door.
Trowa was on his way to find Haposai when he realized that he had no clue as to how to reach him. That was an obstacle in his book and he had to find a way to get around that. He played in his mind how Duo or Relena would do it, and realized that that would help no more than asking a squirrel for directions. Then he realized that that was what Duo and Relena would do so he knelt next to the nearest squirrel.
"Squeak squeakety squeaker squeak squeak? (Where can I find Haposai?)
The squirrel looked at him weird. "Squeak?" (Who?)
Trowa sighed. "Squeaker Squeak squeaky squeakem." (The little hentai guy with a green bag.)
The squirrel nodded. "SQUEAK! Squeakery." ( He raped my uncle and went that way!)
Trowa squeaked his thanks and ran in the direction the squirrel indicated. He found the remains of a blown up squirrel and a condom. He realized that that must have been the squirrel's uncle.
With Heero's mind, Trowa could now speak squirrel and he found that quite interesting. Or he would have if, he had his own mind too. Trowa decided to quicken up the pace and he started to run, but he soon tripped over something and fell flat on his face.
"Hahahaha! You so STUPID!" a familiar voice jeered. Trowa looked up with his muddy face and found himself staring in the eyes of Wufei. "I TRIP YOU! YOU SO STUPID!"
Trowa got up and dusted himself off. "That's very amusing, Wufei. Why are you here?" "Quatre told me stop you from killing hentai dude."
"Why that little. GAY LITTLE BLONDE KID! He always ruins my fun." Trowa started to trudge towards home. "Why'd he tell me to stop?"
"Somethin' 'bout negotiation."
"Oh great." Trowa finished trudging home, which was like four feet and as soon as he opened the door to the Preventer's dorms where they all stayed, his mind turned back into Trowa's. He suddenly gasped.
"What now?" Wufei complained for no reason.
"Did I really say all those mean things about Quatre?" Trowa stood shocked.
"Yea. welcome to club."
Will Trowa ever forgive himself of saying those things about Quatre? Will Wufei admit he likes Sally? Is Duo actually HELPFUL? Is Wufei helpful? Will Quatre stop senselessly thinking? Where's Noin and Zechs? Can Heero speak any other forest creature language? Find out next time on the Horrors of TV Part 9! ^.^
Heero: Tweet tweeeet tweeter! (I'm answering a question and it's not Part 9 yet!)
Bird: Tweetle tweet tweeeet! ( Good for you!)
Heero: Tweety Tweetems tweet tweeeetle. ( I know. I'm the best.)
Bird: Tweeeet tweetles tweet. (Haposai raped my Uncle too.)
Heero: Twe twe twe tweeeeeetles! ( Ha ha ha You suck!)
Narrator: You're sad.
/ "If you're joking that's rude. If you're being sarcastic, see if I care." -another modification of a quote from Duo Maxwell\Endless Waltz /
The Horrors of TV Part 8
As soon as Satoshi and Kasumi were gone, Kenji started to set up a table with candles and all the romantic necessities. He always knew that Satoshi and Kasumi were meant for each other and therefore had to carefully plan this out with Nurse Joy and Officer Jenny. The two older females had led Satoshi and Kasumi away long enough for Kenji to set everything. It was no less than three minutes later that Joy and Jenny were back with Satoshi and Kasumi.
"GAH! Kenji! What's all this?" Satoshi blinked.
Kenji smirked. "It's about time you two realized your true feelings for each other.
"True feelings?"
"Hai."
"Oh, Satoshi!" Kasumi's eyes were gleaming. "I always knew that you liked me! I love you too!" She embraced him and Satoshi blinked.
"Uh. Kasumi."
"Nani?"
"What are you doing?"
"You mean. you don't love me?"
Satoshi turned red. "No.. I mean wait. er. it's like this. heh heh heh.."
Duo started yelling at the TV. "HURRY UP AND DIE ALREADY!"
Then Satoshi and Kasumi made out and the condoms came up and decapitated them.
"Oh.. ok that was quick." Duo blinked. He was sitting on the counter of the kitchen eating a bag of potato chips trying to do something productive.
"Oh, like that happen." Wufei smirked. Duo shrieked like a girl and jumped up 10 feet. "WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT FC?!"
"I innocent. You stupid." Wufei said calmly and stepped out the kitchen and ran headlong into Sally Po.
"Hey, Wufei. What's up?" Sally smiled.
'H-h-hi Sally." Wufei's cheeks burned and he bolted out the door.
Duo called after him. "Oooooooo SOMEONE'S IN LOVE!!!"
"SHADDAP!" Wufei called over his shoulder and ran into a wall and fainted.
"Wufei is something else isn't he?" Sally chuckled and shook her head. "Say, Duo, find anything on the conspiracy?"
"No. But they were making 10 year old Pokéshit trainers make out."
"That's something at least. Thank you Duo."
"OH YAY! What do I get?"
"Here, catch!" Sally flipped a dog biscuit at Duo and he caught it with his teeth.
"I did it!" Duo cheered himself and ran off to tell of his victory.
Sally picked up her walkie talkie and whispered quietly into it. "Gay little blonde kid, Gay little blonde kid. This is Double Braided Lady. Come in Gay little blonde kid! Over"
"This is Gay little blonde kid, what is it Double Braided Lady? Over" Came a voice from the walkie talkie.
"We've found more out on the conspiracy. Over."
"That's great! Over."
"I suggest watching some more Television as much as it may hurt you. Over"
"Ok, will do. This is gay little blonde kid. Over and out."
Lina Inverse was up against one of the craziest evil peoples in her dimension: Valgaav.
Valgaav smirked. "Come on, Lina. Is that the best you can do?"
"No! What are you talking about?! I haven't done anything yet!"
"I know. I just always wanted to say that."
"Yea. sure." Lina sighed and was soon swept off her feet by Valgaav. "Gimme some sugar baby!" They slowly started to kiss and it turned into one of the oddest make out sessions ever because no one in their right mind would ever pair these two up.
And because of that matter, condoms flew up and decapitated them both.
"Hmm. " Quatre thought out loud. "Could this give me any clues? What we need to know now is why Haposai is changing Trowa and Heero's minds a lot. I do know that the conspiracy is warning people to use protection. Maybe that's the reason behind his switching Trowa and Heero. or Haposai could be crazy. I know that he's a hentai, so why is he so into using protection? Maybe it could be a public service announcement. Or maybe, he's switching Trowa and Heero's minds because Heero doesn't like me, and Trowa doesn't like Duo or Relena! That could be it! That way. everyone stays away from each other and the protection goes on. But some people have never heard of these contraptions called condoms, like me and Trowa for instance. So this may not help very much. But it could very well help many others and that's a fact. I am positive that this is all for a good cause. And this should be recorded onto some and text and put into a novel of some sort. Maybe even posted onto a website. but nah that would never happen. And anyway, I really do believe that we should tell Haposai the next time he shows up that we are going about our own way to make a public service announcement and give out protection. So that way he may leave us alone. But then Trowa. err. Heero is going out to kill Haposai so either way we're safe once again, although I approve of my tactic much better because I do not wish to harm anyone. And-"
"YOU GIVE A REST ALREADY?! SHEESH!" Wufei called out from the door. Quatre whirled around suddenly.
"At least I'm trying to figure all of this out!" he defended himself.
"What that mean? I help too!"
"You haven't helped at all but get in the way."
"But I figure conspiracy out!"
"Yeah, right."
"It a public service announcement!"
"You heard me talking."
"No I not!"
"Yes, you did. You told me to give it a rest."
".So?"
"So, you didn't help. Sorry."
"I hate you."
Quatre gasped. "That's not a nice thing to say."
"Me say nothing nice."
"That's true. Listen. I've figured the conspiracy out. I need you to stop Trowa. err Heero's mind in Trowa's body from killing Haposai. Can you do that for me?"
Wufei narrowed his eyes. "What you pay me?"
"I have to pay you?"
"Fine. I do it." Wufei sighed and walked out the door.
Trowa was on his way to find Haposai when he realized that he had no clue as to how to reach him. That was an obstacle in his book and he had to find a way to get around that. He played in his mind how Duo or Relena would do it, and realized that that would help no more than asking a squirrel for directions. Then he realized that that was what Duo and Relena would do so he knelt next to the nearest squirrel.
"Squeak squeakety squeaker squeak squeak? (Where can I find Haposai?)
The squirrel looked at him weird. "Squeak?" (Who?)
Trowa sighed. "Squeaker Squeak squeaky squeakem." (The little hentai guy with a green bag.)
The squirrel nodded. "SQUEAK! Squeakery." ( He raped my uncle and went that way!)
Trowa squeaked his thanks and ran in the direction the squirrel indicated. He found the remains of a blown up squirrel and a condom. He realized that that must have been the squirrel's uncle.
With Heero's mind, Trowa could now speak squirrel and he found that quite interesting. Or he would have if, he had his own mind too. Trowa decided to quicken up the pace and he started to run, but he soon tripped over something and fell flat on his face.
"Hahahaha! You so STUPID!" a familiar voice jeered. Trowa looked up with his muddy face and found himself staring in the eyes of Wufei. "I TRIP YOU! YOU SO STUPID!"
Trowa got up and dusted himself off. "That's very amusing, Wufei. Why are you here?" "Quatre told me stop you from killing hentai dude."
"Why that little. GAY LITTLE BLONDE KID! He always ruins my fun." Trowa started to trudge towards home. "Why'd he tell me to stop?"
"Somethin' 'bout negotiation."
"Oh great." Trowa finished trudging home, which was like four feet and as soon as he opened the door to the Preventer's dorms where they all stayed, his mind turned back into Trowa's. He suddenly gasped.
"What now?" Wufei complained for no reason.
"Did I really say all those mean things about Quatre?" Trowa stood shocked.
"Yea. welcome to club."
Will Trowa ever forgive himself of saying those things about Quatre? Will Wufei admit he likes Sally? Is Duo actually HELPFUL? Is Wufei helpful? Will Quatre stop senselessly thinking? Where's Noin and Zechs? Can Heero speak any other forest creature language? Find out next time on the Horrors of TV Part 9! ^.^
Heero: Tweet tweeeet tweeter! (I'm answering a question and it's not Part 9 yet!)
Bird: Tweetle tweet tweeeet! ( Good for you!)
Heero: Tweety Tweetems tweet tweeeetle. ( I know. I'm the best.)
Bird: Tweeeet tweetles tweet. (Haposai raped my Uncle too.)
Heero: Twe twe twe tweeeeeetles! ( Ha ha ha You suck!)
Narrator: You're sad.
/ "If you're joking that's rude. If you're being sarcastic, see if I care." -another modification of a quote from Duo Maxwell\Endless Waltz /