Lol, I betcha all thought I was dead and gone, right? XD *Gets up from her casket and does a few cartwheels* The truth of the matter was that I kinda lost my inspiration and motivation since my last upload, and writing this fan fiction is also a low priority in comparison to the other stuff I have to do, like my assignments and working on art. But no matter how long it takes for me to upload, know that I'll *never* abandon this and I will see it through all the way to the end. ^__^ I made an implied promise to write a whole story from the very first chapter I uploaded, and I'll be keeping my word, so never fear! Lots of thankyous are overdue on my part to the people who still read and reviewed this story even when I disappeared for a spell, and I'll reply to each of you at the end of the chapter. ^__^
For now though, this is the start of Part 2 which will see more action and interaction then the preliminaries of Part 1, and it's also time to start justifying the tag of 'Squalfie' that I decided to designate to this story in the first place! ;) *Hint hint* I hope you all enjoy reading this chapter, and I'll meet you all again at the finishing line…! ^^
Note – pretty much all of my italics were wiped out during the upload, so I had to substitute them for bold lettering. -___- So wherever there's bold, it's meant to be italicised!
- PART 2 -
CHAPTER 13: A matter of trust
It started in sunshine. The creamy blue and white basin of an early spring sky sailed overhead with a joyous glow to its rich tint, and the happy peal of birdsong only seemed to heighten the glory of the first fine warm day that many had been longing for during the hard winter months. The crystalline snow still lay in scattered piles along the walkway and dripped lazily from the swaying pines, but the vicious winds had ceased to bite, their frosty teeth softened to a mere caress which spoke of the promise of long heady days soaked with yellow sunshine…
Laughter. All around. She trotted up that familiar cobbled path, heels clacking a merry rhythm upon the cracked paving. All smiles. Hello, how d'ye do? Very well thankyou. That's good. That's very good… clack clack. Skip over here, gambol over there. Nothing can hurt you in this place.
It was so bright. She peered through narrowed eyes, shading her face from the worst of the glare. The magnificent Garden arches rose and fell in a graceful apex, shadowed starkly against the brilliance of the overhead midday sun… and then from somewhere deep within the building's depths came the ringing of bells, tolling the hour with their sweet metallic voices. She counted silently under her breath, even as she continued to gaze thoughtfully skywards.
One… two…
She'd never known it to be so bright. It was too early in spring to expect such fine weather… the light seemed to bounce off every surface… springing deftly from the surface of exposed skin, catching off the polished marble of the Garden tiers, refracting into a million shattered pieces of spinning multi-coloured flakes and turning the unmelted snow into burning coronas of white winter suns… and it only seemed to growing brighter as the seconds resonated through the shimmering air.
… three… four… five…
She had stopped walking. Others passed her by, seemingly oblivious to the overpowering radiance and as she stared in wonder, their forms wavered and faded around the edges, as though they were nothing but walking illusions. She shook her head in puzzlement, but it was no trick of the eye – suddenly, everything seemed to be trembling with the effort of holding itself together…
… six… seven… eight…
The world was lurching beneath her feet and she stumbled, suddenly sensing the ground under her sagging and melting into a confusing tapestry of colours. She looked around wildly, motioning to anyone she could see with flailing arms, but they just wouldn't listen! They just couldn't see! The world was crumbling to pieces while they were still in it, and they weren't even aware! She tried to call to them, her mouth forming silent words that only she could hear, and when she tried to scream, it was a scream for her ears only. Still, she screamed. A racking sob tore itself from her chest and she could not stop the spasms, even as the flickering spectres of uniformed SeeDs continued to smile and nod their heads in greeting. Hello. How d'ye do? Their faces seemed to liquefy as their lips sunk into the dripping slag of their faces, sunny grins distorted into frighteningly distorted shapes… and yet they still smiled, oblivious. Hello. How d'ye do?
… nine… ten… eleven…
She cowered, stricken with loathing and horror as they converged around her with their chirpy words of good cheer, but suddenly she forced her eyes towards the sky again. A high pitched whining was filling her ears, and a feeling of bone numbing dread shot through her huddled frame like a chilling wind. She knew that sound. She knew what was making it. One look at the sky confirmed it, and she staggered backwards at the realisation that death was only a few meagre seconds away… only a few seconds to save them! Get away! Get away! Run!
……
Don't just stand there!!!
She howled in frustration, her fingers almost snapping in the tight enclosure of her balled fists. They stared stupidly at her, nothing but melted skin and bone decked in the gaudy regalia of SeeD hierarchy. Their lopsided grins were for her only, the ashen hue of bone rendered startlingly clear as their bodies wasted away… jaws clacking noisily as they chirruped in unison… hElLo. HoW d'Ye dO? HeLlO? HeLlLllOoOoOo……
… twelve.
FLASH!
She heard the explosion as clearly as if she had been there. It not only tore through her senses but seemed to pass through her in a burning white wave of shattering noise, ripping her asunder from the inside out and blowing her upon the unforgiving winds. The world was crashing, crashing… falling! Screaming! Disorientated, she knew not whether she was facing up or down, but what she did know was that everything was dying… all around, all around… death was near enough to touch, resting heavily upon her tongue and plaguing her heels like a snapping hound. She smelt the burning. Licking flames towered high, swallowing the horizon and turning the happy sky a bloody crimson, choking it with the stench of smoke, scorched rock and the burning bones of the dead… sobbing, she surveyed the miserable scene of destruction, finding herself still standing in the middle of that cobbled road from which she had never moved after all. The winds sent grey ash spiralling past her comatose form, and she forced herself to breathe in. She inhaled death, drinking it to the gills. She swallowed guilt, rancid and foul. Couldn't stop it. Wouldn't. Couldn't. All. Your. Fault… you knew, you knew, why didn't you tell them? Dead and dust because of you.
All. Your. Fault.
……
……?!
:Can you hear me…?:
……
… Ellone?
……
W-what are you doing here?
:This is the only way I can truly communicate with you now…:
'Now'? Has something happened?
:……:
:Yes. But I can't tell you what… she might hear. I'm sorry.:
:Who is 'she'? Or can't you tell me that either?:
:No. She will hear. I don't want you harmed… please trust me. It is not necessary for you to know yet…:
Ellone, I want to know if there's anything I can do to help. There must be a reason why you're reaching out to me!
:Stay safe. That is the first thing you should do… please don't risk your life in anything. I… I don't know what will happen if you should die…:
You shouldn't have to worry about me, so why the sudden concern? I'm a SeeD. I can handle whatever comes my way, right?
:Don't underestimate what you're up against… I wish I could tell you more, but she'll be sure to know…:
How? Are you being monitored in some way? Where are you speaking from? Are you still in Esthar?
:Yes… oh Hyne, she's coming. I have to go…:
Wait! Can you at least tell me… where I am? Why… do I keep seeing this dream?
:…:
:Because this is the Dreamworld.:
:…:
:I don't know why you're seeing this. It's too soon… you shouldn't be in here yet…:
And just like that the voice was gone, leaving nothing behind in its wake except for a whirling eddy of ashes. Silence crept in to fill the void, bar for the occasional clatter of loose rubble as it stirred from within the bowels of the desolate ruin.
She closed her eyes and remembered.
* * * * *
Selphie blinked her way back into consciousness, her eyes watering as they struggled to adjust to the light pouring in from the partially open flap of the military tent. She paused for a moment, studying her surroundings with an inkling of confusion before the events of the past few hours snapped together in a satisfying whole in her foggy mind… the makeshift mattress beneath her was hard and scratchy, and she forced herself to sit up despite the protesting of her aching limbs. Yawning heavily, Selphie stretched and rubbed at her sleep-matted hair, aware of a certain puffiness around her eyes which meant that she'd lost more hours of sleep than she'd have cared to. Give Galbadia some credit… at least they let you catch some z's in the first place!
That jolted her back to the present. Still blinking owlishly but not yet standing up, Selphie squinted through the cracks of the tent opening, trying to discern what sort of activity was going on in the outside world. The small tent had been hastily erected on the outskirts of the Garden in a plain spot of grassland, far enough from the main path to be unnoticed and close enough to the Garden itself to be safe from wayward beasts. There were several voices, all conversational, and Selphie espied a few trailing shadows passing across the canvas with a relaxed military gait. Well, if no one's about to give me a wake up call, then I'll just settle in for a little bit longer… yawning again, Selphie pulled her legs off the ground and curled into the lumpy pillow, but she did not close her eyes. A bothered feeling was milling around in her stomach, and the spectre of the latest nightmare had not yet fully dissipated which was setting her nerves on edge. The pungent aroma of Grat blood was no help either; she'd not been permitted to shower in the Garden, having been escorted directly to the gates and to the small encampment that she now found herself within. In her exhausted state, she'd put up no resistance and had refrained from asking any questions, but now feeling somewhat rested, Selphie felt herself frowning as she mulled over certain issues for which she longed for explanations.
I'm kinda worried about how Squall's doing… heh, that's the understatement of the century. Selphie bit her lip as she recalled the sight of the ugly purple lump that had adorned her Commander's forehead and his horribly ashen face, and she had no idea how he had fared in the time between then and now. Quistis gave all her curatives to me, and even that wasn't completely enough. I'm still itching like crazy, now that I think about it! Beneath the grime that was coating almost the entire surface area of her limbs, Selphie could make out the raw pink hue of recently mended skin, coupled with the tender soreness of torn and wounded flesh. The main wounds have closed at least, but those burns hurt like billy-o. Hyne knows Squall's Limits go for overkill… She winced at the memory of the raging white tempest, idly scratching at a nagging itch in the crook of her knee as she rolled over impatiently onto her back to stare at the uninteresting curve of the top of the tent.
He'll be fine. Stop fretting. And anyway, manslaughter only carries a five year term you stupid, irresponsible little…! Selphie rolled her eyes, realising her fingers were pulling the blanket into miniscule knots and she yanked her body to the side in a vain attempt to get comfortable. I don't know why I'm worrying so much about him. I never did before, why start now? Bah, don't be an idiot. It's perfectly normal for friends to worry about friends. That is, if Squall could even be thought of as a friend. Weird… I never really thought about it. I just assumed… now that I think about it, we hardly have anything in common. Do friends always have things in common? What's the difference between a friend and an acquaintance? And… and… why in Hyne's name am I dissecting this now? Selphie ground her teeth, feeling unusually short-tempered at herself. Prioritise. We've worried enough about that. What about trying to figure out what Galbadia has to do with all of this?
She drew a breath and slowly exhaled it, feeling the air whistle through her pouted lips as she swapped the issues in her mind and drew the second in line to the front of the queue. There had been no change in the gentle bustle outside the tent, and Selphie permitted herself to remain relaxed for a little longer as she pondered. So the most imperialistic nation in this world just decides to turn up on your doorstep in the wee hours of morning in their bucket loads with no word of warning, and not even a small hello? Somehow, I'm under the impression that they didn't just want Balamb hotdogs…
"And the dreams…" Selphie muttered under her breath, remembering all too well the dank sensation that sleep had brought to her senses, and the unsettled feel of her stomach which had nothing to do with missing out on breakfast. "Ellone… in Esthar? Gotta be. Galbadia… there must be a link. A call of help, maybe? Darn it Ellone, why couldn't you talk to me… Can you hear me now?" Selphie paused and listened expectantly, but of course there was no reply and no unfamiliar shifting in her mind which usually accompanied Ellone's long distance calls.
Confusing. It's all just too much at the moment… why was I singled out by Galbadia? Am I under lock and key because… because they know about Ellone? Is that what this is all about? Selphie suddenly felt stricken by a pang of alarm and she half sat up, staring intently at the sealed tent flap as though expecting a band of Galbadian militia to come storming in at any given moment. Ooookay… things are just getting too weird around here! How could Galbadia possibly know, unless…
The lights seemed to click in Selphie's head almost instantaneously, and she chided herself for not having realised it earlier… Ellone communicating from the Dreamworld, in hiding and possibly even on the run… unless they're the ones after Ellone – again, damn it, as if the first round wasn't enough!
"Alrighty, that does it – I am so getting out of here…" Selphie whispered fiercely to herself, finally feeling some of her old energy returning to flood through her sluggish veins. The tent now seemed so stifling and hot, feeling less and less like the shelter it was intended to be and taking on the look of a constricting cage. Sitting up fully, Selphie discovered her boots where they had been tossed against the canvas closest to the foot of the mattress and hurriedly pulled them on, ignoring the uncomfortable feel of the mud that was squished in the pinched toes of her footwear and keeping a watchful lookout through the cracks of the entrance. I dunno what they're planning to do with me… I don't particularly want to find out, and they can all go to hell before I act as a medium on Ellone's behalf! I have to get away some how, but…
Upon turning down the heat of her feverish thoughts, it suddenly became painfully clear to Selphie that she'd been put at a disadvantage in advance – Galbadia had clearly anticipated the possibility of her actions, and she inwardly groaned as she observed the empty space on her belt and with a touch of more serious concern, the cold gaping holes in her channels where static fire usually culminated in its snapping, crackling glory… it had been awhile since she'd experienced such alien emptiness, and the mere thought of Galbadia having enough reason – and the means – to confiscate the powerhouses of raw Para-magic that were the Guardian Forces was a serious matter indeed.
Fine, take my weapon, see if I care. But my GF's…! Selphie felt suitably affronted on top of the annoying inconvenience of having discovered herself completely powerless in both a physical and magical sense. What would Galbadia know about un-Junctioning GFs anyway? Did they have inside help or…
The last of her inner complaints were butted out by a familiar electronic chime echoing in the distance, and Selphie froze as she registered the sound as it travelled on the still air, barely leaking into the silent enclosure of the tent. "The Garden intercom…?" she mused, relief slightly softening the edges of her anxiety at the confirmation that the Garden was still functioning regardless of the road show that had unexpectedly turned up outside the gates. Creeping as close to the tent flap as she dared without letting her silhouette give her away, Selphie strained to pick up on what scraps of the message were floating towards the encampment, but the human activity in the immediate area created an impeding layer of sound which made it impossible to properly discern the announcement. Determined, Selphie closed her eyes and concentrated, doing her utmost to block out the surrounding noise and honing her hearing onto the layer of background intonation…
Damn, it's no use – I'd have never thought Galbadians do be so chatty… can't we at least figure out who's doing the talking though? As though attempting to ease her internal frustration, the wind stirred into a lethargic sort of motion from where it had been resting among the leaves and trampled grass, lifting unintelligible stops and starts of the spoken message over the Garden wall and filtering the fragments through the tree tops on high. It was still too difficult to pick out individual words but the timbre of the voice had an unusual distinctive quality, stringing the muffled garble together like the fine strands of a web and even as Selphie struggled to place a name, it abruptly became apparent moments before the second closing chime rang through the woodland.
By the hairs on the chin of my deceased granny… Squall? Curiosity was quick to follow the immediate relief that the realisation brought and Selphie paused, suddenly at a loss as to what to do next. If he's up and about, he'll probably be getting here shortly to bail me out of this mess which means we should stay put… but what if that doesn't happen? What if he decides to cart me off with these Galbadian jerks? Darn it, he'll probably do it to put an end to my Garden Committee schemes… ack!! the Garden Festival!! Selphie slapped herself across the forehead in fright and unwittingly sent herself half reeling. Who's going to be in charge if I have to leave?! I have to let Quistis know that I…
The tent flap flipped open, startling Selphie out of her wits and causing her to stumble backwards by a few more footsteps. The glaring light outside illuminated the profile of a bored looking Galbadian soldier, and Selphie was forced to shield her face from the luminance bouncing off the circumference of his polished head gear.
The young man seemed to jump slightly, obviously not expecting the occupant of the tent to be standing within walking distance and rubbing feverishly at a curious hand-shaped red mark on her grimy forehead. Recovering quickly, his face regained its original straight-faced composure as he motioned outside with a flick of his chin. "The head general of this deployment has orders to prepare you for an immediate escort to a classified destination. You have until 0:05 to prepare and be on standby for further instructions." The soldier ducked out of sight almost immediately after delivering the clipped summons without waiting for any reply.
Stunned, Selphie blocked out the throbbing in her brow as she digested the soldier's words. No choice in the matter. What did we expect? Oh Hyne, we're definitely in deep doo-doo now… frustrated, Selphie kicked fruitlessly at the canvas floor with the toe of a boot, wishing that she had a decent outlet to release a bit of steam. Escort? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm perfectly happy here, thankyou very much! And if you think I'm gonna let you cart me outta here like a trussed up songbird, you've all got another thing coming… She continued to scuff away at the rough material of the floor, hoping to at least create a hole in the Galbadian merchandise. Don't expect me to sing about Ellone either, no sirree. Just you wait… I'll make you all regret dragging me along on your little expeditions…! Hate hate hate! I hate all of this! With an almighty swing fuelled by the rising annoyance bubbling through her veins, Selphie felt the pointed tip of her boot catch on the fraying fabric underfoot and a shocking rip grated through the silent air, followed by a 'thump' as a certain unbalanced, disgruntled SeeD's rump made heavy contact with the ground. Hate hate hate…!!!! I've had it up to here with pain today!! I need weapons!! I need magic!! I need more sleep…!! I… I… Selphie balled her hands into tiny fists and squeezed her eyes shut, fumbling around in the dark for closure to that sentence, and all at once finding it.
…I… I need to SCREAM!!!
"… so like, I just walked right on in like I do every night and after ten years of the same old routine, you don't expect a bombshell to drop any time soon, right? Huh, I know better now. Women, you just can't turn your back on one for a second… I'm telling you Hal, get yourself a girl but don't be listening to any of that commitment crap they always spout. Take it from me, Galbadia divorcee number… t-three hundred and t-twenty t-t-three…" with a cracking sob, the disheartened uniformed youth sagged against the shoulder of his sympathetic, but yawning companion, drawing a few raised eyebrows and sniggers from soldiers roaming through the small encampment. "Er… look buddy," Hal said awkwardly, trying to inch away from the bawling human water fountain currently soaking his newly dry-cleaned uniform, "It's not that I don't feel for you or anything. I feel man, really I do. But like, er, I don't think this is the time to be worrying about that sort of stuff. C'mon, you're embarrassing me…! Git off! You sound worse than a woman, for Hyne's sake…!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"
At least two dozen heads swivelled simultaneously towards the tiny tent propped up near the centre of the encampment, while a flock of startled birds rose from the treetops in a flurry of flapping, screeching and loose feathers. The tinkle of broken glass from where it had been dropped against a rock in fright tickled the settling air. As a shocked silence settled upon the deafened ears of the comatose military band, the emptiness was suddenly broken by the lilt of an appreciative whistle.
"I take it back man. Nothing you can do would top PMS – or at least a bad night's sleep."
* * *
"That's it… nice and normal… nothing's wrong, everything's just fine and dandy…"
The outer layer of Squall's face remained neutral with only the slightest crease breaking his otherwise smooth forehead, although those drifting by him on their way in and out of the foyer gates may have wondered about the peculiar grinding noise which seemed to be emanating from their stiff-shouldered Commander – an intelligent few may have even correctly deduced it to be the result of too much teeth gnashing. Some may have also paused to consider the unexpected Galbadian entourage dogging his heels, but would quickly have associated their arrival with the recent announcement that had aired during their breakfast hours…
I don't know why hardly anyone here seems too surprised. I guess to the Garden, it's business as usual… when did we drop our guard, anyway? With the Sorceress threat seemingly done away with for good, we became too soft, too trusting. One year ago, the sight of a Galbadian in Garden, let alone a handful of them, would've created mass panic… but even one year of shaky peace is proving that Galbadians simply can't be trusted. Somewhere along the way, we just plain forgot that…
"Loosen up a bit, you look like a rock with legs… and remember, don't even contemplate playing a big hero."
… and whose job was it to drum that into Garden in the first place? Whose job was it to keep Garden's standard high? Slipped up again, Leonhart. The Garden reflects the leader… I guess that means you're all morose, lovelorn fools. Maybe now that I just announced Quistis acting Commander while I'm gone, they'll understand who should've been chosen to lead in the first place. I won't be missed.
"Did you hear me? Don't even think of starting something, Leonhart – we won't tolerate heroics."
And I wish that moronic blockhead of a General would just shut his trap. Pride kept Squall from turning to acknowledge General Mandagul's incessant hissed threats, but even his almost perfectly honed ability to ignore others was being strained, due to the combination of late night events and little sleep which had left him feeling more short-tempered than usual. He automatically clenched his teeth but almost immediately loosened it as he was hit by a complaining ache from his jaw, the result of the action having been repeated once too often. I've met his type before… authority gets to their heads until their hats hardly fit. He's obviously under-appreciated back home if he gets his kicks from talking to the back of my head… huh, I guess Quistis was right – whoever sent him out here's probably hoping he'll get eaten by a Grat before he can get back. That'd be a blessing for both sides.
The mental image of that scenario was enough to turn a corner of Squall's mouth up into the faint beginnings of a smirk, although his face had reverted to its usual slate of comfortable hostility by the time he led the Galbadians to the unlatched gates of the Garden. Traffic was still slow, with the Garden only recently beginning to work itself up to its regular level of busy fervour, and it was unlikely that anyone would be on the path long enough to pay heed to a certain Commander and his Galbadian escort.
"I'll take it from here," Mandagul declared, stepping forward in a manner which reminded Squall of a prancing Mesmerise. Wordlessly, Squall surrendered the lead and fell in behind the General as he passed through the open gates and turned off the well-walked path leading to the sleepy town of Balamb. It came to little surprise to Squall; he had hardly expected the relatively low-key operation to have set up camp in a town which made no bones about their animosity to the Galbadian nation. That led Squall to wonder whether the Galbadians had bothered to moor their sea craft directly into Balamb harbour, or instead chose to disembark on one of the island's solitary beaches. It didn't seem to be an important query, but Squall found himself increasingly latching onto stray thoughts in a bid to detach himself from the undesirable company that he had been laden with…
The thick patch of forest was brilliantly green in the early morning light, and the slight trek though the undergrowth was relatively hindrance-free due to Garden upkeep keeping the vegetation clear. No one spoke, with the silence only broken by the loud crunching of twigs and leaves underfoot as the party made their way through the greenery in single file. Not very careful, this bunch, Squall observed with a disapproving eye, the forest locals would have a field day at the rate this marching band is going. Too bad my weapon has been confiscated, carried by the lout at the back of me with the rest of my gear… The thought made Squall nervous, and he found himself seriously doubting the experience of the Galbadian party when it came to knowledge of Balamb's bestiary. The other half of him however found itself secretly hoping for a diversion of the monster kind, anything to throw a wrench into the seemingly impeccably planned Galbadian operations. Anything to prove to them… to Rinoa… that armour did have chinks. You'll never get over this humiliation, will you? You'd better bite down on that pride before you choke on it… lives are depending on it.
Swallowing hard, Squall pushed aside the branches that hovered at eye level, concentrating on a tiny speck that marred the back of Mandagul's otherwise perfectly starched uniform. The foliage appeared to be thinning, and the feel of the ground beneath Squall's feet was hard packed; evidently, the encampment had to be close judging from the state of the path. As if to confirm his guess, a soft murmur of hushed voices penetrated his hearing, not more than ten feet away. The camouflaged slopes of several erected tents poked above the lowest of the saplings in the way, and with each step, the secluded clearing gradually grew more apparent. Arrayed in horizontal formation across the middle of the grass-strewn area were at least half a dozen Galbadian soldiers, stiff necked and formal in the polished regalia of their home nation. Word of the General's return had obviously spread among them in lieu of his arrival, and the gentle drone of conversation that had disturbed the woodland's quiet ambience had dissipated by the time Mandagul broke through the tree line with much feet stomping and unnecessary ado.
Uncertain whether to follow directly, Squall hesitated just outside the perimeter, although the impatient shove that the Galbadian at his rear applied to his shoulder was enough to convince him otherwise. Stumbling like a gangly fool in front of a line of arrogant dress horses was hardly his idea of a dignified entry, and he felt his face burning as he straightened and strode after the rest of the Galbadians to the centre of the clearing with as much bored repose that he could muster. If the Galbadians found his discomposure amusing, they at least had the discipline not to show it. Instead, their attention simultaneously swivelled to their General who had stationed himself before them, hands casually linked in the small of his back.
"Where is the girl?"
Squall snapped out of his sullen reverie and lifted his hooded eyes from the patterns in the dirt. Selphie? Is she here? Involuntarily, his heart picked up its pace by several beats as he turned to acknowledge a sudden change in the Galbadian formation. Their helmeted heads betrayed no clear emotion, but Squall could have sworn that a sense of… awkwardness pervaded the men's rigid stances as Mandagul's question pierced the air.
Frowning, he watched as the Galbadian line rustled with movement, separating its human seams as the soldiers broke their shoulder contact and sidled apart. Concealed behind the line was a small mountain of baggage, assumedly the travel packs of the men, drab and muddy as they were. That was hardly the focus of attention however; of more concern was the unusually bright and gaudy bulk slumped behind the pile, half hidden from view… most could have been forgiven for mistaking it to be a sunny piece of luggage, but for the fact that it was fully capable of respiration, an ability that it was putting on full display by using a put-out sigh.
"Stand up," Mandagul barked, his coarse voice echoing through the clearing like a rasping squawk.
If he was expecting an undelayed and obedient reaction, he must have been disappointed. The seconds ticked silently by as the order faded away on the inland breeze, only to be replaced by infuriatingly cheerful birdsong somewhere within the depths of the woodland. Several of the Galbadians, who had stepped to the side in even groups, exchanged what might have been sheepish side glances from beneath the cover of their visors as the tension seemed to screw itself even tighter.
"You were given specific orders to be prepared for immediate departure," Mandagul said stonily, his voice having gained a somewhat dangerous edge. "Have your commanding seniors made you SeeDs so dependent as to be continuously spoon fed?"
Squall felt his eyes narrow under the veiled insult, but resisted the urge to rise to the bait. It was evident from another disembodied sigh that Selphie couldn't have cared less, and there was still no indication on her part that she had any intention to budge from her current position. Squall mentally shook his head, slightly confused at her behaviour. I don't recall her being so damn obstinate. Not to mention she'd have bitten that bastard's head off with a couple of choice words by now… it doesn't really matter though. I doubt Mandagul really wants to let this mini war drag on for much longer – he's got a mission to complete after all. Right on cue, the now highly irate General dislodged himself from the front of the Galbadian gathering and marched the few metres between himself and the uncooperative SeeD with wide, threatening strides. The soldiers in his path parted as hastily as a Red Sea, their heads unusually bowed as though not wishing to witness the confrontation about to take place.
With a single hand, Mandagul reached down and grabbed one of Selphie's small shoulders, yanking her to her feet with a smooth motion. Just as quickly, Selphie was seen to stumble, and if not for the General snatching her upper arm she may have tumbled back onto the ground – the unusual display of weakness and reluctance to move on the SeeD's part was suddenly justified by the presence of coarse rope wrapped tightly around her wrists and ankles, rendering her completely immobile.
Restraints? Was that really necessary? Astonishment was soon supplanted with indignation and concern as Squall stared at the offending rope cutting into Selphie's skin. Well, that's the type of backwards brutality we've come to expect from our charming Galbadian cousins. These hicks are going to pay.
"Kinda hard to be obliging when you've been man-handled and trussed up, don't you think?" Selphie snarled, turning now to blast the Galbadian soldiers with an accusing glare which seemed hot enough to melt a block of butter. They didn't seem to be too proud of themselves from the way they refused to look at her, and it looked liked Selphie wasn't the only one present who wasn't impressed – Mandagul's face had taken on a reddish hue, his eyebrows knotted together in a deepening frown. Without further warning, he swept Selphie aside and marched forcefully among the sheepish Galbadians, railing a string of heated words in a clicking national dialect, but there was no mistaking the sound of curses, even in an unknown speech. The forces shrank back into themselves like cowering dogs, with none daring to object or explain before the General's furious display of temper. Unaffected and still alert, Squall noticed the presence of the two Galbadians at his shoulders had vanished, and pinpointed them on the outskirts of the clustered crowd in the clearing where they had positioned themselves to share in the verbal punishment of their comrades.
Time to take advantage of a timely situation… Escape was the last thing on Squall's mind, what with Selphie's welfare taking precedent, not to mention this seemed like a good breathing space in which to try and quickly exchange information on the mission at hand. With furtive but easy movements, Squall set off in a circular motion around the clot of Galbadians, taking care to not move too close to the edge of the tree line to arouse suspicion. There were no shouts of alarm, with the Galbadians either too preoccupied or unbothered to intercept the Commander; the Galbadian's gear came into view, followed by the slouching form of Selphie sitting morosely upon the trampled grass where Mandagul had let her fall. Squall winced at the sight of her, crusted all over with Grat blood and her winged hair bedraggled into a tangled clump, but before he could formulate a word to get her attention she had already raised her head to look him directly in the eye. Selphie's brilliant emerald glare had far from cooled down, burning even more brightly through the dark grime that smudged her high cheek bones, and her chin formed a stubborn looking point. "They're going to take me away – did they cart you over here to convince me too?"
Squall was slightly taken aback by her bluntness, but ducked to her level regardless. "Have they hurt you? Why did they tie you up?"
"Who cares about that?!" Selphie hissed, her eyes flaring even wider with indignation. "I just want to know whose side you're on – have they told you about how Ellone's involved?"
Hyne's ass, you don't even realise what's at stake for us all if you get hurt… cut me some slack for worrying. Ignoring the frustration which was threatening to spill over his tongue, Squall focused instead on the question Selphie had posed. "They didn't, but I was told… indirectly. Look, I just need you to cooperate – there're too many lives riding on your conduct and I wish I could go into details, but we both have to go along with Galbadia's program or…"
"Am I hearing this right?" Selphie snorted with a disbelieving curl of her lips. "We're just going to let these Galbadian jerks push us around again? Give me one good reason why I should spill the beans on Ellone…"
It was Squall's turn to cut her off in mid-speech with the brunt of the urgency in his voice. "What do you mean? Has she contacted you?"
"Well duh, isn't that the reason why I'm the hottest pin-up gal on the block?" Selphie retorted, her green eyes rolling in their sockets.
"Damn it, I don't know…!" Squall exploded as loudly as he dared, causing him to take a wary glance to the right to where Mandagul seemed to be wrapping up his interrogating of the troops. Knowing that it wouldn't be long before visiting hours were over, he turned back towards Selphie's sullen profile, wishing that he had enough time to shake some of the desperation of the situation into her unconvinced self but instead having to resort to the bare facts. "Long story short – we're both going to Esthar. Maybe it has something to do with Ellone, maybe not, but what I do know is that Galbadia is deadly serious and prepared to strike out at a lot of innocent lives if just one of us refuses to budge. Until we find a way to get around it, we'll have to do what they say, so just bear with me when I tell you that there's one hell of a lot at stake if you…"
"And I trust that you respect your senior Commander enough to allow him to convince you out of your mulish ways?" Mandagul's sneering baritone swept across the crouching pair like a rancid wind, causing the two SeeDs to unwittingly jump and simultaneously swivel their heads towards the General's silhouetted bulk. With his hands positioned imperiously upon his hips, his eyes shifted to bore into Selphie's, who was unintimidated enough to offer a challenge of her own in her returning stare. "From what this pathetic bunch of boy scouts have told me, I gather that you've been girlishly difficult in already trying circumstances, not to mention armed with enough childish incentive to contemplate deserting this camp, even when given distinct instructions not to."
"You mean you tried to run away?" Squall hissed discreetly through the corner of his mouth, resisting the instinct to palm his face in his hand.
"Bull shucks!" Selphie chirped loudly with some of her usual spunk, directing her words equally towards Mandagul and her Commander and sticking her chin even further out. "It's not my fault if your little boy band of hard knocks can't handle a l'il ol' Trabia gal like me, but hey, who can blame them for wanting to handle a real cutie at least once in their lives?"
"Selphie, you're not helping matters…" Squall groaned, half closing his eyes in exasperation and shaking his head.
"Enough," Mandagul snapped, far from being amused. "The nonsense stops here, and I won't have this mission being treated in any manner apart from the strict military operation that it is. Although I don't approve of my troops' methods of bringing you to order, considering it nearly breaches the conditions upon which this mission is based, it would appear that your… resistance, so to speak, has justified the decision. Hence Miss Tilmitt, you'll be escorted just as you are on our short trek to our watercraft."
Selphie obviously had some choice words to describe exactly what she thought of that conclusion, but the General had already pivoted to face the Galbadian soldiers behind him who had taken the opportunity to reform their ranks. Barking out several sharp orders, the soldiers were quick to act and were soon scurrying about the clearing dragging down the remaining shelters and sorting out a baggage train. No one initially approached the two out-of-place SeeDs who chose to gaze upon the activity in contemplative silence, with even Selphie at a temporary loss for words.
"I can't walk like this," Selphie suddenly blurted out, staring down helplessly at the rope winding its way around her ankles in a firm knot.
"Or run, at least," Squall said with a perfectly straight face, rubbing at a slight itch above his eyebrow.
"Can you really blame me for trying?" Selphie sniped, flexing her fingers as though loosening up for a solid uppercut to a certain Commander's jaw. "Here I am being dragged out of bed by some doozy of a nightmare only to have to try and save your floating bum from myself and getting covered in Grat goop in the process and not even getting a chance to have a decent bath before a Galbadian goon squad carts me off on some random road trip to Esthar and you think I don't have a pretty damn good reason for wanting to split??" This was all impressively expelled within a single breath, and rounded up with another double shotgun glare which was definitely not inviting any objection. Fortunately, Squall wasn't in any mood to expend energy on verbal swipes or to question the oddities of Selphie's outburst, dismissing it with a small shake of his head and choosing instead to immerse himself in a moody sort of silence as the encampment gradually came apart before his eyes.
"You know, you might not be too concerned with what's been going on at my end of the story…" Selphie's voice abruptly penetrated the space between them once again, relentless and determined as it scratched at his steadily rising wall of nonchalance, "… but in case you haven't figured it out, we're not all grumpy fuddy-duddies around here, and I would like to know how you've been doing up to this point in time since I…" Selphie suddenly faltered as she realised what she was saying. " …I… errr…"
"… clouted me senseless?" Squall finished untactfully, raising himself on his feet and looking towards the array of Galbadians who had only gotten more organised with passing time. The baggage train was lingering at the rear of the final line of troops, and stragglers were already on their way to their rightful positions within the main body. Departure was at hand and there were only two more essentials that needed to be accounted for; Squall allowed himself to adopt a disarmingly leisurely stance as Mandagul, pacing like a predator at the front of the formation, gestured to several soldiers who immediately broke away and spearheaded towards them.
"Wha… who told… oh you cheat, you were awake?! I… arrrggh!!! You know I didn't mean it…! Are you gonna take it out of my salary now? I…"
Selphie cut her spluttering short as she realised that Squall wasn't listening to a single word and at the same time that two long shadows cut across her vision. Whipping her head upwards, she met the visored gaze of a pair of Galbadians with an impatient flick of her head. "What now, brown cow?" she demanded.
Ignoring this, one of the Galbadians inclined and made as if to take Selphie's unoffered hands. "Oi! Paws off until the flag's raised!" Selphie yelped in alarm, scooting out of range as best as she could with the heels of her boots.
"We've been instructed to carry you," the offending Galbadian stated blandly as way of reason, appearing nonplussed by Selphie's rebuff. "Unless you prefer to be dragged, I recommend you start changing your attitude."
"Recommendation noted, and discharged," Selphie huffed, still shying away. "I've had it up to here with all your grubby hands pawing my persona, thankyou very much! I'd… I'd rather hop! Just you see if I don't!" Narrowing her eyes, Selphie's resolve cemented and hardened, for all of the inconvenience of her bravado.
"Problems?" Mandagul's voice drifted their way, carrying a tinge of sarcasm as well as a no-nonsense note. The Galbadian troops had also turned, alerted by Selphie's rather indiscreet complaints. The pair of soldiers standing before Selphie appeared to hesitate, unsure of what type of approach to take in front of their General which would defuse a potentially explosive situation involving a certain uncooperative Yellow Peril.
All of a sudden, Squall found himself speaking into the awkwardness. "I'll do it."
"Do what?" one of the Galbadian pair asked, looking a bit bewildered.
Closing his eyes momentarily at the slow wit of the soldier, Squall shifted his weight impatiently onto one leg and turned to Selphie. "Will you let me carry you?"
"You?! I mean… do you…" she stammered, completely dumbfounded and wide eyed in surprise. However, with amazing resilience, Selphie's astonished gape instantaneously melted away and was replaced with a triumphant smirk. "You see? All you had to do was ask," she drawled at the rejected Galbadians, who appeared confused by the speed at which they were being steadily pushed out of the picture. Selphie now looked positively delighted. "Yes Squall, you may!"
Ye Gods, I've been turned into a Lady-of-Waiting… Squall permitted himself to take a lengthy breath, and proceeded to exhale slowly and leisurely. She's definitely not making this easy… for allies and enemies alike. But from the look of things, if I don't intervene, we'll all be on our death beds by the time this mission gets rolling. Feeling more composed, Squall stepped forward and extended a gloved hand, pulling Selphie to her feet in a more easy fashion than the General had before – it helped though that Selphie actually wanted to get up this time instead of doing her best impression of a sack of spuds. The snubbed Galbadians hastily retreated several steps as Selphie straightened and warned them away with her glower power before Squall tucked a supporting hand in the small of her back, and then collected her lower half behind her knees to sweep her up into his arms.
"Tee hee, you're good at this!" Selphie giggled for Squall's ears only, grandly looping her arms around his neck as she put on a show of a stately noblewoman. His bored expression did not waver, but the telltale indication of a light blush dusting his cheeks gave his inner embarrassment away. "Keep it up and I'll drop you," he whispered with an accompanying scowl, trying to feign indifference.
"If I fall, I'm taking you down with me," Selphie countered, yanking the ruff of Squall's jacket for added effect. "What are you waiting for? Lets get in line!" The Galbadians were still waiting, with more than one fidgeting from the timely delay brought upon them by the two SeeDs. Mandagul however chose to express his irritation more vocally. "Will there be anymore whining, girls and ladies?" he smarmed, his accusing eyes sweeping first over his assembled soldiers and then settling hard upon Squall and Selphie. Suddenly, his sour expression lifted into an even less appealing sardonic grin as he took in the sight of Squall laden with his female burden. "Taking your duty seriously from step one, Commander? At least someone here's not into fun and games." Selphie, who was concentrating hard not to blink under the General's stare, turned back to look at Squall with a quizzical expression, not understanding Mandagul's enigmatic remark. Before she could inquire about it though, the General signalled wordlessly to his troops and all at once they were filing out of the clearing in a neat and orderly line, being swallowed one by one by the rich greenery of the woodland.
The two Galbadians who had been badly received by Selphie had not joined their fellows, and instead stepped around Squall and pushed him between the shoulder blades. "We'll be bringing up the rear of the line…" one of them explained matter-of-factly, "... so walk."
Obediently, Squall shuffled forward, slightly off balance from the human load that he was carrying but Selphie's frame was small and did not encumber him badly. He felt her arms automatically tighten around his neck as he moved, her face near enough to his own for him to detect a sprinkle of light coloured freckles dappling the bridge of her elegant nose. Selphie's penetrating green eyes were cloaked beneath her lashes, for once not trying to read the story that he carried around in his face… and deep within, Squall felt unusually self conscious as he stepped over the clearing's perimeter and crossed the tree line with the Galbadian pair in close, watchful tow… unusually… aware of Selphie's warm breath as it gently tickled his ear, the lithe curves of her petite form pressing against his attire and the warmth of her skin which he could feel even through the thick leather of his gloves.
I haven't been this close to any girl for so long… not since… since…
He couldn't bring himself to finish the thought, sensing the familiar stab of pain in the recesses of his gut. Unfortunately for Squall his discomfort must have reflected itself through his face or body movements, as Selphie turned those bright eyes upon him and screwed up her mouth as though thinking. "Everything a-okay in there?" she asked, gesturing to some random spot on his forehead.
No. Nothing's okay. It's been that way for ages, but what would you care? What would everyone care… I can deal with my problems by myself. I was better off before I met you all, before I met… her. I can stand on my own feet. I don't need anyone… and I only need you to set things right… Esthar's problems, and mine. You'll see. I'm doing what's best for everyone.
Squall may have been furiously thinking this, but of course did not voice it. The ambiguous grunt which he decided upon was obviously not up to Selphie's standards when it came to replies, but she chose not to press the subject… for about five seconds. "You're worried about Ellone, aren't you?" she whispered, her voice barely detectable over the heavy footsteps of Squall and the Galbadians. "Well don't. If she's been able to communicate with me lately, it means she's okay doesn't it? And even if something's wrong, we'll just head for Esthar, bust Galbadia's chops and be crowned heroes for the day, just like last time. These guys are pushovers for SeeDs like us, right?"
Dear Hyne, I don't know how or when I can let you out of the dark… it pained Squall to hear Selphie speak of the situation so naively and the lump of guilt that was weighing on his conscious grew even heavier, but deep down he knew that explaining the finer details was something that he couldn't bring himself to do, or something that he would risk doing. I can't just tell her why we're en route to Esthar… she'd never stand for it, and then where would that leave us? I said it myself – there're too many lives riding on Selphie to give her reason to leave. I can't just let her jeopardise the mission, even though…
"No one even asked me whether I wanted to go to Esthar in the first place," Selphie murmured out of the blue. Squall managed to swallow his surprise before it gave him away. Damn it, am I thinking too loud? For once not noticing Squall's lapse of composure, Selphie carried on. "I'm just expected to go along with no say… it's kinda annoying being treated like that, y'know?"
It was getting even harder to prevent the boulder-like proportions of his inner guilt from infecting his expression, but through force of will, Squall pushed it back temporarily before he formulated a reply. "You should be used to it by now. As SeeDs, it comes with the job."
"No talking!" One of the Galbadians snapped; somehow he had picked up on the whispered messages passing between the two SeeDs in front of him despite the crunching of leaves and twigs raised by their movements. Unperturbed, Selphie shifted in Squall's arms and poked her head over the arch of his left shoulder. "Mind your own business!" she rejoined cuttingly, and with steely conviction. Shocked into silence, the soldier did not reply at once, and Selphie bought the opportunity to calmly settle back into her original position against Squall's chest.
"Yeah, I know, but it just feels different this time," she whispered as though the rude interruption had never occurred. "It feels… personal. Probably because Ellone is involved. That's probably why they made you come along too…" Squall made no move to correct Selphie's account and held his tongue. Let her believe what she wants… it makes things easier for me in the long run…
"… which means Quisty's running the Garden now, right? Was that what you were announcing over the intercom?" Squall nodded in a non-committal fashion, focusing on not tripping over any rocks or roots as he waded through a slightly thicker part of the undergrowth.
"Ehhh… don't worry, I'm just rambling," Selphie ended with a wry smile, and gave Squall a sheepish look. "Either way we're going, and at least I'm getting a free ride!" She elbowed Squall playfully and he couldn't help the corner of his mouth starting to curve into a miniscule smile, although his dark thoughts were enough to dampen any display of humour on his part.
Suddenly, Selphie was heard to sigh, and the smile on her face seemed to shift in favour of a contented expression. "This feels… nice," she said beneath her breath, so softly that Squall was unsure whether he was supposed to have heard the words, but the fact remained that he had, and he found himself unsure how to respond – or to feel. It didn't matter though, as Selphie surprised him once again by nestling her head upon his shoulder in an almost affectionate fashion; her eyes had closed and at first he thought she was going to catch up on some much needed sleep, but silence and inaction were two things which Selphie did not list in her vocabulary of most commonly comprehended words. "I know we aren't the best of friends…" she said, keeping her voice low and her eyes shut, "… but I've still known you a long time, and I trust you. That's why I'm letting you carry me… and why I'm going to Esthar even though I don't want to."
It was a shock to Squall's system to hear Selphie speak so plaintively without the words 'Festival' and 'Committee' included in the sentence, and he didn't trust himself to say anything meaningful to express his acknowledgment of Selphie's words. His legs felt a lot heavier than he was used to them feeling, and he figured it had something to do with the nervous tension which was squeezing his stomach with iron claws.
You may end up having to eat those words.
Now feeling an undesirable sensation which matched his conviction that he was the lowest of all ratbags, Squall stole a look at the cause of the sensation who was currently being cradled in the arbour of his arms. For all the horridness he was experiencing within, Selphie in comparison was a yellow-clad paragon of relaxation, her eyes shuttered, tiny lips slightly parting with each exhalation of air and the spunk which she wore like a mantle now hidden below an aura of restfulness. Her arms were still firmly wrapped around his neck, fingers curled around the nape and lightly tangled in threads of his hair. Squall had lost count of the number of times he'd felt strange and conflicting feelings that morning, and as he gazed down at Selphie's serene face, he knew that it was time to add another notch to the tally.
This feels familiar, and I don't know why. The way she's… touching me. In spite of himself he felt himself starting to redden, and he finally found himself able to appreciate the fact that the Galbadians, by walking behind, weren't able to detect the deepening cracks in his wintry visage. The fingers resting upon his skin were warm and dry… inert, but vibrating with life and… and… tenderness?
Tenderness. That touch in the Void…!
Squall recalled the honeyed warmth that had accompanied that single, but remarkable sensation within the bleak shadows of the screaming void and despite the fact that it was now only a memory, he shuddered in reaction. Something had changed, something had shifted in his ego, and he wasn't sure what… but it wasn't a completely unwelcome alteration. He just wished he knew what it was. Somehow, you reached me shortly after I fell into the void… but how? And then you disappeared… Squall shook his head, not any closer to the answers which he was searching for. What does it all mean?
He dragged his eyes away from Selphie for a moment to step carefully over a large, protruding root along the path, but his gaze was irresistibly drawn back to the unique combination of girlish charm and hardened military discipline which was etched upon Selphie's face; he looked at her, as though trying to find solutions in the gentle curves and contours of her features. He could feel her, those warm bare fingers twining their lengths through his hair.
What was it that you said…?
He reflected.
Trust. You're doing what you're doing because… you trust me.
It was tempting to berate himself for what he would have to do at journey's end which would make a mockery of that revelation, but there was more than once facet that he could turn to.
You may not know it now… but you're trusting me with your life. I won't let that trust down… I'll keep you safe. I'll do what I should have done a long time ago for the ones closest to me. I'll atone.
Squall could not help the interjection of another inevitable thought.
… and I'll need to use you to atone as well.
He knew it was terrible, but he could not help feeling the way that he did and he was feeling too drained to fight the thought away. It was with some relief then that Squall suddenly realised that the trees were thinning, reduced to small clumps rather than forming one connective body of vegetation, and the blue sky above was becoming steadily more visible with each passing step. The increasing level of sunlight upon Selphie's eyelids seemed to stir her awake from her brief doze, and she half opened her eyes only to scrunch them shut again.
"We're on the plains," Squall informed her before she could lapse back into slumber, "The coastline is near, so you'd better get ready to start moving again."
"Already…?" Selphie groaned, forcing herself to blink several times. With watery eyes, she quickly glanced about her as though half hoping that Squall was in the wrong. "Fudge and fiddlesticks, I hope there's a shower wherever we're headed…" she muttered, sniffing herself disdainfully.
"So do I," Squall said without thinking. That remark seemed to wake Selphie up more efficiently than a splash of cold water, and she narrowed her eyes in mock anger. "Brave words coming from an open sewer with legs," she retorted, pretending to gag on whatever imagined fumes were emanating from her Commander. "I should've hit you harder, you cad… oops."
"Forget it," Squall said initially. Then on impulse, he made an addition. "I trust you had good reason."
He gave her an intentionally knowing look, whereupon Selphie appeared puzzled by his unusual display of good temper – good for Squall anyway. But seeing that he was in earnest, her face slowly lit up with an elated grin. "Wow, I got away with that one pretty easily!" she giggled, leaning back in relief and looking a lot less worried about life.
Rolling his eyes, Squall updated himself on the surrounding landscape and felt the ground underfoot beginning to slope on a vertical trajectory; the grass was growing sparser, replaced with gritty clots of brown sand and there was a certain cloying moisture on the thermals of the breeze. As if to confirm his guess that the destination had been reached, the main body of Galbadian troops who had consistently stayed in his line of vision now materialised behind a crest, at a standstill upon the shifting sands as the baggage train worked at loading their burdens into the moderately sized sea craft which was beached upon the sea-soaked shore. It appeared to be a well used military-issued vehicle, its sides crusted with uncleaned salty residue and its dark blue coating of paint chipped and peeling in several places, but roomy enough to accommodate each soldier and maybe a couple more. It seemed sturdy enough; Squall had no wish to find himself sinking into the briny sea due to shoddy maritime transportation. He navigated the final dune and trudged across the fine white sand, feet sinking as the fragile grains collapsed under his and Selphie's combined weight. He finally halted a few meters away from the soldier furthest from the back of the group; no one seemed to be concerned enough to show the SeeDs some form of recognition, and the Galbadian soldiers at their back silently stopped with them, still guarding the rear.
Conversation had dried up between Squall and Selphie upon arrival, and even as Squall watched the last of the bags being passed along the baggage line, he could feel the coarse fraying rope around Selphie's wrists scraping against the bare skin of his neck; her fingers had come alive and were fidgeting with restlessness.
"Do you want me to put you down now?" Squall asked, interpreting Selphie's unease as an indication that she needed to stretch her limbs.
She seemed lost in thought, and it took a few seconds for her to realise that Squall had directed a question her way. "Oh! Um, sure," she said vaguely, her blank stare flicking away from the direction of the inner mainland and landing on Squall's face. "Your arms must be tired by now… you should have a break."
Now it's my turn to ask what's going on in your head… Selphie seemed unusually preoccupied all of a sudden, but first things first – taking care not to relax the support of his left hand in the small of her back, Squall carefully lowered Selphie onto the sand feet first, and only then shifted his remaining hand to her shoulder to steady her on the uneven surface. She took his support gratefully, her legs trembling with the effects of sluggish circulation. Lowering his arms, Squall felt Selphie's warmth that had spread through his garments linger, and then gradually dissipate on the ocean's winds leaving something like an alien emptiness where it used to be. He wasn't sure whether to feel bothered by it, and so opted not to dwell on it.
In that short space of time, the slam of the cover of the vehicle's luggage carrier rang through the air as metal collided against metal, followed by more orders from Mandagul whereupon the first of the troops proceeded along the gangway, ducking out of sight as they entered the bowels of the watercraft. With departure closer at hand, Selphie appeared to grow even more restive as she fiddled nervously with a loose button on the front of her dress, and shifted from foot to foot in a miniature hole her movements had already drilled into the loose sand.
"Are you afraid?" Squall asked straight out, feeling a twinge of worry at the prospect of Selphie having second thoughts about the mission so close to its commencement.
Selphie's head snapped up with affront. "Why should I be?" she said with some disbelief, although the anxious crease in her brow ceased to iron itself out. She did not hold Squall's questioning gaze, her eyes subtly flickering to the side as though attempting to look behind her.
"Or have you left something behind?" Squall tried again. He checked the Galbadian troops with a glance; the third and fourth lines were boarding, leaving only two more to go. Selphie's eyes were also trained upon them and she looked to hesitate, as though deciding to attempt speech where she would originally have settled for silence.
"I didn't say goodbye," Selphie finally sighed, head bowed with disappointment. She scuffed at the sand with the toe of her boot, kicking up a golden cloud around her feet. "I don't know how long we'll be gone for, or if we'll… well…"
Squall nodded, indicating that the sentence did not have to be completed. He knew the feeling well enough to be able to finish it himself.
… or if we'll even make it back.
No words of reassurance fought for space on the tip of Squall's tongue, and he found himself drawing a blank in the wake of Selphie's confession. And you know the exact reason why, don't you Leonhart? Her fears aren't unfounded. When she enters Esthar, she just might never leave. But she doesn't know that. She doesn't need to know. Not now, not now… what matters is she gets there, that's all that matters, you have to get her there…
"All that matters…" Squall murmured, a soft echo of his internal determination.
"What?" Selphie asked, not quite catching his words and confusing them with a message intended for her.
Squall blinked several times as though rousing himself from the thralls of a trance and he cleared his throat uncomfortably, realising from Selphie's wide-eyed look that she was expecting him to speak.
"It's probably better not to… say goodbye," Squall muttered, recovering quickly, while at the same time noting that the last line of troops was bunching up around the gangplank. "It just seems too final."
Before Selphie could reply, General Mandagul, who had remained on the beach to supervise the boarding of his division, now gave an impatient call their way. The vessel's engine could be heard ever so audibly as it hummed gently underneath the rolling waves while the crew within its cabin gave the rudders an experimental turn to loosen the gears, sending a sheet of white foam to the surface where it bubbled away along the currents. Wordlessly, Squall stooped and tugged at the knot constricting Selphie's ankles. The rope loosened its grip in his hand and he carelessly flung it away into a nearby dune, upon which he gave Selphie a small push as he himself started forward.
"I won't say goodbye then…" Selphie suddenly whispered, even as Mandagul came within possible earshot and even as the crunching of sand was replaced with the hollow beat of her heels against the gangplank wood. "I'm going to come back, damn it…" She paused in the middle of her ascent, seized by an additional thought which saw her contemplative frown turn upwards into a jovial grin. "… and I'm gonna throw the best festival yet, right Squall?! As of now, you've been made an honourable Committee member, after myself of course!"
"Get on board, and be quiet," Mandagul barked from where he stood on the sand.
"Oh, you're just jealous 'cause you're too old to have fun anymore," Selphie quipped with a spark of her former self, skipping the last few steps towards the door of the vessel with her bound hands bouncing ahead of her. On impulse, she turned one last time before she ducked through the opening. "Wanna be on the Committee? I've got an old classics band number all planned out and I could do with a good tuba player…"
"Get on!!"
Close behind, clopping along the stretch of timber above the rumbling surf, Squall noted Selphie's mischievous giggle and watched with a considerable amount of relief as she finally entered the watercraft without any further fuss. This is it – from here on in, there'll be no retreating… and no room for error. Let's hope we're as up to the task as everybody thinks we are…
The crescendo of the breaking waves seemed to roar an affirmation, throwing up a fine spray of droplets as the beaches of Balamb conveyed their own goodbyes. Wiping the salty moisture clinging to his sleeves, Squall returned the gesture with a grim set of his mouth and took the final steps of his boarding with a down-turned stare. Somehow, he didn't fully trust himself not to look back and commit the serenity to memory. The knowledge of what was festering under the face of that placidity was already insulting, but knowing that he was to play a part in the maintenance of the façade was shaming every bone in his body.
Hyne forgive me…
The clang of the door behind his ear rang through the air in a flat reply to his silent plea.
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Whew! I broke my previous word count record with this chapter, which is 11.5 thousand words long… @___@ I'm glad I was finally able to share it with you guys and gals, and I hope you all liked it. ^^ This was my first opportunity to experiment with interaction between Squall and Selphie and I'm open to any scenarios that you want to see occur between them in the following chapters, so let me know if there's something you'd like to read and I'll see if I can incorporate it in the story! :D *Gets her pen and paper ready*
And without further ado, a few thankyous are in order… ^^
Coca-Cola: Funny you should mention that actually… you can all expect some GF action in the next chapter! *Never leave home without one!* ^~ And I had no plans to make them speak on a human level, so no problems there. ^^
CTHSKI – LOL, now that's an interesting scenario that I'd love to include! :D I'll be definitely making them stop off at a town somewhere along the way, so that'd be a good excuse… ;) *evil laughter*
Sayeesa – I thanked you before in an e-mail but it doesn't mean I can't thank you again for that quality review! ^__^ I'll be keeping all of your suggestions in mind, and you can definitely expect a more perky Selphie in the next chapters! *Sets to work*
Zero-Vision – G'day dude, I just did my own falling-back-into-Fanfiction impression so don't feel bad about the absence! ^__^;; *Just took the word absence to all new heights* X__X Lol, the way you described Squall made me think of a dad giving away his daughter at a wedding… :D and you're right, he's definitely going to have a blast when he finally fesses up. XD I'll definitely be looking forward to writing that part! *Plots evilly*
Elcyion – thankyou so much for putting up with my rambling and having a read, and I hope you'll also like what I have planned for part 2! ^__^ *Gives you jellybeans*
Garnet – Hello again dear! :D As you can see, my update has arrived at last, albeit several months late… @___@ *hits self* I probably won't be getting any more punctual, but I can at least try… ^^;; anyhoo, welcome back, and hooray for the not-so-common Squalfies! ^__^
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And that's all for now, folks! :D An update probably won't be for another little while because I've got exams and a whole lotta work to deal with all the way up to the middle of June, but I'll probably be taking time out in between to work on the next chapter. ^^ Take care everybody, and in the words of Arnie, "Arl be bak!" XD
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COMING UP NEXT: Things take a dramatic turn as an innocent sea trip turns into an all out brawl fest – but how on earth could everything go wrong so quickly? Expect a bit of a dip into action, although I won't be changing the genres. ^^ I'll see you there!