Disclaimer: Don't own YuGiOh.
Authoress Notes: Have you ever written a story... and you absolutely loved it. You were proud of the plotline, proud of your characters, and most of all, proud that you had made it so far. Then, the inevitable happens: Writer's Block. No, I'm not talking about the Writer's Block everyone SAYS they have when it's really an excuse to just not continue their story because they're lazy. It's the Writer's Block that takes a huge steel BRICK and slams it in front of your brain, blocking the once artistic vision that you, as a writer, once had.
I, Kitzaku, am one such victim to the steel brick symptom of the Writer's Block. Any implication I had of continuing this fic to it's end had suddenly and hopelessly died. I can't even think of what I could possibly write next that isn't some complete and total failure. I read somewhere that it's always hard to continue a story when people loved the other chapters so well. How are you supposed to compare to something? It's always hard to keep advancing, when you don't even know where you're advancing to.
I reread this little ficlet. Then I reread it again and realized that I have nothing. How am I supposed to continue this?
I had a few ideas, but I didn't like them. Mostly because I can't stand Yugi or Jou and I had somehow crammed them into this fanfic in the first place. Otogi is the only reason that I am still a YuGiOh fangirl, but I don't want to pair him up with someone that I now hate. I want him with the other reason that I watch YuGiOh. Honda. How am I supposed to fit Honda into this story NOW that I have Otogi in love with Jou?
I thought for a second, I know! I'll just make Otogi realize that he's in lust with Jou, but that's not what he really wanted! Jou runs off with Seto and they have puppies together. And Ryou? I didn't want to torture the poor kid by having his nonexistant love for Otogi to just kind of be SHUNNED out of existance so I decided:
This is the final chapter of the Roll of the Dice. Nothing is really resolved unless everyone grows old and dies. Only then do you really know the answer to the end of a story. A story can still keep going in the time that it was written, no one will know, though. It continues off the pages. so technically speaking, you can leave a story wherever you want and it can still run it's course.
Of course, no one likes that approach because everyone wants to know what went on. Here is the aftermath of all the previous chapters and the slight incidences occuring. Written in Otogi's POV.
**A Roll of the Dice**
***The Final Chapter, and stuff***
It's odd how in such a short time someone's mood can change from wanting to disapear from the face of the planet, to being happy that you're alive and surround by people that know how to show you a good time.
Even if all those people won't leave you alone.
You don't know how many times I've caught Ryou staring at me endlessly while he worked in my store. It was rather flattering at first, I'll have to admit. Yet after a few thousand times of watching him look away quickly, it got on my nerves. Worst of all, hardly any work was getting done. It was as if once he told me how he felt, all his work motivation turned into jelly. I think I liked it better when he was trying to impress me with his mad communication skills and dealing with the customers.
Now it seems like he kept scaring all the customers just by looking at them. It was almost as if he did it just so he could be alone with me. Once he had succeeded in that fact he'd make some small talk like, "Wow, it sure isn't busy today."
Weird.
Jou and Yugi show up more frequently now. Jou moreso than Yugi. I sort of miss the smaller boy, because whenever he's around, Jou tends to behave a little bit more. Jou coming in alone is no longer this wonderful event that I look forward to.
It all started with him sitting on the counter after coming in from the rain and leaving a nice sexy little Jou buttprint on them. Ryou was more furious than I seeing as he had just waxed the poor thing.
From there it went to him being obnoxious and telling off customers, to him breaking things in my store or knocking over shelves. I could even swear he did a few things just to make Ryou go and clean it all up and he could have a word with me alone.
Jou's "private talks" were hardly even talks. I remember the first time we had shared a kiss. It wasn't even particularily that memorable now that I look back on it. At the time I would have done anything for Jou, he was like this angel that I never knew was in front of me. I know now that I was only desparate for someone to love me and I would give myself to them. Why Jou had to be that person, I don't know. Yugi showed me more compassion than Jou did from the start, anyway. Right?
But what is said and done has been said and done. I'd say that I regret it all, but when I remember how I felt when it was first occuring, I didn't regret it then, did I? Everyone has to go through different experiences to build the kind of person that they are today. Once I realized that if I go out with someone, that doesn't necessarily seal us together forever. Eventually our differences will be too much and we will no longer be together. So why even go out with someone in the first place? It's like the great Shakespeare had it, "In love with being in love."
So when I told Jou that I didn't think our secret meetings and late night visits to each other's houses no longer felt special and I needed to just get some space from him, he didn't understand. How could he understand, though? No one really understands how you feel, only you do, because you are the one feeling how you feel. I didn't understand his feelings at the time, either. But I had a pretty good idea, as I'm sure he had one about me. Whether that was negative or positive is really up to him, now.
As for Seto Kaiba. I made the deal with him and I'm reaping the benefits from it. Kaiba's a little upset that he had offered 50/50 and could get any more out of the deal, especially since I refused to get into a situation that would allow him to have his way with me. It was amusing, I thought. He liked to fill my head with interesting facts and numbers regarding business. He'd always say things like, "You and me, Otogi. We're alike. We're not like Yugi and those miscreants. We know how to make it in the world."
Then he'd try something ludicrous like trying to reach inside my pants.
It's also odd how, right when I think my entire life is awesome, I had this great guy by my side, who I could share things with. IE: Jou. I also had a wonderful coworker who would do anything I so commanded, but he still had this creepy dark side to him. IE: Ryou. Then I had a creepy rapist business partner. IE: Kaiba.
I found it all very amusing.
Honda did, too.
Honda arrived in my shop one day, reminding me about the Dungeon Dice Monsters game that I played against Yugi. He also reminded me that I promised to show him how to play the game. I didn't point out the fact that I was practically teaching him the rules when I was battling Yugi. Instead, I gave him a smile and told him that I did remember that promise and I'd hold true to that word.
So three times a week, Honda would come to my shop and I'd teach him the fundamentals of Dungeon Dice Monsters. Despite everyone thinking he was as dumb as a rock, he was a surprisingly fast learner. In a few short weeks he was already at the level of winning an amateur tounrament. I was proud of him.
We came to be close friends, too. Closer than Ryou, Yugi, Jou and Kaiba all were to me. I was surprised to find out that he, too, felt left out and ignored by the people that he called friends. Yugi and Jou were constantly hanging around each other, dueling and ranting about being best buds. Honda felt left out, especially since he and Jou used to be inseparable. Not even Anzu seemed to want to hang around Honda anymore.
I didn't just "hang" out with him because I felt sorry for the guy. No, he was a true friend to me and I liked him. We didn't talk about Duel Monsters, instead, we came up with ideas for Dungeon Dice Monsters together.
He even liked my idea of the lavendar dice.
I realized that, I wasn't looking for love. Technically, I was looking for a love that I didn't know I could get. I thought I was looking for the lust love that I shared with Jounouchi, that Kaiba tried to share with me, and that Ryou had implied. I didn't need any of that, and I don't think I really do. Sure, you might see me walking along with my arm around some girl. But that's to be expected, right? I'm the inventor of a worldwide hit game, and my ego won't let me forget that.
I needed the love of a friend.
I'm not afraid to say that I love Honda. You can take that in any way that you want to. I realized that after my fallout with Jounouchi, I never felt complete, and now I do. Honda was this missing link that sort of appeared from no where, but I accepted him with open arms. I can talk to him and he'd understand, or at least make this effort to try and understand it. I know he probably won't sometimes, as I had said before. Only you truly know what you feel.
Most of all, he knows what it's like to feel left out. Together, we're no longer left out, and that's how I always want it to be. I like being around him, and I don't want to turn this into some romantic love interest.
Because, everyone knows that friendship last longer than love.
I rolled life's dice and after getting an entire row of lucky numbers sevens, it handed me the hardest roll of them all. I took that roll and I kept it. I took what life threw at me and I'm satisfied.
Snake eyes.
-----
Owari
...how many of you actually sat through and read that whole thing?
Authoress Notes: Have you ever written a story... and you absolutely loved it. You were proud of the plotline, proud of your characters, and most of all, proud that you had made it so far. Then, the inevitable happens: Writer's Block. No, I'm not talking about the Writer's Block everyone SAYS they have when it's really an excuse to just not continue their story because they're lazy. It's the Writer's Block that takes a huge steel BRICK and slams it in front of your brain, blocking the once artistic vision that you, as a writer, once had.
I, Kitzaku, am one such victim to the steel brick symptom of the Writer's Block. Any implication I had of continuing this fic to it's end had suddenly and hopelessly died. I can't even think of what I could possibly write next that isn't some complete and total failure. I read somewhere that it's always hard to continue a story when people loved the other chapters so well. How are you supposed to compare to something? It's always hard to keep advancing, when you don't even know where you're advancing to.
I reread this little ficlet. Then I reread it again and realized that I have nothing. How am I supposed to continue this?
I had a few ideas, but I didn't like them. Mostly because I can't stand Yugi or Jou and I had somehow crammed them into this fanfic in the first place. Otogi is the only reason that I am still a YuGiOh fangirl, but I don't want to pair him up with someone that I now hate. I want him with the other reason that I watch YuGiOh. Honda. How am I supposed to fit Honda into this story NOW that I have Otogi in love with Jou?
I thought for a second, I know! I'll just make Otogi realize that he's in lust with Jou, but that's not what he really wanted! Jou runs off with Seto and they have puppies together. And Ryou? I didn't want to torture the poor kid by having his nonexistant love for Otogi to just kind of be SHUNNED out of existance so I decided:
This is the final chapter of the Roll of the Dice. Nothing is really resolved unless everyone grows old and dies. Only then do you really know the answer to the end of a story. A story can still keep going in the time that it was written, no one will know, though. It continues off the pages. so technically speaking, you can leave a story wherever you want and it can still run it's course.
Of course, no one likes that approach because everyone wants to know what went on. Here is the aftermath of all the previous chapters and the slight incidences occuring. Written in Otogi's POV.
**A Roll of the Dice**
***The Final Chapter, and stuff***
It's odd how in such a short time someone's mood can change from wanting to disapear from the face of the planet, to being happy that you're alive and surround by people that know how to show you a good time.
Even if all those people won't leave you alone.
You don't know how many times I've caught Ryou staring at me endlessly while he worked in my store. It was rather flattering at first, I'll have to admit. Yet after a few thousand times of watching him look away quickly, it got on my nerves. Worst of all, hardly any work was getting done. It was as if once he told me how he felt, all his work motivation turned into jelly. I think I liked it better when he was trying to impress me with his mad communication skills and dealing with the customers.
Now it seems like he kept scaring all the customers just by looking at them. It was almost as if he did it just so he could be alone with me. Once he had succeeded in that fact he'd make some small talk like, "Wow, it sure isn't busy today."
Weird.
Jou and Yugi show up more frequently now. Jou moreso than Yugi. I sort of miss the smaller boy, because whenever he's around, Jou tends to behave a little bit more. Jou coming in alone is no longer this wonderful event that I look forward to.
It all started with him sitting on the counter after coming in from the rain and leaving a nice sexy little Jou buttprint on them. Ryou was more furious than I seeing as he had just waxed the poor thing.
From there it went to him being obnoxious and telling off customers, to him breaking things in my store or knocking over shelves. I could even swear he did a few things just to make Ryou go and clean it all up and he could have a word with me alone.
Jou's "private talks" were hardly even talks. I remember the first time we had shared a kiss. It wasn't even particularily that memorable now that I look back on it. At the time I would have done anything for Jou, he was like this angel that I never knew was in front of me. I know now that I was only desparate for someone to love me and I would give myself to them. Why Jou had to be that person, I don't know. Yugi showed me more compassion than Jou did from the start, anyway. Right?
But what is said and done has been said and done. I'd say that I regret it all, but when I remember how I felt when it was first occuring, I didn't regret it then, did I? Everyone has to go through different experiences to build the kind of person that they are today. Once I realized that if I go out with someone, that doesn't necessarily seal us together forever. Eventually our differences will be too much and we will no longer be together. So why even go out with someone in the first place? It's like the great Shakespeare had it, "In love with being in love."
So when I told Jou that I didn't think our secret meetings and late night visits to each other's houses no longer felt special and I needed to just get some space from him, he didn't understand. How could he understand, though? No one really understands how you feel, only you do, because you are the one feeling how you feel. I didn't understand his feelings at the time, either. But I had a pretty good idea, as I'm sure he had one about me. Whether that was negative or positive is really up to him, now.
As for Seto Kaiba. I made the deal with him and I'm reaping the benefits from it. Kaiba's a little upset that he had offered 50/50 and could get any more out of the deal, especially since I refused to get into a situation that would allow him to have his way with me. It was amusing, I thought. He liked to fill my head with interesting facts and numbers regarding business. He'd always say things like, "You and me, Otogi. We're alike. We're not like Yugi and those miscreants. We know how to make it in the world."
Then he'd try something ludicrous like trying to reach inside my pants.
It's also odd how, right when I think my entire life is awesome, I had this great guy by my side, who I could share things with. IE: Jou. I also had a wonderful coworker who would do anything I so commanded, but he still had this creepy dark side to him. IE: Ryou. Then I had a creepy rapist business partner. IE: Kaiba.
I found it all very amusing.
Honda did, too.
Honda arrived in my shop one day, reminding me about the Dungeon Dice Monsters game that I played against Yugi. He also reminded me that I promised to show him how to play the game. I didn't point out the fact that I was practically teaching him the rules when I was battling Yugi. Instead, I gave him a smile and told him that I did remember that promise and I'd hold true to that word.
So three times a week, Honda would come to my shop and I'd teach him the fundamentals of Dungeon Dice Monsters. Despite everyone thinking he was as dumb as a rock, he was a surprisingly fast learner. In a few short weeks he was already at the level of winning an amateur tounrament. I was proud of him.
We came to be close friends, too. Closer than Ryou, Yugi, Jou and Kaiba all were to me. I was surprised to find out that he, too, felt left out and ignored by the people that he called friends. Yugi and Jou were constantly hanging around each other, dueling and ranting about being best buds. Honda felt left out, especially since he and Jou used to be inseparable. Not even Anzu seemed to want to hang around Honda anymore.
I didn't just "hang" out with him because I felt sorry for the guy. No, he was a true friend to me and I liked him. We didn't talk about Duel Monsters, instead, we came up with ideas for Dungeon Dice Monsters together.
He even liked my idea of the lavendar dice.
I realized that, I wasn't looking for love. Technically, I was looking for a love that I didn't know I could get. I thought I was looking for the lust love that I shared with Jounouchi, that Kaiba tried to share with me, and that Ryou had implied. I didn't need any of that, and I don't think I really do. Sure, you might see me walking along with my arm around some girl. But that's to be expected, right? I'm the inventor of a worldwide hit game, and my ego won't let me forget that.
I needed the love of a friend.
I'm not afraid to say that I love Honda. You can take that in any way that you want to. I realized that after my fallout with Jounouchi, I never felt complete, and now I do. Honda was this missing link that sort of appeared from no where, but I accepted him with open arms. I can talk to him and he'd understand, or at least make this effort to try and understand it. I know he probably won't sometimes, as I had said before. Only you truly know what you feel.
Most of all, he knows what it's like to feel left out. Together, we're no longer left out, and that's how I always want it to be. I like being around him, and I don't want to turn this into some romantic love interest.
Because, everyone knows that friendship last longer than love.
I rolled life's dice and after getting an entire row of lucky numbers sevens, it handed me the hardest roll of them all. I took that roll and I kept it. I took what life threw at me and I'm satisfied.
Snake eyes.
-----
Owari
...how many of you actually sat through and read that whole thing?