Kids forever?!?!
"Dear class, today we will greet another student in our class. She just moved to Tokyo. Please be nice to her. Come in dear!" the teacher said to the open door. A petit girl walked in, closing the door behind her and standing next to the teacher.
"AW, is she cuuuttteee!" Conan heared Genta say.
"Class, this, is Ran Kudo."
Conan`s hand slipped and his head hit the table, hard.
'WHAT THE - ?!?'
Chapter 2
~Unbearable loss~
"Hello Ran" the whole class chanted in unison. The girl waved shyly.
"So dear, let`s see where to seat you. Oh look, in front Ai- chan there is an empty seat." The teacher gestured at the place next to Genta.
The girl walked over to the place and sat down. The teacher smiled pleased, turned around and went on with the reading.
"Okay, we will continue with what we have started last time. We began to multiply. Let`s see. Can anybody tell me what 7 times 3 is? Yes dear?...." The teacher started talking with the class and writing on the table.
Conan couldn`t care less what the teacher had to say. He kept staring at the new student, his mouth hanging open. Did he just hear right? Did the teacher just really say 'Ran Kudo'? What was going on? This can`t be...He stared at Ai who was sitting next to him, wanting to check if she thought the same he did, but she payed no attention to him. Instead she was writing what the teacher did.
Conan stared back at Ran. From behind she really could be his Ran. The same brown hair... He had had not enough time to look at her face because he had been too busy staring, being shocked and keeping the flies off his open mouth. For the rest of the class he could barly do anything else as he kept looked at Ai, then at Ran and back again.
After the class, Conan jumped to his feet and walked over to the new girl, intending to find out the truth about her but he was not fast enough.
"Hello Ran! My name is Ayumi! This is Genta, this Mitsuhiko, this is Haibara and over there we have Conan."
"Hello everybody!" she answered, looking around and at each in turn smiling. As her eyes rested on Conan, they bored deeply into his for a second before looking away again.
Shinichi didn`t know if the sting in his heart had been imagination.
"Do you wanna walk home with us? We can walk together and bring you, really!"
"That`s nice of you but-"
"She`s right! Just because you are new, doesn`t mean you have to walk home or be alone!"
"Uh..I.." she said blinking uncertainly.
"Great, then it`s decided!!! Come on guys, let`s get going!" Genta said happyly.
"HAI!" the others said, agreeing.
Ran never really had much of a choice.
~~
"Where do you live?" Mitsuhiko asked her.
"Currently I am living with my uncle..." She said, smiling at him.
'As far as I know, Ran has no uncles...' Shinichi thought, somewhat dissapointed. He used his neglegated detective skills to find out the truth about this mysterious girl.
They continued chatting happily, like kids at their age are supposed to do and laughed a lot. During these talking, Shinichi`s thoughts and hopes about this girl being his Ran vanished slowly.
"A real detective group?"
"Yeah, we are the detective boys! We solve unsolved mysteries and help people and the police! We`ve already solved so many cases together! "
"Really? That sounds pretty exiting. You mean with real criminals and everything? Wow! Isn`t that so dangerous?"
"Oh yeah, it really is but no danger is too dangerous and no case to hard to solve for-
-THE DETECTIVE BOYS!" Ayumi, Genta and Mitsuhiko screamed in unison and placed themselves in the usual 'We- are-the- Detective Boys- and- bad- guys- beware!' pose, beaming at her.
Conan and Ai just shoke their heads and Ran looked a little puzzled and doubtfully.
"Anyways, do you wanna join us? We are less girls than boys anyways and we can be friends!!" Ayumi almost forced Ran.
"W-well, I ..."
"Yeah, join us! The more we are the better!"
"Well...OKAY! That sounds sooo exiting!!" Ran said, smiling broadly.
"So cool! Now we have equal girls and boys in our team!"
"Say Ran, what`s your favorite book?" Mitsuhiko asked her.
"Uh...?!" she thought for a moment.
"What`s your favorite TV series? Yaiba right?" Ayumi went on, don`t waiting for an answer.
"W-well...I .." Ran looked puzzled.
"What`s your favorite meal??" Genta asked her with a huge smile. Everybody laughed.
"Okay guys, I still have to go to the library. See you tomorrow!" Ai said suddenly and already waved goodbye.
"And I gotta hurry home. We talked so much about food I am almost starving!" Genta said, holding his growling stomach and also dissapeared, hurrying home as fast as his feet could carry him.
"And we have to go this way. See you tomorrow, Ran- chan! Bye Conan- kun."
"Yeah, bye Ran- chan. Bye Conan- kun!" Ayumi and Mitsuhiko said their goodbyes and dissapeared as well.
Now Conan was alone with Ran. She shoke her head amused, looking after them for a second.
He figured her name was just coincidence, although he had to admid she looked a lot like Ran. But maybe it was just his mind imaging things since he could hardly think at something else but her. And her way of behaving was different. Ran was more mature. He was just dreaming again... How could he ever think .... 'Wishfull hoping I guess....'
Sighing inwardly, more dissapointed than ever, and sad because he could not stop thinking at his lost childhood friend who seemed now to be lost forever, he crossed his arms behind his head, trying to act as calm as he could untill he was at home. Although he was officially living with Doctor Agasa, he prefered sleeping in his own house these days. He didn`t want anybody to see him in this condition. Not at nights, when things became worse than over the day. When the pain broke through and became unbearable. When the nightmares returned.....
'What was she doing at the moment? If it`s still her, after all..?' he looked at the little girl.
'Stop thinking about her. She is gone for good. You`ve released her, remember? Don`t act so selfish now. What did you expect anyways?? Crazy!'
"Is this your direction?" he asked her casually, using his acting skills to sounds cool, not showing the desperation and pain that was torning his heart into million pieces.
His mother would have been proud.
"Y-yeah, I am living over there."
"I see." They walked in silence. He never took notice that she was pointing in his own direction.
Even her walking reminded him at Ran.
'Stupid, can`t you think at anything else but her all the time?' his mind railed him.
'No!' his heart simply replied.
"Are you feeling alright?" she asked him, looking at the ground.
"Huh? What? Why?" he answered surprised.
"Just because you look really tired, and you have red eyes and that`s why I thought..."
Shoot! He had forgotten about that. Not that he cared lots what he looked like recently...
"No no, I am fine...I just..had..some really bad nights..Don`t worry. "
'Aren`t you going to do anything else but lie?' his mind argued with itself. 'Shut up!'
"Okay." Ran said, beliving his explanation.
What else could she do? How much sence would it make to try and explain her his hearts pain? She wouldn`t understand it. He was all alone with it.
The walked on in silence again.
"So...you are member of the Detective Boys huh? What part do you have?"
"Oh, I usually do the thinking. As always..." he mumbled unthinkingly.
"I remember. Well, you`ve always been the smart one."
Conan stopped short and looked puzzled at her, not sure if he was hearing things again.
"W-what did you say?"
"Me? I said nothing." She said, looking surprised at him.
Either she`s really not aware what she said or she`s a damn good actress.
Ran had to giggle at his strange expression and went on ahead, her hands crossed behind her back.
Conan`s body reacted immediately to that smile, his heart starting to beat like crazy.
He knew this feeling. Knew this smile that made his knees go weak every time. Swallowing, he gathered all his courage.
"Is...is it really you? Ran?" he asked to her back that was still turned to him, involuntary pronouncing the last word with as much emotions as he had in his voice. She stopped walking and smiled at herself.
"Of course it`s me. I told you my name is Ran, didn`t I? Whatever could you mean?..." she turned and looked directly into his eyes. "...Shinichi!?"
His heart failed working for about ten beats. His stomach turned itself over and it felt like it`s gonna burst soon, along with his heart that suddenly started beating like crazy and he began to sweat slightly.
"Wh- what did you just say?"
Still smiling, she walked closer to him and layed a hand on his cheek, never breaking eyecontact.
"You heared me right!"
He took a step back, eyes and mouth widened in shock and moved a hand to cover his mouth with a hand, staring blankly at her.
She was just standing where he had left her, her hand lowered slowly to her side, looking into his eyes.
Still covering his mouth and shaking his head in disbelief, he murmured with shocked eyes:
"No, that`s not true...I-it`s impossible....You...you..y..o..u...you really..."
"I really 'what' ?" she asked him.
"You...you...yyoouuuuu..." that`s all he could say, still stunned and shocked as all hell, not beliving in what was happening.
"Maybe we should go for a walk in the park, what do you say?"
Still staring at her unmoving, he could not form a better sentence than..
"You..youhuhuuu.." she just shoke her head and took his hand.
"I`ll just take that as a yes!" she said, dragging him the few meters to the little park nearby. Sitting him on a bench she sat next to him and looked at the ground.
"Are you surprised?"
He took a moment to collect himself, mentaly kicking himself for what he was thinking.
'Such things never happen, so quit being silly.'
"No, of course not. I just think I am imaging things again. Must be the lack of sleep. Sorry ... but you certainly are not the one I think you are. I .... I need to go!"
He told her, standing up as fast as he could and tried to walk away but a hand held him back. She had grasped his hand, had stood up herself and was hugging him tightly after drawing him in the semicircle of her arms, not saying a word.
Not reacting at all, he felt a few tears soaking his shirt. Closing his eyes, letting the sensation wash over him as he smelled her, he breathed her in deeply, leaving no doubt who he truly was holding in his arms.
It was his Ran, his love, his everything. She had returned to him.
He lifted his arms and returned the hug as tightly as he could, being afraid it may be just a dream. Wouldn`t be the first time...
"Are you real?" he whispered into her ear, holding her tighter, needing to ask her.
"I am as real as you are!" she returned the words and the gesture.
"Is it really you Ran? Are you really my Ran? Can I dare believe?" he continued whispering.
"It`s really me, my Shinichi. You can believe it."
A shiver ran through his body and he rubbed his cheek against hers, feeling her, needing to be sure she was really there, then he smelled her again and held her closer to his body. She once again returned the gesture and sighed.
"I thought I had lost you forever!" he whispered with skeaky voice tenderly in her ear.
"So had I!" she answered quietly. After slowly parting, they held hands and faced each other. She grinned at him.
"How do you know it`s me?"
"Your smell, your eyes, your smile, your way of walking ..."
"I see.." she said, blushing a little bit at the fact that he knew her and her body language by heart, even if her body was now half the size as it had been last week..
"Don`t you wanna know what happened?"
"No, not yet!" was his surprising answer as he took her in his arms again and held her as tightly as he could, so that he would not lose her to any unknown force that might think of coming between them. He had to be sure this was no dream.
She smiled at that and held him back, one hand moving on his back and one burried itself in his hair, holding him very close to her heart while tenderly stroking his scalp in a shoothing way, trying to calm him down a little. She had had time to get used to the thought of her in this body but she knew he still needed time to comprehent.
The young couple stood like that for what seemed like a little eternity. Time passed slowly and she felt him shiver strongly against her. But she was there to hold and comfort him.
After calming down, she took his hand and lead him to the bench and they both sat down. She turned to him and started explaining.
"Ai told me everything." Was her only sentence. He look somewhat stunned and puzzled at her.
'Ai? I always thought she does not like Ran?!!'
He looked at her and waited for her to tell the rest but she just looked at him with raised eyebrows, as if not understanding what he wanted.
"And.....?" he said, trying to make her go on talking.
"And what?"
"Did she just go to you and say, 'Hey Ran, by the way, did you already know.....' ?"
He trailed of, don`t finding the rest necessary to say.
"Actually it had been my idea. I kinda forced her..."
Now he was totally confused. He stared stupefied at her, so she continued.
"It was your letter...I ..I know your way of expressing and know your letters, Shinichi. I know when something is bothering you and when you try to lie or hide something from me. Like before, when you tried to make me believe you were alright as I asked you. Well, I can`t blame you. If I really had been a little girl I would have believed you. But I could see right through you."
He was surprised at her statement but knew it was the truth. He could never really hide something like that from Ran. It`s always been like that. As long as he can think.
"And yet...your letter was...let`s say unnatural. It made me think. After the broke down, my heart said 'that can`t be true.' And I believed it. I clung onto the little hope that something was wrong, something I don`t know was going on. It made me research the facts and soothed me a little, giving me the strengh to do so. And then, suddenly Conan vanished too. You know, I`ve heared you cry. I`ve heared you cry every night since my father went to hospital. I felt that something of importance had occurred during that night. Too many things had changed from a second to the other. I just didn`t know what... And then that letter from Conan came...and it sounded more like you... "
She trailed of herself, looking at the feet. He kept listening in silence. Taking a deep breath she went on.
"The...the main-reason for my suspicions... had...had been..." again she took a deep beath, needing to say it all.
"I`ve never seen or heared you cry. It was scary and made my heart ache like I never thought possible. I knew something was wrong but I didn`t dare asking you . However, I am not stupid so I made something up and counted one and one together... I asked Ai about it. I`ve heared you two talk often about mature things and I guess she took pity on me and explained me everything.
After the shock and the anger slowly vanished, I started feeling your pain. I thought about what you have been through, what you had to go through, alone, because you didn`t want to put me in any danger, and you cried so much after your chance..vanished. Like I said, in our long time together as friends... I`ve rarely seen you cry... Just then I realized how much I must mean to you and I felt my own feelings for you, clearer then they`ve ever been. So I asked her for the pill and after some hestitation she agreed."
"Ran I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you, I really did! So many times did I ..." she cutted him off by placing a finger on his lips.
"I know that...and it`s not important anymore. You could have changed nothing. I see that now. And it was my own decision. My father is feeling better and my Mom is taking care of him now. They fight but they actually get along very well. They don`t need me anymore so I decided to go my own way and be by the one that means the world to me, even if I had to shrunk to do so."
"Ran...oh Ran..." he sunk his head and after recovering he took a deep breath.
"ARE YOU INSANE???" he almost sceamed at her with a sorrowfull face.
She bulged away slightly, surprised.
"How can you do such a stupid thing??? Such a vey stupid thing, you crazy crazy girl..." his eyes got teary, his words lost it`s volume with every word and while saying the last words he begann kissing her gently all over her face which he held firmly in his hands while talking to her and looking directly into her eyes.
"Love makes you do the craziest things." Was her simply answer as she layed her hands on his that still were resting on her cheeks. He gazed deeply into her eyes then smiled tenderly and shoke his head slightly.
"You are so crazy, do you know that? So crazy.." he said in a shaky voice. She smiled at him.
"I have picked that up from my childhood friend." He smiled weakly at her, resting his forehead against hers.
"You shouldn`t have done this. You just shouldn`t have! Just look at you!"
He said with great concern in his eyes and voice, brushing with his hands carefully over her face.
"What? Do I look that bad?"
"Hell no! You look as beautiful as ever, if not even more! But you are eight years old! You should have never done this just for me! Especially after what I`ve done to you the last weeks."
She looked stubbornly at him. "I wanted to be with you Shinichi. I know exactly what I am doing. This is exactly where I want to be."
"I am just so sorry it had to turn out like this...." he paused, overwhelmed, searching for the right words. He needed to explain her his acting with his own words.
"I am sorry about what I`ve done...I never meant to hurt you! It was god knows not easy for me to do that. All I wanted is for you to be happy, to have a future. And now look! I destroyed everything for you! You sacrified everything , your whole life, just for my stupid sake..."
She shoke her head severly, stopping him.
"No Shinichi, don`t say that! What would it have been like for me, to have a future, grown up but without you? It was my own decision and I do have a future, even now! I have a future with you together, that`s all I ever wanted and needed, all I ever will need! And if you accept me, I will be happier than I ever thought was possible! Happier than I ever could with anybody else."
She finished talking, her cheeks took a red color as she looked into his eyes which were almost pleading and in the same time afraid of rejection. He gazed deeply into her neverending deep and clear eyes, his mind working hard on comprehending everything she had said. What confused him most, was that she seemed afraid he might not want her.
'Was she crazy? How could I ever not want her?' he thought.
"Are you crazy?? How could you ever think I would not want you???"
She didn`t say or do anything, just stared into his eyes with a slight smile as she leaned her forehead against his and distangled one hand from their grip, laying it on one of his cheeks, stroking tenderly.
They remained quiet for a long time in this position untill he looked down at their joined hands, then back into her eyes.
'It`s now or never' he told himself. Gathering all the courage he could find, he gazed deeply into her beautiful eyes and whispered with a shaking, emotionfull voice:
"I-..I I love you, Ran!" Her eyes widened in tender surprise as she continued looking softly at him, her mouth opened slightly.
"I have for so long! Ever since we were little I knew there was only one woman for me! The one special person I wanted to protect the most in this world, with everything I got. Your happiness means more to me than anything else. I would even ignore my personal pain and stay away from you if that`s what it takes for you to be happy. And I tried..." he whispered as tears started running down his face.
"I really tried to do the right thing and I let you go.... and ..I..did...and...I know it`s selfish .. but I felt horrible. I was so alone ...it was the hardest thing I`ve ever done and .." he sobbed some more.
"You wouldn`t believe how much it hurted!..The pain was indescribable! It was as if I could never be happy again, as if I could not breath anymore and I didn`t even want to because life without you makes no sence. It hurted so much to walk away from you...so so much... "he whispered as new tears spilled.
She pulled her forehead back and hugged his head, letting it come to a rest on her chest. At first he tried to pull away, but she held him only tighter.
"You don`t always have to be strong, Shinichi. Just this once, let me be the strong one!"
Stroking his head tenderly she slowly rocked him. Ran knew his pain must have been immense. She knew that what he had to go through had been an indescribable hard thing to do, but he had done it though. For her sake. It was proof of how much she meant to him.
She couldn`t remember the last time she had seen him cry, left out the times before his dissapearance a week ago.
She also couldn`t help it as a few tears escaped her eyes and she silently cried with him, rocking him, sharing his pain. And he hugged her back.
"Ssshhh, it`s okay. I understand your feelings. I know it must have been hard for you, it was for me too, but it`s over. It`s okay now! You will see. You are not alone anymore. We are together now! I will never leave you again! I love you too much to be seperated from you even another day! I want to spend my life with only you! Sssshhh, my Shinichi."
His eyes opened soon after as he began to calm down slowly. Whispering a little "Thank you", he squeezed her gratefully, which she returned.
After about a minute, he pulled his head up slowly and looked into her eyes.
"What did you just say?"
She raised a hand with a magical appeared (or out of a pocket pulled) handkerchief and dried his handsome face tenderly as she spoke softly.
"I said: I love you Shinichi!"
Staring in disbelieve at her, his mind raced and his mouth opened again. After all she had been through with him, after everything that happened, she still loved him.
"I`ve also loved you for very long Shinichi. I know you know because I told Conan long ago. But that doesn`t matter. What matters is that I love you more than I ever thought could be possible to love another person. Whenever I am with you, and is it with you as grown up, or with you as Conan, every time I felt so loved and cared for. You can give me this feeling that I am loved, this deep feeling of contentment just by being near me, hold my hand or simple looking at me. And you love me enough to let me go. You love me enough to take all the pain on your shoulders so that I can have a norml life. That alone is more than everybody ever did for me. Sacrifice ones happiness for the sake of his loved one. And you always were like that. You have the purest heart I`ve ever known and I love you, Shinichi Kudo! More then anybody or anything else."
He was staring into her eyes without blinking the whole time, kinda speechless. Her words had reached his very soul and he felt each word coming from the deepth of her heart. He knew they had been the truth, every single word. He was so touched, deep down, that his hands began shaking again for a moment and he felt a few tears comming. Though this time, they were tears of pure happiness.
Moving a hand to stroke her cheek tenderly and wipe away her own tears of emotions that had gathered there during her speech, he was searching for the right words to express himself. She returned the gesture, cleaning his face with soft fingers.
Then, he stood up abruptly and took the surprised Ran in his arms. He hugged her so tightly that it was hard for her to breath but he soon released his deathgrip a little. Instead he held her up and started spinning her around, laughing and smiling at her.
She shrieked and laughed, smiling back at him.
"Shinichi!!!!!!"
"Oh Ran! I love you! I love you so much! You made me the happiest man alive! I don`t know what to say! Oh jesus, I love you so so much!!"
She simply beamed at him, her beauty and the shining that was surrounding her shone even brighter and more beautiful than the sun in the background. He spun her some more and she laughed.
"See, I told you I have the craziness from you!"
He set her on her feet again and laughed with her. It was so good to see him laugh again. It had been breaking her heart to hear him cry so much and he had looked like the walking death but now his laughing breathed a vivid living color on his white and tired face, making it look alive again. It made her heart sing.
"Oh Ran...my Ran..." he said, hugging her again to him, though this time very softly and gave her a loving kiss on her cheek which she returned just as loving.
"I`ll ask you one last time. Are you really sure about this? Is this really what you want?" he asked her, looking seriously into his eyes. There was nothing worse in the moment than thinking of her regretting her choice someday.
She simply smiled, leaning forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips.
"More than anything I`ve ever wanted. When you stay with me, I have all my wishes and dreams come true. That`s all I need."
"You are all I need, too! I`ll never leave you again, Ran! You`re all mine now!" he said and hugged her possesively.
"I`ve always been!"
Was her simple answer as she smiled and layed her head gently on his chest and he rested his head on top of hers. Both sighed in unison out of pure contentment.
After a while standing together like this, he began talking again.
"Wanna go home? We have a lot to tell each other."
"Sure, let`s go!" She said and started walking ahead happily. Or rather, jumping ahead.
'Hi hi, in this body I can behave like a kid again.'
Smiling brightly, he started walking after her but suddenly stopped.
"I thought you selled the office?"
"We did!" she answered, not looking at him, still jumping.
Confused, he called after her.
"Where are you living then??"
She turned her head slowly and grinned seductively at him.
"With you, of course!" she answered matter of factly.
His mouth dropped open.
She giggled and he slowly came back to himself. Slowly starting to grin as well at the new perspectives, he walked to her and took her hand, entwining their fingers lovingly, whispering "Of course" just as matter of factly as she had.
A shiver ran down her spine as she beamed up at him.
Together they started walking happily to the direction of Doctor Agasas house, his big silly grin never leaving his face.
"Dear class, today we will greet another student in our class. She just moved to Tokyo. Please be nice to her. Come in dear!" the teacher said to the open door. A petit girl walked in, closing the door behind her and standing next to the teacher.
"AW, is she cuuuttteee!" Conan heared Genta say.
"Class, this, is Ran Kudo."
Conan`s hand slipped and his head hit the table, hard.
'WHAT THE - ?!?'
Chapter 2
~Unbearable loss~
"Hello Ran" the whole class chanted in unison. The girl waved shyly.
"So dear, let`s see where to seat you. Oh look, in front Ai- chan there is an empty seat." The teacher gestured at the place next to Genta.
The girl walked over to the place and sat down. The teacher smiled pleased, turned around and went on with the reading.
"Okay, we will continue with what we have started last time. We began to multiply. Let`s see. Can anybody tell me what 7 times 3 is? Yes dear?...." The teacher started talking with the class and writing on the table.
Conan couldn`t care less what the teacher had to say. He kept staring at the new student, his mouth hanging open. Did he just hear right? Did the teacher just really say 'Ran Kudo'? What was going on? This can`t be...He stared at Ai who was sitting next to him, wanting to check if she thought the same he did, but she payed no attention to him. Instead she was writing what the teacher did.
Conan stared back at Ran. From behind she really could be his Ran. The same brown hair... He had had not enough time to look at her face because he had been too busy staring, being shocked and keeping the flies off his open mouth. For the rest of the class he could barly do anything else as he kept looked at Ai, then at Ran and back again.
After the class, Conan jumped to his feet and walked over to the new girl, intending to find out the truth about her but he was not fast enough.
"Hello Ran! My name is Ayumi! This is Genta, this Mitsuhiko, this is Haibara and over there we have Conan."
"Hello everybody!" she answered, looking around and at each in turn smiling. As her eyes rested on Conan, they bored deeply into his for a second before looking away again.
Shinichi didn`t know if the sting in his heart had been imagination.
"Do you wanna walk home with us? We can walk together and bring you, really!"
"That`s nice of you but-"
"She`s right! Just because you are new, doesn`t mean you have to walk home or be alone!"
"Uh..I.." she said blinking uncertainly.
"Great, then it`s decided!!! Come on guys, let`s get going!" Genta said happyly.
"HAI!" the others said, agreeing.
Ran never really had much of a choice.
~~
"Where do you live?" Mitsuhiko asked her.
"Currently I am living with my uncle..." She said, smiling at him.
'As far as I know, Ran has no uncles...' Shinichi thought, somewhat dissapointed. He used his neglegated detective skills to find out the truth about this mysterious girl.
They continued chatting happily, like kids at their age are supposed to do and laughed a lot. During these talking, Shinichi`s thoughts and hopes about this girl being his Ran vanished slowly.
"A real detective group?"
"Yeah, we are the detective boys! We solve unsolved mysteries and help people and the police! We`ve already solved so many cases together! "
"Really? That sounds pretty exiting. You mean with real criminals and everything? Wow! Isn`t that so dangerous?"
"Oh yeah, it really is but no danger is too dangerous and no case to hard to solve for-
-THE DETECTIVE BOYS!" Ayumi, Genta and Mitsuhiko screamed in unison and placed themselves in the usual 'We- are-the- Detective Boys- and- bad- guys- beware!' pose, beaming at her.
Conan and Ai just shoke their heads and Ran looked a little puzzled and doubtfully.
"Anyways, do you wanna join us? We are less girls than boys anyways and we can be friends!!" Ayumi almost forced Ran.
"W-well, I ..."
"Yeah, join us! The more we are the better!"
"Well...OKAY! That sounds sooo exiting!!" Ran said, smiling broadly.
"So cool! Now we have equal girls and boys in our team!"
"Say Ran, what`s your favorite book?" Mitsuhiko asked her.
"Uh...?!" she thought for a moment.
"What`s your favorite TV series? Yaiba right?" Ayumi went on, don`t waiting for an answer.
"W-well...I .." Ran looked puzzled.
"What`s your favorite meal??" Genta asked her with a huge smile. Everybody laughed.
"Okay guys, I still have to go to the library. See you tomorrow!" Ai said suddenly and already waved goodbye.
"And I gotta hurry home. We talked so much about food I am almost starving!" Genta said, holding his growling stomach and also dissapeared, hurrying home as fast as his feet could carry him.
"And we have to go this way. See you tomorrow, Ran- chan! Bye Conan- kun."
"Yeah, bye Ran- chan. Bye Conan- kun!" Ayumi and Mitsuhiko said their goodbyes and dissapeared as well.
Now Conan was alone with Ran. She shoke her head amused, looking after them for a second.
He figured her name was just coincidence, although he had to admid she looked a lot like Ran. But maybe it was just his mind imaging things since he could hardly think at something else but her. And her way of behaving was different. Ran was more mature. He was just dreaming again... How could he ever think .... 'Wishfull hoping I guess....'
Sighing inwardly, more dissapointed than ever, and sad because he could not stop thinking at his lost childhood friend who seemed now to be lost forever, he crossed his arms behind his head, trying to act as calm as he could untill he was at home. Although he was officially living with Doctor Agasa, he prefered sleeping in his own house these days. He didn`t want anybody to see him in this condition. Not at nights, when things became worse than over the day. When the pain broke through and became unbearable. When the nightmares returned.....
'What was she doing at the moment? If it`s still her, after all..?' he looked at the little girl.
'Stop thinking about her. She is gone for good. You`ve released her, remember? Don`t act so selfish now. What did you expect anyways?? Crazy!'
"Is this your direction?" he asked her casually, using his acting skills to sounds cool, not showing the desperation and pain that was torning his heart into million pieces.
His mother would have been proud.
"Y-yeah, I am living over there."
"I see." They walked in silence. He never took notice that she was pointing in his own direction.
Even her walking reminded him at Ran.
'Stupid, can`t you think at anything else but her all the time?' his mind railed him.
'No!' his heart simply replied.
"Are you feeling alright?" she asked him, looking at the ground.
"Huh? What? Why?" he answered surprised.
"Just because you look really tired, and you have red eyes and that`s why I thought..."
Shoot! He had forgotten about that. Not that he cared lots what he looked like recently...
"No no, I am fine...I just..had..some really bad nights..Don`t worry. "
'Aren`t you going to do anything else but lie?' his mind argued with itself. 'Shut up!'
"Okay." Ran said, beliving his explanation.
What else could she do? How much sence would it make to try and explain her his hearts pain? She wouldn`t understand it. He was all alone with it.
The walked on in silence again.
"So...you are member of the Detective Boys huh? What part do you have?"
"Oh, I usually do the thinking. As always..." he mumbled unthinkingly.
"I remember. Well, you`ve always been the smart one."
Conan stopped short and looked puzzled at her, not sure if he was hearing things again.
"W-what did you say?"
"Me? I said nothing." She said, looking surprised at him.
Either she`s really not aware what she said or she`s a damn good actress.
Ran had to giggle at his strange expression and went on ahead, her hands crossed behind her back.
Conan`s body reacted immediately to that smile, his heart starting to beat like crazy.
He knew this feeling. Knew this smile that made his knees go weak every time. Swallowing, he gathered all his courage.
"Is...is it really you? Ran?" he asked to her back that was still turned to him, involuntary pronouncing the last word with as much emotions as he had in his voice. She stopped walking and smiled at herself.
"Of course it`s me. I told you my name is Ran, didn`t I? Whatever could you mean?..." she turned and looked directly into his eyes. "...Shinichi!?"
His heart failed working for about ten beats. His stomach turned itself over and it felt like it`s gonna burst soon, along with his heart that suddenly started beating like crazy and he began to sweat slightly.
"Wh- what did you just say?"
Still smiling, she walked closer to him and layed a hand on his cheek, never breaking eyecontact.
"You heared me right!"
He took a step back, eyes and mouth widened in shock and moved a hand to cover his mouth with a hand, staring blankly at her.
She was just standing where he had left her, her hand lowered slowly to her side, looking into his eyes.
Still covering his mouth and shaking his head in disbelief, he murmured with shocked eyes:
"No, that`s not true...I-it`s impossible....You...you..y..o..u...you really..."
"I really 'what' ?" she asked him.
"You...you...yyoouuuuu..." that`s all he could say, still stunned and shocked as all hell, not beliving in what was happening.
"Maybe we should go for a walk in the park, what do you say?"
Still staring at her unmoving, he could not form a better sentence than..
"You..youhuhuuu.." she just shoke her head and took his hand.
"I`ll just take that as a yes!" she said, dragging him the few meters to the little park nearby. Sitting him on a bench she sat next to him and looked at the ground.
"Are you surprised?"
He took a moment to collect himself, mentaly kicking himself for what he was thinking.
'Such things never happen, so quit being silly.'
"No, of course not. I just think I am imaging things again. Must be the lack of sleep. Sorry ... but you certainly are not the one I think you are. I .... I need to go!"
He told her, standing up as fast as he could and tried to walk away but a hand held him back. She had grasped his hand, had stood up herself and was hugging him tightly after drawing him in the semicircle of her arms, not saying a word.
Not reacting at all, he felt a few tears soaking his shirt. Closing his eyes, letting the sensation wash over him as he smelled her, he breathed her in deeply, leaving no doubt who he truly was holding in his arms.
It was his Ran, his love, his everything. She had returned to him.
He lifted his arms and returned the hug as tightly as he could, being afraid it may be just a dream. Wouldn`t be the first time...
"Are you real?" he whispered into her ear, holding her tighter, needing to ask her.
"I am as real as you are!" she returned the words and the gesture.
"Is it really you Ran? Are you really my Ran? Can I dare believe?" he continued whispering.
"It`s really me, my Shinichi. You can believe it."
A shiver ran through his body and he rubbed his cheek against hers, feeling her, needing to be sure she was really there, then he smelled her again and held her closer to his body. She once again returned the gesture and sighed.
"I thought I had lost you forever!" he whispered with skeaky voice tenderly in her ear.
"So had I!" she answered quietly. After slowly parting, they held hands and faced each other. She grinned at him.
"How do you know it`s me?"
"Your smell, your eyes, your smile, your way of walking ..."
"I see.." she said, blushing a little bit at the fact that he knew her and her body language by heart, even if her body was now half the size as it had been last week..
"Don`t you wanna know what happened?"
"No, not yet!" was his surprising answer as he took her in his arms again and held her as tightly as he could, so that he would not lose her to any unknown force that might think of coming between them. He had to be sure this was no dream.
She smiled at that and held him back, one hand moving on his back and one burried itself in his hair, holding him very close to her heart while tenderly stroking his scalp in a shoothing way, trying to calm him down a little. She had had time to get used to the thought of her in this body but she knew he still needed time to comprehent.
The young couple stood like that for what seemed like a little eternity. Time passed slowly and she felt him shiver strongly against her. But she was there to hold and comfort him.
After calming down, she took his hand and lead him to the bench and they both sat down. She turned to him and started explaining.
"Ai told me everything." Was her only sentence. He look somewhat stunned and puzzled at her.
'Ai? I always thought she does not like Ran?!!'
He looked at her and waited for her to tell the rest but she just looked at him with raised eyebrows, as if not understanding what he wanted.
"And.....?" he said, trying to make her go on talking.
"And what?"
"Did she just go to you and say, 'Hey Ran, by the way, did you already know.....' ?"
He trailed of, don`t finding the rest necessary to say.
"Actually it had been my idea. I kinda forced her..."
Now he was totally confused. He stared stupefied at her, so she continued.
"It was your letter...I ..I know your way of expressing and know your letters, Shinichi. I know when something is bothering you and when you try to lie or hide something from me. Like before, when you tried to make me believe you were alright as I asked you. Well, I can`t blame you. If I really had been a little girl I would have believed you. But I could see right through you."
He was surprised at her statement but knew it was the truth. He could never really hide something like that from Ran. It`s always been like that. As long as he can think.
"And yet...your letter was...let`s say unnatural. It made me think. After the broke down, my heart said 'that can`t be true.' And I believed it. I clung onto the little hope that something was wrong, something I don`t know was going on. It made me research the facts and soothed me a little, giving me the strengh to do so. And then, suddenly Conan vanished too. You know, I`ve heared you cry. I`ve heared you cry every night since my father went to hospital. I felt that something of importance had occurred during that night. Too many things had changed from a second to the other. I just didn`t know what... And then that letter from Conan came...and it sounded more like you... "
She trailed of herself, looking at the feet. He kept listening in silence. Taking a deep breath she went on.
"The...the main-reason for my suspicions... had...had been..." again she took a deep beath, needing to say it all.
"I`ve never seen or heared you cry. It was scary and made my heart ache like I never thought possible. I knew something was wrong but I didn`t dare asking you . However, I am not stupid so I made something up and counted one and one together... I asked Ai about it. I`ve heared you two talk often about mature things and I guess she took pity on me and explained me everything.
After the shock and the anger slowly vanished, I started feeling your pain. I thought about what you have been through, what you had to go through, alone, because you didn`t want to put me in any danger, and you cried so much after your chance..vanished. Like I said, in our long time together as friends... I`ve rarely seen you cry... Just then I realized how much I must mean to you and I felt my own feelings for you, clearer then they`ve ever been. So I asked her for the pill and after some hestitation she agreed."
"Ran I am so sorry. I wanted to tell you, I really did! So many times did I ..." she cutted him off by placing a finger on his lips.
"I know that...and it`s not important anymore. You could have changed nothing. I see that now. And it was my own decision. My father is feeling better and my Mom is taking care of him now. They fight but they actually get along very well. They don`t need me anymore so I decided to go my own way and be by the one that means the world to me, even if I had to shrunk to do so."
"Ran...oh Ran..." he sunk his head and after recovering he took a deep breath.
"ARE YOU INSANE???" he almost sceamed at her with a sorrowfull face.
She bulged away slightly, surprised.
"How can you do such a stupid thing??? Such a vey stupid thing, you crazy crazy girl..." his eyes got teary, his words lost it`s volume with every word and while saying the last words he begann kissing her gently all over her face which he held firmly in his hands while talking to her and looking directly into her eyes.
"Love makes you do the craziest things." Was her simply answer as she layed her hands on his that still were resting on her cheeks. He gazed deeply into her eyes then smiled tenderly and shoke his head slightly.
"You are so crazy, do you know that? So crazy.." he said in a shaky voice. She smiled at him.
"I have picked that up from my childhood friend." He smiled weakly at her, resting his forehead against hers.
"You shouldn`t have done this. You just shouldn`t have! Just look at you!"
He said with great concern in his eyes and voice, brushing with his hands carefully over her face.
"What? Do I look that bad?"
"Hell no! You look as beautiful as ever, if not even more! But you are eight years old! You should have never done this just for me! Especially after what I`ve done to you the last weeks."
She looked stubbornly at him. "I wanted to be with you Shinichi. I know exactly what I am doing. This is exactly where I want to be."
"I am just so sorry it had to turn out like this...." he paused, overwhelmed, searching for the right words. He needed to explain her his acting with his own words.
"I am sorry about what I`ve done...I never meant to hurt you! It was god knows not easy for me to do that. All I wanted is for you to be happy, to have a future. And now look! I destroyed everything for you! You sacrified everything , your whole life, just for my stupid sake..."
She shoke her head severly, stopping him.
"No Shinichi, don`t say that! What would it have been like for me, to have a future, grown up but without you? It was my own decision and I do have a future, even now! I have a future with you together, that`s all I ever wanted and needed, all I ever will need! And if you accept me, I will be happier than I ever thought was possible! Happier than I ever could with anybody else."
She finished talking, her cheeks took a red color as she looked into his eyes which were almost pleading and in the same time afraid of rejection. He gazed deeply into her neverending deep and clear eyes, his mind working hard on comprehending everything she had said. What confused him most, was that she seemed afraid he might not want her.
'Was she crazy? How could I ever not want her?' he thought.
"Are you crazy?? How could you ever think I would not want you???"
She didn`t say or do anything, just stared into his eyes with a slight smile as she leaned her forehead against his and distangled one hand from their grip, laying it on one of his cheeks, stroking tenderly.
They remained quiet for a long time in this position untill he looked down at their joined hands, then back into her eyes.
'It`s now or never' he told himself. Gathering all the courage he could find, he gazed deeply into her beautiful eyes and whispered with a shaking, emotionfull voice:
"I-..I I love you, Ran!" Her eyes widened in tender surprise as she continued looking softly at him, her mouth opened slightly.
"I have for so long! Ever since we were little I knew there was only one woman for me! The one special person I wanted to protect the most in this world, with everything I got. Your happiness means more to me than anything else. I would even ignore my personal pain and stay away from you if that`s what it takes for you to be happy. And I tried..." he whispered as tears started running down his face.
"I really tried to do the right thing and I let you go.... and ..I..did...and...I know it`s selfish .. but I felt horrible. I was so alone ...it was the hardest thing I`ve ever done and .." he sobbed some more.
"You wouldn`t believe how much it hurted!..The pain was indescribable! It was as if I could never be happy again, as if I could not breath anymore and I didn`t even want to because life without you makes no sence. It hurted so much to walk away from you...so so much... "he whispered as new tears spilled.
She pulled her forehead back and hugged his head, letting it come to a rest on her chest. At first he tried to pull away, but she held him only tighter.
"You don`t always have to be strong, Shinichi. Just this once, let me be the strong one!"
Stroking his head tenderly she slowly rocked him. Ran knew his pain must have been immense. She knew that what he had to go through had been an indescribable hard thing to do, but he had done it though. For her sake. It was proof of how much she meant to him.
She couldn`t remember the last time she had seen him cry, left out the times before his dissapearance a week ago.
She also couldn`t help it as a few tears escaped her eyes and she silently cried with him, rocking him, sharing his pain. And he hugged her back.
"Ssshhh, it`s okay. I understand your feelings. I know it must have been hard for you, it was for me too, but it`s over. It`s okay now! You will see. You are not alone anymore. We are together now! I will never leave you again! I love you too much to be seperated from you even another day! I want to spend my life with only you! Sssshhh, my Shinichi."
His eyes opened soon after as he began to calm down slowly. Whispering a little "Thank you", he squeezed her gratefully, which she returned.
After about a minute, he pulled his head up slowly and looked into her eyes.
"What did you just say?"
She raised a hand with a magical appeared (or out of a pocket pulled) handkerchief and dried his handsome face tenderly as she spoke softly.
"I said: I love you Shinichi!"
Staring in disbelieve at her, his mind raced and his mouth opened again. After all she had been through with him, after everything that happened, she still loved him.
"I`ve also loved you for very long Shinichi. I know you know because I told Conan long ago. But that doesn`t matter. What matters is that I love you more than I ever thought could be possible to love another person. Whenever I am with you, and is it with you as grown up, or with you as Conan, every time I felt so loved and cared for. You can give me this feeling that I am loved, this deep feeling of contentment just by being near me, hold my hand or simple looking at me. And you love me enough to let me go. You love me enough to take all the pain on your shoulders so that I can have a norml life. That alone is more than everybody ever did for me. Sacrifice ones happiness for the sake of his loved one. And you always were like that. You have the purest heart I`ve ever known and I love you, Shinichi Kudo! More then anybody or anything else."
He was staring into her eyes without blinking the whole time, kinda speechless. Her words had reached his very soul and he felt each word coming from the deepth of her heart. He knew they had been the truth, every single word. He was so touched, deep down, that his hands began shaking again for a moment and he felt a few tears comming. Though this time, they were tears of pure happiness.
Moving a hand to stroke her cheek tenderly and wipe away her own tears of emotions that had gathered there during her speech, he was searching for the right words to express himself. She returned the gesture, cleaning his face with soft fingers.
Then, he stood up abruptly and took the surprised Ran in his arms. He hugged her so tightly that it was hard for her to breath but he soon released his deathgrip a little. Instead he held her up and started spinning her around, laughing and smiling at her.
She shrieked and laughed, smiling back at him.
"Shinichi!!!!!!"
"Oh Ran! I love you! I love you so much! You made me the happiest man alive! I don`t know what to say! Oh jesus, I love you so so much!!"
She simply beamed at him, her beauty and the shining that was surrounding her shone even brighter and more beautiful than the sun in the background. He spun her some more and she laughed.
"See, I told you I have the craziness from you!"
He set her on her feet again and laughed with her. It was so good to see him laugh again. It had been breaking her heart to hear him cry so much and he had looked like the walking death but now his laughing breathed a vivid living color on his white and tired face, making it look alive again. It made her heart sing.
"Oh Ran...my Ran..." he said, hugging her again to him, though this time very softly and gave her a loving kiss on her cheek which she returned just as loving.
"I`ll ask you one last time. Are you really sure about this? Is this really what you want?" he asked her, looking seriously into his eyes. There was nothing worse in the moment than thinking of her regretting her choice someday.
She simply smiled, leaning forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips.
"More than anything I`ve ever wanted. When you stay with me, I have all my wishes and dreams come true. That`s all I need."
"You are all I need, too! I`ll never leave you again, Ran! You`re all mine now!" he said and hugged her possesively.
"I`ve always been!"
Was her simple answer as she smiled and layed her head gently on his chest and he rested his head on top of hers. Both sighed in unison out of pure contentment.
After a while standing together like this, he began talking again.
"Wanna go home? We have a lot to tell each other."
"Sure, let`s go!" She said and started walking ahead happily. Or rather, jumping ahead.
'Hi hi, in this body I can behave like a kid again.'
Smiling brightly, he started walking after her but suddenly stopped.
"I thought you selled the office?"
"We did!" she answered, not looking at him, still jumping.
Confused, he called after her.
"Where are you living then??"
She turned her head slowly and grinned seductively at him.
"With you, of course!" she answered matter of factly.
His mouth dropped open.
She giggled and he slowly came back to himself. Slowly starting to grin as well at the new perspectives, he walked to her and took her hand, entwining their fingers lovingly, whispering "Of course" just as matter of factly as she had.
A shiver ran down her spine as she beamed up at him.
Together they started walking happily to the direction of Doctor Agasas house, his big silly grin never leaving his face.