Disclaimer: I do not own any of the TP characters…Disney does!!
Notes: This takes place on Earth!
*
As Jim waddled into Delbert's jeans, a thought occurred to him: this was the weirdest vacation ever.
"Come to think of it," he muttered, "why would anyone want to wear a thong?"
Obviously, this was not the vacation that he had been dreaming of. If the guys in his class ever found out that he had been wearing a Betty Boop thong, he would be…well…scarred for life! The teen walked quietly across the hardwood floor. He did not want to wake up Delbert and Sarah.
Captain Doppler was in the kitchen, solemnly frying scrambled eggs.
"Good morning, James. Do you fancy any eggs?"
Jim slowly sat down and resisted the urge not to tear off his jeans and throw away the thong.
"Fancy? What the heck does that mean?"
"Let me rephrase myself: do you want some eggs?" asked Amelia, spelling out the words like a robot.
"Uhh…no thanks. Look, do we have to do archery today?" questioned Jim. The captain rolled her emerald-green eyes.
"I rather thought you enjoyed doing something different!"
Jim stared at her. "What? Since when?!"
"Well, ever since you decided to do some cross-dressing, James," she stated, her usually stern eyes twinkling.
Jim gaped at her, his mouth wide open. "Me? Like, no way, man."
He scraped his chair across the floor and stood up defiantly. With his nose in the air, he limped towards his room. Jim was fuming.
Trust mom to blab about what I wear!" he thought. With some dignity, he grabbed his sneakers and sauntered back into the kitchen.
"Okay, I'll go shoot arrows. I'll try to do something different, ma'am," he mumbled.
*
"Pull back and fire!" yelled a father next to Jim. A young boy, who was around the age of ten, solemnly did as he was told. The arrow flew straight and true. BAM! It hit the bulls eye.
"Ha!" cried the kid in satisfaction. Jim stared glumly at his target; his poorly aimed arrows were miles away from the bulls eye.
"Man, this stinks," the teen growled, marching over to the target and plucking the arrows out one by one.
"Excellent try, James," called Amelia from the bench.
Jim grinned, his hands full of arrows. Raising his arms up into the air, he yelled out, "I'm king of the world! Whoooo!"
Amelia shook her head and walked over to the coke machine.
"Are you crazy? You suck!" mumbled the boy, his face twisted into a smirk.
"Say that to my face, you little shrimp," retorted Jim, puffing out his chest.
"You suck, you suck," chanted the little brat.
"Atta boy! Show who's boss," the father yelled. With enthusiasm, he slurped on a beer and eagerly waited to see what would happen.
"Uh…don't make me, like, hurt you," said Jim. His earlier bravado was beginning to fade. He slowly grabbed his bow and drew an arrow. He wanted to try for the bulls eye one more time, just to make the kid shut up. How did Legolas shoot those arrows? Jim wondered, trying to visualize a shooting scene from Lord of the Rings. Deciding to ditch the elf technique, the teen shot his arrow. It whizzed through the air and missed by a long shot. Instead, it planted itself into Delbert's butt, who just happened to approach the archery range.
"AHHH! Good gracious! My posterior region has been attacked …again!" howled the doctor, clutching at his bottom. A panicking Sarah tried to pluck it out. Amelia, who had been casually returning from the vending machines with a Pepsi, stared at her husband with shock. She immediately dropped the soda and promptly pulled out the arrow.
"Hey, not bad," admitted the kid, smiling.
"Yeah…I think I'm starting to get the hang of this thing," stated the teenager, patting the bow while Delbert screeched in the background. Then, something awful happened. It all started when the awe began to disappear from the little boy's eyes.
"What's wrong?" asked Jim.
"You dress like mommy!" the kid wailed, sobbing.
Slowly, the teen stared downwards. Then, it dawned on him. Delbert's big pants had slipped down. The cord that Jim had used as a belt had snapped. Thinking back on it, the teen remembered hearing a faint ripping noise when he had pulled the string back.
Uttering a curse, Jim tried to cover up the Betty Boop thong with his arms. The kid ran off towards his dad, staring back at Jim with disbelief. His senses returning, Jim jerked his pants back up and bolted past Amelia, Delbert, and Sarah and sprinted for the cabin.
***Thank you for all of the reviews!! Please, give me more ideas…I REALLY need 'em. I have received an idea about sticking a frog into Delbert's book, which I will do! :D Still, I know that some of you guys must have some crazy or goofy suggestion. Again, thank you for all of your inspiring, great reviews!! ***