Disclaimer: Please
see my bio
A/N: Sorry, guys! My computer
broke! I wrote a lot, so I hope to be
updating at a semi-normal pace, now.
Please note, however, that I'm still sick and still in school, so no
promises. Also, say nothing to me about
OotP, or I will hunt you down with an ice cube and stick it in between your
bottom lip and your gums (ever get something cold in there? Ick.)
Oh- one of the "voices" is supposed to be italicized, but it's only working half the time no matter what I do. So humor me and pretend that's what the *text* is.
Dracomalfoygirl7- please note: Heather has no love life!!! Zip. Zero. None. Nada. But her strictly-friend-and-not-by-any-means-crush/bf… hm…. I'd tell you whether you were right or not, but that means everyone else would know….
~This is dedicated to the great friends I have who put up with
my whining and are always there to remind me that they love me.~
Recap:
Her head swam with memories of him, and she cried for hours, thinking about his life, about his death, about that leaf.
When Harry walked into visit Heather, he was confronted with
the tear-streaked face of a sleeping girl.
He paused, set something on her nightstand, straightened her covers, and
walked away.
Chapter 14: The Love of Friendship
Heather was crying, in a vast plane filled with purple mist.
*I am alone. I am without anyone near me. Everything I loved is gone, my life is bleak and pointless. I should give up; I would be happier dead. . . and they would be happier to have me that way. Then why don't I do it? Why don't I leave, and make everyone else happier? Am I really that selfish?*
No, it's not selfishness. Look at James, don't you see he loves you?
Heather jumped. She had thought she had been alone in a dream, but now there were two voices with her, female and male. And both familiar.
*No, James could never love me. . . I'm not worth that. . . .*
Heather was befuddled. She had stopped crying. What kind of vision was this? She had no idea.
Even if you weren't, he seems to think so.
*But. . . he must be mistaken. People who've known me my whole life told me how worthless I am. . . James hasn't known me that long, he doesn't know yet. . .*
I've known you my whole life. Have I shunned you yet?
*No, you haven't, but. . . you're too nice.*
I'll have to remember you said that for later. But at the moment, just think about it. I know you so well; we grew up together. I'm not lying to make you feel better. I'm not pretending things are a way they aren't. You always knew when I was lying. Am I lying now?
*No, but. . . Maybe you're the only one who feels that way. *
Maybe I'm the only one who knows the truth.
*There are three of us who know. *
That's right, and I was the only one standing on the outside, wasn't I?
*You're biased. *
Am I? I was her friend as well as yours for years.
*Yeah, but when you found out, you and I were a lot closer.*
That's because the little I already knew was bad enough.
*But-*
Listen, we love you. Don't you see that?
*No you don't, not really. I mean, you pity me, and you have to be nice to me for your parent's sakes. Peter hasn't even stopped in to say hi yet. He doesn't care. Remus. . . he just needs people to accept him. I don't mater, just the fact that I don't hate him. And James. . . James only likes having a girlfriend. *
There was a significantly long pause.
Do you really think that? Honestly?
*I don't know anymore, Sirius. I really don't*
I think that you do know, Lily. But you're so scared that you forget.
*Sirius, I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be taking up your time. I'm not worth it. *
You're worth it and more, Lils.
*No I'm not. OR at least I don't feel that way…*
Sirius wait for Lily to continue, knowing, by practice, Heather supposed, that there was more. Finally, he prompted her.
What do you feel like?
*I feel used… worthless… dirty. Like some piece of scum that people don't want to touch, that's just in their way and they have to put up with it. Like a dead worm on a sidewalk after a rain. *
You're not like that, Lily. You're beautiful and wonderful-
*I'm disgusting, Sirius! In all the time I've lived with you, have you ever once seen me wear anything that would show more of my body than my robes? *
Heather was amazed. Where on earth did this patience come from? She would be screaming at her friend right now out of sheer frustration.
No. I have not.
*That's because my whole body is horrid and disgusting! Not to mention me, the actual person in here! I'm filthy, Sirius, I don't know why you waste your time on me. *
Listen, Lily. Look at me. There was a pause. Look at me. Okay. Now, Lily. What happened was something that should never happen to anyone. I'm really sorry you had to go through that. It's horrible. But you are not horrible, Flowerbud, you are a good person. I know it's not your fault you feel otherwise, and you can't help it sometimes, but try to remember the truth.
*Sirius, why do you put up with me? Here I am whining to you and you have so much more important things to do. *
Because I love you flower bud.
There was a delicate moment of quiet.
What started it this time?
*Snape and Avery. Please, don't get too mad at them, Sirius. *
Calm down, I won't do anything rash. I guess. Do you want me to stay with you tonight?
*Isn't it a full moon? *
Remus will understand.
*Are you sure? *
Positive. James can handle something for one night alone. They can just stay in the shack. I'm going to get you some diner. Are you going to be okay while I'm gone?
*I guess so. *
Alright. I'll be right back.
*Sirius? *
What?
*Thanks. And I love you. *
Don't mention it. I love you too. Never forget it.
Heather felt herself being towed along behind Sirius, pondering. What on earth made a vision invisible?
A/N: I'm sick of being in "general," but can anyone tell me if this even has a genre?
R/R, PLEASE!! Flames are welcome, though constructive criticisms are preferred. Anonymous reviews are accepted.