Title: Losing Grip

Chapter IX: What If

Author: JuSt AnOtHeR DeMoNiC EgO (J*A*D*E)

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to the McMahon's... Jade owns nothing. The song is Avril's.

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Jeff sat in his own hotel room, thinking about Matt. He hadn't seen him get so drunk… besides his 21st birthday. But that was all good and fun… and Amy was there. This time Matt had turned to alcohol for comfort. The old Matt would never do something like that. Of course he had the occasional party drink… but usually when Matt was stressed he would listen to music or work out. Jeff couldn't get the fact that Matt had actually turned to alcohol for comfort out of his head.

What if it becomes a habit?

What if he can't wrestle anymore?

What if he passes out some day and gets hurt?

What if he needs me one day and I'm not there to help him?

What if he needs me right now?

"What if, what if, what if." Jeff mumbled. He shook his head. "I'm not a 'what if' person. I'm an… 'I'll-worry-about-this-shit-tomorrow person." Jeff paced back and forth, occasionally glancing out of the full-length windows. "I'm not supposed to worry like this… he's supposed to worry like this! I can't – Lord, I'm talking to myself. I'm actually talking to myself. What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you. You're stressed."

Jeff practically jumped out of his skin. He looked towards the door – where the voice came from. Torrie leaned on the frame. A sweet smile was on her face.

"Hey Tor." Jeff mumbled. "How did you get in?"

"Ever hear of a lock?" Torrie asked, turning the knob for emphasis. "How's Matt? Heard he was drunk as a mother."

"Yep… you heard right." Jeff sighed and leaned his head on the window. He stared out at the view. It was gorgeous, even though it was pouring outside.

Torrie could see his sorrowful expression in the glass. "Jeff, baby… you okay?"

Jeff didn't answer her. He continued to gaze.

"Jeff?"

"No… I'm not okay. I feel like… I feel helpless. I don't know what to do anymore."

"Well…" Torrie walked up to Jeff. She put her arms around him. He leaned his head on her shoulder. "You gotta be there for Matt."

"I am. I just don't know how… he's the one that takes care of me. I'm not sure if I can do it for him. I'm not used to it."

Torrie nodded. "You gotta try."

"I can't."

Torrie gasped in mock surprise. "Did I just hear Jeffrey Hardy say the word, 'can't'?"

Jeff smiled.

"You can, Jeff. You can do anything. And if you ever need anything…" Torrie reached into her bra and pulled out a key. She handed it to Jeff. "I'm in room four-o-seven." She whispered in a sultry voice.

Jeff raised an eyebrow. He opened his mouth to say something, but before the words could come out… she was gone.

He glanced down at the key in his hand. The numbers '4-0-7' were inscribed perfectly in gold lettering.

She's serious. She's really serious. Jeff thought. Then the 'what ifs' started floating in his mind again. 'What ifs' that were absolutely irrelevant to the situation he was going through.

What if the guys are mad at me 'cause I still talk to Matt?

What if I forgot to turn my stove off and my house is on fire right now?

What if I mess up on my Swanton tomorrow night?

What if I forgot to lay food out for Liger?

What if…

What if… what if I go to room 4-0-7?

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