Numb
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.
Linkin Park, Numb
Squall was surprised by the knock at the door as he wasn't aware of any appointments. He paused in the act of writing a report and answered 'Come in.'
The girl who entered puzzled him further as he didn't recognise her. She was dressed all in blue, blue denim jacket, blue jeans, even her long hair was a pale blue.
'Can I help?' he asked his brow creasing.
'Only yourself.' The girl replied enigmatically as she walked over to the chair opposite Squall.
'Are you a new student? You don't look familiar.' Squall asked as she sat down ignoring what she had said.
The girl looked hurt and replied 'Is that so?'
Squall was beginning to get impatient and put his pen down with a loud click. 'What do you want?' he snapped.
'I want to help soothe your pain dear boy.' The girl whispered.
'What do you mean? I feel no pain.' Squall replied trying to dislodge the notion that the girl's whisper was somehow familiar.
'Really?' the girl answered and then unbuttoned the cuffs of her jacket rolling up the sleeves to expose livid red lines criss-crossing her forearms in a way oh-so familiar to Squall.
Squall gasped as the marks came into vision. 'But how?' he asked confused.
'Every time you hurt yourself you hurt me too.' The girl answered.
'How is that possible?' Squall mumbled unable to tear his eyes from the lines that reflected his own.
'Think of who I am, of what I am to you. I can only protect you so much Squall.' The girl told him touching his face.
Squall's face tingled with cold and he looked up into the girl's eyes. Eyes that were a pale blue, reflecting his own dull grey ones. Eyes that had mesmerised him before over three years ago in the back of a deep cave and a prison of ice.
'Shiva!?' he said softly as he reached for her hand.
'Yes you remember now. Do you remember the promise?' Shiva replied her lips moving closer to his so her breath tickled his skin.
'You liked my mind, you said you could live there forever in return for protecting me, never leaving me alone.' Squall recounted losing himself in Shiva's eyes.
'And now Rinoa's you feel so alone, it's all dark inside where I live Squall, you forgot about me and now when you cut yourself you cut me too, only my flesh cannot heal as well as yours.' She whispered.
'Why didn't you just talk to me in my mind?' Squall asked.
'Would it have been this effective? Would you have realised what damage you were doing to yourself if you couldn't see it on someone else? Shiva replied her lips almost brushing his.
'But I need it.' Squall replied almost whining.
'Then I guess I should leave you. I can't protect you from this.' Shiva replied harshly pulling her hand and lips away from him.
'No!' Squall yelled as he snapped back into focus, his deepest fear brought to the surface.
'Then you have to stop Squall, you have to go back to living, feeling again. I know it will be hard but don't forget I'll be here.' Shiva said softly.
'How can I stop?' Squall mumbled, tears slowly welling up in his eyes.
'By remembering that Rinoa is still here with you.' Shiva told him.
'How?' Squall asked in disbelief.
Shiva chuckled softly 'So forgetful my dear boy. What happens when a Sorceress dies?' she asked him.
Squall's brow creased as he thought. 'She passes on her powers.' He said finally.
Shiva grinned 'Exactly. She passed them on to you Squall. A part of her lives on in you. Do you want to destroy that too?' she told him.
Squall gazed down at his hands, a number of emotions flickering across his face, his mouth twitching into a smile. 'Really?' he asked.
'Yes really. Never forget that both of us are with you always Squall.' Shiva replied leaning forward and softly kissing him.
'Be strong and live Squall.' She whispered to him as she faded away.
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.
Linkin Park, Numb
Squall was surprised by the knock at the door as he wasn't aware of any appointments. He paused in the act of writing a report and answered 'Come in.'
The girl who entered puzzled him further as he didn't recognise her. She was dressed all in blue, blue denim jacket, blue jeans, even her long hair was a pale blue.
'Can I help?' he asked his brow creasing.
'Only yourself.' The girl replied enigmatically as she walked over to the chair opposite Squall.
'Are you a new student? You don't look familiar.' Squall asked as she sat down ignoring what she had said.
The girl looked hurt and replied 'Is that so?'
Squall was beginning to get impatient and put his pen down with a loud click. 'What do you want?' he snapped.
'I want to help soothe your pain dear boy.' The girl whispered.
'What do you mean? I feel no pain.' Squall replied trying to dislodge the notion that the girl's whisper was somehow familiar.
'Really?' the girl answered and then unbuttoned the cuffs of her jacket rolling up the sleeves to expose livid red lines criss-crossing her forearms in a way oh-so familiar to Squall.
Squall gasped as the marks came into vision. 'But how?' he asked confused.
'Every time you hurt yourself you hurt me too.' The girl answered.
'How is that possible?' Squall mumbled unable to tear his eyes from the lines that reflected his own.
'Think of who I am, of what I am to you. I can only protect you so much Squall.' The girl told him touching his face.
Squall's face tingled with cold and he looked up into the girl's eyes. Eyes that were a pale blue, reflecting his own dull grey ones. Eyes that had mesmerised him before over three years ago in the back of a deep cave and a prison of ice.
'Shiva!?' he said softly as he reached for her hand.
'Yes you remember now. Do you remember the promise?' Shiva replied her lips moving closer to his so her breath tickled his skin.
'You liked my mind, you said you could live there forever in return for protecting me, never leaving me alone.' Squall recounted losing himself in Shiva's eyes.
'And now Rinoa's you feel so alone, it's all dark inside where I live Squall, you forgot about me and now when you cut yourself you cut me too, only my flesh cannot heal as well as yours.' She whispered.
'Why didn't you just talk to me in my mind?' Squall asked.
'Would it have been this effective? Would you have realised what damage you were doing to yourself if you couldn't see it on someone else? Shiva replied her lips almost brushing his.
'But I need it.' Squall replied almost whining.
'Then I guess I should leave you. I can't protect you from this.' Shiva replied harshly pulling her hand and lips away from him.
'No!' Squall yelled as he snapped back into focus, his deepest fear brought to the surface.
'Then you have to stop Squall, you have to go back to living, feeling again. I know it will be hard but don't forget I'll be here.' Shiva said softly.
'How can I stop?' Squall mumbled, tears slowly welling up in his eyes.
'By remembering that Rinoa is still here with you.' Shiva told him.
'How?' Squall asked in disbelief.
Shiva chuckled softly 'So forgetful my dear boy. What happens when a Sorceress dies?' she asked him.
Squall's brow creased as he thought. 'She passes on her powers.' He said finally.
Shiva grinned 'Exactly. She passed them on to you Squall. A part of her lives on in you. Do you want to destroy that too?' she told him.
Squall gazed down at his hands, a number of emotions flickering across his face, his mouth twitching into a smile. 'Really?' he asked.
'Yes really. Never forget that both of us are with you always Squall.' Shiva replied leaning forward and softly kissing him.
'Be strong and live Squall.' She whispered to him as she faded away.