Awaken
Awaken you, with a little evil inside.
Disturbed, Awaken.
Nida lay on his bed as the dawn's first rays slipped through his curtains. The pale light crept across his room highlighting the smooth surface of his desk and the plain green carpet of the floor. The corner of his room was in shadow as was his bed. Even though it was early morning Nida lay on top of the covers of his bed fully clothed, the shoulders of his shirt torn, strips of black cotton hung down onto his pillow, spreading out. He hadn't slept all night, instead he gazed up at the blank ceiling in the dark ignoring the pain in his shoulders and was charged with energy.
It had only been yesterday that he had sex with Dana in the book cupboard and for his second time ever, he was surprised how good he and it was. Lust and passion had completely taken over him as he pinned her against the wall and took her three times before she had to forcibly pry herself away and change her torn uniform, the flesh underneath covered in small red marks and bruises where he had bitten and sucked. Luckily she was able to change and get back to work without anyone noticing while he had to leave her for now and see her again the next day. He had left the library almost visibly vibrating, his shoulders bare and oozing blood from where she had dug her nails in and scratched.
He ended up going back to his room and crashing out on his bed in an effort to wind down but the thoughts buzzing in his head wouldn't let him be and in the end night had fallen and passed without him realising.
He became aware of an aching sensation that demanded his attention, an insistent need that pulled his hand down his body to his jeans which he undid, releasing part of the pressure.
He closed his eyes as he caressed himself imagining he was back inside Dana again, his lips tracing the contours of her body as her arms enveloped him pulling him in deeper. The motion of his hand started to speed up, the strokes getting harder as his fantasy continued and climax approached. The fantasy was disrupted as he orgasmed explosively his body jolting spasmodically. He lay there breathing deeply, his eyes still closed as he held himself.
The brief relief he had given himself had sated the aching for a moment, now it was back stronger than before. Nida threw himself off the bed tearing off his clothes, leaving them strewn across the floor as he stepped into his en-suite shower to wash off the sweat, dried blood and other bodily fluids that covered his skin. The hungry aching feeling grew as Nida scrubbed his body clean. He needed to satiate his lust but it wasn't enough to do it by hand, he needed Dana.
He dressed in a dark thin cotton T-short and button-fly jeans. Clothes that he could easily get out of, torn off if need be. He made his way down the corridor towards the girl's dormitory. On his way he noticed two girls dressed in full SeeD uniform, both fair skinned with long dark hair bound up in a pony-tail. They didn't seem to notice Nida as he strolled towards them, the two of them engrossed in a card game they were playing.
Nida caught a waft of perfume that made his whole body flinch and couldn't help himself as he surreptitiously slid his hand up the skirt of the girl nearest to him and pinched her behind before walking on. The girl jumped as he did so yelling 'Hey!' in surprise as the other girl yelled 'Jerk!' to his retreating back.
Nida smirked to himself as he came to Dana's door and knocked softly on it. She opened the door half asleep, her long blonde hair in a mess sticking out in places.
'Nida?' she mumbled in surprise and stepped back as he stepped into the room.
'What are you doing here?' she yawned.
'I want you.' Nida replied softly.
'Nida I just woke up. I'm a wreck!' she replied sitting down on her bed.
'You look great to me.' Nida replied moving closer.
'Thanks but can't you come back later?' she told him smiling at the compliment.
'No! I want you now!' Nida said raising his voice.
'Nida I'm tired! I'm not here to have sex at your beck and call!' she snapped.
'Fine.' Nida said softly.
'Good now come back later okay?' she said softly, standing up and stretching.
The next moment Nida had dived on her pushing her down onto her bed and tearing open the thick bathrobe she was wearing laying bare her soft naked flesh.
'Nida what the fuck!?' she screamed at him trying to push him off and noticed the mad gleam in his eye.
Nida didn't reply as his hands pinned her arms down as his lips moved down her neck. Dana tried to yank her arms from under him and twisted her body to lever him off. In the end she was able to get a leg between his and sharply bring her knee up into his groin causing him to curl up in pain and roll off her to the floor.
Dana stood up wrapping the robe around her, breathing heavily, her body trembling with the anger of being violated.
Nida gave a hoarse cry of pain as he uncurled looking dazed. 'What was that about?' Dana snarled.
'I'm sorry I don't know what came over me.' He whispered in reply.
'That isn't good enough Nida! I can't believe you'd do that to me! I told you to wait but now you can forget about even thinking of touching me! Get the hell out!' Dana yelled at him.
'I see, part of me wants to blame you for this, the part you awoke when we had sex, the part that hungers for you to be in you.' Nida said slowly, getting up. 'But I'm to blame I could control this raging lust burning inside me but I don't want to. I imagine your body against mine and I want it to be real.' He said softly looking into her eyes.
'So that's all I am to you? A sex toy? A thing in which to spend yourself? For fuck sake Nida you just tried to rape me!' she screamed at him.
'I know I was there!' he yelled back. 'I can't rationalise it, I can't make it right! Hyne I can't think straight while I'm looking at you!' he yelled back his fists clenching and unclenching.
'Just get out okay? Go cool off somewhere. I don't want to talk or look at you right now so leave please.' Dana said softly.
Nida nodded and left the room wishing he could take back the last fifteen minutes but that small part that controlled his lust kept prodding him with visions of Dana naked and it was the sheer force of will that enabled him to leave without reaching out to touch her.
The door slammed behind him and he could hear soft sobs through it. The rational part of him wanted to comfort her but he knew he'd degenerate to a frenzied lust-controlled monster.
He walked back to his room, punching the wall in response to his stupidity, self-loathing growing inside him.
Back in his room he smashed the mirror fracturing his normal features, blood trickling between his fingers as glass shards lacerated his skin. He wanted anything to take place of this disgusting lust inside him, even pain, maybe death. Trailing blood over the carpet he sat at the computer terminal set into the wall at the northern corner of his room. Splashing scarlet red spots of blood over the keys he signed in and proceeded to write an email.
"Dear Dana,
I can't begin to express my regret and sorrow of what I did today. I lost control because I finally had something I've wanted for a long time, someone who cared for me and that I cared about. However there is nothing that can excuse what I've done and I don't seek forgiveness.
Love always,
Nida."
He sent the email and lay on his bed, his wounded hand sticking to his stomach as the blood seeped into his T-shirt. His eyes closed as his emotion-wracked mind finally succumbed to tiredness and he drifted into the darkness of sleep.
Awaken you, with a little evil inside.
Disturbed, Awaken.
Nida lay on his bed as the dawn's first rays slipped through his curtains. The pale light crept across his room highlighting the smooth surface of his desk and the plain green carpet of the floor. The corner of his room was in shadow as was his bed. Even though it was early morning Nida lay on top of the covers of his bed fully clothed, the shoulders of his shirt torn, strips of black cotton hung down onto his pillow, spreading out. He hadn't slept all night, instead he gazed up at the blank ceiling in the dark ignoring the pain in his shoulders and was charged with energy.
It had only been yesterday that he had sex with Dana in the book cupboard and for his second time ever, he was surprised how good he and it was. Lust and passion had completely taken over him as he pinned her against the wall and took her three times before she had to forcibly pry herself away and change her torn uniform, the flesh underneath covered in small red marks and bruises where he had bitten and sucked. Luckily she was able to change and get back to work without anyone noticing while he had to leave her for now and see her again the next day. He had left the library almost visibly vibrating, his shoulders bare and oozing blood from where she had dug her nails in and scratched.
He ended up going back to his room and crashing out on his bed in an effort to wind down but the thoughts buzzing in his head wouldn't let him be and in the end night had fallen and passed without him realising.
He became aware of an aching sensation that demanded his attention, an insistent need that pulled his hand down his body to his jeans which he undid, releasing part of the pressure.
He closed his eyes as he caressed himself imagining he was back inside Dana again, his lips tracing the contours of her body as her arms enveloped him pulling him in deeper. The motion of his hand started to speed up, the strokes getting harder as his fantasy continued and climax approached. The fantasy was disrupted as he orgasmed explosively his body jolting spasmodically. He lay there breathing deeply, his eyes still closed as he held himself.
The brief relief he had given himself had sated the aching for a moment, now it was back stronger than before. Nida threw himself off the bed tearing off his clothes, leaving them strewn across the floor as he stepped into his en-suite shower to wash off the sweat, dried blood and other bodily fluids that covered his skin. The hungry aching feeling grew as Nida scrubbed his body clean. He needed to satiate his lust but it wasn't enough to do it by hand, he needed Dana.
He dressed in a dark thin cotton T-short and button-fly jeans. Clothes that he could easily get out of, torn off if need be. He made his way down the corridor towards the girl's dormitory. On his way he noticed two girls dressed in full SeeD uniform, both fair skinned with long dark hair bound up in a pony-tail. They didn't seem to notice Nida as he strolled towards them, the two of them engrossed in a card game they were playing.
Nida caught a waft of perfume that made his whole body flinch and couldn't help himself as he surreptitiously slid his hand up the skirt of the girl nearest to him and pinched her behind before walking on. The girl jumped as he did so yelling 'Hey!' in surprise as the other girl yelled 'Jerk!' to his retreating back.
Nida smirked to himself as he came to Dana's door and knocked softly on it. She opened the door half asleep, her long blonde hair in a mess sticking out in places.
'Nida?' she mumbled in surprise and stepped back as he stepped into the room.
'What are you doing here?' she yawned.
'I want you.' Nida replied softly.
'Nida I just woke up. I'm a wreck!' she replied sitting down on her bed.
'You look great to me.' Nida replied moving closer.
'Thanks but can't you come back later?' she told him smiling at the compliment.
'No! I want you now!' Nida said raising his voice.
'Nida I'm tired! I'm not here to have sex at your beck and call!' she snapped.
'Fine.' Nida said softly.
'Good now come back later okay?' she said softly, standing up and stretching.
The next moment Nida had dived on her pushing her down onto her bed and tearing open the thick bathrobe she was wearing laying bare her soft naked flesh.
'Nida what the fuck!?' she screamed at him trying to push him off and noticed the mad gleam in his eye.
Nida didn't reply as his hands pinned her arms down as his lips moved down her neck. Dana tried to yank her arms from under him and twisted her body to lever him off. In the end she was able to get a leg between his and sharply bring her knee up into his groin causing him to curl up in pain and roll off her to the floor.
Dana stood up wrapping the robe around her, breathing heavily, her body trembling with the anger of being violated.
Nida gave a hoarse cry of pain as he uncurled looking dazed. 'What was that about?' Dana snarled.
'I'm sorry I don't know what came over me.' He whispered in reply.
'That isn't good enough Nida! I can't believe you'd do that to me! I told you to wait but now you can forget about even thinking of touching me! Get the hell out!' Dana yelled at him.
'I see, part of me wants to blame you for this, the part you awoke when we had sex, the part that hungers for you to be in you.' Nida said slowly, getting up. 'But I'm to blame I could control this raging lust burning inside me but I don't want to. I imagine your body against mine and I want it to be real.' He said softly looking into her eyes.
'So that's all I am to you? A sex toy? A thing in which to spend yourself? For fuck sake Nida you just tried to rape me!' she screamed at him.
'I know I was there!' he yelled back. 'I can't rationalise it, I can't make it right! Hyne I can't think straight while I'm looking at you!' he yelled back his fists clenching and unclenching.
'Just get out okay? Go cool off somewhere. I don't want to talk or look at you right now so leave please.' Dana said softly.
Nida nodded and left the room wishing he could take back the last fifteen minutes but that small part that controlled his lust kept prodding him with visions of Dana naked and it was the sheer force of will that enabled him to leave without reaching out to touch her.
The door slammed behind him and he could hear soft sobs through it. The rational part of him wanted to comfort her but he knew he'd degenerate to a frenzied lust-controlled monster.
He walked back to his room, punching the wall in response to his stupidity, self-loathing growing inside him.
Back in his room he smashed the mirror fracturing his normal features, blood trickling between his fingers as glass shards lacerated his skin. He wanted anything to take place of this disgusting lust inside him, even pain, maybe death. Trailing blood over the carpet he sat at the computer terminal set into the wall at the northern corner of his room. Splashing scarlet red spots of blood over the keys he signed in and proceeded to write an email.
"Dear Dana,
I can't begin to express my regret and sorrow of what I did today. I lost control because I finally had something I've wanted for a long time, someone who cared for me and that I cared about. However there is nothing that can excuse what I've done and I don't seek forgiveness.
Love always,
Nida."
He sent the email and lay on his bed, his wounded hand sticking to his stomach as the blood seeped into his T-shirt. His eyes closed as his emotion-wracked mind finally succumbed to tiredness and he drifted into the darkness of sleep.