5. Counseling

There was a hiss as the door to the Chief Engineer's cabin slid into the wall. He'd stayed in room C-4 for another hour checking and rechecking the readings in hope that he had missed something. Maybe there was one small connection he had overlooked. Perhaps all he had to do was readjust a wire somewhere and that would start Data's regeneration process. Finally the Captain had ordered him to get some rest. So he now stood in the doorway of his own quarters… motionless. He almost choked as he saw the items in front of him. A long, brown plaid cape was draped over his coffee table and on it lay a double-brimmed hunting cap and a 19th Century pipe.

It seemed like years since his recent adventure in the holodeck but in reality it had only been a few hours. Was it really such a short time ago that he and Data had been walking the streets of London? They had used a new program where the computer would pick any mystery at random and incorporate it into a Sherlock Holmes setting, that way Data would be given a challenge. After all, he had every original Holmes story stored in his brain. Geordi remembered watching his friend's determination in facing his new endeavor. If he hadn't known better—he wasn't all that sure he did—Geordi would have thought Data was having fun. He had just announced that the criminal was from an organization of evil and rottenness called KAOS and was just about to go into more detail when they had been hailed.

The Captain requested their immediate presence in transporter room three. Geordi had to stop by his quarters to change but Data had his costume over his uniform. Since Picard seemed to be in a hurry he simply shed his cape and hat, extinguished his pipe and left them on the coffee table intending to return later to retrieve them. But he never had the chance.

Geordi picked them up and headed back out the door. He was going to take them back where they belonged. Besides, he didn't think he could handle looking at them anymore. Seeing anything that reminded him of his unspeakable failure to restore his best friend was to say the least distressing. It didn't occur to him that if he entered Data's quarters everything in sight would prompt that disquieting thought.

As the door slid open and the familiar images filled his vision all the traumas he'd been trying so hard to ignore hit him at once. The pain in his chest and ankle that in all the chaos he had overlooked now flared up with renewed strength. The sinking feelings of guilt and sorrow he had staved now seemed to fill his entire awareness. Under the battering assault of so many stresses catching up with him he felt suddenly dizzy. He stumbled over to the couch, collapsed and buried his face in his hands.

This is all my fault! He shouted to himself in his mind. If I hadn't been so #! interested in that radiation source and had agreed to beam back to the ship…If I hadn't been such a clumsy idiot and held my ground during the quake I would have gotten out of the way myself…I should have been more insistent about not being sedated…Maybe if I had done something different with the repairs Data would still be here.

He was brought back to the present by the soft chimes announcing that someone was at the door. "Come in." He spoke automatically.

"Geordi?" A soft accented voice caused him to look up. Troi's curving figure stood framed in the doorway. "Are you alright?" It was obvious the only reason she asked was out of tradition. She knew very well that he wasn't.

"I'm fine." These two words were so easy to say but lately they were an outright lie. He didn't know why he'd said it because he knew that she could tell when he wasn't being truthful

She sat down beside him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You know you can talk to me." Through Geordi's VISOR it was difficult to read her expression but her manner let him know it was one of loving concern. When he nodded but said nothing she continued. "You feel guilty, don't you?" She was trying to prompt him into talking but it didn't seem to be working. He just nodded. "It is common when a friend dies for a person to feel guilty simply for surviving when another didn't. But it's more than that isn't it?"

"I feel like this whole thing is my fault." He finally murmured.

"Your guilt is understandable but unfounded."

"'Unfounded'?" His brows furrowed above his VISOR. "There are so many things I could have done differently to prevent it."

"Like what?" Troi had a hunch she knew but it was important for him to say them.

"I could have beamed up when the Captain told us to. That would have been the smart thing to do anyway."

"You were going beyond the call of duty which is very admirable. Yes, you could have ignored your discovery but you stuck to your assignment even in your discomfort. That was a commendable choice if you ask me."

"But we would have missed the quake and—"

"You didn't know the area was unstable. So how could you have possibly foreseen the consequences?"

He knew she was right but the feeling was still there. "I could have been more insistent with Dr. Pulaski."

"I believe the doctor was set on sedating you as soon as you materialized and I don't think anything you said would have changed her mind."

"But—" He began to protest but was interrupted by the chimes at the door. He commanded the door to open. A young voice spoke up.

"Hey, Data! I've got something for…" Wesley Crusher stepped in carrying a two-foot square box with small holes in the side and a bow on the top. When the Ensign noticed the atmosphere of the room his young face displayed confused concern. "Where's Data?"

Troi and Geordi exchanged an uneasy glance. Obviously not everyone had been informed of the disastrous incident. "Wesley…" The Betazoid said softly as she leaned forward and made eye contact.

He took a step back. This must be serious or she wouldn't be handling me with kid gloves.

"Data is no longer with us."

"What? Where did he go?" He was afraid he knew but that was a conclusion he did not want to jump to. He pleaded silently that the Counselor would tell him his teacher was just on another away mission. He was gravely disappointed.

"Data was damaged on a planet survey and Commander LaForge has been unable to reactivate him. I'm afraid he's—"

"What about his regeneration program?" Wesley was desperately trying to come up with an alternative to what she was saying.

"It's not working Wes. I couldn't fix him."

The boy shook his head. This was all too overwhelming.

"I know it's hard to believe Wesley…" Troi tried to comfort him but her words were lost as the Ensign ran out the door and down the hall.