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Part 3 - Crush / Abduction
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Places people! Brian shouted. The guests sat down in their seats and Nicola sat down in hers. 5 ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... go! Brian yelled.

Hello and welcome to my talk show The Truth Is Here'. If you've just joined us, where the hell have you been? While we were on a commercial break we received a phone call from someone who wanted to be called JD Burns and they requested that we talk about two topics over this quarter. And we shall. Topic number one is (dramatic long pause) Doggett and his crush on Scully! Everyone gasped.

SLAP!

The camera swung around to show that Monica had just slapped John hard across the cheek and was looking very upset.

I can't believe we made love and you were in love with that short ass! Monica yelled angrily.

But Monica, I don't care about her anymore, I love you! John pleaded but Monica wasn't listening, she had her back turned away from him.

Monica did I mention the topic was his PAST crush on Scully? Nicola asked.

Oh really? Well... She turned to John Sorry Honey. She kissed him long and passionately on the lips to show him how sorry she is for slapping him as hard as she did.

Okay ... Okay! If you two don't stop I'll be forced to get the hose again. Nicola threatened. John and Monica instantly broke apart and muttered a quiet sorry'. Okay. In season 8 it was so obvious to everyone that Doggett liked Scully more than he should have considering she was in love with Mulder and the fact that she was pregnant. Scully how are your feelings towards this?

Well as long as he's not in love with me now. I know I'm just irresistible but I have a baby and I am in love with Mulder. Monica couldn't help but let out a snort at the irresistible comment. Dana yelled

I was just thinking how you didn't sound self-loving, not one bit.

Are you being sarcastic? Dana looked at her suspiciously.

No, I would never be sarcastic.

Don't you take that sarcastic tone with me!

What sarcastic tone are you talking about? Monica asked innocently.

That one! Dana pointed at Monica.

What one? Monica asked dumbly, making Dana very angry.

I will kick your ass if you don't stop! Dana threatened her.

Why? What have I done? Monica didn't take Dana seriously. Maybe Monica should have.

That's it! Dana jumped out of her seat and ran across the stage and tackled Monica off of her chair and onto the floor and began punching Monica with all her strength. The security guards came and pulled Dana off of Monica. They were both put back in their seats and tied down. Their hands were tied to the arm rests and their feet were tied to the chair legs. They were even gagged to stop them from screaming at each other.

Now there will be no more fighting between the two of you, Nicola sighed with relief. Now JD Burns also requested we talk about Mulder's abduction. Mulder you start well since you were the one abducted.

I don't want to talk about it. He went quiet for a few seconds. They took me and did experiments on me and tests and it was horrible. They took my sister right in front of me! I couldn't help her, I was frozen, I tried but I couldn't move! He burst into tears, got off his chair onto his knees, looked up at the ceiling as if he was looking at the stars and screamed at the top of his lungs.

That was god only knows how many years ago. So cry a river, build a bridge and get over it! Everyone in the studio applauded and supported what Nicola had just told him. Mulder was in shock, he ran off the stage crying his eyes out ... again. What a wimp. Nicola muttered as she watched him leave.

Nicola turned to Brian, he indicated they still have 5 minutes until another commercial break.

Well we seem to have an extra five minutes or so, let see if the audience has any questions. A few hands went up Lets see, you in the big dorky glasses.

Hi, my names Rob and I was wandering if Monica would like to go out with me sometime? Everyone went aaw'. A security guard went up to Monica and removed her gag so she could answer the question.

Well I'm flattered but I'm with John at the moment. Monica told him. He looked a little sad for a few seconds but then recovered.

Well, if it doesn't work out, could you call me? He asked with a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

Um ... Sure. Monica replied, obviously having no intention of calling him. The man sat down very happily.

Okay. Any more questions? Everyone's hand went up That doesn't have to do with asking them for dates. Everyone's hand went down, except for one. Yes miss?

Well I did have a question for Agent Mulder but can I ask it any way, maybe you guys will know the answer. Nicola nodded for her to continue Well I was wandering, how many packets of sun flower seeds he actually gets through a day?

Some one untie Agent Scully so she can answer the question! Nicola ordered. A security guard did as Nicola instructed Now Dana, can you answer the question?

Yes I can. She reached for her handbag from behind her chair, opened it and tipped it upside-down, about 40 empty packets of sunflower fell to the ground. And that's only from the last 45 minutes! She stated.

The women sat down happily. Nicola turned to the camera.

Well its time for another stupid commercial break. Stay tuned, and remember if you have any topic requests please don't hesitate to call in and request a topic. Stay tuned for more truths to come out in the fourth part.