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Part 4 - Crush / Who's the father? / Affairs
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Hello and welcome back, if you've just joined us, you have missed a lot of strange happenings, and none of its been paranormal, just down right unusual. During the commercial break we received a number of phone calls/reviews requesting topics, and due to the high number of requests we will be extending the show to at least double the time the I originally planned to. Now our first topic for this part of the show that has been requested by someone known as Gem6 is (dramatic long pause) Baldy ... um I mean Mr Skinner and his obsession with (yet another dramatic long pause) Dana Scully.

Why is everyone obsessing over mean, other than the fact that I'm gorgeous, its no excuse to obsess. Monica started fake coughing at Dana's comment.

Couch dork couch.

Did you say something Monica? Dana asked suspiciously.

No, I just have a bit of a sore throat, cough loser cough.

Maybe you should tape your mouth shut, instead of letting all those germs out of that filthy mouth of yours.

The audience went ooooh'. Monica glared at her and sat back in her seat. There was silence for a few moments. Until Monica...

Cough shrimp cough.

Dana went to punch her but before she could reach Monica, Skinner grabbed her around the waist and sat her back down, holding her firmly by the shoulders to keep her down.

Get a hold of yourself!

But she...

I don't want to here it.











Both of you sit your arses down right this second before I force them down! Nicola yelled and she took out some rope and chains to make her point clear enough for them to understand and be frightened. Skinner and Dana instantly sat down and shut their mouth very tightly.

Now back to the topic, Skinner please explain your obsession with Miss Shrimp ... um I mean Miss Scully.

I don't have an obsession with Scully. He stated.

Well I'm afraid that you just copped a feel of her on LIVE television. Nicola told him with a grin.

I did not touch anywhere near her ... her ... I mean why would I want to? He asked rhetorically.

What aren't my boobs good enough or big enough for you? Dana screamed.

Yes ... I mean no ... I mean. He paused and looked around at everyone, who where looking at him. Screw this, I'm out of here! He said and left the studio.

Nicola looked over at two of her security guards who were dressed from head to toe in black, they nodded, put some dark sunglasses over their eyes, took out very large guns and went away in the direction Skinner had fled. Everyone on the stage looked in fear at the evil look that had suddenly come upon Nicola's face. In a split second Nicola went back to being all smiles.

Now our second topic for this part of the show, we had two phone calls/reviews from Katie and Alicia, they requested similar topics, so we decided to combine them, firstly we shall discuss who is William's real father. The audience and everyone else gasped. Now Scully, can you tell us who is the father?

Well Mulder is. Why would people question that?

Because, both Skinner and Doggett also had a crush on you, plus you've kissed Skinner and no one really know for 100% that Mulder is William's father because you were supposed to not be able to have children.

But he is! She defended.

Okay just answer a number of short questions. What did you two do after Skinner gave you the bureau credit card in Hollywood AD?

We went to our hotel room, ordered a lot of room service, including alcohol and then slept together. Dana said as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

By this time the guards had caught Skinner and bought him back where he was tied by rope and chains to his chair, so he wouldn't be able to run away again.

Skinner what do you have to say about this? Nicola asked him.

Well it does explain the huge credit card bill that month. He mumbled more to himself than anyone else.

Exactly how many drinks did the two of you have? Nicola asked Mulder and Scully.

We lost count after the first fifty shots of tequila. Mulder proudly stated.

Don't act so proud, you through it all up in the toilet a few minutes afterwards. Dana reminded him.

Did not! He denied.

Did to!









Did not!

Did not!

Did to! Then he realised No, I mean did not! He looked at the looks everyone was giving him. It told him that no one believed him. Oh crap. He muttered under his breath.

Well then its settled, Mulder is William's father due to a drunken one night stand at the end of Hollywood AD. Nicola looked at her notes and produced an evil smile. Now for the next topic, at the request of Beguile, is affairs. The audience gasped.

Brian looked frantically in the script. Where the hell was all of this coming from? None of these topics had been planned. Where the hell was she getting all of these topics? Who on Earth were these people calling in with requests? Was there even a phone on the set?

We have a suprise guest for John and Monica. Nicola looked evilly at them, they gulped the huge lumps that had just formed in their throats yet again. Barbara Doggett!

John and Monica's eyes went wide like saucers. The entire audience gasped. The crews mouths hung open from shock. Brian gasped, mouth and eyes open wide like saucers, he looked at the script in his hand and then just threw it to the side. Barbara sat down on the other side of John.

Welcome to the show Barbara. Now what have you come to ask John today? Nicola asked.

Well I want to ask him if he had an affair while we were married.

I would never have an affair while I was married! John defended.

What about the time you got really drunk at that party and you... Barbara was cut off halfway through her sentence by John.

Okay, but I would like to remind everyone that I was drunk and I don't even remember who the slut was that would come onto a man who was as drunk as I was. He stated, Monica looked at him angrily.

That slut was me! Monica yelled.

No it wasn't. John told her. And then looked at her nervously. Was it?

Yes it was! You called me and invited me, so I came and you bought me a LOT of drinks and then when we where both as drunk as each other we ... you remember. Monica explained. John thought for a moment.

Oh yeah. He muttered under his breath, remembering that night so long ago. Nicola just had to add another wonderful twist to this whole event.

Well since John and Monica have admitted that they had an affair together while John was still married, I feel it is my duty to inform everyone, that at that time Monica was still dating Brad and had phoned him that night telling him she was sick and had to cancel their date in order to go and meet John.

How the hell do you know all of this? Monica yelled, not understanding how Nicola knew all of this in such detail.

That's for me to know and you to sit and wander. Nicola said with a evil grin. Brad how do you feel? Knowing that your ex-girlfriends cheated on you while you were still dating?

Well I have to admit that I had an affair also/ Everyone gasped, including Nicola. Nicola turned to the camera.

Wow, it seems that everyone has just about had an affair!

Not me. Mulder proudly told everyone as he stood up with a huge grin on his face. Once again being proud of himself.

Nicola asked, not believing a word of what he was saying.

Yep, I've never had and never will have an affair! He stated.

Are you sure about that? Nicola gave him the most evil grin so far.

He paused and his smile fell at the look in her eyes. Why? ... What are you going to do to me? He was beyond terrified now.

I have two words for you buddy ... (really really long dramatic pause) ... Diana Fowley! His face went into shock and then he fell to the floor unconscious. What a wimp. Nicola muttered

While Dana was trying to wake Mulder up Nicola turned to the camera.

Join us after the break where we will be discussing everyone's most embarrassing moment and a suprise guest for EVERY GUEST, stay tuned for more truth on the x files, everything we know is true but hasn't been said and everything we wish they would have said while the show was still on!