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Part 5 - Embarrassing Moments
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Welcome back, haven't we had an exciting show? We've had a number of suprise guests, punching, yelling, plenty of threats and there is still lots more to come! Nicola turned to look at the people on the stage, fear was evident in all of their eyes. Nicola sat down in front of them all. Now at the request of someone who wants to be known as Rach we shall be discussing everyone's most embarrassing moments. Everyone visible sank lower in their seats. Does anyone want to start off? No one made a move to raise their hand Well I have a suprise guest for each of you, if you wont tell us your most embarrassing moment, they definatley will. Nicola turned her head to the side. OKAY SUPRISE GUESTS COME ON OUT!
Everyone turned their heads to look off stage as the suprise guests came out. All the agents and everyone one on set and in the audience gasped in horror. The most frightening thing was coming out on stage ... Everyone's mothers came out and walked towards their sons/daughters.
Monica's Mother, Maria, went up to her.
Monnie, sweetheart, why haven't you been down lately, you know that young man has been asking about you lately, you remember the one you lost your...
Monica screamed in horror and clamped her hand over her Mothers mouth to stop her from saying the rest of her sentence.
John's Mother, Laura, went up to him.
John honey. John's Mother slapped him around the head
Ow! What was that for? John asked as he rubbed the side of his head where she had hit him.
That's for being stupid enough to agreeing to do this show that has made you look like an idiot! She smacked him over the head again.
Mulder's Mother, Tina, went up to him.
Mulder, you have sunflower seeds stuck in your teeth again, come here. Mulder's Mother pulled his face level with hers, took out a toothpick and began cleaning his teeth, despite his struggle to run away from her.
Dana's Mother, Maggie, went up to her.
Dana when are you going to spend time with your son, you hardly ever see him and he needs his mother at home. not on some talk show being embarrassed in front of everyone!
But it wasn't my fault Nicola, the host of the stupid show, threatened us all with guns and photographs! Dana tried to defend herself.
That's still no excuse! Maggie told her firmly.
Krycek's Mother, Bethany, went up to him.
Krycek look at the mess your in, tuck in that shirt, right this instant!
But mom! He wined.
No buts! Krycek immediately tucked in his shirt. As soon as he was finished Krycek's Mother grabbed him by the ear.
Ow ow ow! Mum that hurts! Krycek yelled out in pain.
It's meant to hurt you fool! What's this I hear about you killing people? I thought I raised my boy better than that.
Brads Mother, Sarah, went up to him
My little boy, all grown up and an important man in the FBI. I'm so proud of you, so independent. She paused as she noticed something. Wait! Come here you have a little smudge. She licked her thumb, grabbed him by the face, pulled him down so he was level with her and began cleaning off his face, with the lick thumb.
Skinner I'm afraid your Mother couldn't be with us now, we tried to contact her but the fact that she is six foot underground and wouldn't answer us on the ouiji board was a problem. Nicola informed him. He looked very sad, almost like he was about to cry again. Now can everyone please take a seat? All the Mothers sat down next to their son / daughter.
Now lets start with ... Dana and her Mother. Mrs Scully can you tell us about the most embarrassing moment of your daughters life? Nicola asked.
Let me think for a second ... Oh yes I remember her first high school dance.
Don't you dare! Dana warned.
She was so excited about it, the coolest guy in school asked her out and she brought a gorgeous new dress.
Why was that night embarrassing then? Nicola asked confused, she had asked for an embarrassing moment, not a trip down memory lane.
Because the guy couldn't dance to save his life, when he tried to dance he tripped over, grabbed her skirt on the way down and ripped it right off.
Everyone in the audience burst out laughing. Once Nicola had contained her laughter, she started speaking.
Now lets go to ... Monica and her Mother. Mrs Reyes can you tell us about the most embarrassing moment of your daughters life?
Well there is a lot to choose from. I remember, when she was about 17 she had this boyfriend, I think his name was ... Diego.
No, don't you think about saying another word! Monica warned
Monica's father and I had gone out that night and told her we would be home during the middle of the night, we came home a few hours early and found Monica and Diego in her bedroom in the most awkward position, I think they were attempting a position from the Karma...
Monica's hand clamped down once again over her Mothers mouth to stop her from speaking anymore.
Okay I think everyone can guess what Monica and her boyfriend were attempting. Now Krycek and his Mother. Mrs Krycek, same question. Nicola asked.
Well I guess it would have to be when we went to Disney Land in Paris.
Say another word and you die! Was Krycek's warning. His Mother, of course, didn't listen.
He was so excited, but when Mickey Mouse came us to him he screamed at the top of his lungs in fear and ran away. He hid in the maze for the entire time we were there, scared that the Big Bad Mouse Man would kill him' I believe were his exact words.
The audience went aaaaw'. Krycek didn't look happy. He was thinking about what kind of gun he was going to use on his Mother. Nicola had to state her opinion in a fake cough.
Cough wimp cough. She then went all innocent again. Now John and his Mother. Mrs Doggett, same question.
Well it would have to be when there was a fire fighters presentation at his school.
Oh God no. Was Johns response as he buried his head in his hands, remembering the events his Mother was about to tell everyone.
He was excited about the fire fighters, they even let him climb all the way to the top of their ladder.
So what was embarrassing? Nicola asked.
He got stuck halfway up and wet his pants. A fire fighter had to climb up the ladder and get him down.
Well I'm sure the ladder was really high. Nicola said when secretly she would bet that the ladder was really small. Now Mulder and his Mother, Mrs Mulder again same question.
Well it would have to be when he was trying to impress this girl when he was 15.
Oh crap. Mulder muttered under his breath.
He took her into the woods for a picnic, they set everything out and while they were kissing a snake came up to them. He screamed like a girl. While his date picked the snake up and smiled. She thought he was the biggest wimp on Earth and never spoke to him again since then.
And last but not least, Brad and his Mother. Mrs Follmer for one last time, same question.
I don't remember him doing anything embarrassing ... Oh but I do have some photographs of when he was just a little baby.
Please for the love of God not the baby pictures. Brad begged.
Look how squishy he was, couldn't you just pinch that little butt of his! She pinched his cheek as she said this.
The camera got a close up of the pictures. One was of him on the carpet, butt naked on his stomach, looking at the camera and waving his ass in the air. Nicola turned her attention to the camera.
Another annoying commercial break is coming up, after the break we will be discussing all of the agents first loves, weird friends and more special guests. Stay tuned to find out everything we ever wanted to know and see everything you ever wished to have happened in all the nine season. Stay tuned!
And cut to commercial break. I am so proud to be directing this show, it brings tears to my heart. Brian then turned his attention to Mrs Follmer. Mrs Follmer can I please have a look at the photos of that good looking son of your?
He winked at Brad, Brad slowly backs away and runs into the bathroom, locking the door behind him with a slam.
