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Part 10 - Enemies
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Welcome back to the show. Now in this part of the show we shall be talking about enemies. The crowed cheered, the guests groaned. First of all we shall bring out probably the most hated enemy in the entire show. Cancer Man! All the guests gasped with horror. He was supposed to be dead! Cancer man walked out onto the stage. He didn't walk to his seat, he just stood at the entrance. He was of course smoking a cigarette. Hey smokey get in your seat. Nicola instructed.

I don't think I will be doing that. He said as he took another drag from his cigarette.

And why the hell not? Nicola asked.

Because I have information on you that would lead to your embarrassment and so I shall do what I like, otherwise I shall be forced to tell everyone your deepest darkest secrets. He threatened, taking yet another drag from his cigarette.

You may have my deepest and darkest secret up your sleeve, but I have one of yours that is deeper and blacker than your cancerous lungs. Nicola told him with an evil smile. Cancer Man laughed, taking another drag from his cigarette before replying.

No one has ever been able to find out my deepest and darkest secret. I doubt a little teenager such as yourself will be able to.

Well then you wont mind if I just say it out loud, you know, since it's impossible for me to find out your secret, I must be wrong. Nicola said.

Please go ahead, I'm very interested in hearing what you think you've found. He took a long drag from his cigarette. Nicola cleared her throat before beginning.

When you were a little boy, a few thousand years ago, and the movie Snow White came out, at the cinema you saw it in, you... Nicola is interrupted.

WHOA! Just frickin whoa! How did you find out about that? Cancer man was in shock.

That's for me to know and you to sit and wander, now sit down before I tell everyone the rest of the story! Nicola instructed and Cancer Man instantly co-operated. Mulder looked on in shock.

How the hell did you get him to listen to you? I mean, how could a 16 year old girl, get a man, who is in control of basically everything and who has no files about him on any sort of database, find his deepest, darkest, most embarrassing secret and get him to do as she said?

Sheer talent. Nicola looked back down at her notes. Okay, now Mulder why do you hate Cancer Boy so much?

He's an asshole and a murderer. Mulder said simply.

Good enough. Cancer Man, why do you think everyone hates you so much?

Because they're all jealous of the power I have! He started to do an evil laugh that reminds everyone of Dr Evil from Austin Powers.

Actually, I hate to tell you this, but I feel like I should, everyone hates you because... Nicola paused as she prepared to tell him the truth. Dude you frickin stink! Cancer Mans face went into a look of shock. He suddenly got up from his seat and ran into the bathroom in tears. Everyone was in flabbergasted at the site. Nicola turned to everyone on the stage. It took you guys 9 years to kill him, so that he staid dead, and it took me less than 5 minutes to have him in tears. What's up with that? Nicola asked.

How the hell did you do that?!?! Dana asked as she yelled out the question.

Like I said earlier, sheer talent. Now onto the next bad guy. Please welcome, the Bounty Hunter!

Oh god! How many of them are there? Mulder yelled out to know one in particular. The bounty hunter came on stage and sat down in his seat.

Now Mr Bounty Hunter. Many of your brothers have been killed by our guests. How does that make you feel? Nicola asked him. He took a deep breath before answering.

Really sad. I mean, I loved my brothers. I loved to spend time with them you know. We had so much fun, oozing green blood and killing some people. But now I have no one to ooze with. I'm all on my own now! Much to everyone disbelief, the bounty hunter started crying. The audience went aaw'.

He's crying? Doggett couldn't believe it. Mr Big Bad Alien Bounty Hunter is crying?

I have a right to cry. The bounty hunter defended and then ran off stage in tears and locked himself in the same bathroom as Cancer Man had just run into. Everyone stared at the door in disbelief as his sobs could still be heard.

Okay, just to get this right, one 16 year old girl has manage to reduce a man who has all kinds of power over everyone and an alien that can look like anyone he wants to into tears and they have both run off stage to the bathroom to cry? Mulder had to make sure he was seeing this right.

Yeah, pretty much. Nicola states.

Okay, I just had to make sure I wasn't dreaming or having a psychotic breakdown.

No more than usual, so don't worry. Nicola turned to the camera. That's it for this part of the show. I have to warn you that we are running out of topics, as you could probably tell from this part of the show. No one was embarrassed. So please if you have an requests or if I've missed out your request from earlier, then request it again! See you after the break for more.