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Part 12 - Mutants / Aliens
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And action people! Brian yelled.

Welcome back to the 12th part of the show, I gotta tell you all, when I started the show. I had no idea it would last this long. Thank you. How about a round of applause for everyone at home? The audience applauded, screamed and cheered. The guests on stage gave the camera a death glare. After all, it was the viewers at home who had chosen all the topics. Now moving to our next and probably final topic for the show, but don't worry there still is another part, where I have something special planned. Nicola looked to the guests and smiled. The guests swallowed the huge lumps that had just formed in their throats. Anyway out next topic is, mutants! The audience went ooooh'. Let bring on our first mutant ... Tooms!

No! He was crushed in the escalator! Mulder yelled out.

Did you actually see a body? Nope. You saw a little bit of blood, that was it, so really we had no proof that he was actually dead. Nicola told him. Mulder sat back down as he realised something ... She was right.

Tooms walked onto the stage and took a seat. His eyes started going yellow as he looked into the audience and his eyes settled on Nicola. His mouth hung slightly open with his tongue tracing the line of his lips. His eyes locked on her. Nicola could instantly tell what he was thinking.

Don't even think about it dude. You even try it and I shall rip the part of you which makes you a man ... Mutant man in your case, Nicola threatened him, he instantly went back to normal (well normal for him) and placed his hands over his private parts for protection. Now Mr Tooms, why do you have an obsession with livers?

I do not have an obsession! ... They just help me live forever ... So I can have more livers! ... They give me everything I need for hibernation ... Livers are so useful ... Livers are just the best organ ever! ... Livers rule!

Okay, buddy calm down or I shall take your liver. He instantly complied with her threat. Okay our next mutant guest is from season eight and was the first X Files case that Doggett investigated. Please welcome The Vampire ... Bat ... Thing ... Whatever the hell it was!

John and Dana's eyes widened in horror, after all this thing was meant to be coming after them. The vampire / bat / thing makes it's way to it's seat. When a spotlight was placed on him he screamed in pain and dissolved right before everyone's very eyes. Nothing was left but a pile of dust.

Nicola muttered. Someone get a dustpan and brush! She yelled out to a stage hand who quickly comes and clears the mess up. Next mutant is the Fluke Man ... Worm ... Thing. Nicola turned her head to the side of the set. Bring out the giant tank! She yelled. A group of people came out from the side of the stage pushing and pulling a giant tank with dirty water onto the stage. Nicola walked up to the tank. Hello? Any one ... thing in there? She tapped the glass repeatedly. The fluke worm suddenly came up right next to the glass. Nicola took a step back before she realised something, it didn't look so threatening. Who's a cute little killer fluke worm man thing? She continued to talk baby talk.

Nicola ... You might want to NOT taunt the mutant bad guy guests. Brian suggested.

It's trapped behind a big load of glass silly. To make the point Nicola once again tapped on the glass. All of a sudden, the glass broke and the mutant grabbed hold of Nicola's arm. Ew! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF ME! Security guards came and pulled the mutant away from Nicola. She quickly grabbed something which had been hidden behind her seat, aimed it at the fluke man and yelled out. Clear the area now! A second later Nicola pressed the on button and everyone could see now it was a flame thrower. The mutant screamed in pain before it ran into the toilet while on fire. The door was shut behind it and everyone heard the toilet flush. Nicola turned off the flame thrower and placed it back behind her seat. The guards took the tank off the stage. Nicola sat down in her seat and when she looked up noticed everyone staring at her.

Who the hell keeps a flame frickin thrower under their seat? Monica asked.

I do! Now sit down or I'll be tempted to get it out again! Everyone quickly returned to their seats. A crazy 16 years old with a flame thrower was something they did not want to handle. Well ... um ... There are no more mutant guests because the others you actually killed or we couldn't capture them in our really big net. But I do have an emergency topic! The guests moan. So Mr Tooms can go to the cafeteria where there's a special today, liver and onions. He runs off the stage, followed by a cloud of smoke. Okay ... Now this has been on my mind for a while now. How many kinds of alien are actually out there? The guests on stage shrug their shoulders in response. Well first come on out Mr Alien Bounty Hunter! Nicola calls. The alien bounty hunter walks out on stage. He doesn't do anything bad, he just takes a seat.

Why is he being ... good? Mulder asked.

Because I threatened to kill him, after all he is the last of his kind since you guys killed his brother. Nicole explains to them. No one notices a tear slid down the bounty hunters cheek.

Come on out Mr Faceless Rebel! Nicola calls out. A faceless rebel being led by a guide dog comes out of stage. He reaches his hand out to the seat to feel where it is, but somehow manages to miss it and fall flat on his ass. The audience and the guests burst out laughing. A stage hand comes out and helps him sit down. Thank you Mr Faceless Rebel to come on the show, I would ask you some questions but its not like you could answer them anyway. The faceless rebel nods his head and settles into his chair. So that's two so far. Let's see. She looks down at the cards in front of her. Mr Knowle Rohrer!

NO! He got smashed into some rocks back at that desert place! Monica screamed out.

Well he's back just for the show, Nicola told her as Knowle Rohrer sat down in his seat. And to prove that he really is indestructible ... A stage hand came onto the stage with a very sharp and very large sword in his hands. He pushed it into Knowle Rohrer's stomach all the way through the back of the chair. Knowle Rohrer laughed, pulled the sword out of his and threw it at Nicola, landing just inches from her feet. Nice throw. Nicola takes something out of her pocket, no one can see what it is. My turn! Nicola then throws the object to Knowle Rohrer where it lands in his lap.

He screams in pain and starts to go grey, he's turning into what looks like metal. And then once he's covered in what looks like metal, he explodes in his seat.

What the hell was that? Dana yells out.

Magnetite, you know the only thing that can kill them, Nicola tells her. Nicola looks down at the cards in her hands. Okay that's three. Next we have the black oil, but couldn't be on the show because it is currently frozen in a huge load of ice. So that makes four. Next we have the really little aliens with the big creepy black eyes, who we had no way to contact for them to come out. So that's five. That's all I can remember at the moment, well the only ones on your show. Nicola pauses for a moment. So I guess we'll go to a break ... But she's interrupted.

Some one screams in the audience.

Nicola yells back.

Help! She's having a baby! A guy started calling.

Bring her down over here, there's more room, someone get some blankets and hot water. Dana instructs going into her Dr Dana Scully mode. Everyone does as she instructs, the pregnant woman is brought onto the stage and placed on the floor with a pillow under her head. Dana is next to her. Just keep breathing, that's it breathe ... She's interrupted by Nicola.

What the hell else is she going to do? Hold her breath? Nicola asks.

Not helping! Dana tells her.

It wasn't meant to help! I'm just saying she's not exactly going to hold her breath! Nicola tells her. Dana looks at her, she doesn't really have an argument back.

Nicola turns to the camera. I think it's time for a commercial break. After the break we'll see if it's a girl or a boy and then we'll be be discussing our final topic for the show. Yes I'm afraid the show is coming to an end. Everyone of the guests grins See you after the break!

And cut! Brian calls. Nicola turns her attention to Dana who is coaching the woman through birth.

That's it, push, keep pushing...

Push? What the hell else is she going to do, hold it in her?

NOT HELPING! Dana yells at Nicola.

And again! IT WASN'T MEANT TO!