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Part 13 - Sickly Food / Darkest Secret
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And we're back, first let me announce that the woman who went into labour at the end of the last part had twins ... and she has named them Mulder and Scully after our very own guests. The crowd went aw' as the guests on stage smiled at the memory of the new twins born. And now you guys will all be happy to hear that I have found some topics which have not been discussed! That's right, the show is still going! Before we begin I have to inform everyone that Assistant Director Walter Skinner could not be in this part of the show. He went missing during the commercial break, but don't worry we have police and security looking for him and some vicious dogs sniffing him out ... We just need to find him before the dogs do, they still think if they find a missing object, animal or person that they can to eat it. So good luck to Mr Walter Skinner. Everyone on the stage eyes went wide, that explained the empty seat. Now our fist topic will be weird and unusual food. What have the Agents eaten which is just to disgusting to imagine? Well you're about to find out! Nicola sat down in front the the guests, she looked at the cards in her hands and then looked up at the guests. Now since I know none of you will willingly volunteer a story or anything, I guess I'll have to tell everyone for you. Nicola turned to Mulder. Everyone moaned at the thought.

I was three years old! He defended.

It's still disgusting. Nicola turned to Scully. Candle wax?

I was only a little kid! And it looked a lot like candy to me!

Even with the fire burning at the top of it didn't give it away that it wasn't edible, Nicola commented. She turned to John. Plastic fruit?

It looked very real when I was a kid, John defended.

When I was a kid even I knew it wasn't edible. Nicola turned to Monica. Rocks? How the hell can you eat rocks?

I was only four! And I learnt rocks weren't edible the hard way.

What happened? Nicola asked.

I swallowed one but it didn't go down, Mama had to rip it out of my throat herself otherwise I would have died, Monica explained. Nicola turned to the camera.

So kids remember rocks are not edible. She turned to Brad.

Like everyone else I was only four and to a four year old paint can look very tasty! Brad defended. I bet even you ate something that was meant to be inedible when you were little.

Actually no I didn't. I actually knew what was food and what was not. Nicola looked down at her topic cards and back up. Now moving along from horrible food we go to secrets and dirty secrets! The guests on stage swallowed the huge lumps that had just formed in their throats. Now let me see Special Agent John Doggett, what is your darkest secret?

I don't have any secrets.

I find that hard to believe. So on Christmas 93, when you and Special Agent Monica Reyes were at a bar and you both had a little to much too drink, you found yourselves in the bathroom where you ...

Monica and John yelled out in unison, horror written all over their faces.

I thought you didn't have anything to hide? Nicola asked innocently.

Okay, so I lied, John stated.

Now the whole world knows John Jay Doggett is a liar, Nicola told him.

Only when you're the one asking the questions! John defended.

Good point there. Okay let's move onto ... Special Agent Spooky Mulder. Your darkest secret ... is that you love to play with baby toys!

I DO NOT! Mulder yelled out.

We have a special guest just to prove a point. A woman carrying baby William on her hip and a bag over her other shoulder came out from backstage. She stopped in front of Mulder and placed William on the floor. She knelt down and out of the bag produced a number of baby toys. Mulder's eyes went wide. An almost childish look came on his face. The woman finished unpacking the toys and walked off the stage.

Oh look William is alone, I better play with him and the toys so he doesn't feel alone, after all that's what all parents do with their ... OH MY GOD! A BARNEY THE DINOSAUR STUFFED TOY! Mulder grabbed the toy and pulled the stuffed dinosaur into a big hug.

Case proven and closed! Nicola smiled triumphantly. Now Dana, you darkest secret ... When you were little, your parents thought you were the perfect little girl, sweet and innocent ... WRONG! We found out that when you were seven you buried a fellow classmate's head in the sandpit.

I was seven! And that kid made fun of me! Dana defended.

Do you remember who this poor, innocent, defenceless child was? Nicola asked.

No, it was a long time ago ... not that I'm old or anything, Dana quickly added. Everyone looked at her disbelievingly.

Nicola whispered. She turned to John. Doggett, so any of these events sound familiar to you?

I don't know what you're talking about, he said, unbelievably.

Wait John, Monica interrupted. I remember, you were that boy.

And how would you know that? Nicola asked, adding yet another lovely twist to this whole thing.

Because, I ... Monica started to shift in her seat uncomfortably. I helped Dana bury the boy in the sand pit.

You what?! John yelled. That was you?"

Yeah, but it was all fun in games. Monica gave him an innocent smile.

I couldn't get the taste of sand out of my mouth for weeks. John couldn't believe that she had helped bury his head in the sand.

I'm sorry, I promise never to bury your head in the sand again, Monica promised as she held up her right hand like a boy scout. Scouts honour.

You were never a scout, John stated.

Whatever, I won't bury your head in the sand again, I promise as much as it may tempt me I shall resist the urges, Monica told him. He nodded in satisfaction.

Now Special Agent Monica Reyes, your deepest ... darkest ... secret is ... the same as Assistant Director Brad Follmer ... your relationship in New York! Nicola announced.

Which is over with. Dead and buried. NEVER to be resurrected, Monica stated firmly.

But Monica, I love you, Brad told her honestly.

Our relationship is six feet under. Monica ignored his words.

Brad started but again Monica interrupts him.

SIX FEET UNDER! DEAD! BURIED! CREMATED! GONE! NEVER TO RETURN! Her voice became stronger with each word. Brad looked at her shocked and then he looked down and gazed at the ground. It was really over, he quickly wiped a tear which had escaped his eye before anyone saw. Nicola turned to the camera.

Stay tuned for more. Don't forget to request your topics or any questions you want answered, let me know.

And we're out, Brian calls. As soon as he does Brad stood up from his seat and as casually as he could walked to the bathroom. He closed the door with a loud slam and locked it behind him. Everyone stared at the door as they could hear the noises of someone crying.

I'm just going to go talk to him, Monica told John softly. She walked over to the door and gently knocked. Brad? It's me Monica. Are you ... Before she could finish her question the door is quickly opened and she was pulled in by Brad's arms. The door was slammed and locked after she was pulled in. Everyone looked on in shock.