'So who were those guys, Colonel?' BJ asked at breakfast the next morning.
'We don't know, yet. One tells us they thought we were an enemy base, another said they thought Klinger was a Korean trying to take over the camp, and the other two say they were just following orders. It's a mystery,' Potter replied.
'I bet Klinger and I could get them to talk,' Izzy said unexpectedly.
'Yeah? How?' Hawkeye asked interestedly.
'Well, odds are they don't know Klinger. If we showed him to them now, they wouldn't recognise him as the man from last night. Klinger goes in with a gun and wearing one of his dresses, and we tell those four men his crazy and said he'd kill them if they don't tell us the truth. Their stories will match up more, I promise,' Izzy said. Hawkeye laughed.
'It's a good idea, but I don't think we should try it,' Potter said.
'Why not?' Izzy demanded.
'Oh shush up, Parker! If the Colonel says you can't do it, you can't do it!' Frank snapped.
'Frank, you better shush up yourself before I punch you,' Hawkeye said loudly.
'As I was saying, it wouldn't be a good idea because we don't know who these people are,' Potter said.
'So?' Klinger asked.
'We might get into trouble if we threaten someone's people. I'm not going to pull you out of any mess you make, Izzy, if you go ahead with this. Or you, Klinger,' Potter said.
'Fine, we understand that. Can we try?' Izzy asked. Potter sighed.
'Your own skins, got it?'
'Yes sir,' Klinger and Izzy said before standing up.
'Coming?' Izzy asked Hawkeye and BJ.
'Ok, just in case,' Hawkeye said. Klinger went to his tent to find his most startling dress, while Izzy, Hawkeye and BJ went to where the four strange men where healing.
'Hi,' Izzy said, waving to them. One of them refused to look at her, but the other three seemed glad of company.
'They say a kid shot us. That'd be you, right?' one asked. Izzy nodded.
'I'm sorry, I thought you were trying to take over camp. I had to stop you,' Izzy explained. 'By the way, have you seen a small, dark haired man, with a big nose in here? He's gone missing, you see.'
'Missing?' one asked.
'Yeah, he's crazy, we have to keep an eye on him at all times. Stupid army won't let him go,' Hawkeye said.
'He's easy enough to spot. He'll be the only man in the camp wearing a dress, and carrying a gun,' BJ added.
'He shouldn't have a gun, we keep them all safely locked up,' Hawkeye said.
'Oh! I don't think I locked the gun safe!' Izzy said.
'We better go check,' BJ said.
'We'll tell you when we find him,' Hawkeye told the four men as they ran from the room.
'Now, we leave it to Klinger,' Izzy said.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
'Do you think they were for real? Do you think there really is a crazy man around this camp somewhere?' one of the men asked. His name was Jones, and was the youngest of the four.
'No, they're just playing us for idiots,' growled a man known as Smith.
'You never know. I can't remember the outfit, but I heard there was a MASH unit filled with mad surgeons,' Drew said.
'Yeah, these guys aren't mad. They fixed us up, didn't they?' Johnson asked.
'I suppose,' Drew said.
'Like I told you, they're just messing with our heads, oldest trick of the book,' Smith said. Suddenly, a man came into the tent. He was short with dark hair and had a big nose, like the girl had described. He was wearing a long dress, and swinging a gun around his head.
'What are you doing in this camp?' Klinger demanded loudly. 'YOU!' he pointed the gun at Jones.
'We're here on orders of Colonel Flagg,' he trembled.
'Idiot!' Smith yelled. Klinger swung the gun in his direction. 'Remember what we've been told, death before treachery.' Klinger poked him in the side with the gun. 'Ok, treachery before death,' Smith said. 'Flagg sent us.'
'He told us to find a Private Parker, and to have him taken into Seoul,' offered Johnson. 'Said he was a communist sympathizer.'
'I'm not a communist sympathizer!' Izzy said, entering the room.
'You're Private Parker?' Drew asked. 'Flagg sent us in to get a girl?'
'Flagg sent us to get some kid?' Smith sounded annoyed.
'Hey, this kid shot all of you last night when you invaded our camp,' Hawkeye warned.
'Yes, Flagg sent you to get Izzy,' BJ said. 'And we thank you for telling us Flagg was behind all this.'
'I told you they were playing you for chumps,' Smith growled.
'Oh, and that crazy MASH unit you've been hearing about? That's us,' Izzy said, before turning back out of the room to go see Potter.
'We don't know, yet. One tells us they thought we were an enemy base, another said they thought Klinger was a Korean trying to take over the camp, and the other two say they were just following orders. It's a mystery,' Potter replied.
'I bet Klinger and I could get them to talk,' Izzy said unexpectedly.
'Yeah? How?' Hawkeye asked interestedly.
'Well, odds are they don't know Klinger. If we showed him to them now, they wouldn't recognise him as the man from last night. Klinger goes in with a gun and wearing one of his dresses, and we tell those four men his crazy and said he'd kill them if they don't tell us the truth. Their stories will match up more, I promise,' Izzy said. Hawkeye laughed.
'It's a good idea, but I don't think we should try it,' Potter said.
'Why not?' Izzy demanded.
'Oh shush up, Parker! If the Colonel says you can't do it, you can't do it!' Frank snapped.
'Frank, you better shush up yourself before I punch you,' Hawkeye said loudly.
'As I was saying, it wouldn't be a good idea because we don't know who these people are,' Potter said.
'So?' Klinger asked.
'We might get into trouble if we threaten someone's people. I'm not going to pull you out of any mess you make, Izzy, if you go ahead with this. Or you, Klinger,' Potter said.
'Fine, we understand that. Can we try?' Izzy asked. Potter sighed.
'Your own skins, got it?'
'Yes sir,' Klinger and Izzy said before standing up.
'Coming?' Izzy asked Hawkeye and BJ.
'Ok, just in case,' Hawkeye said. Klinger went to his tent to find his most startling dress, while Izzy, Hawkeye and BJ went to where the four strange men where healing.
'Hi,' Izzy said, waving to them. One of them refused to look at her, but the other three seemed glad of company.
'They say a kid shot us. That'd be you, right?' one asked. Izzy nodded.
'I'm sorry, I thought you were trying to take over camp. I had to stop you,' Izzy explained. 'By the way, have you seen a small, dark haired man, with a big nose in here? He's gone missing, you see.'
'Missing?' one asked.
'Yeah, he's crazy, we have to keep an eye on him at all times. Stupid army won't let him go,' Hawkeye said.
'He's easy enough to spot. He'll be the only man in the camp wearing a dress, and carrying a gun,' BJ added.
'He shouldn't have a gun, we keep them all safely locked up,' Hawkeye said.
'Oh! I don't think I locked the gun safe!' Izzy said.
'We better go check,' BJ said.
'We'll tell you when we find him,' Hawkeye told the four men as they ran from the room.
'Now, we leave it to Klinger,' Izzy said.
**~~*~~*~~*~~**
'Do you think they were for real? Do you think there really is a crazy man around this camp somewhere?' one of the men asked. His name was Jones, and was the youngest of the four.
'No, they're just playing us for idiots,' growled a man known as Smith.
'You never know. I can't remember the outfit, but I heard there was a MASH unit filled with mad surgeons,' Drew said.
'Yeah, these guys aren't mad. They fixed us up, didn't they?' Johnson asked.
'I suppose,' Drew said.
'Like I told you, they're just messing with our heads, oldest trick of the book,' Smith said. Suddenly, a man came into the tent. He was short with dark hair and had a big nose, like the girl had described. He was wearing a long dress, and swinging a gun around his head.
'What are you doing in this camp?' Klinger demanded loudly. 'YOU!' he pointed the gun at Jones.
'We're here on orders of Colonel Flagg,' he trembled.
'Idiot!' Smith yelled. Klinger swung the gun in his direction. 'Remember what we've been told, death before treachery.' Klinger poked him in the side with the gun. 'Ok, treachery before death,' Smith said. 'Flagg sent us.'
'He told us to find a Private Parker, and to have him taken into Seoul,' offered Johnson. 'Said he was a communist sympathizer.'
'I'm not a communist sympathizer!' Izzy said, entering the room.
'You're Private Parker?' Drew asked. 'Flagg sent us in to get a girl?'
'Flagg sent us to get some kid?' Smith sounded annoyed.
'Hey, this kid shot all of you last night when you invaded our camp,' Hawkeye warned.
'Yes, Flagg sent you to get Izzy,' BJ said. 'And we thank you for telling us Flagg was behind all this.'
'I told you they were playing you for chumps,' Smith growled.
'Oh, and that crazy MASH unit you've been hearing about? That's us,' Izzy said, before turning back out of the room to go see Potter.