Disclaimer: Ditto for the last chapter.

Eep! _ I haven't updated in how long? Sorry about that.

Nutmeg-for-the-sqirrlies: Veronica, eh? Tell her I said hello. b^_^d Hehe, that is cool!

Piratelf: Finally some Sam/Jack bonding! Aren't you proud of me? *beams*

Unrefined: No, sorry. She doesn't have ADD, she's not that complex. Sam is simply a schizophrenic hyper person who happens to like donkeys. ^_^

Cecile Li: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. ^_^

I GOT MY FIRST FLAME! Yes, some vulgar rude person emailed me and totally bashed up my story. This person said that I haven't an ounce creativity, that this story is worth crap, that it's a Mary Sue, that everyone is now dumber for reading this, and then finished off the email with personal nonsensical attacks against me. I shall respond to each attack in order.

You haven't an ounce of creativity: He's MY Pirate is about 50 pages long so far and it's only about halfway done. I believe I have the right to assume that I have at least one ounce of creativity.

Your story is worth crap: How can you know that unless you tested crap? If you didn't you are a dirty liar and if you did then you have issues.

Your story is a Mary Sue: I'm trying very hard to not make it a Mary Sue and I believe that I have done pretty well so far. She can't sing, she's loud, she's annoying, she's pretty plain (of course she's beautiful in Will's eyes, though ^_^), a schizo, and other such things.

Everyone is dumber for reading your story: BLATANT ADAM SANDLER RIP OFF!

You are [censored]: O_O Didn't your mama teach that if you can't say something nice then not to say anything at all? My god, you've got a mouth on you. All I have to say to this is that you are an extremely puerile and jejune twat.

I'm still sort of in shock that someone could debase him/herself enough to do that. But on the other hand, it's quite exciting! My little fic is becoming bigger! *sniffle* They grow up so fast. *blows nose loudly and sobs on Will's shoulder*     

Chapter 7: Hangovers

"Frumpity wumbo! Shwiggity shwang!"

I slouched in my chair, a bottle of rum in each hand, as I belted out the nonsensical words. Jack hooted from his seat on the floor, he had fallen from his chair long ago.

"Hahar! Yer've got it, luv'! More gibberish!"

Encouraged by his shouts, I stood up, knocking my chair over in the process, and continued my song, swaying dangerously.

"Habby shawaka dekooky choo ZANG!"

"Ha harrr!" Jack bellowed, flopping over onto his back.

Tipping over, I fell to the ground with a bump and burst into a fit of giggles. I took one of the bottles and threw back my head for a gulp. Only two drops fell into my mouth. No! I threw the empty bottle away and took a swig from the other one. Yummy rummy. I giggled and hugged the half-empty bottle to my chest.

"Rum! Rum! Good old rum! Rummy's yummyyyyyyyy! Good ol' rummy!"

Another burst if giggles forced me to halt in my song and I flopped over next to Jack, who was still laughing fit to burst.

A few hours ago, I had been looking for Jack to ask him a question and had found him in his cabin, drunk. Against my better judgment, I tried some of the offered rum and voila. Here we were.

Right when I was in the middle of a particularly loud guffaw, the door burst open and a rather angry looking Will marched into the room.

"Samantha Mildred Cooper! What in god's name do you think you're doing?"

I peered up at him and grinned foolishly, waving a rum bottle at him.

"Hiya, Willypoo!"

He frowned and furrowed his eyebrows as he looked from me to Jack, who was lying next to me.

"What have you been doing?!"

In my inebriated state, I failed to notice the tinge of alarm in his voice. Sitting up as best I could, I put an arm around Jack's shoulders affectionately and grinned at him.

"Me 'n Jack are best pals now, right Jack?"

He grinned back at me and his arm curled around my waist. "Righ' you are, me beauty."

Giggling, I took another swig from my bottle. I gave a small whine of protest as Will viciously grabbed it from me and threw it across the room, effectively smashing it against the wall.

I squinted at the mess. "You wasted me rum!"

"And good riddance!" he exclaimed, glaring down at me.

Before I had a chance to say any more, he grabbed my wrists and yanked me to my feet, glaring ferociously at Jack as he did so. Tucking me to his side protectively, he gave Jack one more glare before stalking from the room. Ignoring my protests, he took me to the crew's quarters and pointed to one of the cots.

"Sit."

"But—"

"Sit!"

Scowling, I did as I was told. I looked at my hands as Will left. Why was he mad at me? I needed some rum. Rum made me happy! Happyyyyy! Happyyyy! Ruum maaaaaaakes me happyyyy!

Well I see you've effortlessly made a fool out of yourself.

I crawled up onto the bed and got to my knees, swiveling about desperately to find the source of the mysterious voice.

"Who are you? Where are ya?"

It's me, stupid! Lucy!

"Lucy? Who's Lucy? You know, I once had a bunny named Lucy! No, wait . . . that was Freddy . . . he was a mouse . . . oh well. No matter!"

Shut up!

I snapped my mouth shut. Just as I did, Will returned and held a steaming mug out to me. I looked at him questioningly.

"Coffee," he answered. "Good and strong. It's hot, though, so be careful."

Taking the mug from him, I gingerly took a sip. I scrunched up my face. It wasn't rum! I didn't want coffee! Will's stern glare left me no option, though, and I forced myself to down the whole cup. Sitting back, I let out a big puff of air and gave him a weary smile. Suddenly, I yawned hugely, my lids feeling leaden. Without a word, I slumped over and promptly passed out.

***

I awoke to the sound of light breathing. Slowly opening my bleary eyes, I smacked my lips and yawned. My eyes widened as I saw a foot right in front of my face. Sitting up rapidly, I winced and gasped as my head began pounding relentlessly. Urgh. Rum was the SPAWN OF SATAN!!!

Holding my head, I looked over to the left and saw Will sitting in a chair next to the bed, his feet propped up onto it. Getting up, I staggered over to him and instantly doubled over. Oh lord! My stomach felt like there were two million drunken ducks playing a game of tennis in there!

Stumbling up to Will, I poked his chest. Nothing. I poked it a bit harder. His lips twitched but other than that, nothing. Well, there was nothing else for it. Climbing into his lap, I leaned down to his ear and yelled.

"Help! Elizabeth is dying!"

He mumbled some incoherent gabble under his breath but didn't move any more. Hearing movement behind me, I looked back and saw Jack standing there, an amused expression on his face. I scowled at how, well, normal he looked. Why didn't he have a hangover? I made a mental note to ask him later. For now, I had more important things to deal with.

"Jack, Will won't wake up and I tried the old 'Elizabeth's dying' trick but it didn't seem to work."

Giving me a knowing grin, he sauntered up to us. "'Ere, gimme a go." Leaning down, he yelled in Will's ear, "Will, m' lad, Samantha's drownin'!"

The result was instantaneous. Will started awake and looked about wildly. "Wha-? Where's Sam? What's she . . ."

He looked at me sitting on his lap and cocked an eyebrow. Then he looked from me to Jack to me to Jack to me again. He scowled as he realized what we had done.

"Why couldn't you let me sleep?"

I gave him the puppy dog look. "Because I have a head ache and my tummy huwts," I said in baby talk.

He sighed in exasperation. "Why didn't you ask Jack?"

"Because I didn't know where he was then! Pwease help me?" I gave him the poochy face. Heh. Victory is mine!

He threw up his hands in defeat. "Fine! Argh, you are so . . ."

"What? Irresistible? Adorable?" I fluttered my eyelashes comically.

"Try infuriating and annoying," he mumbled. "Could you get off me now?"

Giving him a sheepish grin and turning slightly pink, I slid off his lap and followed him as he walked out the door. We reached the kitchen, ahem, that is, galley and he ran off into a back room, returning moments later with a strange concoction that smelled (and looked) suspiciously like a mixture of mud, tar, and horse feces.

"I am not drinking, er, eating, uh, WHATEVER! I'm not digesting that foul brew!"

"Just drink it! It'll make you feel better."

I simply shook my head stubbornly.

He glowered at me. "Fine, then! Don't take my help! Feel terrible! See if I care! Maybe Jack can help you!"

And with that, he stomped off. My shoulders slumped. I hadn't meant to be so annoying. And he was just trying to help me when I woke him up to ask him to. I shot the ominous medicine a sideways glance. Picking it up, I sniffed it tentatively. I gagged and my eyes started watering. Ew! I sighed and looked skyward. I might be seeing you soon, Dawn.

Plugging my nose, I took a deep breath and threw my head back, gulping the whole thing down in one go. Dropping the beaker, I started coughing and choking, banging my chest with my fist to get the nauseating stuff down. When my initial urge to vomit had passed, I jumped up and ran to get a glass of water, drinking the clear, sweet liquid as if I had just survived a ten year drought.

I set the now empty glass down and sighed. My head already felt a bit better, as well as my stomach, surprisingly enough. Of course my taste buds were all annihilated and my throat was coated with a layer of filth but, hey! My hangover was gone. Hooray!

Feeling much better, I smiled cheerfully and scuttled out of the galley to find Will and apologize. Wandering through the halls, I realized that I had no idea where the crew's quarters were. I opened the first door I came to and peeked inside. Storage. I walked a bit more and opened the next one. More storage.

I was just about to close the door when something caught my eye. A dress! Opening the door again, I went inside and looked about. The place was full of clothes! It was probably some kind of loot. Maybe I could find some clothes that fit me! With that thought in mind, I started rummaging through everything.

About fifteen minutes later, I was walking down the hall again, feeling much better. I had found a smaller pair of breeches and a smaller pair of boots. I hadn't found a smaller shirt, but I had found a small sewing kit in a pocket of one of the many dresses. With it I had been able to make the shirt smaller myself. Also, I had found a strange petticoat made out of tough brown material which I had made into a small undershirt. I knew very well the horror of wearing a wet white shift and I was sure that a wet white shirt would be no different.

After checking ever door, I ground my teeth as I had yet to find Will. Hm . . . Jack! He'd know where Will was!

I ran up on deck and climbed the stairs to the big steering wheel thingy. Sure enough, there was Jack staring into a compass. I strutted up to him, proud of my new get up.

"Hey, Jack."

He turned to me and grinned, showing his golden teeth. "Samantha, lass. Those suit ye better 'n young Master Will's."

I looked down at my new clothing and answered with a grin of my own. "They are nice aren't they?"

"But they'd look ev'n betta with this!"

Jack produced a small, tattered, three-cornered hat from behind his back and held it out to me. I reverently took it from him, eyes shining, and simply stared at it. Suddenly, I burst out with a loud, "SQUEE!!!" and threw it on my head.

Laughing, I pranced around the deck, making a great show to trip every now and then because of my invisible peg leg.

"Ar, me hearties! Hoist th' anchor an' furl th' sails! Swab th' deck pronto or I'll 'ave yer guts fer garters an' yer tripe fer riggin'! Arrr!" I was forced to halt in my pirate speech as a bout of giggles overtook me.

Sashaying over to Jack, I gave him a hearty hug. "Thank ee, me . . . erm, fellow . . .  pirate person! Arr!"

Chuckling, he disentangled himself from me and turned back to the wheel.

"Jes' remember ye owe me."

I nodded. "Right, right."

I turned to go but suddenly remembered why I had gone to him in the first place.

"Oi, do ye know where Will be?"

"Ov'r that aways, I b'lieve," he pointed to the other end of the ship absentmindedly.

"Thanks, matey."

I heard him chuckling behind me as I bounced off to where he directed me. I soon found Will. He was sitting on the rail with his feet hanging over it, watching the sunset with a frown on his face. I couldn't believe it. He was brooding! Now I knew that Squid Girl was bad for him. He never brooded before! Well, I was determined to see him smile. And so with a resolute look upon my face, I climbed up onto the rail and sat next to him. He turned to me before scowling and looking out again over the water.

I poked his arm. "Will?" As he ignored me, I frowned a bit, hurt. "Aren't you going to talk to me?"

Without looking at me, he said, "I have nothing to say," before falling silent again.

I looked down at my hands. "Look, I know I was a bit annoying this morning and I'm sorry. I took the medicine and it helped a lot. Thank you."

He didn't say anything and I ended the awkward silence with a dejected sigh. "Do you want me to leave you alone? I will if you want me to."

He finally turned to me and in the dark I didn't see the panicked look in his eyes. "No! I accept your apology and thanks. Don't go."

I beamed up at him. "Alright."

He smiled at me and looked back at the sky again. "I see you've found some new clothes. They definitely fit much better."

"Yep. Ooh! And did you notice my hat? Isn't it great?"

"No. I don't like it," he frowned.

My jaw dropped. "How can you not like it? It's practically a smaller, cleaner version of Jack's hat!"

"Exactly."

I looked at him, confused. "You don't like his hat? But it's cool."

"But it's a pirate hat!" he burst out.

I raised an eyebrow. "Good job, Will. Figured that out all by yourself, did you?"

He scowled. "I don't want you looking like a . . . a pirate," he spat the word out.

I placed my hand on his arm to placate him. "I'm just playing around. And it's a really great hat." I gave him the puppy dog look.

Will's eyes widened and he quickly looked away. "That's not going to work this time. Who taught you that anyway?"

"You."

"Oh." He glanced at me and I quickly took the opportunity and poked out my bottom slightly.

He covered his face with his hands and groaned. "Don't do that, damn you!"

I grinned. "So can I wear my hat?"

"I guess."

"Yay!" I gave him a swift hug and settled down again, leaning against him. "So where are we headed anyway?"

"Tortuga."

"That sounds familiar," I said.

He shifted a bit. "We'll probably be there in an hour."

"Really? We're that close?! And just when were you planning on informing me of this?"

He looked a bit sheepish. "I was going to tell you but then I got angry with you."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh well. I doesn't matter."

We fell into a comfortable silence and waited as we drew closer and closer to Tortuga.