Another teensy A/N- Sorry it took so long, I have been really busy, even
though I only had to do the editing and revision for this chapter. But I've
already got the ending, or rather endings done. Which reminds me, anyone
interested in helping me out with deciding which one to use, please email
me at Lailawrites@hotmail.com, or say so in a review. And don't be shy. I
really need the help. I've already written two endings and I've got another
one floating around in this noggin of mine. Anyways, sorry about the lack
of updates. I feel bad when I let my story dip to the bottom of the page,
let alone page three. Sad and guilty. Alright, I'll try to be nicer this
time around and have the next chapter up tomorrow or the next dayish, maybe
the day after that. Okay, A/N not so teensy any more, so I'll stop. Enjoy!
**************************************
The town was slowly refilling as everyone returned to their houses as inconspicuously as possible. Lorelai was still sitting in the middle of the chuppa floor, Nicole was still up on Luke's couch, and Luke's truck was still parked in the middle of the street, where he occasionally leaned back and thumped his head on the side of the truck in exasperation. Taylor had made movements towards him several minutes ago, dying to list off the number of town decrees that prohibited this behaviour, but in an unusual act of good will and concern for Taylor's well being and life, Sookie, Jackson and Miss Patty had been able to distract him and drag him into Al's. They took a window seat, discreetly trying to watch Luke's struggle to decide.
"Poor man..." Miss Patty cooed. "Such a decision. Although I would think that after today his choice would be clear."
"I can't believe he's just parked in the middle of the street. He didn't even pull over. This is a blatant trespass of statutes 6, 34, and 379 b, c, and f of the town charter." Taylor whined, glaring at the traffic light as it changed from red to green and the truck stayed put.
"Be quiet Taylor. He's not exactly causing a five mile traffic jam." Miss Patty scolded.
"I hope he makes the right choice." Sookie sighed, wanting to go out there and beat Luke in the right direction with her baby bag.
"That's Lorelai, right?" Jackson leaned over and whispered to Sookie. Sookie glared at him for a minute and then shook her head, speaking in a painfully slow voice.
"Yes Jackson. We want him to choose Lorelai."
"Alright, just checking."
*********************************
Luke smacked his head against the side of the truck again. He was either going to put a dent in it or put his head through the damn thing if he did this much longer. He had to decide soon or it would be to late to do either. He wanted to just get up and go...but he had to do this right. He couldn't screw this up anymore. No one had really said anything, and neither of them knew exactly when, or how it started, but they both knew that they wanted this now. The timing was just right. And completely wrong at the same time. Nicole and Jason were there. She was involved. Luke was, well, married. This had to be done carefully. It had to be done right. He knew that everyone was staring at him out of their windows.
*********************************
Sookie gasped and started smacking Jackson in the arm.
"Ow, ow, oW, OW!!! Sookie!" Jackson exclaimed, shirking away and nudging the baby carrier a little farther away from Sookie just in case.
"He's getting up!" She whispered excitedly. " Where's he going?" She tried to inconspicuously crane her neck to see wheat Luke was doing, but gave up. Wait a minute, she had a right to be interested in the two of them. They were both friends. And she wasn't going to get a neck injury just because she wanted to be polite. Sookie pulled her chair right up to the window. She watched as Luke pulled himself up, standing still for a minute as he straightened his shirt and his hat. He looked up, knowing that she would be there and looked right at her. Sookie grinned at him and made a shooing motion, trying to hurry him up. She watched him shake his head annoyedly. She could tell that he was shouting 'Why won't this stupid town just leave me alone.' in his head. He slowly took a deep breath and started to walk around the truck.
"Go to Lorelai, go go go go, come on Luke, go to Lorelai's." Sookie was begging under her breath. " Come on Luke.....think Lorelai...."
"It's his decision Sookie." Jackson put his hand on his arm.
"But they deserve each other! They're right, and they just have to get together for once! It's such a perfect opportunity. I just- NO!" Sookie cried out and everyone jumped. She watched as Luke opened up the door to the diner and disappeared into the back. " No Luke! Bad Luke! Not NICOLE!" Everyone else in Al's started to grumble discontentedly, as well, even if only because of the amount of money they had riding on this. Sookie leaned back against Jackson and sighed. " I said Lorelai, not Nicole stupid. Maybe I should have tried reverse psychology."
"You did your best." Jackson tried to comfort her.
"I hate men. You're all so stupid." Sookie scowled, glaring at the diner door.
"We're sorry."
"This so isn't the way it's supposed to work!" Sookie started to protest, holding up her finger. " THIS is not happening. THIS cannot happen. I REFUSE to let my little boy grow up in a world where fairytales don't come true.' She turned back to Jackson, poking his in the chest.
"Ow, Sookie..."
"NO...this is not the world I want little Davey to grow up in. They were supposed to finally realize that they love each other. She's supposed to be the brave single mother who struggled with love and he's supposed to be the stoic but tender diner owner who found someone to mend his broken heart, and they are supposed to fall in love and I am supposed to be a bride's maid and cater their wedding and be the god parent to one of their children. He is not supposed to give up and go back to his miserable marriage and she is not supposed to lose him right when she finally realizes how much he means to her. I refuse to let this happen. No. It will not happen." She shook her head obstinately. " It is not happening. No, if I don't believe it's not happening, it's not happening. So there." Sookie had started off ranting, but by the end her voice was cracking.
"Sookie..." Jackson hugged her sympathetically.
"They're supposed to love each other." Sookie was crying into his shoulder.
"I know."
"The cake was going to be really good." She sniffed.
*********************************
Luke climbed the stairs slowly, not sure what he was going to find. The door to the apartment was open a little bit, and he just pushed it open, staring down at his feet.
"I was wondering when you were going to show up." Nicole was still sitting down on the couch, but she turned around when he came in, tucking her legs underneath her body.
"Look Nicole, I-" Luke started, glancing up uncomfortably.
"Never meant to hurt me? I know."
"I really didn't."
"I know."
"I just... I don't know." Luke looked awkward, trying to gesture something with his hands, but ended up just stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"So this is the end?"
"Nicole...."
"I mean, I do love you Luke, but I have my pride and I can only keep saying you love me alone and fooling myself for so long."
"I..."
"So you really don't love me?" Nicole said simply, but Luke winced a little, and glanced up at her.
"I tried."
"Damn it Luke." Nicole ran her fingers through her hair and exclaimed exasperatedly. Why did you have to lead me on."
"I just didn't want to hurt anyone." He tried to explain.
"Well I think that plan backfired a little."
"We just aren't right for each other. I just don't think we should see each other anymore."
"Luke, I don't know if you care, but we are still married." Nicole wasn't so much angry anymore, as she was annoyed. It's not like she didn't see this as a possibility, she had just kind of hoped it would go away.
"The only reason we're married is because we're not divorced yet." Luke protested.
"I think that supposed to be the general basis of a marriage." She replied sarcastically.
"That's not what I meant." Luke explained.
"I know that! But I thought that when we decided not to get divorced, it was kind of saying that eventually, when we were actually ready, we wouldn't have to get remarried. It was there so that if and when we actually wanted marriage, when we needed it, there would be something right there, to make the whole thing easier."
"Yeah, well I buy fire insurance, but I don't just keep it around because someday, I may decide that today is the day I really want to light the diner on fire to take advantage of it." Luke retorted sarcastically.
"It's not the same thing Luke and you know it. You're just trying to avoid the real problem between us. You're not going to avoid this. We're going to get this all out in the open. I just know I can't waste my life with someone who won't be able to love me completely."
"So what exactly do you want to know?" He asked awkwardly, knowing what was coming and not specifically liking it. Nicole looked him in the eye.
"What does she mean to you Luke. And don't lie to me. Stop lying to your self, stop lying to me, and everyone else." Luke just stared at the wall.
"I don't know."
"Well, is she your friend? Is she your best friend? Do you like her? Do you want her? Do you love her?! You have to decide Luke! This is important...which is it, or is it something else?" Luke swallowed. " Well?....." Nicole stared at him, getting more and more frustrated. " WELL! What is it!"
"LOOK! I DON'T KNOW OKAY!" Luke burst out. He started to pace, and started to rant. " I DON'T KNOW! She's my friend, and my best friend. And she drives me crazy, and I can't stand her, but she can make me do anything she wants. And not because I have to or because she'll get angry, but because I want to. Cause I want to make her happy. It's more important than anything that her and Rory are happy and safe, and I hate it when they're not. And I like when she's happy, cause when she's happy, and I'm the one that makes her happy, even with something that's so stupid and Lorelai, like coffee, or just teasing, or extra whipped cream on her waffles, she smiles at me. And I'm stupid and I'm an idiot. But I like it when she smiles at me alright? It makes-me- feel-special." Luke grumbled, cringing at the last word, like he hated saying it, thought it was so cliche. Nicole just bit her lip and nodded a little bit.
"But do you love her? Or even just like her? Even if you just want her-" Luke's nostrils flared angrily a little at the last part.
"Well, of course I do lo..." He coughed uncomfortably." ......as a friend."
"I don't mean friends Luke. If you two were like....you and Sookie maybe-"
"So this is all just cause she isn't married?"
"No Luke, it's because she's Lorelai Gilmore. You two can't be friends."
"We are friends."
"You can't stay friends. You're on call for her every need all day and all night, you hate it whenever she's with someone, but you make it through, cause you really actually do just want her to be happy. Your morning is a waste if she doesn't come in to talk to you, and when she does come in, you get this light in your eye that most women would die for. And I don't get that from you. I don't light you up Luke."
"What am I, a Christmas tree?" Luke scoffed.
"Do you think that means you're in love with her?"
"Look Nicole, I don't know okay. All I know is that being with her makes me HAPPY okay?! And how am I supposed to know if I love her? It's not like I've every had the opportunity." Luke sighed, collapsing down on the couch.
"If you did, would you?"
"I-"
"WOULD YOU?" She demanded, standing up in front of him
"I don't know. How am I.....? Maybe I - If - I don't know. Maybe I would, alright?" Luke mumbled quietly to his hands.
"Luke, you aren't sure of it yet, but I know that you already do love her, and it's only going to take that opportunity for you to really realize it. And if we stayed married then you would just start to hate me for stopping you from getting that opportunity. You wouldn't even know why, but every time you saw her, or talked to her, you'd hate me a little bit more. And I don't want to live like that. I can't live like that."
"I wanted to make this right." Luke shook his head weakly.
"You're such a good guy Luke." Nicole sighed. "Why did you have to be such a good guy? You can't even let me hate you for all this..... Look, you've got a chance now. I know it. You know it. She knows it too."
"I can't do this if I'm married. It's not right." Nicole put her hand softly on his arm as he looked down at the floor.
"I loved you Luke. I really did. More than you'll know.........I'll get my lawyers to write up the divorce papers again. No visitors this time, just signatures, I promise." Nicole smiled sadly, seeing the look on Luke's face. She kissed Luke one last time, but wasn't surprised when he didn't kiss her back. " Don't waste this. You're giving up a really good thing here. Don't make it for nothing......... And tell her I forfeited." Nicole said with a half smile. " She had too much of an advantage at the start. She already had you and I was trying to win you over."
"Thanks for not trashing my stuff." Luke looked up at her.
"You're welcome, as long at you weren't too fond of a couple of your mugs. I tried to make a cup of tea, but I got a little upset." Nicole grinned sheepishly, and glanced at the trash can in the kitchen.
"I'm sorry." Luke put his hand on her shoulder and looked at her sincerely, but Nicole just nodded in return.
"I know. Bye Luke." Nicole picked up the pile of things she had collected and closed the door quietly behind herself.
"Bye Nicole." He said with a bit of a laugh. He rubbed his temples carefully for a minute, then leaned back on the couch and sighed. The divorce would be taken care of, so now there was only one more thing to do. He lifted his hat and ran his hand through his hair. Luke nodded for a minute and then found his way down the stairs and out to the street, where his truck was still sitting.
****************************
Nicole dropped her things in the back seat of her sedan, and pulled out the list of things she had to do which she had made while sitting on Luke's couch. She pulled a pen out of the glove compartment and checked off the first and second items on the list.
"Break up with husband over his love of another woman....check. Replace anger with sadness and sense of helplessness, followed by acceptance....check. Alright...all I've got left is...." She scanned down the rest of her list. "....booking an appointment with my psychologist, arrange my divorce, call my parents, tell my friends.....and pick up some eggs and carrots." Nicole nodded, folded up the list, tucked it into her pocket and started the car, maneuvering around Luke's truck at the traffic light on her way out of town.
**************************************
The town was slowly refilling as everyone returned to their houses as inconspicuously as possible. Lorelai was still sitting in the middle of the chuppa floor, Nicole was still up on Luke's couch, and Luke's truck was still parked in the middle of the street, where he occasionally leaned back and thumped his head on the side of the truck in exasperation. Taylor had made movements towards him several minutes ago, dying to list off the number of town decrees that prohibited this behaviour, but in an unusual act of good will and concern for Taylor's well being and life, Sookie, Jackson and Miss Patty had been able to distract him and drag him into Al's. They took a window seat, discreetly trying to watch Luke's struggle to decide.
"Poor man..." Miss Patty cooed. "Such a decision. Although I would think that after today his choice would be clear."
"I can't believe he's just parked in the middle of the street. He didn't even pull over. This is a blatant trespass of statutes 6, 34, and 379 b, c, and f of the town charter." Taylor whined, glaring at the traffic light as it changed from red to green and the truck stayed put.
"Be quiet Taylor. He's not exactly causing a five mile traffic jam." Miss Patty scolded.
"I hope he makes the right choice." Sookie sighed, wanting to go out there and beat Luke in the right direction with her baby bag.
"That's Lorelai, right?" Jackson leaned over and whispered to Sookie. Sookie glared at him for a minute and then shook her head, speaking in a painfully slow voice.
"Yes Jackson. We want him to choose Lorelai."
"Alright, just checking."
*********************************
Luke smacked his head against the side of the truck again. He was either going to put a dent in it or put his head through the damn thing if he did this much longer. He had to decide soon or it would be to late to do either. He wanted to just get up and go...but he had to do this right. He couldn't screw this up anymore. No one had really said anything, and neither of them knew exactly when, or how it started, but they both knew that they wanted this now. The timing was just right. And completely wrong at the same time. Nicole and Jason were there. She was involved. Luke was, well, married. This had to be done carefully. It had to be done right. He knew that everyone was staring at him out of their windows.
*********************************
Sookie gasped and started smacking Jackson in the arm.
"Ow, ow, oW, OW!!! Sookie!" Jackson exclaimed, shirking away and nudging the baby carrier a little farther away from Sookie just in case.
"He's getting up!" She whispered excitedly. " Where's he going?" She tried to inconspicuously crane her neck to see wheat Luke was doing, but gave up. Wait a minute, she had a right to be interested in the two of them. They were both friends. And she wasn't going to get a neck injury just because she wanted to be polite. Sookie pulled her chair right up to the window. She watched as Luke pulled himself up, standing still for a minute as he straightened his shirt and his hat. He looked up, knowing that she would be there and looked right at her. Sookie grinned at him and made a shooing motion, trying to hurry him up. She watched him shake his head annoyedly. She could tell that he was shouting 'Why won't this stupid town just leave me alone.' in his head. He slowly took a deep breath and started to walk around the truck.
"Go to Lorelai, go go go go, come on Luke, go to Lorelai's." Sookie was begging under her breath. " Come on Luke.....think Lorelai...."
"It's his decision Sookie." Jackson put his hand on his arm.
"But they deserve each other! They're right, and they just have to get together for once! It's such a perfect opportunity. I just- NO!" Sookie cried out and everyone jumped. She watched as Luke opened up the door to the diner and disappeared into the back. " No Luke! Bad Luke! Not NICOLE!" Everyone else in Al's started to grumble discontentedly, as well, even if only because of the amount of money they had riding on this. Sookie leaned back against Jackson and sighed. " I said Lorelai, not Nicole stupid. Maybe I should have tried reverse psychology."
"You did your best." Jackson tried to comfort her.
"I hate men. You're all so stupid." Sookie scowled, glaring at the diner door.
"We're sorry."
"This so isn't the way it's supposed to work!" Sookie started to protest, holding up her finger. " THIS is not happening. THIS cannot happen. I REFUSE to let my little boy grow up in a world where fairytales don't come true.' She turned back to Jackson, poking his in the chest.
"Ow, Sookie..."
"NO...this is not the world I want little Davey to grow up in. They were supposed to finally realize that they love each other. She's supposed to be the brave single mother who struggled with love and he's supposed to be the stoic but tender diner owner who found someone to mend his broken heart, and they are supposed to fall in love and I am supposed to be a bride's maid and cater their wedding and be the god parent to one of their children. He is not supposed to give up and go back to his miserable marriage and she is not supposed to lose him right when she finally realizes how much he means to her. I refuse to let this happen. No. It will not happen." She shook her head obstinately. " It is not happening. No, if I don't believe it's not happening, it's not happening. So there." Sookie had started off ranting, but by the end her voice was cracking.
"Sookie..." Jackson hugged her sympathetically.
"They're supposed to love each other." Sookie was crying into his shoulder.
"I know."
"The cake was going to be really good." She sniffed.
*********************************
Luke climbed the stairs slowly, not sure what he was going to find. The door to the apartment was open a little bit, and he just pushed it open, staring down at his feet.
"I was wondering when you were going to show up." Nicole was still sitting down on the couch, but she turned around when he came in, tucking her legs underneath her body.
"Look Nicole, I-" Luke started, glancing up uncomfortably.
"Never meant to hurt me? I know."
"I really didn't."
"I know."
"I just... I don't know." Luke looked awkward, trying to gesture something with his hands, but ended up just stuffing his hands in his pockets.
"So this is the end?"
"Nicole...."
"I mean, I do love you Luke, but I have my pride and I can only keep saying you love me alone and fooling myself for so long."
"I..."
"So you really don't love me?" Nicole said simply, but Luke winced a little, and glanced up at her.
"I tried."
"Damn it Luke." Nicole ran her fingers through her hair and exclaimed exasperatedly. Why did you have to lead me on."
"I just didn't want to hurt anyone." He tried to explain.
"Well I think that plan backfired a little."
"We just aren't right for each other. I just don't think we should see each other anymore."
"Luke, I don't know if you care, but we are still married." Nicole wasn't so much angry anymore, as she was annoyed. It's not like she didn't see this as a possibility, she had just kind of hoped it would go away.
"The only reason we're married is because we're not divorced yet." Luke protested.
"I think that supposed to be the general basis of a marriage." She replied sarcastically.
"That's not what I meant." Luke explained.
"I know that! But I thought that when we decided not to get divorced, it was kind of saying that eventually, when we were actually ready, we wouldn't have to get remarried. It was there so that if and when we actually wanted marriage, when we needed it, there would be something right there, to make the whole thing easier."
"Yeah, well I buy fire insurance, but I don't just keep it around because someday, I may decide that today is the day I really want to light the diner on fire to take advantage of it." Luke retorted sarcastically.
"It's not the same thing Luke and you know it. You're just trying to avoid the real problem between us. You're not going to avoid this. We're going to get this all out in the open. I just know I can't waste my life with someone who won't be able to love me completely."
"So what exactly do you want to know?" He asked awkwardly, knowing what was coming and not specifically liking it. Nicole looked him in the eye.
"What does she mean to you Luke. And don't lie to me. Stop lying to your self, stop lying to me, and everyone else." Luke just stared at the wall.
"I don't know."
"Well, is she your friend? Is she your best friend? Do you like her? Do you want her? Do you love her?! You have to decide Luke! This is important...which is it, or is it something else?" Luke swallowed. " Well?....." Nicole stared at him, getting more and more frustrated. " WELL! What is it!"
"LOOK! I DON'T KNOW OKAY!" Luke burst out. He started to pace, and started to rant. " I DON'T KNOW! She's my friend, and my best friend. And she drives me crazy, and I can't stand her, but she can make me do anything she wants. And not because I have to or because she'll get angry, but because I want to. Cause I want to make her happy. It's more important than anything that her and Rory are happy and safe, and I hate it when they're not. And I like when she's happy, cause when she's happy, and I'm the one that makes her happy, even with something that's so stupid and Lorelai, like coffee, or just teasing, or extra whipped cream on her waffles, she smiles at me. And I'm stupid and I'm an idiot. But I like it when she smiles at me alright? It makes-me- feel-special." Luke grumbled, cringing at the last word, like he hated saying it, thought it was so cliche. Nicole just bit her lip and nodded a little bit.
"But do you love her? Or even just like her? Even if you just want her-" Luke's nostrils flared angrily a little at the last part.
"Well, of course I do lo..." He coughed uncomfortably." ......as a friend."
"I don't mean friends Luke. If you two were like....you and Sookie maybe-"
"So this is all just cause she isn't married?"
"No Luke, it's because she's Lorelai Gilmore. You two can't be friends."
"We are friends."
"You can't stay friends. You're on call for her every need all day and all night, you hate it whenever she's with someone, but you make it through, cause you really actually do just want her to be happy. Your morning is a waste if she doesn't come in to talk to you, and when she does come in, you get this light in your eye that most women would die for. And I don't get that from you. I don't light you up Luke."
"What am I, a Christmas tree?" Luke scoffed.
"Do you think that means you're in love with her?"
"Look Nicole, I don't know okay. All I know is that being with her makes me HAPPY okay?! And how am I supposed to know if I love her? It's not like I've every had the opportunity." Luke sighed, collapsing down on the couch.
"If you did, would you?"
"I-"
"WOULD YOU?" She demanded, standing up in front of him
"I don't know. How am I.....? Maybe I - If - I don't know. Maybe I would, alright?" Luke mumbled quietly to his hands.
"Luke, you aren't sure of it yet, but I know that you already do love her, and it's only going to take that opportunity for you to really realize it. And if we stayed married then you would just start to hate me for stopping you from getting that opportunity. You wouldn't even know why, but every time you saw her, or talked to her, you'd hate me a little bit more. And I don't want to live like that. I can't live like that."
"I wanted to make this right." Luke shook his head weakly.
"You're such a good guy Luke." Nicole sighed. "Why did you have to be such a good guy? You can't even let me hate you for all this..... Look, you've got a chance now. I know it. You know it. She knows it too."
"I can't do this if I'm married. It's not right." Nicole put her hand softly on his arm as he looked down at the floor.
"I loved you Luke. I really did. More than you'll know.........I'll get my lawyers to write up the divorce papers again. No visitors this time, just signatures, I promise." Nicole smiled sadly, seeing the look on Luke's face. She kissed Luke one last time, but wasn't surprised when he didn't kiss her back. " Don't waste this. You're giving up a really good thing here. Don't make it for nothing......... And tell her I forfeited." Nicole said with a half smile. " She had too much of an advantage at the start. She already had you and I was trying to win you over."
"Thanks for not trashing my stuff." Luke looked up at her.
"You're welcome, as long at you weren't too fond of a couple of your mugs. I tried to make a cup of tea, but I got a little upset." Nicole grinned sheepishly, and glanced at the trash can in the kitchen.
"I'm sorry." Luke put his hand on her shoulder and looked at her sincerely, but Nicole just nodded in return.
"I know. Bye Luke." Nicole picked up the pile of things she had collected and closed the door quietly behind herself.
"Bye Nicole." He said with a bit of a laugh. He rubbed his temples carefully for a minute, then leaned back on the couch and sighed. The divorce would be taken care of, so now there was only one more thing to do. He lifted his hat and ran his hand through his hair. Luke nodded for a minute and then found his way down the stairs and out to the street, where his truck was still sitting.
****************************
Nicole dropped her things in the back seat of her sedan, and pulled out the list of things she had to do which she had made while sitting on Luke's couch. She pulled a pen out of the glove compartment and checked off the first and second items on the list.
"Break up with husband over his love of another woman....check. Replace anger with sadness and sense of helplessness, followed by acceptance....check. Alright...all I've got left is...." She scanned down the rest of her list. "....booking an appointment with my psychologist, arrange my divorce, call my parents, tell my friends.....and pick up some eggs and carrots." Nicole nodded, folded up the list, tucked it into her pocket and started the car, maneuvering around Luke's truck at the traffic light on her way out of town.