Disclaimer: FAKE is the property of Sanami Matoh and BexBoy Magazine; the English translation is the property of TokyoPop. I'm not making any money off this, and I'm a soon-to-be-broke college student. Don't sue.
Author's Note: Alright, this isn't targeting any specific fic, but I've had quite enough of badly done FAKE AU's in general. So, I proudly present to you...
FAKE Boys in Kindergarten!
Ryo sighed in frustration. This sigh of frustration was not brought about by any particular event, but the powers that be mandated that Ryo sigh in just such a manner whenever entering a building. Not that he was entering said building of his own volition, or even on his own two legs - after all, what self-respecting five-year-old *wouldn't* show up for his first day of school being carried piggyback?
Ryo's father, the first-nameless Mr. McLean, placed the blonde boy on the ground and turned to speak with the kindergarten teacher, Mr. Smith. Mr. McLean couldn't help noticing how tense the older man seemed...or how he, oddly enough, could not speak in any manner other than a high-pitched squeak similar to that used in speaking to small children...
Ryo, meanwhile, took the opportunity to look around the room with his oh-so-black, clearly Oriental eyes (which will no doubt prove Ryo's most pivotal facial characteristic and, in all likelihood, the driving force behind the plot) set in an oh-so-European face. The classroom was fairly standard. Small red chairs surrounded equally low red tables, Dr. Seuss books and building blocks were strewn about the floor, and there were crayons of every imaginable shade filling a box labeled "Art Supplies" to the brim. The children were also what one would expect - they were playing, chitchatting about their latest Barbie doll acquisition, or coloring fire engines red with permanent markers (as well as getting somewhat high off the Sharpie fumes).
One boy, however, stood out. Perhaps Ryo noticed him because he was probably the tallest boy in the class, towering at 3-foot-4; or perhaps it was because the boy was currently placing earthworms in the hair of an unfortunate redheaded girl who wad blissfully oblivious and playing with Playdoh. Yet, on a level he would not admit to, Ryo knew he noticed the other boy because of his jet-black hair, striking green eyes, and the rock-hard body that no doubt lay beneath the layers of baby fat.
Young Ryo felt a stirring in his undeveloped groin, and instantly blushed at the strange sensations that were taking hold of him. 'What's this!?' began his internal monologue. 'I'm too young to have a libido! Hell, I'm too young to know what a libido is!' However, nobody heard these thoughts, as they were, interestingly enough, locked within the impenetrable fortress of his skull. Funny how internal monologues often remain "internal."
Ryo's skull may not have been penetrable, but the rest of him certainly was, thought the green-eyed boy dubbed "Dee" by the nun, Sister Maria "Penguin" Lane, who had raised him for the past five years and whose name, having made its mandatory appearance in this story, shall not be mentioned again. The ebony-haired boy's attention was soon diverted by the shriek of the unfortunate young girl who had apparently found the "present" he had left her.
'Oh well,' thought Dee, as he was chased through the classroom by the copper-haired girl (who was now wielding a knife constructed of Playdoh). 'There will be time for blondie later.'
Endnotes: Yes, I know, my first FAKE fic and it's a parody. I'm a horrible person.
In any event, I hope this has entertained. Again, I mean no offense - it's all in good fun, you know!
~Nameless~