Catharsis

epiphany
.:chapter seventeen:.

Prickles of disdain inflamed his nerves and kept his muscles from relaxing. Even stretched out on a futon and surrounded by darkness, Enishi could not find any comfort.

The electric tingles that prevented him from sleeping were identical to the sensations that once kept him awake as a youth. Since coming back into Kamiya's life, Enishi had enjoyed the normalcy of being able to sleep fitfully through the night. Such a simple activity for most people was a luxury to him. However, with Battousai alive and under the same roof as him, the electric tingles returned.

He didn't like the sensation. It didn't matter that the side-effects bequeathed him superior speed and power. He still hated it. Too many bad memories of nights filled with enmity and sorrow were dredged up as his muscles and nerves hardened and relaxed, and hardened again.

Rubbing his nose and sighing, Enishi rolled over onto his side. He was tired of staring at the ceiling, so instead he focused on the wall. It irked him that he had underestimated the effect that seeing Battousai would have on him. Confronting the bastard before taking Kamiya to the island had been entirely different. Back then, Enishi was the one in control. He picked the place and time of the confrontation. He manipulated the situation with the right words and carefully planned actions. In every meeting, Enishi had an outcome he sought to achieve and he was successful. Without fail.

Now it felt as though Battousai was the one in control... and that was simply unacceptable. Especially when one took into consideration Battousai's "reformed" character. The rurouni would never purposefully seek to manipulate him. He simply wasn't like that. To do such a thing would be far too nefarious. But knowing that didn't ease Enishi's annoyance. It only added to it.

A year ago, when Enishi felt confident that he knew what Tomoe wanted, he would have killed Battousai without a second thought. Now that he had read her diary, he knew his sister would never want him to kill her husband. More than that, Enishi couldn't do it because of Kamiya.

...But the temptation, the anger, the deep-seeded desire to take his sword and begin slashing...

All of it. Everything. It was still there. Enishi had dreamed and planned of ways to destroy his brother-in-law for over a decade. It was the sole reason he fought so hard to survive and grow strong. When he saw Battousai for the first time in nearly a year, his first thought was to retrieve his sword and cut him down, but he hesitated. Then he heard Kamiya's voice calling to him from inside the dojo and hot jealousy flooded his veins, overriding everything else.

Suddenly possessiveness was the heart of Enishi's grudge against the Battousai. Where once his resentment hinged on sins of the past, now they swayed to possibilities of the future... and Battousai was at the center of both. The emotion was nearly overwhelming when Kamiya and Battousai greeted each other. The child that still lived within Enishi was certain the bastard was there to take something important from his life, again.

Yet Kamiya moved to stand beside him. Her presence muddied Enishi's thoughts and halted his instincts. Fifteen years worth of hatred, rage, planning and blood-lust were soothed by the soft caress of the back of her hand against his.

There was no doubt in Enishi's mind that if Kamiya hadn't stood by his side, he would have acted on his homicidal urges. It was for her sake that he still fought those same urges. The temptation to rise and kill the source of his torture was nearly too strong to bear.

Battousai was sleeping two doors down from him. Not more than fifteen feet away. But to get to his door, Enishi would have to pass Kamiya's bedroom, and then proceed to murder Himura as he slept in the same room as the boy. To do that would confirm what Enishi always thought himself to be, and blamed Battousai for creating. That wasn't what he wanted. He was already a monster in his own eyes, but Kamiya didn't see him that way. And he didn't want to give her any reason to change her perception of him.

Understanding this, Enishi realized that Kamiya was more important to him than revenge. Killing Battousai in her heart and winning her affection as some sort of last ditch effort at jinchuu was trite in the grand scheme of things. She was more important to him than that.

Even so, the bastard still needed to be dealt with. Lines had to be drawn and stakes claimed. If that meant confronting Kamiya or Battousai with the true depth of his feelings before he was ready, so be it.

• • •

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Yahiko glanced to his left and confirmed what he already knew. The futon beside his was empty. That was no big surprise, the rurouni was always the first one up. Gauging the brightness outside, Kenshin had probably been up for a while. Yahiko scratched his head and yawned big. Maybe the rurouni kicked Enishi out while they slept, just to avoid Buso's inane protests. It was a pleasant idea, but Yahiko knew the likeliness of such a thing happening was as remote as the sun rising in the west.

Limbs stretched and fresh practice clothes worn, Yahiko stepped out of his room. Buso's door was still closed, but Enishi's hung slightly ajar. Curious, Yahiko peeked inside and saw the room empty, the futon neatly made and the room in perfect order... with Enishi's cloak hanging on the far wall.

Yahiko scowled. So much for wishful thinking.

With a sigh, he went in search of food. Halfway there he saw a sight he hadn't seen in months.

"Good morning, Yahiko," Kenshin smiled and greeted him like he used to every morning before Enishi thundered into their lives. It was almost surreal.

"'Morning," he mumbled, still battling his grogginess.

"Sleep well?" Kenshin asked as Yahiko headed toward the kitchen.

Yahiko grabbed an apple. "Fine," he called over his shoulder.

Glancing out the window, he noticed a blur of movement in the doorway of the dojo. Right away he knew it was Enishi, but couldn't tell if Kaoru was with him or not. On the days when Yahiko didn't have to cover the lunch-time shift and get to the restaurant early to prepare, Kaoru would train him in the mornings. Since Enishi arrived, she had adopted the annoying habit of using his morning lesson as an excuse to hang-out with the psycho without looking like a complete devotee.

The thought of her in there mooning over the psycho-freak made Yahiko's stomach churn. Kenshin had been back for nearly eleven hours and had yet to do anything useful. Wasn't he supposed to send the jerk on his merry way yesterday? While Kenshin sat on his ass and drank his tea, Enishi could be plotting to do God-knows-what. And now that Kenshin was back, he had the perfect opportunity to rub Jinchuu into the rurouni's face.

'Why am I the only one who sees this guy for what he is..?'

Temper flared with righteous enlightenment and tongue heavy with demands, Yahiko approached the rurouni. Just in time to see Kaoru step into the room and ruin his opportunity.

"Good morning, Kenshin, Yahiko," she said, her smile not quite reaching her eyes. Dressed in her hakama with her hair pulled back in a high ponytail, it was clear she was ready to give the boy his daily lesson.

"Good morning, Kaoru-dono," Kenshin smiled.

Yahiko took a bite of his apple. Kaoru looked at him expectantly, obviously waiting for him to at least acknowledge her. He didn't. At least not verbally. Glaring, he took another bite and was satisfied to see her shoulders sag.

"Are you feeling well, Kaoru-dono?"

She smiled, and stood a little straighter, obviously trying to hide her moment of unguarded hurt. "I'm... fine, just tired." Before Kenshin could say anything else she asked, "Are you ready for your lesson, Yahiko?"

"No," Yahiko said with disdain. "I'm not done with my apple, Buso."

Kaoru eyed the thin core in his hand and knew he was lying. He made no attempt to hide it. In fact, the more obvious he was about his deceit, the more pissed she would become. Kaoru was predictable like that. That's what made picking a fight with her so easy. He knew all the right buttons to push. And over the last few days, he'd gotten a lot of practice doing just that.

Readying himself for the moment, Yahiko looked forward to the opportunity to vent. She deserved a good earful of him yelling. Just when he was ready to let loose the insults, she did the last thing he expected. Kaoru sighed deeply, haggardly, and let his outright lie drop to the wayside.

"Join me in the dojo when you're ready," she said, then headed for the door.

Yahiko barely waited until Kaoru left to ask Kenshin the question stewing inside. He silently hoped she heard the inquiry just to get one more dig in.

"Why is Enishi still here?"

Kenshin didn't immediately answer him, staring instead at the door she used to exit the room. His brows creased thoughtfully, then the corners of his lips turned down.

"Well?" Yahiko pressed.

The rurouni finally turned his eyes toward the boy. "Has Kaoru-dono been upset like that for a long time?" He asked.

"I don't know. This is the first time I've seen her act all mopey like that since Enishi got here," Yahiko tossed the remains of his breakfast in the trash.

Kenshin frowned.

"She was probably up all night worrying you were going to throw her charity case out on his ass," he continued. "Serves her right."

Yahiko kept his chin high as Kenshin studied his for several seconds. Arms crossed over his chest, he did his best Sano impression and tried to look as apathetic as possible.

"Your anger is misplaced," the rurouni said, finishing the last of his tea.

"What do you mean, 'misplaced?'"

"You're taking your anger out on Kaoru-dono," Kenshin clarified. "She doesn't deserve it."

"Bullshit," Yahiko narrowed his eyes. "She's been acting like a stubborn bitch."

"You don't mean that—"

"I do!" He insisted.

Kenshin sighed and tried a different track. "No, you don't, Yahiko," the rurouni said, voice calm and even. "You're just angry. You've been angry since Kaoru-dono was kidnapped."

Jaw set and shoulders square, Yahiko maintained his willful opposition.

"You're angry at Enishi, Kaoru-dono, myself..." Kenshin continued. "And more than that, you've been angry at yourself." A small, compassionate smile lifted his lips, "You're too young to be so bitter, Yahiko." He paused and studied the boy, "Your feelings toward myself and Enishi are understandable. I failed you and Kaoru-dono, and Enishi has done much to earn your distrust... but Kaoru-dono doesn't deserve your cruelty."

"Cruelty?" Yahiko snorted, "I'm not being cruel! I'm just telling the truth. She's the one who won't listen to me."

"I think she listens to you more than you realize. Kaoru-dono cares about you very much." Kenshin tilted his head and peered at the boy, "The truth is, you're hurting Kaoru-dono because you can't hurt Enishi. Isn't that right?"

While his body language tried to scream indifference, Yahiko had a difficult time maintaining eye contact with the rurouni. Jaw tightly clenched and heart pounding in his chest, he tried desperately not to show any weakness.

'Kenshin's wrong,' Yahiko told himself. 'He doesn't know what's going on. He left! Kaoru's being duped!'

Yahiko sucked in a deep, calming breath. Why was everyone fighting him on this? The whole situation was frustrating. All he wanted was for things to go back to normal and the sooner Enishi left, the sooner that could happen..

"When are you going to kick Enishi out?" Yahiko asked, promptly changing the subject to something he was more comfortable with. "He should be gone by now."

"I don't think the decision to 'kick him out' is ours to make."

The boy gave his former idol a tight-lipped glare.

"Kaoru-dono trusts him," Kenshin continued.

Yahiko rolled his eyes.

The rurouni ignored the boy's obvious annoyance with well practiced composure. "She says she's helping him. From what I've seen, that appears to be true. If anyone can help Enishi, it's Kaoru-dono. She can see the good in people. That is her gift."

Frustration reddened Yahiko's face and curled his hands into tight fists. It was like everyone forgot what happened. The sight of Kaoru's dead, disfigured face staring into nothingness with Enishi's tachi impaling her chest was forever burned into his mind. Even if the corpse did turn out to be a doll, that was the kind of viciousness he was capable of. Enishi was a sadistic murderer. That was the truth.

Kaoru's 'gift' was flawed. Someone who would even think to do what Enishi did, and then go to the trouble of tricking everyone into believing it... there could be no good in such a person.

There just couldn't!

"So that's it?" Yahiko asked sarcastically. "The guy who we thought murdered Kaoru is living under the same roof as her and you're okay with that?!"

"I'm not certain the same man who pretended to murder Kaoru-dono is living under the same roof as her," Kenshin said evenly. "But I plan to find that out."

• • •

Though her smile was sincere, it did nothing to hide her stress. She looked spent and lackluster. He didn't bother to comment about it because he knew instinctively what was wrong. Since going back to his job at the restaurant, the brat had been doubling his efforts to drive Enishi away. Almost as though to make up for the time spent at work. Enishi put up with it because he could empathize with the boy, but he was beginning to lose his patience. He would have to be blind to not see how Yahiko's constant badgering was exhausting Kamiya. Seeing the situation with adult eyes, Enishi couldn't help but wonder if he made Tomoe feel the same way when Akira asked her to marry him.

With Battousai's arrival, Enishi had no doubt that the weight on Kamiya's shoulders was much more pressing. She told him how bitter the boy had become when Battousai refused to leave Rakinumura. And how that bitterness seemed to worsen when Sagara took off and the lady doctor left to return to her hometown. It was obvious the reason she put up with the brat's constant harassment was because she felt guilty.

When the boy finally arrived for his lesson, Enishi left to confront the enemy. It was no surprise to see Battousai waiting for him. Enishi noticed right away that the rurouni did not have his sword by his side. The gesture was a clear indication that he didn't wish to fight. If Enishi had been a big believer in bushido, he would have placed his sword on his left as expected. But he only followed such archaic ideals when it suited him. Strictly following bushido almost guaranteed your death in a place like Shanghai.

Tachi within easy reach of his sword hand, Enishi sat. Neither said a word for several seconds as each regarded the other with an unflinching gaze.

"You returned much sooner than expected, Battousai." Enishi said, the corner of his mouth twisting upwards. "Are you on your way back to Rakinumura?"

Eyes steady, Himura didn't outwardly react from Enishi's barb. "Rakinumura is behind me. I'm here because I wanted to visit my friends."

"And you have done that," Enishi narrowed his eyes, all signs of benevolence erased. "When are you going to wander off and play hero with your sakabatou again?"

"Are you in a hurry for me to go?"

"The more I see you," Enishi said, lips twisting into a wicked grin, "the more I want to kill you."

• • •

Kenshin expected an answer like that. The most intense emotions he sensed coming from Enishi were during the first few minutes of their meeting yesterday afternoon. After Kaoru-dono made her appearance, it seemed as though his brother-in-law's animosity reduced to a slow boil. Now that the two men were alone, that animosity was slowly heating up again.

"What are your intentions toward Kaoru-dono?" Kenshin asked outright, hoping to end their meeting sooner, rather than later.

"Right to the point, aren't you, Battousai?"

"I know you didn't come here looking for me," Kenshin said. "So you must have come looking for her."

"My intentions toward Kamiya are purely romantic in nature," came the matter-of-fact response. "I want her."

Kenshin was taken aback by his forthrightness. His surprise must have shown on his face because Enishi immediately began to smirk.

"Have you informed her of your intentions?"

A lazy smile spread across Enishi's face, "Not in so many words."

The corners of Kenshin's lips dipped downward. The developing frown was barely noticeable, but Enishi saw it and his smugness grew as a result.

"You're asking questions as though I'm courting your daughter, Battousai."

Kenshin ignored his comment. If he let every barb hook him then Enishi would have full control over the conversation. "Are you using her to get to me?"

"I was initially," he replied. "And if her rejection of you causes you more suffering, I won't complain."

"Are you saying you're not using her now?"

Echoes of sparring floated into the house from the dojo. Kaoru's distinct voice was heard as she instructed the boy. Kenshin peered at Enishi, waiting for his answer. His brother-in-law said nothing, choosing instead the path of the enigmatic.

Undeterred, Kenshin continued. "If you came here because you wish to replace Tomoe with Kaoru-dono then you will leave more empty than when you arrived."

Again, Enishi said nothing, but his smirk dissolved into a thin line.

"Kaoru-dono is young and often times naïve because of her youth, but she is not a fool. She will notice if you are dishonest about your feelings."

Enishi clenched his jaw, "You're quite the expert on Kamiya Kaoru, aren't you?"

"We have been through a lot together," Kenshin said quietly. "She's important to me."

Virulence filled the air, causing the hair on the back of Kenshin's neck to stand on end. Light seemed to shift and bend around Enishi's face and shoulders, creating shadows that should not exist. It was as though his flesh bunched and rose to form cords and tendons across the surface of his skin. Kenshin blinked, and the strange effect was gone.

"I'm not going to give her up, Battousai," Enishi sneered, voice cold and hard. "I can't have any peace without her. The only reason I haven't tried to kill you yet is because it would hurt Kamiya and nee-san would disapprove."

Subtle movement caught Kenshin's eye. He glanced at Enishi's right hand and saw his fingers trembling. He recognized the unconscious jittering. As a hitokiri, Kenshin felt that same prompting to reach for his weapon and begin slashing when the enemy drew near.

Enishi's self-control was to be commended. He was changing. Kenshin felt that with every fiber of his being. And the reason he was changing was directly due to Kaoru's influence.

"Your life has no value to me," Enishi continued. "You took nee-san... if you try to take her..." The struggle within stole his voice before he could finish. Teeth clenched and shoulders bunched, he once again fought for control.

"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Kenshin breathed, already certain that he was.

• • •

Sounds of shouting and chaos erupted from the dojo. Both men disregarded the commotion at first. Something important had been confessed and the moment was still too thick with the admission to allow for distraction. But as the volume increased and the tone grew suddenly caustic, they could no longer focus on their conversation.

The boy was the first to leave the dojo. Arms stiff, he marched toward the front gate. Kamiya called to him and Enishi heard the tears in her voice. She chased after him and managed to catch his arm. The boy pulled against her, but Kamiya kept her grip on his wrist. She said something to him, but Enishi couldn't hear. He strained his ears and focused on her lips, but couldn't make out her words.

Wrenching his arm from her grasp, the boy stared up at her with outrage. Kamiya said something else, and Yahiko lunged at her. His hands connected with her hips and he pushed her backwards, causing her to fall hard on her backside.

"Yahiko!" Battousai shouted, immediately rising to his feet.

Enishi didn't bother to say anything at all. With long, purposeful strides, he made his way toward Kamiya. Confusion and shock were etched across the boy's face as he stared at his fallen sensei. Dazed, Yahiko didn't notice Enishi until he stood directly in his line of sight. Flinching out of his stupor, the boy swallowed hard. Watery brown eyes slowly lifted to gaze at the man he blamed for all of his life's ills. A flurry of emotion raced across his face. Tears trailing down his cheeks, Yahiko turned on his heel and ran.

"Yahiko," Kamiya yelled, voice breaking. "Wait!"

He didn't. Before she could call out to him again, the boy had already disappeared beyond the wall that surrounded the Kamiya homestead. Satisfied that the boy was gone, Enishi turned his attention to her. Soft, muffled sounds of anguish shook her shoulders as she wept into her hands.

Enishi kneeled before her. Each choked sob twisted his insides into knots as distressed eyes searched her form. He needed to comfort her... wanted to comfort her... but didn't know how.

"Are you injured, Kaoru-dono?" Battousai asked. So intent on Kamiya, Enishi didn't even notice his approach.

"O-of... of course not," she hiccupped.

"What happened?"

The tears came harder and Enishi cursed Battousai's presence.

"He... he hates me!"

The rurouni frowned and shook his head. "He doesn't—"

"He does!" Kamiya glared at him as tears ran freely down her cheeks. Her resolve crumbled, and once again she buried her face in her hands.

Battousai gave his brother-in-law a meaningful look as Kamiya cried convulsively. The unspoken communication left Enishi with the distinct impression that Battousai wanted him to comfort her. The strangeness of the moment was pushed aside by the sounds of lament. Unwilling to think of anything else but the young woman still on the ground, Enishi gave her his full attention.

"I'll go talk to him, Kaoru-dono," Himura said, voice tender. "But please believe me... whatever Yahiko said, he didn't mean it."

Kamiya shook her head stubbornly, but couldn't find her voice to speak.

A sigh. "I'll talk to Yahiko," he repeated. "Everything will be fine, Kaoru-dono."

As Battousai made his way toward the gate, Enishi reached out and gently brushed Kamiya's temple. The contact prompted her to slowly pull her hands from her face. She sniffled, and peered at him with bright, bloodshot eyes.

Not knowing what else to say, Enishi whispered her name. Kamiya's lower lip trembled as fresh tears dripped from her chin. He touched her again, brushing calloused fingers across her cheeks in an attempt to wipe away her sorrow. The gesture pulled her to him and she fell against his chest. Body shaking as she cried, Enishi wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.