Hiding Under the Ninth Earth
Book 02 : A Bit Of All Right
by I Got Tired of Waiting

Part II : Harry and Severus
Chapter Twelve : Thoughts are Poor Company

15 August 1996

Harry came awake the next day with the sun shining full on him. The warmth and fresh air was welcome even as the light was not. His head hurt abominably, the scar itchy. He hastily closed his eyes against the stabbing brightness coming from an open window to his right. For a confused moment he didn't know where he was, but the briefly glimpsed stark white walls around the window and the heavy drawn curtain on the other made him aware he was in the infirmary. Again.

He was halfway out of the bed when he heard Dumbledore chuckling in the next cubicle, his robes rustling. He didn't mean to listen in, it just happened. After all, they were doing nothing to hold their voices down--right?

"You should have seen him, Severus. It was amazing. He was able to open all your cabinets and drawers--"

"He did what?" Snape's words were almost a screech.

'Oh yeah, this is where he hexes me into tomorrow,' Harry thought, laying back down.

"Yes, Severus, all the warded drawers, doors, cabinets, presses, trunks, and yes, even your precious bottom drawer, although I did draw the line at your private potions book itself. I broke into that; a little eccentric, I might add, but doable." There was more rustling of cloth and the clink of a cup on a saucer as Dumbledore chuckled lowly. "You're going to have to either get more creative with your wards or just learn to trust Mr. Potter as much as you do me."

Snape sneered, "Albus, I trust you about as much as I do Horatio when he's molting. I might even trust him more. I cannot believe you let him violate my privacy like--like--oh you!"

'Horatio?' The sound of the bedclothes and the squeak of the springs told Harry Snape had fallen back into the bed.

"Severus, calm down! What choice did I have? While I admit there was some amusement value involved, I had to let him--get a feel for your magic. What better way than through learning your Schema?"

"Albus, what are you not telling me?" The low hoarse voice carried some venom.

Harry was as suspicious as Snape. 'Good question. I'd like to know myself.'

"When Moody brought you and Remus in here yesterday--" His voice trailed off, and he was silent for few heartbeats. He gently continued, "Well, let's just say I'm grateful to be assaulted by your usual sarcasm. I honestly didn't think I would ever hear it again. Among the other injuries we discussed earlier, Lucius crushed your windpipe. You were a mess."

With a dismissive voice Snape said, "I'm always a mess when Lucius gets done with me. It's easily fixed. I vaguely remember him trying to throttle me."

Dumbledore's voice was very serious. "Not like this, my friend. Lucius imbued your wounds with Dark Magic; it was eating you up from the inside. Poppy was helpless; nothing would heal. We were desperate."

"Al-bus, what did you do?" Suspicion once again laced his hoarse voice.

"You were dying, Severus. You're here because Harry made your Infensus Curatio Potion with a small twist; he filled it with his defence magic. I made notes as to the process in your book, should you ever need it again."

Harry sat up, startled. 'I did?' It was a bad move--his head's pounding worsened and he bit back a cry. Slowly, he eased himself back down into the bed, the headache lessening but not going away. It was unusually quiet on the other side of the curtain.

He was therefore unprepared for Snape's outburst. "Damn it, Albus! Do you know how dangerous that potion is to make? If one ingredient is misplaced--"

'Tell me about it. "Stand back" might have been my first clue.' Harry remembered the plume of fumes.

"Calm down, Severus! Obviously the young man did a good job or you wouldn't be here to bitch about it," he exclaimed with quiet asperity. "And lower your voice. He's still sleeping."

'Not anymore,' Harry chuckled silently.

Snape hissed, "He's here? Why? What happened? What foolhardy, imbecilic thing did he do this time?"

"One of these days, and it may even be today, I'll gladly help you shove your hasty words down your throat as you chew and swallow," Dumbledore said dangerously.

'I'll help.' Harry thought with his head filled with the gratifying vision of choking Snape's mouth full of oversized letters.

Severus sighed, his voice older than his years. "What do I owe him, now?" he asked resigned as if he knew that tone and knew he'd stepped in it.

"Severus, it was beyond words. I watched the whole thing from my office."

'How did you do that?' Harry wondered.

"He was changing the bandages on your right wrist; they were torn up, by the way, the left broken in so many pieces--" his voice trailed off.

"Albus, a little less thinking and a lot more talking. Please. My many talents do not extend to Divination."

Dumbledore chuckled, "Much better, Severus. Now where was I? Oh yes, Harry. When he was done with the salve, his intuition took over and he used a Sanos spell on it. The power he poured into it was immense, but he wasn't even aware of it, didn't even know the spell. It came from inside him. His instincts were perfect. I've only seen it once before--when you saved Lucius all those years ago. Pure, spontaneous magic. It was a joy to watch." He sighed. "You should have seen the look of unconscious concentration on Harry's face when he went back in the second and third times. He was afraid, mind you, but he did it anyway."

He chuckled wickedly, "Which reminds me, we'll need, no, you'll need to teach him how to control it. He overdid it last night and passed out after doing the other wrist and your throat. Poppy gave him the restorative, but it put him to sleep."

Harry sat up again in panic, his heart pounding in time with his head. 'I have to work with Snape? Again? I don't know if I can face him.'

Severus audibly gulped. "Dear gods. A Sanos? So powerful, so dangerous--" He suddenly chuckled, "Well, I suppose I should be glad this summer didn't sour him to me completely, or we wouldn't be having this conversation."

'That's what you think!' Harry silently chuckled.

Dumbledore laughed. "He has the makings of a fine Potions Master. Even made me read the whole thing through out loud before he'd start. Well-organised, he laid everything out in the order needed (without prompting from me, I might add, he'd only heard it once) and his timing was impeccable. It's a good batch he made."

"If it wasn't a fluke. Ow! Watch it, my arm's still sore. All right, all right, I get the point. So Potter can do instinctive magic. Why am I not surprised? And the 'twist' to the potion was the same?"

"So I gather. It certainly rid you of the residual Dark Magic even though that's not what you originally intended for it."

Harry could just picture Snape raising his brow in that supercilious manner he had at his next words spoken with haughty disdain. "Not exactly. The potion was derived from an obscure formula I found many years ago and painstakingly adapted to use for the reversal of minor Dark Art spells, although, I admit, not to the extent you describe." He paused and went on thoughtfully, "Lucius always uses an Inficio Schema Riddle taught him, which is very hard to overcome. Potter's affinity to the Dark Lord's magic must have been in use as well."

This was a morning of revelations for Harry. 'I have an affinity for Voldemort's magic? Just because he's lived inside me doesn't mean I have access to that kind of thing, does it?'

His thoughts were interrupted when Snape sighed, "Don't worry, Albus. Much as I hate owing the young whelp anything, I will thank him properly." He paused and abruptly asked, "Did you clean up my lab?"

"I did, but there was no time to waste relocking everything, so I warded the door to the lab itself properly. No one will be able to touch anything until your return."

"And my book?" He sounded almost frantic.

"Safe in my office," Dumbledore calmly said.

The panic ebbed from his voice. "Thank Merlin. If the Dark Lord ever found that book--brass Knuts would have more value than my life."

"No, Severus. Thank me. And thank Harry," he chuckled at Severus' groan of frustration. "One other thing, Severus."

"What? I can't wait. What other sublime tortures have you planned for me?"

'Tortures? What about me? I'm the one he's going to be teaching.' Harry was definitely starting to feel sorry for himself.

Dumbledore's voice was firm. "I want you to keep up the Occlumency lessons with him as well."

"Absolutely not! Do you know what the cretin did to me? What he saw? What I see?" Snape was outraged.

'Well not all of it, but enough.' Harry cringed from the stolen glimpsed memory of the little boy cowering in the corner.

Dumbledore continued, his voice gentle. "Yes, Severus, I know. He saw one of your worst memories, one you tried to keep from him for more reasons than just your own humiliation. Mr. Potter's violation of your memories is as much my fault as his; I let him see some of mine in my Pensieve when he was younger. He's probably not aware of just how inviolate the Pensieve is and how the law punishes unauthorised viewing. You were most generous in not pressing charges against him about the whole thing. And you see his memories. Unsettling, aren't they? Don't quite match the gilded life you originally thought, do they?"

'Charges? Violation?' Harry was almost as panicked as Snape.

The Headmaster cleared his throat and continued on implacably but without censure. "However, we both know, don't we, Severus, that had you continued the lessons, had you watched him better as you were assigned to do, he might not have been at the Ministry in the first place. Voldemort might not have been able to lure him there." He sighed. "It was the 'might-nots' and Harry's resistive anger that kept me from censuring you both in the first place."

"I can't, Albus. Please, don't order me to. Every time you bring me closer to him, it's harder and harder to keep us away from HIM," He pleaded and the bedclothes rustled. "This is what happens when he suspects, and he does suspect, Albus. This was just a little test of my loyalty. Lucius whispers poison every time I'm away. And Fudge eats a little more at Lucius' table every day."

'Snape? Begging?' Harry didn't know he had it in him to beg and almost felt sorry for him.

Snape laughed, a grim, dead sound, "You make it sound so noble that I didn't press charges against Potter. I assure you I would have had I thought he was doing more than satisfying that rule-breaking curiosity of his. But to whom would I have complained? The Order? The Aurors? Fudge himself? Oh, that would have been rich, worth at least a few laughs." His voice changed to a high pitched sing-song whine, "'Little Snape was violated while teaching little Potter how to throw off our Master.'" He paused, resuming his normal low tones, "It's bad enough I have to be grateful to him for my miserable life, the very act of healing me an act of violation in itself. Gods, the Sanos. Don't make it worse."

'Violated?' He began to shake, what had he done?

Dumbledore said gently, "I'm sorry Severus. I--we--have no choice if we are to win this thing. You know I'm right. You don't have to like it, you can even hate it if it makes you feel better." There was rustle of clothing like a hand reaching out. "But we both know--It Must Be Done."

Snape moaned in frustration. Dumbledore sighed deeply. Snape echoed him. "Very well, Albus. I will teach him," he said in a dull voice. "All of it--the Occlumency, the Sanos, and the Schema control you so much want him to have. Damn me, anyway."

"Severus, I--we decided, you are not going back to Voldemort. This," he paused with another swish of heavy robes, "has convinced us it is no longer safe for you to go back. Not that anything you did was safe, but as long as Harry's mark is on you from the Sanos, we all know your life is forfeit. I'm so very sorry your salvation was also your downfall--"

"You know, Albus, you're just making it worse. He wants to be yelled at, so yell at him already. This namby-pamby stuff is right nauseating," Moody said from the door.

Snape's unforced laugh sounded like he was smiling. Harry knew from his time at Grimmauld Place that while Moody may be ugly and smell to boot, and sometimes made disparaging comments about the Potions Master, he was the closest thing to a friend Snape had. They'd certainly pulled each other's bacon out of the fire many times before, if Moody's stories were to be believed. Snape had always remained silent on the subject, but his frequent glares at Moody had held a touch of indulgence as well.

"So tell me, ya auld sod, how big's your gratitude bank. I pulled your sorry bum out of there, Remus tried to do the same, and Potter saved your life, twice. Sounds to me like you're going to be overdrawn pretty soon." He laughed roughly.

"Hardly," Snape shot back. "Seems to me I was 3 for 1 with Potter, 2 for 1 for the werewolf, and as for you," he laughed evilly, "I lost track a long time ago, but I'm fairly certain this makes us even."

"Not a chance! What about--"

Harry listened to them with only one ear. His mind was still whirling with the whole conversation and its import. It was a bit jarring to finally realise the personal stakes involved and felt some of his residual anger at the whole situation dissipating.

************

Harry was looking out the window when a rush of warm moist air blew across his ear with the whispered words "Listening where you shouldn't? Shame on you."

Harry started when Remus' hand settled gently on his shoulder, his head bent close; he'd not seen him come in. "Oh! I'm sorry, I woke up and--"

Still close, Remus chuckled. "Don't get your knickers twisted. Had Dumbledore not wanted you to hear, you would not have. He always has his own reasons for doing things, but I admit, I had thought better of you." His admonishing words belied the humour in his eyes.

"You were listening, too," Harry replied just as quietly but heatedly.

Remus reddened a bit, "Ah, yes. I was, but I already knew what they were talking about." Almost as an afterthought, he straightened and held out another vial of the amber liquid. "Madame Pomfrey told me to have you drink this."

Harry downed the sweet liquid easily and asked, "What were they talking about? What happened last night? What's a Sanos Spell? What did I do? Why is it dangerous?" It all came out in a whispered rush. He looked at the vial; he felt measurably better, the headache completely gone.

"A Sanos spell?" Remus mused out loud, "Well, that certainly explains some things." He looked hard at Harry. "Come, let's go to the other side of the infirmary where we won't be disturbed. Madame Pomfrey has not cleared you yet and there is no way I am going to cross her. She's scary when she's mad."

Harry chuckled, the picture of Remus cowering before Madame Pomfrey making him feel a little better, as was no doubt Remus' intention in the first place.

They crossed the infirmary slowly after first passing the closed cubicle next to him. Judging from the voices, Moody and Dumbledore were still visiting with the Potions Master. By the time they reached the front of the infirmary, Harry realised he was weaker than he thought and settled into some squashy chairs set aside for visitors near the entrance doors where they could see the entire infirmary around them. Harry noted absently it was a defendable place--one with few surprises.

"Now to your questions," Remus began without preamble in a normal voice. He paused, obviously searching for the right words. Harry suspected the concept was complex at best, incomprehensible if not explained properly. It turned out he was right when Remus said, "The Sanos is not a single spell, it's a class of spells. Based on what you said last night, you know what a Schema is, right?"

At Harry's nod, he continued. "You need to know someone's personal Schema, their way of casting spells, as well as the Schema of the original spell, in order to perform any Sanos spell. A Sanos Spell works by the caster imbuing a piece of themselves into the spell being cast to override or reverse something in another spell the person is suffering from. The Sanos spells are Healer Spells. The incantation is always Sanos, but the intent of the caster dictates what is done. Are you with me so far?" he asked.

Harry nodded, "I think so. The caster of the Sanos spell needs to know two Schema, the normal one of the person they are trying to heal, the other of the spell the healer is trying to reverse."

"Spot on, Harry. The casting of a Sanos also requires someone with the ability to do so. Not many are blessed with such a talent, or cursed, depending on one's perspective. Evidently you are. Last night you were apparently able to easily find Professor Snape's Schema when you opened all of his locks, which by the by, is quite a feat. Locks are very personal, especially to someone as suspicious as Snape. You also had to identify the Schema of the Dark Spells in Professor Snape's wounds in order to heal them."

He hesitated, "Pay attention here, Harry. Dumbledore is especially eager for you to learn this next bit." At Harry's look of concentration, he continued, "Most of all, you had to know the Sanos even exist in the first place. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you had never even heard of it before last night."

"No, I don't even rightly remember what it was I did in the first place. I vaguely remember holding Professor Snape's wrist and my scar getting warm. You asked me if I could do it again. But beyond that--"

"Dumbledore says it was instinctive. Personally, I think the knowledge was something left in you when you survived Voldemort as a baby or maybe something left over from Lily only just now remembered. With all the Occlumency you were doing with Professor Snape, you probably have an affinity with him and his injuries triggered--something."

He suddenly got very quiet. "It's dangerous because of the emotions of the caster. If they're not pure or if they are filled with anger or hate, the intent cannot be to help but to harm and the Sanos will kill, not heal. I want you to think about this. Had you truly disliked Professor Snape he would not be here today, alive. The Sanos has the power to take life as well as give it."

"The Headmaster asked Professor Snape to teach me how to control it," Harry said, stunned by Remus' revelations.

"Well, Severus is a man of many talents; I wasn't aware he knew and practised the Sanos, but it doesn't surprise me. For all the odious behaviour he hides behind, he's a good man, one I am grateful to have at my side in any fight. He's very powerful, his knowledge immense. You could do much worse for a teacher."

He laughed, "Although, one must wade through a lot of shite to get to Severus. His only real flaw is he's the only one who doesn't acknowledge his or anyone else's good side. Those of us who deal with him regularly in the Order just take his outbursts of sarcasm as the defense mechanism it is and forget it, or better yet, give it back to him. I assure you, he can take it as well as dish it out. No, most people only see the 'Snape' Severus allows them to see--a fairly handy device if one's a spy. That and a Pensieve, of course."

"Why is looking in a Pensieve a bad thing?" Harry asked since Remus gave him the opening.

Remus drew breath and was interrupted by a loud voice, "Hey, Professor? What'ya doin' all the way over here?" Moody came and joined them, the wink he gave Remus from his normal eye an indication Dumbledore had sent him over.

"Trying to answer some of Harry's questions," Remus answered him.

"Why do you call him Professor, Mr. Moody?" Harry asked deferentially. Moody still made him nervous.

He guffawed, "Did you hear that, Wolf? MR. Moody, he called me." He turned to Harry. "The Professor here's the smartest of our lot. Oh, I know everyone thinks Snape is and maybe he has the most book smarts, but he's usually always off doing stupid things, like going places and hearing things he probably shouldn't, which makes him dumb as dirt in my book. Now then, the Professor here, he stays quiet, he listens, he don't talk much and when he does, it has meaning, if yeh take my drift. In my book, that makes him the smartest person here." He paused, "So what're yer questions?"

Somehow, Harry knew he didn't want his last question answered by Moody, but he didn't have much of a choice when Remus spoke up saying, "He wanted to know why looking in someone else's Pensieve is a 'bad thing'."

Moody's magical eye fixed on him in that uncomfortable way he had. Harry just knew he was reading his soul, which felt pretty black at the moment. He asked quietly, "Whose Pensieve you look at, Harry?"

"Professor Snape's, while we were doing the Occlumency classes." He hung his head, ashamed.

"Now, that wasn't cricket of you, Mr. Potter," he said. "What did Snape say?"

"He threw me out of his classroom and refused to teach me anymore."

"So that's what happened--never would say. He was right twisted over it, though. Thought he was coming unglued there for a while, not that he's ever very together. Can't say that I blame him much, eh, Harry?" Mad Eye stared at him, reading his reactions.

Harry wanted to take the 'out' Dumbledore had given him, but he couldn't. There had always been a part of him that knew it was wrong when he'd done it at the time, for all his justification of 'curiosity'. "No, I knew it was wrong when I looked. It was there, I was alone, I took the chance I wouldn't get caught. Pretty stupid of me, all in all. I didn't mean to hurt him, though. He was wrong about that. I was just curious. And I didn't feel the way he said I did with what I saw."

"What did you see, Harry?" Remus asked him quietly.

Harry hesitated. Should he tell? No, it was too personal, too private, and it had hurt the professor too much, so much he'd set it aside rather than risk Harry seeing it. But Remus had been there. He remembered the anger and the horror he'd felt as he witnessed Snape's worst memory and he had to know. "Why didn't you help him? You were a Prefect, you could have stopped it. Why did you just sit there and let my father do it? Why?" Moody looked mystified, but Remus paled.

Remus stopped him with his hand in the air. "No more, Harry. I know of when you speak. And I have no answer for you. I was wrong. You're right; I should have stopped James. He was such a jerk back then. Many is the time I have kicked myself for not doing something, even for Snape, even if only because he was a person. I just never saw it that way at the time and that is the best excuse I have."

He shook his head at Moody's unspoken question. "No, Moody. Not even to you. If Severus wishes it kept secure, then it shall remain so. I owe him at least that much. Whatever it was, I can assure you, he did not deserve it." He looked sad.

Moody didn't need to be told twice. Harry suspected that Moody, more than anyone, knew Severus' motives and his respect for him really knew few bounds, which was why he covered it up with his belittling statements; however, Moody knew Snape was aware of his respect and that made it all right in the end. Harry sighed, wishing he could be that easy with someone. He'd had to be careful around Hermione and Ron too much this last year and had keenly felt their distance. And he knew this next year would not only be no better, it would probably be worse.

Mad Eye was thoughtful as he said, "Sounds to me like the youngest member of this little group needs to make an apology to a certain professor. Looking into someone else's Pensieve without permission is punishable by time in Azkaban, the charge the same as rape. Since that person is still here and not dodging Dementors tells me Snape was pretty magnanimous in not pressing charges against him. Seems to me, at the very least, he deserves a 'Thank You' as well."

"I would agree with that assessment," Remus said standing up and stretching. "Perhaps we should leave him to it?"

"Yeh know what yeh have to do, eh, Harry?" Moody said, his eye roaming again. They left together in more ways than one.

Once again he was left alone with only his thoughts for poor company.