Hiding Under the Ninth Earth
Book 02 : A Bit Of All Right
by I Got Tired of Waiting
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*Edited for FF.net--just a little--676 sexy words were sacrificed on the altar of the rating gods.
Mea Culpa if this is racier than an "R", but this is not a "fluff" chapter; there are some things happening essential to the rest of the book. I also apologise if it "feels" choppy, but coitus writus interruptus is never a pretty thing. Remember, the full version is available at my site.
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Part II : Harry and Severus
Chapter Twenty Two : A Decision is Made
10 October 1999
Harry could never remember when a kiss was just a kiss and right now his whole body was screaming at him for release. Severus' kisses were a drug to which he was addicted, his agile tongue and burning mouth left trails of desire, searing their way through every nerve cell. And not just his mouth. His hands. Those long, nimble hands, the talented fingers of which stroked and caressed their way around him, mapping every square inch with pleasure.
He didn't know what key he'd given to Severus tonight to unlock the passion he'd been holding back the last few weeks; he just knew he was ready. Now. No Fear. No Barriers. No tremours. Just. Ready.
Severus, on the other hand, was lost. His body had a mind of its own and it was using every skill it had ever known to pleasure Harry. The feel of his skin, the taste of it, the sounds, the gasps, the surprise all left him breathless, wanting more. Harry's response--his eager, uninhibited response drove him to lengths he'd never felt necessary before now.
Now. He wanted him now.
Without a word, he passed Harry the jar. They both knew what it was for and Severus felt his heart stop when Harry took it from him, their hands meeting, the current a sharp arc between them like two live wires making contact without any shielding. They sizzled, their skin jumping, every nerve exposed.
Severus had never felt this needy before. Never had the blind necessity to be this close with someone and yet in the back of his mind he was scared. But the fear was part of it; the sharp thrill of letting go, of feeling without thought was as much of an aphrodisiac as watching Harry's green eyes turn black with his desire. For him. And that desire scared him most of all.
Harry was inexperienced with this; he had only done it a couple of times before, but Severus was adamant; it was too soon for him to do it the way he was used to (if he was going to do it at all) even if he was healed. Harry had never really enjoyed being taken by Draco, finding the experience initially uncomfortable, not only physically but in his mind as well; the submission Draco demanded had been hard to give. However, if this was what Severus wanted--
He wanted? Oh yes, Harry wanted, maybe not this but the closeness? Oh Yes. He wanted to be close. Severus groaned into Harry's mouth, his teeth worrying his bottom lip as Harry teased him.
Severus was so hot, so ready.
Harry dropped his hand lower--the sharp intake of breath, sucking the air out of him through their joined mouths, was his prize for the pleasure given. He wanted more and sliding his hand lower found almost immediately the sweet spot. Severus gasped, his mouth torn away, his inability to continue the kiss its own delectable reward.
Not too long afterward, Harry met some resistance. Severus was not relaxed now, the previous gasps of pleasure more that of controlled discomfort than desire. He could feel inflexible cords--old but obviously still bothering him. 'Who did this to you? Who hurt you so badly' he thought, having no hard facts but much conjecture. Looking at Severus' closed eyes trying not to wince, he saw the look of concentration where once had been abandon--Harry wondered, 'What do you really want, Severus? Do you really want this?'
Severus had known what Harry would find. His only hope was he could control it, that Harry would be inexperienced enough to not notice the tightness and scarring brought about by other, less pleasant encounters. It had been so long since someone had taken him; the trust involved was more than he could normally give. But not tonight. His trust was absolute; he knew Harry would not hurt him if he could help it--any more than he would cause Harry harm. And it did hurt--his body's fault, not Harry's--he was being incredibly gentle.
He tried to relax, half-knowing it would not be enough. He felt the heat of Harry's considering eyes on him--opening his own, he tried not to look away but was unsuccessful. Harry was demanding honesty from him, a truth he felt uncomfortable giving to him. 'No, I really don't want it this way, but I don't want to lose you either--' Severus felt the discomfort dissolve as Harry withdrew and heard the murmured cleaning spells with a relief he could not articulate since he barely understood it himself.
Harry sat up and moving over him, straddled his hips. He bent forward, arms supporting his weight, his eyes a few inches away, questioning, boring into Severus' black eyes, defying him to lie about his readiness. He received the impression of complete trust before those eyes ultimately closed on their other truth. Harry knew in that instant: Severus' surrender to him in this way was more a result of his desire to please Harry and less of his desire to be taken this way.
Which was fine with Harry.
Severus closed his eyes, his heart pounding with cold dread, his body tense. He flogged himself with self-condemnation. 'You're such a damn fool! Can't top--he's half-healed and his memories are too fresh. He was ready, eager to take you, and you let him stop. You're going to lose him because you can't overcome your fear of past pain and domination. He'll leave you now--what man would stay with such a coward?' He startled, therefore, when Harry shifted further forward, the unexpected soft brush of his lips turning into something more needy. The darting tongue telling him, in no uncertain terms, that he was still desired and still wanted even if not in this other way. Incredulous and maybe a little grateful, Severus relaxed a bit, opening his eyes. The concerned, tender look on Harry's face made him feel warmer inside. Maybe, just maybe, it would be all right.
"Are you all right? I didn't hurt you, did I?" Harry asked Severus quietly, his eyes quickly searching his face. He waved his hand and the candles brightened a bit so he could really see him.
Severus considered the question, "I'm fine, I think. More than fine, if you're all right with it."
"Sev, I think we need to talk." Harry was startled by the wariness he instantly saw in Severus' eyes and hastily reassured him, "No, Sev, nothing bad. I just think we need to air some things. Speak plainly. I want to make sure I understand where we are before we go any further." Hearing himself and his seriousness, he waggled his brows, "Right sexy, huh?"
Severus couldn't help it, he laughed. "Definitely. I can always get a leg over your scintillating conversation," he said, feeling somewhat better.
Harry smiled despite the gravity he was feeling. "Tell me if I'm wrong, but you just greeted the idea of me topping you with the same excitement you might exhibit getting hit by a flying cauldron."
Seeming to catch Harry's mood more than his words, he smiled nervously. "Actually, a cauldron to the gut might, initially, be more pleasant," he replied. "And you?"
"Well, I'm pretty much healed, now." Harry lowered his eyes, looking sideways, "I mean, we could if you want to--"
"No!" Severus exclaimed. He raised his hand to Harry's cheek as if to take the sting out of his cry, running the fingers down to his throat; Harry knew Severus could feel the strong rapid pulse beneath his warm skin. Severus' earnestness was shining in his eyes. "No, Harry. I don't want."
"Why not?" Harry asked, perplexed by his vehement reaction and a little hurt by the implied rejection.
"Your--I can't--" Severus drew a deep breath, thinking, 'Damned honesty, you're going to make me tell you, aren't you?' Knowing he had to give a full explanation or none at all, he replied as gently as he could, "Harry, you've been having nightmares almost every night since the first night we've been together. You fight me off like a man possessed. You dream of Draco and what he did to you." He hesitated, his voice troubled, "You talk, you yell. You paint a very clear picture of what it was like, what you hated."
Severus regretted the bluntness of his last words the moment they left his mouth. Harry paled and shuddered, his eyes glazing in stark memory. Severus closed his eyes, haunted by the expression on Harry's face, and he heard himself asking him, "Did you ever enjoy it, Harry? Either way?"
"It had its moments, I'd be lying if I said otherwise, but by and large no, I didn't enjoy being a bottom." He was amazed it had come out so easy. 'There, I've said it and the world is still revolving. Fancy that.'
'I think the only thing I dislike more than doing it is talking about it,' they both thought.
"I can think of better ways to pleasure you," he trailed his hands up Severus' sides, pleased by his involuntary shiver and the stippling of his skin. "While I don't want to bottom, I don't particularly want to top either." With another shudder he remembered the way Severus' face had grimaced as he'd prepared him. Understanding lit Severus' eyes as Harry continued, "I was willing to do so to please you--it was more a question of your preferences."
"No, it's not my preference. I don't enjoy taking it up the arse, Harry, and haven't done so in years, or at least not by choice. Like you, I have bad memories."
"Seems we both do. Sex isn't supposed to be about pain or doing things you hate, even if it pleases your partner. I learned that, if nothing else, from Draco. You were not enjoying yourself; I want to be your lover, not your tormentor."
"I'd like that very much, to be your lover," Severus whispered, reaching up to capture his lips in a brief kiss. "Anything else squidgey I should know about?" he asked lightly, the heated glint back in his eyes.
"Bondage," Harry replied immediately. "I hate bondage in any form, especially the hardware." Harry trailed his hands down Severus' torso. "They only thing I want hard is--" Harry gave Severus a wicked glance to match the small curl of his lips.
Severus gasped a little; the sensation was so strong. "I guess this means I have to retire the iron maiden?" Harry hit him in the arm, hard. "Ow! What's the point of living in a dungeon if you can't--"
"Don't go there, Sev." Harry admonished with a mock-growl.
Severus smirked, "All right, all right, I get the picture. Iron maiden, out. I'll notify the house-elves on the morrow to clear out the back torture chambers." Harry chuckled briefly, appreciating Severus' attempts at levity and wondered why it had taken him until this moment to finally realise that Severus employed his dark humour as a shield whenever he was uncomfortable with his situation.
Suddenly serious again, Harry ventured, "Just so we can drop this, please. We're agreed? Unless we both want it--"
"--we don't do it. And we ask, not assume." Severus replied equally resolved. He threaded his hand through Harry's unruly hair and met him in the middle. Their kiss sealed their new covenant.
They shifted to lay side by side, their bodies pressed close together as Harry deepened the kiss. Hands roaming and stroking elicited low groans from both of them, the other unpleasantness laid behind them, as they concentrated instead on the pleasure spiralling through heated bodies. They freely explored each other, the earlier restraint gone, their mutual understanding stripping the hesitancy out of their passion. They were soon lost in the feel of each other.
Harry wanted Severus so much, wanted to feel them close together, to feel his heat. He sat up and, rolling Severus gently on his back, lightly straddled his thighs. He reached over and picked up the abandoned jar of lubricant. Taking another handful of the thick gel, he distributed it over his hands evenly. He chuckled at Severus' gasp as he touched him.
Severus' eyes popped open--the heat from Harry's hands made him bow up into them. It lit a fire deep in his belly that soon centered on the flesh in Harry's hands. He gave a moan of frustration when those hands left off their ministration and slid up his torso leaving a trail of sensation as he slicked them flat up Severus' abdomen right up to the bottom of his rib cage. He ran his fingers lightly back down, Severus squirming under him with the prickles Harry inadvertently gave him; Harry was the first lover to ever find out he was ticklish. 'My lover. Harry is my lover,' he thought, with immense satisfaction, as Harry sat back.
Harry filed away the discovery for the future with a smile. He fumbled for the jar and removing the lid with some difficulty, given the oiliness of his hands, invited Severus to take some. Harry continued to stroke him lightly, while Severus sat up and took the jar from his hand and pushing him back into the bed, showed him the joys of reciprocity.
"Like that do you?" Severus murmured, his concentration complete.
"Oh gods," Harry cried as the sensations rippled through him, stealing his air. "So good," he murmured, closing his eyes. He felt Severus' arms cover his upper legs, effectively pinning him to the bed. He was about to protest when he heard an evil chuckle and his body exploded into sharp shards. Severus smiled at the helpless mewling noises Harry was making.
Severus grinned at the cry of disappointment Harry made when he moved up Harry's body with a wanton mouth, letting his body's skin lightly stroke him the entire way up. Before taking his mouth he murmured, "I so admire a man with a 'Cavalier' attitude about sex."
Harry growled and rolled them over never breaking the kiss. He pulled away, gasping, "Merlin--your mouth--gods," and evaded Severus' attempts to pull him down for another one by sitting back on his knees. Hearing a sigh and not looking up, he half expected the arm around his shoulder, the lips suckling his neck, the soft hair sliding down his arm as his hands were joined by Severus' oily ones--he was soon as slick as Severus, his breath coming out in huffs.
He was so close. Not wanting to come too soon, Harry pulled Severus' tormenting hands away, kissing them before placing them on his waist. Startled, he explored his lips with his tongue, tasting a lingering sweetness like raw honey. Curious, he leaned over and licked Severus' lips with the tip of his tongue like an ice cream cone and realised he was tasting the lube. Severus raised a brow at this and Harry murmured, "Interesting flavour. Honey?"
Severus threaded his hands in his hair and pulled him over for another kiss, his tongue sliding in, teasing Harry's. Harry groaned and Severus withdrew, whispering, "Clover, white clover nectar in the oil."
Harry kissed him again, lapping his tongue. "Attracts bees," Harry said, gently pushing him back into the bed on his back, "and Potions Masters." He could feel Severus' light chuckle rumble through him as he settled between his lover's legs and slid one of his hands under Severus' waist to the small of his back to grasp him tightly to him, the movement lifting Severus slightly off the bed, the other holding his upper body a few scant inches off of him. The air between them heated. He gasped at the intensity.
Severus was stunned by the comfortable closeness and the heat of the two of them. He reached around and pulled Harry down to him, relishing his weight, his arms tightening around Harry's slender waist and his broader shoulders. Lifting his face, begging for more kisses, Harry curled his arm over Severus' head--the fingers playing in his hair. Severus responded to Harry's unspoken request and, meeting him halfway, brought Harry's mouth down in a searing kiss, tongues dancing, mating, sliding languidly in time to the movements of their bodies below.
Harry moved slowly, setting the pace. Severus groaned, moving up, and then gasped, each heated touch earning him another intake of breath from his lover.
'My lover. Severus is my lover, mine to protect, mine to pleasure.' He was the taker of a complete trust he never expected to receive; nor was he sure he deserved it, but he knew his trust was received with the same fervor.
They were not the recipients tonight, nor the givers. They met as equals--an unusual, heady experience for them both. They kept the pace slow, knowing that for now, nothing more was needed. It would be tortuous, it would take forever, it would be glorious. Harry dipped his head down and stole another long, searching kiss; Severus again taking his breath with every undulation of his hips.
Harry was not exactly coherent himself. He hissed his pleasure when Severus wrapped his long legs behind his thighs, pulling him in even closer. Their bodies took over thought, creeping ever closer to the edge they both so desperately sought.
Arms and legs grasped him tightly as with an inarticulate cry, Severus climaxed, arched into Harry, his face pure poetry. His clenching hands, digging furrows in Harry's back on a hard thrust was his undoing and his own straining, exquisite release filled the space between them. Spent, they relaxed in the boneless aftermath. Harry rested his forehead on Severus' shoulder as he caught his breath enough to move away.
Separating, another small death. They rolled on their sides facing each other. Harry's eyes and hands searched Severus' face almost immediately. 'Have I pleased you enough?'
Severus told him with his eyes, I'm more than fine. I want to be close again. Their arms, without thought, wrapped loosely around each other.
Harry sighed and grinned, "Well, that was a bit of all right."
A chuckle against his shoulder followed by a nip of hot wet lips was his response.
Small movements marked the ending of their current passion and the beginning of their lifetime relationship. Short strokes of tired hands, small touches of sated lips. Severus pulled him close. Without effort, Harry's head found the niche on Severus' shoulder made only for him. Hands found now familiar waists, legs found tangled comfort, and the heavy, mutual sighs of satiation soon became the soft, steady breathing of dreamless sleep as both drifted off.