The three heroes of the Order of the Phoenix brought Harry back to the
Burrow so he would actually know what a family was. Harry enjoyed many
sleepovers filled with nail painting and YM magazine reading with Ron.
While at the Burrow enjoying his flamboyant summer he also realized that
after six years the author like so many other unfortunate ff writers had
decided to add in a love interest that had not shown any interest in him
throughout ANY of the books.
He was now in love with/ had a crush on Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Cho, the random Mary Sue no one gives a shit about and Draco Malfoy. And of course Ron was jealous of ALL of them.
So damn typical.
"Ahem" Harry said bringing out his haring again and holding it in a very threatening way.
WELL GUESS WHAT HARRY? THIS AUTHOR ISN'T TAKING ANY MORE OF YOUR BULLSHIT! I'M NOT AFRAID OF THAT STUPID HARING...WELL NOT REALLY.........YOU KEEP THAT AWAY FROM ME! NO! NO HARRY PLEASE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
this scene was cut do to excessive violence please be patient your program will return momentarily-
Fine Harry we'll only talk about you. Just keep that haring the hell away from me.
The artist formally known as the boys who lived strode powerfully into the open doors of Hogwarts aware that he had just totally bypassed the usual last weeks of summer and the train ride to his magical school. Because guess what? I JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE WRITING THAT PART!
Well he thought the author is one lazy... He was promptly hit over the head with a salmon.
YOU SEE HARRY TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME *CUE EVIL LAUGH*
"Yeah yeah I get it! Gosh darn touchy writer." He said as he followed his fellow Gryffindors into the hall ignoring completely the rest of the houses. Gryffindor ruled all anyway. He sat down with his two bestess friends in the entire world.
And then just before he was able to greet his two bestess bud he saw a girl walk into the hall.
She was beautiful with luscious blonde hair sliding down to her size zero waste and perfectly accenting her huge bosoms. Her perfectly angelic blue eyes scanned the room until they met his she smiled and waved. She was the years newest Mary Sue.
Harry then felt a very odd sensation in his lower areas.
He screamed "GOOD GOD PEOPLE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MY MALE AREAS! THEIR HARD!" he then passed out in shock. You see Rowling? This is why you need to teach children about S-E-X. This goes for you to Bush.
Harry was woken seconds later by Seamus giving him mouth to mouth. He coughed and spluttered and rose in a very valiant way as was the way of teenage saviors of wizarding worlds. The he broke out laughing realizing how dirty Seamus's name was.
"Seamus, seamen!" he chortled the rest of the school joined in with his laughing and Seamus ran out crying hopefully to find some dark corner in which he could kill himself.
Seamus I ask you! Who in their right minds would name their kid that? Ah well back to the story....
The night ended after Dumbledore announced the new defense against the dark's teacher who would disappear for the rest of the story than suddenly appear at the end as a critical player in the final fight scene.
So frickin typical
Harry along with Ron and Hermione returned to their dorms for their 6th year and said goodnight. As Harry hugged Hermione goodnight there was a sudden shriek from behind him.
"KISS HER! KISS HER DAMN IT!" some random blond girl screamed trying to smoosh their two faces together.
"NO SHE LOVES RON NOT HIM! SHE LOVES RON I TELL YOU!" another random teenager this time with brown hair screamed tackling the blonde weirdo to the ground and starting the first ever Hogwarts cat fight.
"Who the hell is that?" Harry yelled backing up as all the male students in his house crowded around hollering at the two girls rolling around on the floor.
"Their the resident H/Hr and R/Hr shippers." Hermione said in a very matter of fact voice.
Shippers? Harry thought, what is this shipper? Maybe, he thought, maybe their some type of evil assassin working for Voldemort?
*cue x-files music*
Harry retired to bed after the R/Hr shipper beat the H/Hr shipper into unconsciousness and was named victorious! Ron and Hermione were made most uncomfortable because of this and the sexual tension between them rose three points.
Harry lie in bed that night wondering. He wondered such things as "why is the sky blue?" "Who is the phantom gourmet?" and "Where do babies come from?"
Christ Rowling you have frickin Arithmancy but no sex Ed.
Harry slowly drifted into sleep dreaming about all six of his romantic interests and wondering what exactly was Arithmancy anyway?
R&R
Love ---Onion
He was now in love with/ had a crush on Hermione, Ginny, Luna, Cho, the random Mary Sue no one gives a shit about and Draco Malfoy. And of course Ron was jealous of ALL of them.
So damn typical.
"Ahem" Harry said bringing out his haring again and holding it in a very threatening way.
WELL GUESS WHAT HARRY? THIS AUTHOR ISN'T TAKING ANY MORE OF YOUR BULLSHIT! I'M NOT AFRAID OF THAT STUPID HARING...WELL NOT REALLY.........YOU KEEP THAT AWAY FROM ME! NO! NO HARRY PLEASE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
this scene was cut do to excessive violence please be patient your program will return momentarily-
Fine Harry we'll only talk about you. Just keep that haring the hell away from me.
The artist formally known as the boys who lived strode powerfully into the open doors of Hogwarts aware that he had just totally bypassed the usual last weeks of summer and the train ride to his magical school. Because guess what? I JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE WRITING THAT PART!
Well he thought the author is one lazy... He was promptly hit over the head with a salmon.
YOU SEE HARRY TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME *CUE EVIL LAUGH*
"Yeah yeah I get it! Gosh darn touchy writer." He said as he followed his fellow Gryffindors into the hall ignoring completely the rest of the houses. Gryffindor ruled all anyway. He sat down with his two bestess friends in the entire world.
And then just before he was able to greet his two bestess bud he saw a girl walk into the hall.
She was beautiful with luscious blonde hair sliding down to her size zero waste and perfectly accenting her huge bosoms. Her perfectly angelic blue eyes scanned the room until they met his she smiled and waved. She was the years newest Mary Sue.
Harry then felt a very odd sensation in his lower areas.
He screamed "GOOD GOD PEOPLE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH MY MALE AREAS! THEIR HARD!" he then passed out in shock. You see Rowling? This is why you need to teach children about S-E-X. This goes for you to Bush.
Harry was woken seconds later by Seamus giving him mouth to mouth. He coughed and spluttered and rose in a very valiant way as was the way of teenage saviors of wizarding worlds. The he broke out laughing realizing how dirty Seamus's name was.
"Seamus, seamen!" he chortled the rest of the school joined in with his laughing and Seamus ran out crying hopefully to find some dark corner in which he could kill himself.
Seamus I ask you! Who in their right minds would name their kid that? Ah well back to the story....
The night ended after Dumbledore announced the new defense against the dark's teacher who would disappear for the rest of the story than suddenly appear at the end as a critical player in the final fight scene.
So frickin typical
Harry along with Ron and Hermione returned to their dorms for their 6th year and said goodnight. As Harry hugged Hermione goodnight there was a sudden shriek from behind him.
"KISS HER! KISS HER DAMN IT!" some random blond girl screamed trying to smoosh their two faces together.
"NO SHE LOVES RON NOT HIM! SHE LOVES RON I TELL YOU!" another random teenager this time with brown hair screamed tackling the blonde weirdo to the ground and starting the first ever Hogwarts cat fight.
"Who the hell is that?" Harry yelled backing up as all the male students in his house crowded around hollering at the two girls rolling around on the floor.
"Their the resident H/Hr and R/Hr shippers." Hermione said in a very matter of fact voice.
Shippers? Harry thought, what is this shipper? Maybe, he thought, maybe their some type of evil assassin working for Voldemort?
*cue x-files music*
Harry retired to bed after the R/Hr shipper beat the H/Hr shipper into unconsciousness and was named victorious! Ron and Hermione were made most uncomfortable because of this and the sexual tension between them rose three points.
Harry lie in bed that night wondering. He wondered such things as "why is the sky blue?" "Who is the phantom gourmet?" and "Where do babies come from?"
Christ Rowling you have frickin Arithmancy but no sex Ed.
Harry slowly drifted into sleep dreaming about all six of his romantic interests and wondering what exactly was Arithmancy anyway?
R&R
Love ---Onion