DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, Hogwarts or any of the characters
used. This story is in no way affiliated with the Harry Potter series by JK
Rowling so don't compare it with her work.
I'd like to thank Megan13 and Rayeanna for their reviews.
Alexei Noire xXx :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 4: Potions with Professor Sally~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{Potions Class with Professor Sally, formerly known as Snape}
Malfoy: *camp but happy* Oooh look at that Potter's arse!
Crabbe: *annoyed* No! He's too boyish for my liking!
Goyle: Huh?
{Over at Harry, Hermione and Ron's table}
Hermione: Hey Harry, I think Malfoy's looking at your arse!
Harry: *turns round and swears at Malfoy* Fucking faggot!
Ron: *trying to impress Hermione* Why would anyone look at Harry's ass when they got MINE to looks at? *sticks out his butt*
Hermione: *disgusted* Err, Ron - no! *slaps Harry's ass hard and squeezes it* Now THAT's what you call a real ass!
Harry: OW! That hurt you know!
Hermione: *mischievously* Yes but you ENJOYED it didn't you? *flicks tongue in and out rapidly*
Ron: Oi Hermione! You're meant to be MY girlfriend!
[Professor Sally strides over wearing lurid purple robes and a bright pink bow in her hair]
Professor Sally: *girlishly* Not arguing I hope, chaps?
Ron: No Professor, I was just coming onto Harry. *kisses Harry deeply*
Professor Sally: *excited* Oooooh well don't let me get in your way! *smacks Hermione's ass* Maybe there's even room for third, eh Granger?
Hermione: *laughing weakly* Yeah... ha ha ha.
[Professor Sally walks away]
Hermione: *angrily* Ron what the fuck were you doing kissing Harry? You're meant to be MY boyfriend, not HIS!
Harry: *a bit distraught* Um aren't we forgetting a very important detail? I'm not gay!
Ron: *laughing derisively* Yeah right!
Hermione: *chuckling* You think we're stupid?
Harry: I'm not! I go out with Lavender!
Hermione: Yeah but she's too stupid to realise that you wank off to a picture of Sirius on your parents' wedding day.
Harry: *blushing* How... wha... when?
Ron: *slipping hands round Hermione's waist and kissing her neck* You don't make any effort to keep your voice down you know. I seen you do it Harry, I had to put a Silencing Charm on myself so that I wouldn't laugh the house down.
Harry: *wide-eyed* But... But... Hermione aren't you disgusted?
Hermione: *giggles* Not really - I thought Sirius was pretty cute myself. Dick was a bit large for my liking though.
Ron: WHAT?
Hermione: *quickly* I...errrr...saw his trouser bulge? Some men have a time hiding those pesky little buggers!
Ron: *collapsing onto stool in disbelief* I can't believe this - you fucked Sirius Black before I could!
Hermione: *ignoring the fact that her boyfriend fancies Harry's dead godfather* Oh Ron, his dick wasn't any bigger than yours...or Professor Snape when she was a he.
Ron: *stands up angrily* WHAT!? You fucked Snape too?
Hermione: *looking up to the ceiling* Oh shit.
{Back at Malfoy's table}
Malfoy: Why do you think Potter swore at me? You reckon he wants to shag me?
[Pansy Parkinson walks over, wobbling slightly under the weight of her overlarge boobs]
Pansy: Bulstrode told me to give you this *hands a crumpled up note to Crabbe*
[Crabbe unfurls note, then reads it quickly]
Crabbe: *throwing down note into the cauldron* ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!! That's vile! That's sick! That's mingin'! AAAAAAARGH!!
Malfoy: *looking at Pansy* What the hell did Bulstrode write in that note?
Pansy: *giggling, and fixing her bra* Just stuff she wanted to do to him if she caught him alone in the Common Room! Hee hee!
Goyle: That's rank!
[Professor Sally walks over, smiling]
Professor Sally: Hello girls! *air kisses Malfoy and Goyle* What's up with Frigid Bridget here? *points to Crabbe*
Pansy: Let's just say, a blowjob and ass-fingering session from Bulstrode did the trick. *walks away*
Professor Sally: *looking to Pansy* Bitch.
Malfoy: I know, girlfriend! She has this sordid idea that girls like us should go out with OTHER GIRLS!
Professor Sally: *claps hand to mouth* No! You're not serious!
Goyle: She jolly well is!
Professor Sally: Well anyway, gals I wanted to show you something.
Crabbe: *recovered* Oh aye? *winks*
[Professor Sally pulls up robes slightly to reveal canary yellow pointed stilettos]
Professor Sally: Aren't they just the living end? *flicks hand forward limply*
Malfoy: *excitedly*They're just DIVINE! Oh by the way, Sal, d'you know what's going on with Potter and his loony toons?
Professor Sally: *claps hands together excitedly* Well you didn't hear this from me, but - Potter and Weasley are going out!
Malfoy: *screams* No!
Professor Sally: Yes! And not only that, Granger's joining in with the fun too!
Malfoy: This it just terrible! It's even worse than the time I found out Orlando Bloom was gay!
Crabbe: That was Rupert Everett, you skank!
Malfoy: *titters nervously* Oh yeah! *pulls out picture of Orlando Bloom and kisses it* You're my Legolas!
Goyle: Freak.
[Professor Sally smacks Goyle's enormous ass and walks away]
Goyle: Bitch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~#
Hehe ppl keep giving me advice on my 'Turbulent Spirits' story which I wrote at like one in the morning LOL!
I'd like to thank Megan13 and Rayeanna for their reviews.
Alexei Noire xXx :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 4: Potions with Professor Sally~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{Potions Class with Professor Sally, formerly known as Snape}
Malfoy: *camp but happy* Oooh look at that Potter's arse!
Crabbe: *annoyed* No! He's too boyish for my liking!
Goyle: Huh?
{Over at Harry, Hermione and Ron's table}
Hermione: Hey Harry, I think Malfoy's looking at your arse!
Harry: *turns round and swears at Malfoy* Fucking faggot!
Ron: *trying to impress Hermione* Why would anyone look at Harry's ass when they got MINE to looks at? *sticks out his butt*
Hermione: *disgusted* Err, Ron - no! *slaps Harry's ass hard and squeezes it* Now THAT's what you call a real ass!
Harry: OW! That hurt you know!
Hermione: *mischievously* Yes but you ENJOYED it didn't you? *flicks tongue in and out rapidly*
Ron: Oi Hermione! You're meant to be MY girlfriend!
[Professor Sally strides over wearing lurid purple robes and a bright pink bow in her hair]
Professor Sally: *girlishly* Not arguing I hope, chaps?
Ron: No Professor, I was just coming onto Harry. *kisses Harry deeply*
Professor Sally: *excited* Oooooh well don't let me get in your way! *smacks Hermione's ass* Maybe there's even room for third, eh Granger?
Hermione: *laughing weakly* Yeah... ha ha ha.
[Professor Sally walks away]
Hermione: *angrily* Ron what the fuck were you doing kissing Harry? You're meant to be MY boyfriend, not HIS!
Harry: *a bit distraught* Um aren't we forgetting a very important detail? I'm not gay!
Ron: *laughing derisively* Yeah right!
Hermione: *chuckling* You think we're stupid?
Harry: I'm not! I go out with Lavender!
Hermione: Yeah but she's too stupid to realise that you wank off to a picture of Sirius on your parents' wedding day.
Harry: *blushing* How... wha... when?
Ron: *slipping hands round Hermione's waist and kissing her neck* You don't make any effort to keep your voice down you know. I seen you do it Harry, I had to put a Silencing Charm on myself so that I wouldn't laugh the house down.
Harry: *wide-eyed* But... But... Hermione aren't you disgusted?
Hermione: *giggles* Not really - I thought Sirius was pretty cute myself. Dick was a bit large for my liking though.
Ron: WHAT?
Hermione: *quickly* I...errrr...saw his trouser bulge? Some men have a time hiding those pesky little buggers!
Ron: *collapsing onto stool in disbelief* I can't believe this - you fucked Sirius Black before I could!
Hermione: *ignoring the fact that her boyfriend fancies Harry's dead godfather* Oh Ron, his dick wasn't any bigger than yours...or Professor Snape when she was a he.
Ron: *stands up angrily* WHAT!? You fucked Snape too?
Hermione: *looking up to the ceiling* Oh shit.
{Back at Malfoy's table}
Malfoy: Why do you think Potter swore at me? You reckon he wants to shag me?
[Pansy Parkinson walks over, wobbling slightly under the weight of her overlarge boobs]
Pansy: Bulstrode told me to give you this *hands a crumpled up note to Crabbe*
[Crabbe unfurls note, then reads it quickly]
Crabbe: *throwing down note into the cauldron* ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!! That's vile! That's sick! That's mingin'! AAAAAAARGH!!
Malfoy: *looking at Pansy* What the hell did Bulstrode write in that note?
Pansy: *giggling, and fixing her bra* Just stuff she wanted to do to him if she caught him alone in the Common Room! Hee hee!
Goyle: That's rank!
[Professor Sally walks over, smiling]
Professor Sally: Hello girls! *air kisses Malfoy and Goyle* What's up with Frigid Bridget here? *points to Crabbe*
Pansy: Let's just say, a blowjob and ass-fingering session from Bulstrode did the trick. *walks away*
Professor Sally: *looking to Pansy* Bitch.
Malfoy: I know, girlfriend! She has this sordid idea that girls like us should go out with OTHER GIRLS!
Professor Sally: *claps hand to mouth* No! You're not serious!
Goyle: She jolly well is!
Professor Sally: Well anyway, gals I wanted to show you something.
Crabbe: *recovered* Oh aye? *winks*
[Professor Sally pulls up robes slightly to reveal canary yellow pointed stilettos]
Professor Sally: Aren't they just the living end? *flicks hand forward limply*
Malfoy: *excitedly*They're just DIVINE! Oh by the way, Sal, d'you know what's going on with Potter and his loony toons?
Professor Sally: *claps hands together excitedly* Well you didn't hear this from me, but - Potter and Weasley are going out!
Malfoy: *screams* No!
Professor Sally: Yes! And not only that, Granger's joining in with the fun too!
Malfoy: This it just terrible! It's even worse than the time I found out Orlando Bloom was gay!
Crabbe: That was Rupert Everett, you skank!
Malfoy: *titters nervously* Oh yeah! *pulls out picture of Orlando Bloom and kisses it* You're my Legolas!
Goyle: Freak.
[Professor Sally smacks Goyle's enormous ass and walks away]
Goyle: Bitch.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~#
Hehe ppl keep giving me advice on my 'Turbulent Spirits' story which I wrote at like one in the morning LOL!