DISCLAIMER: I don't own Harry Potter, Hogwarts or any of the characters
used. This story is in no way affiliated with the Harry Potter series by JK
Rowling so don't compare it with her work.
Hehe thanks to BlackLadyofDoom, Pyro, Aria and Felicia for their reviews - LOL about the Fleur Delacour as a male thing! HAHA! But I've already got the next few chapters written for this, but after that - ya never know! ;)
Alexei Noire xXx :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 6: Moaning Myrtle's Toilet~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{In Transfiguration Class with the Slytherins - at Harry, Hermione and Ron's table}
Professor McGonagall: Today, class we will be turning teacups into exploding fireworks!
Hermione: That's a weird task.
Professor McGonagall: Don't question my technique, Muggle-Born. *taps fingers together* TEE HEE HEE!!
Ron: Rrrrright... then.
Harry: *keeping eyes forward* Is that Malfoy still staring at my fit arse?
Hermione: Why do you care? You're straight, you buffoon!
Harry: WHAT? I'm gay! The other day you had to convince ME that I was gay, and now I'm reciprocating on a later date?
Ron: Shhhhhh Harry.
{Back at Malfoy's table}
Malfoy: *camp* I think I'll impress Potter by making the most explodingest ribtickling sponfabulous fleshbunking firework in the class!
Crabbe: *camp* Stop reading the BFG - you're using fantastesticall adjectives again!
Malfoy: Well what d'you think of my idea then, GOYLE?
Goyle: Hey, guess what? We're in Transfiguration class!
Malfoy: *tuts* Here goes *points wand at teacup* Alitum Inferno!
[Teacup turns into Catherine Wheel, which burns Malfoy ]
Malfoy: Dammit!
Goyle: Ooooh Shiney! *pokes wand at Catherine Wheel, making it roll forwards right into Potter.*
Harry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!! *In pain cuz of the burn (duh!)*
Professor McGonagall: *points wand at Catherine Wheel* Finite Incantatem!
Harry: Fuck! I'm all burnt, Minnie!
Professor McGonagall: I'm called McGoggagoll *giggles madly* Hee hee!
Hermione: Weirdo.
Malfoy: I'm hurt, Professor!
Professor McGonagall: Hmm okay then, Hermione, Ron go to the Hospital Wing then - you look all shagged and raped.
Ron: But Harry's all burnt, we're just sluts!
Hermione: *with her hand down Ron's pants again* Ooooh Ron, can we have some 'fun' later?
Harry: OW!
Professor McGonagall: Oh okay then - Potter, blonde queer in the back who thinks he's Elle Woods, go to Hospital Wing.
[Harry and Malfoy walk out of classroom, nursing severe burns]
Malfoy: *less camp* Now that we're out of there, I can fix this in a jiff! *points wand at Potter's burns* Congelo Maximus! *burns heal*
Harry: Where'd ya learn that, poof?
Malfoy: *annoyed* Oooh who's a lil bitch?
Harry: Shut up, Malfoy, you're not my type.
Malfoy: Well who IS your type then?
Harry: Umm...Seamus Finnigan - when he's wearing a cowboy hat.
Malfoy: Hehehe *points wand at himself, and suddenly has a cowboy hat, leather gloves, boots and a white thong.* How about this then?
Harry: *laughs* Too gay! Anyway I'm gonna go to the toilet.
[Harry walks into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.]
Malfoy: Too GAY? *walks in after Potter*
Harry: *notices the faggot cowboy walked in* Oh hello missy.
Malfoy: *points wand at face* Scourgify! *make up disappears*
Harry: *turns round* Shit! You're ...HOT!
Malfoy: *smiling* I know.
[They strip off, with Harry um...on the *er hem* receiving end. And they fuck for a while]
Moaning Myrtle: Ooooooh gay sex! I wonder what Alexei was smoking when he thought of this story!
Harry: Ohhhhh Seamus! Shit, you Irish cowboy!
Malfoy: Ohhhhh Bellatrix! Shit!
Harry: You fucked the *moans* woman that...that... killed my godfather?
Malfoy: *moans in orgasm* Ohhhhhhhhhh SHIT!
Harry: *also comes* SHIIIIIIIIIIIT! Hubba hubba! I like that! Yes I do!
Moaning Myrtle: Potter, I always knew you were gay, even after the time we fucked.
Harry: *zipping up trouser* My dick froze after that - I think that was the reason for my homosexuality.
Malfoy: *applying lipstick in the mirror* You're ...GAY?
Harry: *rolls eyes* Where have you fucking been ferret?
[Hermione walks in with Seamus and Ron]
Seamus: What's going on here?
Ron: What's that smell?
Hermione: It's a toilet, Ron.
Ron: Oh yeah.
Seamus: *gasps* You both look like you've been shagged!
Hermione: I think it's clear what happened here.
Ron: *claps hand to mouth* You don't mean to say that - MOANING MYRTLE FUCKED THEM???
Hermione: *slaps hand to forehead exasperatedly* No Ron, I don't.
Harry: Umm, we'll be off then. *slaps Draco's ass*
Hermione: Okay then *smacks Harry's ass*
Ron: Oi!
Hermione: *giggles* Sorry! But ummm, you have a bigger cock!
Seamus: *laughs* God, Hermy - the things you say to please your man!
[Exeunt]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~#
Remember, I escaped from a drug rehabilitation clinic, broke out of a mental hospital and snuck out of prison with the help of my good mate Lemony Snicket - so understandably, I'm not gonna be the sanest person u meet.
Alexei Noire xXx :D
Hehe thanks to BlackLadyofDoom, Pyro, Aria and Felicia for their reviews - LOL about the Fleur Delacour as a male thing! HAHA! But I've already got the next few chapters written for this, but after that - ya never know! ;)
Alexei Noire xXx :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Chapter 6: Moaning Myrtle's Toilet~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
{In Transfiguration Class with the Slytherins - at Harry, Hermione and Ron's table}
Professor McGonagall: Today, class we will be turning teacups into exploding fireworks!
Hermione: That's a weird task.
Professor McGonagall: Don't question my technique, Muggle-Born. *taps fingers together* TEE HEE HEE!!
Ron: Rrrrright... then.
Harry: *keeping eyes forward* Is that Malfoy still staring at my fit arse?
Hermione: Why do you care? You're straight, you buffoon!
Harry: WHAT? I'm gay! The other day you had to convince ME that I was gay, and now I'm reciprocating on a later date?
Ron: Shhhhhh Harry.
{Back at Malfoy's table}
Malfoy: *camp* I think I'll impress Potter by making the most explodingest ribtickling sponfabulous fleshbunking firework in the class!
Crabbe: *camp* Stop reading the BFG - you're using fantastesticall adjectives again!
Malfoy: Well what d'you think of my idea then, GOYLE?
Goyle: Hey, guess what? We're in Transfiguration class!
Malfoy: *tuts* Here goes *points wand at teacup* Alitum Inferno!
[Teacup turns into Catherine Wheel, which burns Malfoy ]
Malfoy: Dammit!
Goyle: Ooooh Shiney! *pokes wand at Catherine Wheel, making it roll forwards right into Potter.*
Harry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!! *In pain cuz of the burn (duh!)*
Professor McGonagall: *points wand at Catherine Wheel* Finite Incantatem!
Harry: Fuck! I'm all burnt, Minnie!
Professor McGonagall: I'm called McGoggagoll *giggles madly* Hee hee!
Hermione: Weirdo.
Malfoy: I'm hurt, Professor!
Professor McGonagall: Hmm okay then, Hermione, Ron go to the Hospital Wing then - you look all shagged and raped.
Ron: But Harry's all burnt, we're just sluts!
Hermione: *with her hand down Ron's pants again* Ooooh Ron, can we have some 'fun' later?
Harry: OW!
Professor McGonagall: Oh okay then - Potter, blonde queer in the back who thinks he's Elle Woods, go to Hospital Wing.
[Harry and Malfoy walk out of classroom, nursing severe burns]
Malfoy: *less camp* Now that we're out of there, I can fix this in a jiff! *points wand at Potter's burns* Congelo Maximus! *burns heal*
Harry: Where'd ya learn that, poof?
Malfoy: *annoyed* Oooh who's a lil bitch?
Harry: Shut up, Malfoy, you're not my type.
Malfoy: Well who IS your type then?
Harry: Umm...Seamus Finnigan - when he's wearing a cowboy hat.
Malfoy: Hehehe *points wand at himself, and suddenly has a cowboy hat, leather gloves, boots and a white thong.* How about this then?
Harry: *laughs* Too gay! Anyway I'm gonna go to the toilet.
[Harry walks into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.]
Malfoy: Too GAY? *walks in after Potter*
Harry: *notices the faggot cowboy walked in* Oh hello missy.
Malfoy: *points wand at face* Scourgify! *make up disappears*
Harry: *turns round* Shit! You're ...HOT!
Malfoy: *smiling* I know.
[They strip off, with Harry um...on the *er hem* receiving end. And they fuck for a while]
Moaning Myrtle: Ooooooh gay sex! I wonder what Alexei was smoking when he thought of this story!
Harry: Ohhhhh Seamus! Shit, you Irish cowboy!
Malfoy: Ohhhhh Bellatrix! Shit!
Harry: You fucked the *moans* woman that...that... killed my godfather?
Malfoy: *moans in orgasm* Ohhhhhhhhhh SHIT!
Harry: *also comes* SHIIIIIIIIIIIT! Hubba hubba! I like that! Yes I do!
Moaning Myrtle: Potter, I always knew you were gay, even after the time we fucked.
Harry: *zipping up trouser* My dick froze after that - I think that was the reason for my homosexuality.
Malfoy: *applying lipstick in the mirror* You're ...GAY?
Harry: *rolls eyes* Where have you fucking been ferret?
[Hermione walks in with Seamus and Ron]
Seamus: What's going on here?
Ron: What's that smell?
Hermione: It's a toilet, Ron.
Ron: Oh yeah.
Seamus: *gasps* You both look like you've been shagged!
Hermione: I think it's clear what happened here.
Ron: *claps hand to mouth* You don't mean to say that - MOANING MYRTLE FUCKED THEM???
Hermione: *slaps hand to forehead exasperatedly* No Ron, I don't.
Harry: Umm, we'll be off then. *slaps Draco's ass*
Hermione: Okay then *smacks Harry's ass*
Ron: Oi!
Hermione: *giggles* Sorry! But ummm, you have a bigger cock!
Seamus: *laughs* God, Hermy - the things you say to please your man!
[Exeunt]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~#
Remember, I escaped from a drug rehabilitation clinic, broke out of a mental hospital and snuck out of prison with the help of my good mate Lemony Snicket - so understandably, I'm not gonna be the sanest person u meet.
Alexei Noire xXx :D