Hiding Under the Ninth Earth
Book 02 : A Bit Of All Right
by I Got Tired of Waiting

Part V : Together
Chapter Forty Six : A Proposal

14 August 2003

A week later saw them securely settled into their routine. Harry went to a few job interviews, still not finding anything to satisfy him. He had many offers, all still open, but had accepted none. He didn't quite know what the problem was, but each one had something 'missing', or some 'catch' making the proposal unacceptable. He kept hoping one would turn up that was perfect; he might not know what it was he wanted, but he knew he would know it when it came up.

Severus was doing his annual 'before-the-beginning-of-the-school-year' ritual. There were lesson plans to be dusted off, ingredients to be prepared and stocked for the fall classes, and potions to be made for the school infirmary. In addition there was Albus' newest academic endeavor--extra lessons for the few students who elected private remedial potions tutouring.

Harry could almost feet sorry for the students desperate enough to brave the Potions Master without the stalwart backing of their peers. Although dedicated to helping them 'catch up' in the three weeks allotted to the private study, Harry knew Severus would not make it easy for them either. Nor did he suffer the two fools who had taken the class in the misguided hopes of currying extra favour with their irascible professor. Severus was rather disgusted by the whole thing and Harry had patiently listened to more than one tirade since they'd been back about Dumbledore's tactics in raising the standards now that students could concentrate on careers rather than conflict. The continuance of the graduate program had been the first step over four years ago, the addition of the summer school session last year, which Severus had narrowly escaped, and now this--

"Teaching a group of hopeless dullards what they should have learned in the first place, had they been remotely capable of paying any attention. Not that they do so now. Three years, let alone three weeks, will not make up for a lifetime of poor, irrational habits. I don't know what Albus was thinking of, if he even was--" And so on it went--and went--and went.

Severus had been finishing up a new batch of pain potions for Madame Pomfrey and preparing class demonstration ingredients when Harry came home earlier than expected, disgruntled, his afternoon interview a wasted bother. Instead of meeting with a hospice administrator as he'd expected, a reporter had greeted him; he'd walked out, furious, without saying a word.

Working always calmed him, so he started storing the ingredients Severus had already completed while he told him about what had happened. "Should be interesting what he writes," Harry observed as he bottled up the prepared Dragon's Heart for the lab's shelves, stashing the last bottle in the upper shelf of one of the locked cabinets. After re-warding it, he went to the stone sink and washed his hands.

"The Daily Prophet, nominated three times for 'Best Fiction in The British Isles'," Severus observed with a smirk, marking labels on a batch of mature Mandrake. "Let me guess, the rumours about your healing? No, wait--don't answer that. You're angry."

Severus struck a pose, hand poised over the bottle as if it were an imaginary pad of paper, an evil leer on his face. "Must have been something like," he quoted in an American accent, "'Mr. Potter, is it true you're having a torrid affair with the Prince of Evil, Severus Snape? And is he really as good in bed as he's rumoured to be?'"

Harry laughed; he couldn't help it. Severus' little voices were just too funny. "Well, he didn't mention anything about an 'Evil Prince', but the rest is spot on. Cheeky bastard didn't even let me sit down before he asked the first question," Harry muttered.

Severus looked crushed. "What? No Evil Prince? I must be losing my touch."

"Well, I wouldn't exactly call you evil. Wicked, perhaps." He lifted his brows.

Severus warded the door, grabbed him about the waist arching Harry against him, and kissed him breathless. "Only wicked?" he murmured while nibbling on his earlobe, his tongue lightly tracing the outer shell.

Harry shivered. "Well, maybe a little evil," he panted, suddenly rock hard.

Severus settled between his legs, teasing and nipping down Harry's neck, pressing him against one of the work tables. His hands dove under Harry's robes. "Only a little evil?" Severus asked slyly, his nimble hands tormenting him through his clothes. He stopped and pulled back, his body still pressing Harry into the table, his hands poised to continue.

Harry hitched a breath, nerves taut. "Now THAT is evil."

****

Afterwards, back in their quarters, their stomachs rumbling, Harry conjured Chinese take-out to the table in the little dining nook off of the sitting room. Severus eyed the white paper containers with some suspicion and the chopsticks with outright disbelief.

However, the food was tasty and he soon found his manual talents as a Potions Master were not wasted as he wielded the two sticks of wood dexterously through the noodles and the other exotic dishes with such funny names as, 'My-Good-Pan' and 'Chez-Zoo-Won-Eggplant'. Harry chuckled throughout the meal, especially when Severus chewed endlessly on some calimari asking him why the Chinese felt the need to eat rubber fish.

"It's not fish," Harry said, trying very hard not to laugh.

Severus raised a brow. "Not fish? What is it, then?"

Harry's eyes were dancing as he choked out, "Squid."

"Squid? Really?" Severus picked up one of the remaining rings and pretended to measure it. Looking through the ring at Harry, who was slumped in his chair holding his sides, he said ironically, "It's frightening; I can almost see the appeal."

Severus could tell by Harry's snort of laughter that he was remembering The Book's Animagus pictures even as he was.

With mock severity Severus declared, "Bit of a performance issue there as well." He popped one of the pieces into his mouth rolling it in with the tip of his tongue. "I suppose one could always have one's partner deep fried if he failed to please." He swallowed. "A bit chewy, though."

That was it, Harry couldn't breathe. "Talk about--pressure!"

****

At the end of the meal most of the containers were empty, even the squid, and they were very full. Severus leaned back in his chair, groaning, his eyes closed in repletion, "Oh, that was wicked. I don't think I could stuff in another morsel."

"Not even a fortune cookie?" Harry asked, his voice barely containing his excitement.

Severus opened a lid and noticed the spark in Harry's eyes but said nothing except, "Fortunate Cookie?"

"No, Fortune Cookie--A folded cookie that has a fortune--a divination, if you will, baked into it."

"Oh." Severus tried to sound disappointed. "And here I thought it meant I would be fortunate to get the cookie down after such a splendid meal."

Ignoring his comment with a smile, Harry asked, "Want to try one? They're not very big." He held one out to Severus.

"It's green," he observed, gingerly taking it and holding the twice folded cookie in his palm. "Is it supposed to be green?" He shook it and it rattled.

Harry laughed, "They come in different colours, green is for good joss--you know, good luck."

Severus nodded sagely. "Ah, and what does one do with such a fortunate cookie?"

"Break it open and read the message inside." Harry was sitting on the edge of his seat.

'Definitely up to something, but it's good to see him so animated.' He took the hard cookie and gently broke it at the main seam. The two halves left over still rattled, but his interest was in the slip of paper sticking out of one side. He pulled it out and, setting the two halves back on a small side plate on the table, read in Harry's best scrawl:

Someone loves you very much. He smiled and turned it over. Will you make vows with me?

Time stood still for Severus. Bereft of words, he thought, 'Well, I'll be damned--he beat me to it. And I'm still not ready. What can I say to him? How do I tell him 'no' and not hurt him? How can I make him see I am not hiding things from him, that the opportunity to tell him just hasn't come up?' He raised shadowed eyes to Harry, mute in his dilemma.

Harry rose from his seat. Severus could see from Harry's confusion that his reaction was not exactly what he'd foreseen. Severus rose with him and they stood on opposite sides of the table, their eyes locked and searching. 'No, my reticence is not what he envisioned, although surely he could not have expected an effusion of sentiment, either?'

Harry slowly walked around the table never breaking his eyes away until he stood before him. 'He's scared he's read me wrong or perhaps is asking too soon--this would be so much easier were that the case.' Severus opened his mouth to speak when Harry picked up the two pieces of cookie left on the small plate, handing one of them to his lover. "Open this end, Sev," he ordered quietly.

Nonplussed, Severus delicately broke the seam of the surprisingly hard cookie at the same time Harry broke his. Lying there in his palm, amidst the sharp scent of anise, was a ring. A five strand woven Celtic ring with two hands clasped in the middle. Different than a Claddagh, the outer rings, in the shape of slender snakes he immediately recognised, were woven in and out of the other three.

He turned the ring over and spied the removable pin in the bottom holding the rings in place. When he pulled it, all five broke apart to reveal a central band with a heart hidden by the two hands forming the two inner bands. He'd heard of such rings before; they were Gaelic marriage bands--very old and very rare. He reassembled them with ease and slipped the pin back in place feeling the 'click' in the magic of the heavy gold.

"A Gimmal Ring? Where ever did you find these?" he asked, still thinking fast.

Harry nodded. "The three original inner bands belonged to my parents--they were their nuptial rings and belonged to my father's family. I had the previous magic removed to make them ours. The outer two I had added--I saw the snakes on a glyph I found in town but was not fast enough to buy." He hesitated. Eyeing Severus' stoical reaction he asked shakily, "Severus, you don't mind they were my parents' rings, do you?"

Severus gave it due consideration. Eventually, he said, "I admit it does bother me a bit, but not enough to object. I suppose if their mark was still on them, I might, but I would say you have made them unique; they're actually quite handsome." He could see Harry was still not convinced. "Harry, I would hope you know me well enough by now to know that the type and style of the rings, as long as they're not overly gaudy, truly do not matter to me. And your apparent pleasure in using them has no small influence on my feelings about them; if you are satisfied with them, then I am as well."

He put the full force of his truth into his words. Harry relaxed a bit and seemed content as he picked up the matching bands from his palm and broke them apart at the pin. He removed the heart, and set it aside from the others. He reassembled the rings, the magic pin reshaping itself to the new thickness. He indicated Severus should do the same thing, which he did, handing the heart to Harry once separate. Harry pulled out a third pin from his pocket and fastened the two hearts together, tops facing each other and held them up looking at them.

"I found out the hidden hearts are not added until the final bonding." He touched the other two sets. "The remaining bands serve as handfasting rings." He raised hopeful eyes to Severus again and whispered earnestly, "Say you'll wear them, Severus. Say you'll make vows with me. Show me, please, that we'll never have to doubt again. Tell me you love me as much as I love you."

'Oh gods, this is not fair. I'm still not ready. I'd thought I'd have some time to prepare.' Severus bent his head and kissed him briefly, his heart pounding with regret. "I do love you, Harry, but I cannot promise forever. Not yet. There are--matters--we must discuss before we can decide--"

"You're saying 'no'?" Harry asked, his face falling, his heart breaking in his eyes. "But I thought--" His voice trailed off with a wealth of conflicting emotions; his eyes closed.

While he did not appreciate the interruption, Severus understood it. He gently took Harry, unresisting, into his arms and kissed his eyelids. Harry lowered his head and curled it on his chest. Severus' low dulcet tones washed over him, trying to sooth Harry as his words could not. "Harry, please, don't make this any harder than it already is. I do love you and would like nothing more than to make vows with you. Do you hear me, Harry?" He felt Harry's nod against his chest, his arms tightening around him.

Severus ran his hand over Harry's unruly hair, fingering the soft strands as he tried to still his pounding heart. "I need you to really listen and put aside your frustration for a moment--I have not said, 'no'. I have said 'not yet'. There is a difference, you know, small as it may seem. We must talk first."

Harry pulled away enough to raised questioning eyes to him. Severus tried to read their depths and regretted the fearful worry he saw there. "I do not mean to reject you," he murmured, bending his head to taste him, to try and erase the hurt without words.

Harry responded to the kiss, his body melting into him the way it always did when they exchanged one of their serious kisses. Severus had once likened it to the melding of ingredients within his simmering cauldrons--each separate until the heat and fire made something new, something whole, something more. It was not meant to arouse, although it often did. It was rather a reassurance, a reaffirmation of themselves, their togetherness. Both drew strength from it and when this one ended, Severus could see Harry felt calmer, less panicked, more ready to listen.

"What is it we need to talk about, Severus?" Harry asked, his body pliant against him.

He kissed his forehead, his nose edging the hair out the way so he could kiss the scar, something he rarely did, but was his way of telling Harry how serious he was. "We're not warded yet. We must be before we can commit to anything."

"Ward? As in a deflection spell?" Harry asked puzzled, pulling away. When Harry touched his scar, Severus could feel his unease.

"No, ward as in protection," he replied calmly, knowing he was about get a mouthful of Harry's ire.

He was right. Harry's quick temper was pricked. "Severus, I am not a child, I do NOT need your protection." He moved away, standing separate, his eyes wary.

"Perhaps you do not, but WE do." Severus was not flustered by the reaction nor by Harry's sudden distance. He walked over to a side table in the sitting room and opened a shallow drawer. Reaching in, he pulled out a long flat package and tucked it into his pocket after shutting it quietly. Turning to Harry, he said mildly, "Come, I've something to show you." He led Harry, mystified but still defiant, through their quarters to stand at the back of his study. "Stand here, please. I've never revealed this to anyone before, excepting Albus; the place knows him," he added cryptically.

Concentrating, he brought down the external wards to the private library, revealing a hidden door that opened on its own. With the way he stiffened, he knew Harry could feel the staggering dark power contained within. They stood at the entrance to the huge room with its orderly rows of overflowing shelves and the large desk in the middle, but they did not enter; Severus gently barred his way. "I have been collecting these for nearly 30 years. They represent almost the total sum of Dark Arts knowledge ever printed, ever recorded. I have read every volume in here, committed many to memory."

Harry was incredulous and not a little angry. "It's been here all this time and I didn't know about it? Didn't feel it? As strong as it is? How is that possible?"

Severus sighed, barely containing his impatience at Harry's insistent questions. "It's heavily protected against intrusion. Many of these books contain traps to catch the unwary and untrained. Until we re-ward it, you cannot access it and I would advise not trying to read its Schema--this whole section of the castle would be destroyed if anyone other than Dumbledore or I were to try and open it."

Harry took a step back; Severus silently lauded his caution. "Albus forbade me from telling you about it as long as Voldemort was alive and afterwards, there was no need to access it. In the last five years it has only been opened twice, once before we were together and the other--you were not here at the time--"

"Did you come here when you looked up the potion--to save my life from Draco?" It was Severus' turn to stare. Harry twisted his lips wryly. "No you've not told me, but it is a part of your nightmares. I assumed you wanted it quiet so I've said nothing, but I loved you more for it." He narrowed his eyes, suddenly dangerous. "Why did you come here the last time?"

Severus took his hand and they stared into the room. "I came here the last time, over a year ago, to look up information on The Veil." He cleared his throat, and irony lowered his tone. "Had I known of your mastery, I would have shown it to you two years ago, as it was--" He said no more, and Harry relaxed. "I did not keep it from you on purpose."

When Harry failed to reply, Severus continued, "When I do research here, as you will too someday, I work with a series of cautionary wards, the most important of which is embedded in the center of that table. It keeps me from being drawn into the texts, keeps me intact and works through another series of Summoning spells should I fail to respond."

"What type of summoning spells?" Harry asked, intrigued despite his ire.

"Hmmm. Albus designed them. One of the spells chimes, for lack of a better word, at regular intervals of about 15 minutes apart. If I fail to answer it with a specific counterspell, then Albus is notified there is a problem and can come down and break whatever thrall I'm in."

"Has he ever had to do so?"

"Only once. I was a damn fool and in a hurry. I forgot to activate the ward in the table and the book snared me in less than 5 minutes. Fortunately, the Summoning spell is set to automatically notify Albus should I ever do anything that stupid, which at the time I thought a bit overprotective, but nonetheless, he got to me before the book could melt my brain into jelly."

Curiosity coloured his voice as Harry asked, "What's embedded in the table?"

'Well, here's another rough spot I'm ill-prepared for,' he thought, near panic himself even as he calmly said, "It's a talisman given to me by Mecadia when we first became lovers while I was taking my Mastery. He wanted me protected, as you say, because he was worried about the 'situation' I found myself in. He wouldn't let me give him any protection in return, saying he needed it not. He could take care of himself. Does this sound vaguely familiar?"

Harry neatly sidestepped the implicit admonishment by saying, "I know you've talked of him as your best friend at Hogwarts, and you speak to him sometimes in your dreams as more than that, but I never asked, not wanting to pry. He is in your past?" Harry asked with some trepidation.

Severus was touched by the question and by the privacy Harry always gave him. He suspected Harry was wondering if his past relationship with Mecadia was why Severus had turned him down. He could feel the implied rejection still stung, but Harry was trying very hard not to show it.

He hastened to reassure him. "Very much in my past. I loved him but, unfortunately, not enough. We were only together a year before he--died."

At Harry's startled face, he realised Harry didn't know Mecadia was dead--a small detail he'd forgot to mention somewhere in their talks. Kicking himself for the unintentional omission, he kissed him briefly on the cheek. "I am sorry, I thought I'd told you this."

"Must have slipped your mind," Harry said wryly, his eyebrow raised in relieved amusement over Severus' discomfort.

Severus cleared his throat, swallowing his retort to say instead, "I should close this room. We've no need of it and to leave it open like this, unprotected, is tempting fate." He waved his wand again with a guttural spell and the wall shimmered back into its plain stone face, the concealing wards back in place, sealing the room.

Taking Harry's hand, he said, "Come, let's sit and finish this."

**** TBC ****