A/N ~ Thanks to those of you who read the first chapter! I hope you liked
it, in spite of how confusing it was. Since it wasn't very clear, I'm going
to give you a little story background now, because I probably should have
in the first place : After Adam and Joan danced under the streetlights (in
Recreation), they "coupled", and a month before the story begins, they
(*gasp!*) slept together..this is how Joan defied God, and ever since it
happened, she has been trying to avoid both God and Adam. Now, after
talking to God about consequences, Joan assumes she is pregnant, and
decides she has to go make things right with Adam, which is where the story
picks up in Chapter 2. I hope that makes things a little less confusing!
And as always, please please please review! =)
She knew he'd be in his shed, so she went directly there after pulling into his driveway. Well, not directly. First she'd sat in the car, trying to figure out what in the name of God (no pun intended) she was going to say. Or do, if it was true. And what if Adam didn't want to see her? What if he was pissed because she hadn't returned his calls? Would he be as willing to forgive?
Finally, Joan stepped out of the car, shivering even though it was July. Her feet felt like they were part of the ground as she took slow, heavy steps to the shed.
"Jane," Adam said, looking up from his latest contraption, obviously surprised to see her.
"Adam," Joan said, surprised at how wavery her voice had come out. She felt her cheek, and found it damp. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying.
"What is it?" he asked softly, putting down a hubcap and coming over to meet her.
"Adam...I'm sorry," she rasped, the words coming out choked, pushing past what she really had intended to say.
Adam looked at her intently for a moment, weighing whether or not to believe her. When he pulled her into his arms, she let herself cry even harder, a mixture of relief and apprehension.
"It's okay, yo," Adam said gently, as he ran his hand down Joan's hair and linked his arms around her ribcage.
Joan turned her face away from Adam's shoulder and into his neck, her ragged breath warming his collarbone. He embraced her tightly, reassuringly, and she wondered how she had done without him, his touch, the way he made her feel like the most normal and the most extraordinary girl at the same time, but above all, the way he made her feel safe.
"I'm sorry, too, Jane," he said finally, kissing her atop the head.
He'd been holding her in his arms, without further question, just trying to calm her down. He spoke as if he thought this is what she had been waiting for.
"I don't want you to be sorry, Adam," she replied. "I just want you to forgive me."
Adam's eyes veiled over with confusion.
"Forgive you?"
"For avoiding you for so long when what I really should have done was come to you. God, maybe you were as freaked out as I was, and I wasn't even here to help you. I just ran away from you again....how could I have done that?" she whispered, tears overwhelming her again.
"I get it," he said. "I know you freaked. I did too, yo. But the only reason I freaked was because I thought that we'd ruined everything, you know? When we thought that it would...I don't know, make everything...."
"Real?" Joan guessed.
"Yeah."
Joan released a shuddery breath from her tumultuous insides as she considered the word. Real. Reality. Reality was about to set in. And with that, she suddenly remembered why she had come.
"Adam," she said.
"What?" he asked, leaning back from her, and framing her face with his hands. He was look straight into her eyes, and her knees buckled.
"Jane," he said, with soft urgency, steadying her. "Dude, whatever it is, I won't be mad."
He linked his fingers through the belt loops of Joan's maroon corduroy skirt, and leaned his forehead against hers. Sometimes Joan was overtaken by the intensity of the love she could feel from Adam, just from the simplest gestures. Bearing this in mind, she somehow found the confidence to say it.
"What if I'm pregnant?"
She felt him freeze, his body and expression go rigid in unison as soon as the question had been asked.
"You're pregnant?" he asked, his voice barely audible, as he looked at her. Joan was surprised by the lack of disbelief on his face.she couldn't quite read it, but it definitely didn't say "shock".
"No," Joan said quickly - a little too quickly.
"I mean, I don't know. Maybe....I, I just have this feeling," she explained feebly.
"Feeling like what?" Adam asked, confused, as he slid a hand upward from her hip and splayed it over her flat abdomen.
"Like....I'm pregnant!" she finished, now confused herself.
"That's wicked heavy, Jane...." Adam said, his voice trailing off.
Joan could feel the fear that she was feeling coming through in Adam's voice.
"I'm sorry," Joan said again, not knowing what else she could say.
"Come on, yo," Adam said, grabbing Joan's hand and leading her out into the twilight.
"Where are we going?" she asked timidly.
Adam led her to the passenger side of his car, and opened the door for her. As soon as she'd sat inside, raising her eyebrows at him, he went to the driver's side, got in, and began pulling out of the driveway.
"Adam, where are we going?" she asked again.
"Don't you want to know?" he asked, and she knew he wasn't asking her if she wanted him to tell her where they were going. That wasn't what he meant.
Joan didn't answer....the truth was, she didn't want to know if she was...pregnant. Not for sure. She was a little surprised at Adam, though. He'd never actually....taken charge like this with her before. For once, his spacey-ness was not gone, but diminished somewhat. She didn't like it. It wasn't Adam. But at the same time, she was grateful for it.
Adam drove for what seemed like forever, until the street signs had changed color, and Joan wasn't sure where they were anymore. But she trusted that Adam did. And even if he didn't, she knew he'd bring her home, he always did. Finally, Adam pulled into the parking lot of a drugstore, unbuckled his seatbelt, and started out of the car.
"Lock the doors, kay? I'll be right back," he said. As he was getting out of the car, Joan grabbed his wrist.
"Why are you doing this, Adam?" she asked, holding his eyes to hers.
Adam looked at her compassionately, and kissed her hand.
"Because you're scared," he said. He offered her a slight smile, and then jogged into the drugstore.
Joan leaned back against the seat, and closed her eyes, letting everything sink in deeper. She could be pregnant with Adam Rove's baby -- for real this time. God, how was she going to tell her parents? They would positively, absolutely, totally freak. They'd flipped when they'd mistakenly suspected that she could've mothered the baby that cheerleader dumped in the garbage last year. What would her father, Kevin even, do to poor Adam? Her head began to pound in rhythm with her erratic heart. Jeez, why wasn't God ever around when she had a few questions of her own?
Suddenly, a tapping on the window glass made Joan jump slightly. She looked out the window, and saw Him, in his Cute Boy guise, looking in at her tenderly. He motioned for her to roll the window down, and of course, she complied. When God told you to roll down the window, you did it. In fact, Joan was fairly certain it was in the Ten Commandments. Right after having a yard sale and inviting the school psychopath to the winter semiformal.
"Don't you think you're jumping to conclusions here, Joan?" He asked, smirking.
Joan looked around suspiciously, as she still felt the need to do.
"What are You doing here?" she whispered loudly.
"You know, just because we're not face to face doesn't mean you can't talk to me. I'm always listening, and I'm always with you," God assured her.
"Always?" Joan asked, letting her mind wander to places she was sure neither of them prefer it be.
"Yep."
"You mean, you were there when Adam and I-" she stammered in mortification.
God nodded.
"Weird," Joan said, shuddering.
"You think it was weird for you?" God asked.
"Let's say we're even, okay? But you still haven't answered my question," Joan continued.
"You haven't answered mine," God replied. "I asked if you if you thought you were jumping to conclusions."
"You said my actions would have consequences," Joan insisted urgently.
"And they will. So you automatically assume that you're pregnant?" God asked, sounding almost amused.
"Are you saying I'm not?!" Joan demanded, sighing with relief.
"No," God said.
"So you're saying I am?!" Joan squealed.
"No," God said again. "Hints, Joan. Remember the big picture?"
Joan nodded, not wanting to go there.
"But what is the hint here? About my 'consequences'? Am I missing it, or something? And is this some kind of mission? Because you haven't given me one since the time you told me to read The Bell Jar backwards.about which, I didn't question you, I might add!" Joan pouted.
God smiled, and shook His head slightly.
"Joan, I realize that you've done well taking on the missions I give you. But let us not forget that you've also disobeyed me. Now, that's been forgiven, but remember ripples? You'll be seeing your ripples soon. Just keep your eyes open," God said cryptically.
Joan was beginning to wonder where Adam was.
"Do you always have to look like this when Adam is around? I mean, really."
"He's a great guy, Joan....it's not everyday you find one willing to go to the drugstore and buy you a pregnancy test," God pointed out.
Joan winced at the mention of the p-word, not to mention the fact that she was discussing it with God, who happened to be pretty hot at the moment. But at the same time, He was right. Adam was... phenomenal.
"Did...did I ever thank you for him?" she asked quietly.
God smiled warmly, and reached His hand through the window, and squeezed Joan's hand.
"Yes, Joan, in many ways."
With that, He turned and started walking across the darkened parking lot. He paused, and turned around.
"Keep your eyes open, Joan," he called. "Everything will be clear soon."
Joan looked over as Adam unlocked the car door and seated himself behind the steering wheel. He put a small brown paper bag on the seat beside him, and leaned back, sighing. He looked over at Joan, and he leaned over and hugged her reassuringly.
"Don't freak, Jane...it'll be okay....even if, you know, you are," Adam said.
Joan nodded, though for the first time, she didn't believe him.
A/N - Does that make any more sense? And more importantly, what did you think? Should I continue?? Thanks for the feedback! =)
She knew he'd be in his shed, so she went directly there after pulling into his driveway. Well, not directly. First she'd sat in the car, trying to figure out what in the name of God (no pun intended) she was going to say. Or do, if it was true. And what if Adam didn't want to see her? What if he was pissed because she hadn't returned his calls? Would he be as willing to forgive?
Finally, Joan stepped out of the car, shivering even though it was July. Her feet felt like they were part of the ground as she took slow, heavy steps to the shed.
"Jane," Adam said, looking up from his latest contraption, obviously surprised to see her.
"Adam," Joan said, surprised at how wavery her voice had come out. She felt her cheek, and found it damp. She hadn't even realized she'd been crying.
"What is it?" he asked softly, putting down a hubcap and coming over to meet her.
"Adam...I'm sorry," she rasped, the words coming out choked, pushing past what she really had intended to say.
Adam looked at her intently for a moment, weighing whether or not to believe her. When he pulled her into his arms, she let herself cry even harder, a mixture of relief and apprehension.
"It's okay, yo," Adam said gently, as he ran his hand down Joan's hair and linked his arms around her ribcage.
Joan turned her face away from Adam's shoulder and into his neck, her ragged breath warming his collarbone. He embraced her tightly, reassuringly, and she wondered how she had done without him, his touch, the way he made her feel like the most normal and the most extraordinary girl at the same time, but above all, the way he made her feel safe.
"I'm sorry, too, Jane," he said finally, kissing her atop the head.
He'd been holding her in his arms, without further question, just trying to calm her down. He spoke as if he thought this is what she had been waiting for.
"I don't want you to be sorry, Adam," she replied. "I just want you to forgive me."
Adam's eyes veiled over with confusion.
"Forgive you?"
"For avoiding you for so long when what I really should have done was come to you. God, maybe you were as freaked out as I was, and I wasn't even here to help you. I just ran away from you again....how could I have done that?" she whispered, tears overwhelming her again.
"I get it," he said. "I know you freaked. I did too, yo. But the only reason I freaked was because I thought that we'd ruined everything, you know? When we thought that it would...I don't know, make everything...."
"Real?" Joan guessed.
"Yeah."
Joan released a shuddery breath from her tumultuous insides as she considered the word. Real. Reality. Reality was about to set in. And with that, she suddenly remembered why she had come.
"Adam," she said.
"What?" he asked, leaning back from her, and framing her face with his hands. He was look straight into her eyes, and her knees buckled.
"Jane," he said, with soft urgency, steadying her. "Dude, whatever it is, I won't be mad."
He linked his fingers through the belt loops of Joan's maroon corduroy skirt, and leaned his forehead against hers. Sometimes Joan was overtaken by the intensity of the love she could feel from Adam, just from the simplest gestures. Bearing this in mind, she somehow found the confidence to say it.
"What if I'm pregnant?"
She felt him freeze, his body and expression go rigid in unison as soon as the question had been asked.
"You're pregnant?" he asked, his voice barely audible, as he looked at her. Joan was surprised by the lack of disbelief on his face.she couldn't quite read it, but it definitely didn't say "shock".
"No," Joan said quickly - a little too quickly.
"I mean, I don't know. Maybe....I, I just have this feeling," she explained feebly.
"Feeling like what?" Adam asked, confused, as he slid a hand upward from her hip and splayed it over her flat abdomen.
"Like....I'm pregnant!" she finished, now confused herself.
"That's wicked heavy, Jane...." Adam said, his voice trailing off.
Joan could feel the fear that she was feeling coming through in Adam's voice.
"I'm sorry," Joan said again, not knowing what else she could say.
"Come on, yo," Adam said, grabbing Joan's hand and leading her out into the twilight.
"Where are we going?" she asked timidly.
Adam led her to the passenger side of his car, and opened the door for her. As soon as she'd sat inside, raising her eyebrows at him, he went to the driver's side, got in, and began pulling out of the driveway.
"Adam, where are we going?" she asked again.
"Don't you want to know?" he asked, and she knew he wasn't asking her if she wanted him to tell her where they were going. That wasn't what he meant.
Joan didn't answer....the truth was, she didn't want to know if she was...pregnant. Not for sure. She was a little surprised at Adam, though. He'd never actually....taken charge like this with her before. For once, his spacey-ness was not gone, but diminished somewhat. She didn't like it. It wasn't Adam. But at the same time, she was grateful for it.
Adam drove for what seemed like forever, until the street signs had changed color, and Joan wasn't sure where they were anymore. But she trusted that Adam did. And even if he didn't, she knew he'd bring her home, he always did. Finally, Adam pulled into the parking lot of a drugstore, unbuckled his seatbelt, and started out of the car.
"Lock the doors, kay? I'll be right back," he said. As he was getting out of the car, Joan grabbed his wrist.
"Why are you doing this, Adam?" she asked, holding his eyes to hers.
Adam looked at her compassionately, and kissed her hand.
"Because you're scared," he said. He offered her a slight smile, and then jogged into the drugstore.
Joan leaned back against the seat, and closed her eyes, letting everything sink in deeper. She could be pregnant with Adam Rove's baby -- for real this time. God, how was she going to tell her parents? They would positively, absolutely, totally freak. They'd flipped when they'd mistakenly suspected that she could've mothered the baby that cheerleader dumped in the garbage last year. What would her father, Kevin even, do to poor Adam? Her head began to pound in rhythm with her erratic heart. Jeez, why wasn't God ever around when she had a few questions of her own?
Suddenly, a tapping on the window glass made Joan jump slightly. She looked out the window, and saw Him, in his Cute Boy guise, looking in at her tenderly. He motioned for her to roll the window down, and of course, she complied. When God told you to roll down the window, you did it. In fact, Joan was fairly certain it was in the Ten Commandments. Right after having a yard sale and inviting the school psychopath to the winter semiformal.
"Don't you think you're jumping to conclusions here, Joan?" He asked, smirking.
Joan looked around suspiciously, as she still felt the need to do.
"What are You doing here?" she whispered loudly.
"You know, just because we're not face to face doesn't mean you can't talk to me. I'm always listening, and I'm always with you," God assured her.
"Always?" Joan asked, letting her mind wander to places she was sure neither of them prefer it be.
"Yep."
"You mean, you were there when Adam and I-" she stammered in mortification.
God nodded.
"Weird," Joan said, shuddering.
"You think it was weird for you?" God asked.
"Let's say we're even, okay? But you still haven't answered my question," Joan continued.
"You haven't answered mine," God replied. "I asked if you if you thought you were jumping to conclusions."
"You said my actions would have consequences," Joan insisted urgently.
"And they will. So you automatically assume that you're pregnant?" God asked, sounding almost amused.
"Are you saying I'm not?!" Joan demanded, sighing with relief.
"No," God said.
"So you're saying I am?!" Joan squealed.
"No," God said again. "Hints, Joan. Remember the big picture?"
Joan nodded, not wanting to go there.
"But what is the hint here? About my 'consequences'? Am I missing it, or something? And is this some kind of mission? Because you haven't given me one since the time you told me to read The Bell Jar backwards.about which, I didn't question you, I might add!" Joan pouted.
God smiled, and shook His head slightly.
"Joan, I realize that you've done well taking on the missions I give you. But let us not forget that you've also disobeyed me. Now, that's been forgiven, but remember ripples? You'll be seeing your ripples soon. Just keep your eyes open," God said cryptically.
Joan was beginning to wonder where Adam was.
"Do you always have to look like this when Adam is around? I mean, really."
"He's a great guy, Joan....it's not everyday you find one willing to go to the drugstore and buy you a pregnancy test," God pointed out.
Joan winced at the mention of the p-word, not to mention the fact that she was discussing it with God, who happened to be pretty hot at the moment. But at the same time, He was right. Adam was... phenomenal.
"Did...did I ever thank you for him?" she asked quietly.
God smiled warmly, and reached His hand through the window, and squeezed Joan's hand.
"Yes, Joan, in many ways."
With that, He turned and started walking across the darkened parking lot. He paused, and turned around.
"Keep your eyes open, Joan," he called. "Everything will be clear soon."
Joan looked over as Adam unlocked the car door and seated himself behind the steering wheel. He put a small brown paper bag on the seat beside him, and leaned back, sighing. He looked over at Joan, and he leaned over and hugged her reassuringly.
"Don't freak, Jane...it'll be okay....even if, you know, you are," Adam said.
Joan nodded, though for the first time, she didn't believe him.
A/N - Does that make any more sense? And more importantly, what did you think? Should I continue?? Thanks for the feedback! =)