Title: Reflections.

By: Corbin

Rating: G

Summary: During the episode Dragoon Crossing Rowdy has thoughts about the cattle drive in general and about his loyalty to the Boss and his resentment toward John Cord.

Spoilers: YES!! For Incident at Dragoon Crossing! If you haven't seen it, you're missing something good.

Archive: Yes

Major Characters: Rowdy, Favor.

To tell you the truth I have no idea what's going on around here. I know that we're in a bad way. I think that Mr. Favor knows it too, he just doesn't want to admit it to any of us or to himself. The herd's about to start dropping from thirst. We're only a couple days from water by the trail we're driving down now, but it's rough and the cattle and our horses are suffering.

Even the Boss seems to be feeling the effects from the rough terrain. He's been much more liable to snap at the crew over nothing. I've told him how I feel about this trail, I think Pete voiced his opinion too. At least I hope he said something. The Boss'd be more liable to listen if more than one of us protested this bad trail.

I'm praying that he'll see things my way this time, but all I can do is make suggestions and follow his orders. Then again I'm often wrong about the Boss. At times I seem to be able to pick up what he's thinking, then there are the times when I haven't the slightest idea what's gotten into him. This is one of those times.

*****

As far as I'm concerned things have not improved at all. Earlier today some drifter rode up and gave the Boss a tongue whipping about driving the herd through this rough terrain. Mr. Favor just sat there on his horse and took it, like he knew he'd been wrong the whole time. For a second I thought I saw a flicker of doubt in Mr. Favor's eyes when Cord questioned his judgement. Even though I agreed with Cord about not driving through the lava rock I didn't agree with the way he talked to the Boss. If the Boss hadn't of told me to back off, I would've knocked that smug jasper clean off his mount. There are nicer ways of telling someone you don't agree with how they're going about something, especially if you've only just met.

Everybody's worried and they're all starting to wonder what's wrong with the Boss. When the Boss come into camp everybody looked up watching him like he was leading the way to the undertakers, it was so quiet in the camp that I swear I heard Quince's ash falling from his cigarette. I hadn't ever seen the Boss looking so tired, so uncertain about what was going to happen. Wishbone, being the only one the Boss seems to be humbled by at times, took the Boss a bit of coffee. It didn't go very well. Wishbone ended up shouting out what everyone's been thinking for days now.

We're all gonna die in this lousy country.

Mr. Favor didn't say nothing in his own defense. He winced when Wish jerked the coffee mug out of his hand. The Boss kinda looked like he been slapped in the face, but he didn't give me the chance to go over and talk to him. He just slipped into his saddle and set off into the darkness without a word to any of us.

******

At first I was right worried when Mr. Favor didn't come back to the herd in the morning. I thought maybe something had happened to him. Heck, the way he'd been going at things lately I was surprised the man could still walk let alone lead a herd of cattle. Then that jasper Cord had the gumption to ride into camp and started flashing papers and barking orders to the men like he had power over us.

Personally I wanted to punch the lousy so and so right in the mouth and shut 'im up. I ain't never been so close to choosing between leading a mutiny or just up and quitting as I was at that moment. I don't like this fella Cord too much, but then again I suppose the feeling is mutual. I sure hope the Boss comes back before I commit a murder in cold blood.

*****

Well, he's gone and done it now. We're heading straight for Dragoon Crossing and straight into what's gonna be a lousy fight. I made my mind up though I ain't gonna fight for Cord at the river. I would be willing to fight with him though, maybe pound a little humility into his thick skull.

The men are all rolling over for Cord. The crew seems to think that he's the greatest thing since sour mash whiskey. I just don't see what everybody else sees in the man.

*****

I still don't care for the man much, but I don't want to see Cord get smashed in a stampede anymore. Cord helped stop the herd from running themselves over a cliff today, he coulda went right over the edge with 'em. It was a fool thing to do, but a brave thing. I guess I can stand to take orders from somebody I despise.

******

Just when I make up my mind that I am gonna knuckle down and listen to Cord the Boss shows up. I ain't never been so relieved to see anybody in my life. Mr. Favor still looked pretty weathered, but he had his sharpness back, I could tell just by looking at him that he felt a lot better.

Ramrodding ain't the easiest job in the world. Sometimes with a trail boss as stubborn as mine its more like downright torture then a career. I suppose the thing that keeps me here is respect. Sure Mr. Favor does get on me all the time about everything, but most of the time when I look back I can see that I've deserved almost every lecture I've ever gotten. I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't ever rather ramrod for anyone else.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful that Cord came along and helped us through a rough spot. We couldn't have done it without him, but that don't mean I gotta like him. No Sir, the man may have pried my respect from between my teeth, but he ain't gonna make me like him.

The End.