"The Calm Before The…"
Storm paced the halls of the mansion, arms folded. She walked briskly, ignoring the students around her. She had been shutting out most people lately, which wasn't all that odd for her. The woman known as the weather goddess had always kept to herself – shying away from crowds, and seemingly enjoying her moments of solitude. But that was the difference between any other day and THIS one. Or rather, everything had changed since that fateful day at Aikili Lake. The X-Men were in hiatus, per Professor Xavier, until he and Scott could asses the "threat level". Who knows how long that would last. Some of the students had already left the mansion, at least the ones who came from homes with parents who loved them. These kinds of students had been sent to the School for Gifted Youngsters to learn how to better use their mutant abilities. In all honesty, they were the lucky ones. At least those students had families and normalcy to which they could return. The average student at the mansion was a runaway, like Rogue, or a throwaway, like Kurt. *Kurt*, she thought. The man was a complete enigma to her. She couldn't pinpoint when it happened… but since the events at Aikili Lake, or maybe a little before then, she had grown a little attached to him. She thought that maybe she was just compensating and coping for the death of her best friend – which she was, admittedly – but he DID provide a good shoulder to cry on. Scott was too wrapped up in his own grief at first, and now he was seemingly oblivious to it – spending almost all his time in the ready-room or with Professor Xavier. She wondered how he was miraculously dealing with Jean's loss so well.
As she walked by the Professor's office, she saw Logan standing outside the door. She increased her pace at the sight of Logan, trying to get past him as quickly as possible. Though he was not a stranger, she still didn't know the man all that well. He was definitely NOT the man she wanted to talk to at this moment anyhow. As she hastened past him… Logan didn't even look up.
Logan stood at the Xavier's door, pretending to wait for someone… but even Ororo could tell he wasn't. Wolverine was outright spying. For Logan to spy on someone, he didn't have to sneak up and get too close to them. His super-human sense of hearing came in very handy in cases like this. Normally, Logan would've just barged into the office and demanded to know what was going on, but he relented. He needed to know the details and possible ramifications of whatever Professor Xavier and Scott Summers were discussing – in full. Logan hated to be out of the loop, not "in the know", out of control… and lately, Charles Xavier and his trusted first student had been cutting EVERYONE out of the picture. The command structure hadn't changed, Scott was and is the field leader, but since the Aikili Lake mission Xavier only entertained Scott's counsel (in fact, it was Scott's idea to suspend X-Men operations, despite Logan and Ororo's vocal protests). Maybe this was their way of coping with Jean's death.
That was another thing that was bothering Logan. Everyone was having a hard time dealing with Jean's death in their own way… even Logan. But Scott Summers, of all people, seemingly had gotten over it before anyone else in the mansion. He understood that the current atmosphere and situation called for a person with sober judgment… but just a few days ago Scott was a "blubbering mess". Everyone else was still deeply affected by the loss of Jean – each carrying the load of their emotions around like spare baggage.
Rogue had almost completely withdrawn into Bobby Drake for emotional support – not that Bobby was complaining. Still, you could see that the young man was beginning to feel the strain with that responsibility. Try as he might, he just wasn't equipped to properly counsel Rogue through her emotional malaise (and be expected to deal with his own as well). Bobby was still feeling depressed about his parents no longer wanting him – they might as well have died too. Storm coped by secluding herself, occasionally breaking her solace for quiet talks with the religious blue man, Kurt Wagner. *Maybe she's slipping into depression*, Logan mused, but then quickly dashed that thought. Ororo was always one of the most stable and sensible people in the entire mansion – even she deserved some time to deal with the loss of her longtime friend. But in comparing all the different reactions among the students and teachers to Jean Grey's death, and the global disaster that followed… Scott Summers was clearly the standout. Scott was now THE most levelheaded person in the mansion, promptly getting back his duties crafting multiple strategies for several possible scenarios that could play themselves out in the near future. In fact, Scott Summers' example was actually helping the students get through their own grief, and helped them stay calm through the rioting, the endless anti-mutant media storm, and every new development of the past few days.
The contrast in Scott's demeanor in the hours after Aikili Lake and now just 5 days later was REMARKABLE, to say the least. At first, Scott could hardly think about Jean without losing his composure, but now, once again, the "fearless leader" was back in full swing. What changed? Logan knew that something was going on… and he was sure that these meetings with Professor Xavier had something to do with it. He knew Xavier was grief-counseling him – as, in fact, the telepath was counseling almost everyone else in the mansion – but Scott's turnaround was strikingly swift and staggeringly dramatic.
Logan could hardly hear anything through the doors of the office though – they had surely been insulated (probably a pre-cautionary measure meant to deliberately counter Wolverine's powers – damn Scooter). So Logan pressed his ears against the fine wood grain of the door, and he heard the faintest wisp… of a man crying. It was Scott Summers. Logan could clearly discern that Scott Summers was inside that office crying, likely bawling his eyes out. He estimated that due to the insulation on that door, and the walls, the man inside had to be screaming to the top of his lungs.
Indeed, inside the office, Scott Summers was sitting down in a chair opposite of Charles Xavier in his wheelchair. Cyclops was gripping the armrests of his seat so tightly that the delicate wood had begun to splinter. His teeth were clenched, and his face contorted as waves of pain, guilt, and anguish racked his body. "I can't take this Professor!" he yelled through gritted teeth, "WHY DID SHE DO IT!?!? WHY? We could've saved her… we could've saved ourselves… SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO LEAVE THE JET (to use her powers)!" The man screamed as tears rolled down his already soaked face. The tears fell like small waterfalls from under his visor. Scott wailed out loud repeatedly, and placed his head in his hands. After a few minutes of non-stop screaming, a very sympathetic Charles Xavier wheeled his chair closer to his student.
Placing a hand on Cyclops shoulder as the younger man shuddered, Xavier spoke in slow and soothing tones. "Feel it all", he said, "You have to feel it all in its full capacity. Vent everything you have inside you. But now… It's time for you to regain control… to use your analytical mind to take the lead in your psyche… to rationally understand that Jean is gone, and the one thing she wants you to do… is the hardest thing… to LIVE for her… mourning her… missing her… but LIVING for her…" Scott's crying stopped as quickly as it began. To the untrained eye, one would have thought that Xavier was hypnotizing his prize student… but what was occurring was beyond the perception of our five natural senses. Charles Xavier was treading through the INNER recesses of Scott Summers' convoluted mind. Like a musical conductor, he was taking the separate and inconsonant pieces of Scott's mind and arranging them back into the well-ordered symphony of ideas, thoughts, and stability that they once were. This was no mere counseling technique, it was a step-by-step mental rebuilding.
The ethical concerns regarding this procedure had been set aside. Scott Summers voluntarily asked for this procedure, and, in fact, insisted upon it. He knew Professor Xavier would allow him to vent, be depressed, and carry on like that for as long as he wanted… but Scott also knew that this was no time for the X-Men's field leader to be crippled by his own emotional pain. He knew that the gathering political storm would require him to make a staunch recovery. There was simply no time for emotional indulgences. He overcame Professor Xavier's protests-to-the-contrary, and convinced the man to use his powers to intervene in Scott's grief cycle by accelerating it, and thus let Scott feel the full weight of his grief in a matter of minutes. Full and unbridled anguish, unfettered by the logical, sequential, and rational parts of his mind… he was free to vent all his emotional fury in an exhausting torrent of crying, wailing, and violent exposition. It was like depression on steroids! But Scott needed to do it. The first session had lasted two full hours, but the very next day it was a half hour. Now it only took a few minutes for Scott to gain his composure – aided by Xavier, and he knew that soon he would move beyond grief to acceptance. These sessions also helped Xavier perfect the technique, in case it would have to be used on someone else – perhaps a suicidal person, or a deeply depressed person who was becoming a danger to others.
Logan backed away from door, not knowing why the crying and wailing had so abruptly ceased. His patience had just about ceased as well, but before he could barge into the office… the door abruptly opened. Cyclops was standing in the doorway, tight-lipped as ever, giving Logan an interesting glare. "May I help you, Logan?"
"Yeah, one-eye…", answered Logan, "Let's cut the crap and get right to it… what the hell is going on in there between you and Chuck?" Logan jabbed an angry finger into Scott's chest.
"I don't know what you're…."
"Don't lie to me Cyclops!" Logan's feral eyes flashed with anger… and something more, but not even he knew exactly what it was. Now he gripped the front of Scott's shirt with both fists, pulling him upwards, nearly lifting Cyclops off the ground. "I heard you wailin' in there like the end of the world… then all of a sudden NOTHIN'! What the hell are you and Chuck up to?"
"Let. Go. Of. Me." Scott spoke in an even tone, but every word dripped from his lips, and red flashes from behind his visor accentuated every syllable. An eerie glow began to build behind his ruby-quartz lenses. At first it was soft, and pulsating, but soon it began to grow in intensity.
"Logan, drop him… now… or I'll simply make you" ordered Professor Xavier. After another second, Logan complied, releasing Scott – who landed with a soft thud. "Come in both of you, and have a seat." The two men entered the room and sat at opposite sides of Xavier's desk. Xavier wheeled himself around as if to situate himself between them, but then he abruptly kept moving until he was out of the office.
"Professor, where are you going?" asked Scott.
"You gentlemen need to talk about this on your own, without an audience."
"Aren't you afraid I'll loose control and kill him?" Logan said, pointing to Scott and sneering.
"Logan, you'll do no such thing… and the two of you NEED to talk. You will undoubtedly find out you have more in common than you care to imagine." With that, the Professor was promptly gone from his office, closing the door tightly shut, and leaving behind a very silent un-dynamic duo.
After three minutes of deafening silence… "You first."
"You have SUCH a way with words, Logan…"
"Just shut-up and get to the part where you and 'Wheels' act like you're better than the rest of us!" Logan spat. "Everyday we watch the damn television… hear the Prez or one of his flunkies make speeches in the UN, or CNN, or some other bullshit… and all you and Chuck do is talk about it WITHOUT the rest of us! Dammit!" Logan slammed his fist on the exquisitely decorated oaken desk, " we deserve to know what the hell you guys are gonna do about it!"
"Logan, when we have a proper course of action… we'll let the team know. If you need to know NOW, we're just waiting and seeing if we have to evac this place. You want full details? I can show you in the ready-room."
"Is that why you're bawlin' like a little girl?" Logan gritted his teeth. Scott just stared at the floor, in silent concentration. "Don't you do this, One-Eye! Answer me… why are you all Mr. Cool… while the rest of us are tearin' our hearts out?!?!"
"Logan, I…"
"You know… I always wondered why she chose you… You were such a tight-ass…" Logan clenched his fists so tight that you see the points of his sheathed claws almost poking through the skin between his knuckles. Scott would've interrupted, but the sight in front of him floored him. The Wolverine, the most dangerous man in the mansion, the man with no fear… or at least no manners… was getting a little teary-eyed, with lips quivering as he spoke. The gruff man's voice almost broke as he continued his monologue. "You ain't even losing sleep are ya? Are ya?" he yelled.
Scott didn't reply. He would let the man have his peace.
"Well, you know what? I can't sleep. Dammit, I can't sleep at all. Every stinking night I get as much booze into me as I can and try to forget." Logan wiped his face. "You know how much a man like me has to drink to catch a buzz, let alone get freakin' drunk?" Scott mulled that over in his mind, but let Logan continue without saying a word. "Everybody misses her One-Eye. Jeanie's gone and everybody misses her." Now Logan actually allowed a small tear to come out of his eye. Scott may never let him live this down, but he didn't care anymore. Without alcohol to deaden the pain, it overtook him, causing his voice to stammer as he tried to talk. "You know what eats me up, Bub? It's that I'm not good enough?"
"What?"
"I'm not good enough. You were right Cyclops. Jean chose you. I never had a real chance… because when it all boils down to it – I'm not worth the time. Jean's gone, and this place is a wreck… If you or Chuck, or anybody else was gone it'd be the same… but me? I'm worthless. I'm a homeless bum with a bunch o' knives in his arms. I leave for six months and the one kid who actually liked me found a boyfriend". He chuckled bitterly. "I'm a dangerous freak - That's why Jeannie didn't…"
"Not true at all." Scott said. Logan was about to start up again, but Scott cut him off, "Shut up Logan!" The Wolverine wasn't expecting that. In fact, he was so emotionally spent from his little tirade that he really didn't have it in him to respond to Scott's sudden burst of fury. "Logan, you don't know what the hell you're talking about!"
"Then ma.."
"I said SHUT UP!" This time it was Scott who pounded his fist on the desk. He shook his head until the glow from behind his read spectacles subsided. Taking in a deep, measured breath, he continued, "Logan, I'm sorry if I'm not falling apart like the rest of the team, or the school, or you… but don't you EVER think that I'm EVER going to get over Jean. You want to know what me and 'Chuck' are doing everyday?" The volume of his voice was beginning to rise steadily. "I cry. I claw my guts out, and then I cry some more. And then I tear this office apart and try to kill myself so I can be with her! But then… the Professor shuts it off – turns my tears, my anger… into something else. I still feel the loss, but I can accept it long enough to be the leader right now. The team… this school… needs me to be 'Cyclops'. I have to help the others, and get them through their pain, because we're going to need each other now more than ever. The Professor won't do for them what he's doing for me!" Scott let out a deep breath, feeling his composure returning.
"Why not? We need to get over this too? How come you rate and I… I mean… WE don't?"
"Because I'm feeling something beyond natural pain. It doesn't help that she's up here", he said pointing to his head.
"Yeah, I think about Jeanie too…"
"No Logan", Scott said, "It's not that I think ABOUT her… It's that she's in here thinking WITH me!"
Logan's jaw dropped open at the statement. "What are ya talkin' about?"
"When Jean died…", he paused, "Right before Jean died, after the waters had already hit her… she gave me a last gift." His voice trailed, and he had to steady himself. It helped him to see the look on Logan's face when he met his gaze. Gone was the contempt that Logan usually reserved for him – and in its place was a look of real, unmistakable, rapt attention. "She sent me everything that was inside her… her memories, her thoughts, some of her personality… it was too much Logan. I couldn't stop thinking about her… with her… through her… Do you know that I lapsed into a coma the day after we came back from Aikili Lake?"
"What? When?"
"It was the next morning. I just didn't want to wake up. I wanted to stay inside my mind, with Jean. The Professor burst into my room when I didn't respond and he forced me out of it. I've never seen him like that, Logan. He was actually crying."
Logan chuckled a bit, "I can't picture Chuck crying."
"He can cry Logan, believe me… He doesn't lose it, but he can cry. And he was holding my hand tight, and telling me that he wasn't about to lose BOTH his children on the same day. That's why he's willing to try these sessions with me. I'm dealing with an unnatural level of pain… especially for a non-telepath."
"Hmmm… Chuck really cares about you doesn't he?"
"We're family Logan. Not blood related, but since I'm an orphan, he's the only father I've ever known. He doesn't have any natural children, so Jean and I were kind of like… surrogates."
"Must be nice to have a family…" Logan's eyes had a distant look about them. Scott noticed the man beginning to teeter back into his self-loathing, and so he spoke the words that he knew Logan needed to hear more than any other. Despite how much it hurt him to utter them, Logan needed to know, now more than ever.
"She loved you Logan." Wolverine snapped his head up at the statement. He looked at Cyclops incredulously as the younger man continued. "I have her up here, remember (pointing to his head)? She loved you. Not like she loved me, but let me tell you, you made quite an impression on Jean. She actually wondered what would've happened if she met you BEFORE me."
"That's so?" Logan mulled over the words for a minute, then visibly brightened at the information. "You not making this up are you, kid?"
"Trust me Logan, I take NO pleasure in sharing this. I used to hate you… for shaking my confidence with Jean… but now… I know she wouldn't have EVER left me… and Jean's influence actually makes me LIKE you… somewhat." Scott had to stifle a laugh when he saw the look of sheer terror on Wolverine's face.
Logan took a step back. "Whoa there… I ain't gettin' into… I mean… you ain't gonna… you keep your hands where I can see 'em, Bub!" At this, both men started to laugh – first Scott, who couldn't contain himself, and then Logan. It was good to laugh. Noone was laughing too much at the mansion these days. "Scott (*I'm calling him Scott now?*)…"
"Yeah (*He's calling me Scott now?*)"
"You think Chuck would consider that mind stuff on me… at least… so I don't drink so much… you know… cuz of Jean?"
"Yes Logan", I think the Professor would be ok with it, since it's your choice to do it."
The two men spent most of the day talking and spending time together. They even jogged around the mansion grounds, and then broke into a full blown race - their competitiveness getting the better of them. The students, and other team members, were surprised at dinner when the two of them walked into the dining hall and sat down at the same table – friendly conservation being exchanged the entire time. Professor Xavier was more than pleased with the tenor of this budding friendship. His calculations were correct, that Jean's loss and absence would actually work to bring them closer since they both shared Jean's heart. This would only be for the good – since the team needed to be even MORE cohesive now that they may be facing a government sponsored backlash. So far the authorities had only given speeches and 'reassurances', but the vagueness that laced every well-crafted sentence in those press conferences was downright suspicious. The real story lied in the fact that whole regions of the country were beginning to be psychically "shut off" from him. At first, it was the immediate area and Washington DC, but then it was the entire State, then the whole northeast region. He soon found it impossible to communicate with a few other telepathic mutants who resided around the country. The real worry came from Cerebro. Not only could he not use it, but he stopped trying to use it altogether when he began to feel as if something was actually TRACKING HIM as he wore the helmet. Whatever was truly going on, no amount of politically correct platitudes would convince him that all was well – or that all the government efforts were purely defensive.
He noticed some students call some others out of the dining hall and into the main rec area, where the largest television sets were. Soon, he noticed other students leaving their dinners and heading over there as well. When his X-Men began to join them, he quickly left his dinner and followed the multitudes. He made his way out of the dining hall, past hastily strewn plates and cutlery. He made his way down the immaculately decorated passageway, recently restored since the attacks a few days back. He stopped at the packed-out rec room, and noticed the disheveled looks on most of the students' faces. "What is going on here?"
"Look at the news, Professor", said a stunned Ororo, pointing at the TV screen. It was turned to FoxNews, a cable channel that was displaying burning buildings surrounded by soldiers. Under the picture, was a caption that read "FIRST STRIKE." The students fell into a hushed silence as the "on the scene" broadcaster reiterated his monotonous report.
"We are live at the scene of what use to be the head-quarters of O.P.R.A. Industries. As you can see behind me, there isn't much left of the structure… the entire building looks like it was gutted from the inside out. The details of what happened are still unclear, but obviously something big went down here.""Bob", said the news anchor, "Has anyone given you any details at all?"
"No they haven't. Everyone here is telling me that mum's the word. They won't even let us get any closer than this makeshift perimeter, but you can see the billowing smoke behind me… where the buildings of this technology company once stood and…"
"Wait Bob", interrupted the news anchor, "We have to cut you off and go to the White-House press room where Defense Secretary Ronald Dryer is about to make a statement regarding the compound. Let's tune in…"
The scene broadcast was a now familiar one. Huddled reporters were crowded into the White-Hose press room, where behind an adorned podium stood the stoic visage of the Secretary of Defense, Ronald Dryer. His well-tailored suits, and his civilian garb, couldn't mask the subtle aggressive gaze from the old warrior's spectacled eyes. His ashen gray hair made him look more like a statesman than a war-chief, but the hardness of his features gave away that this man was made for this: a conflict with stakes too high for the faint of heart. Standing next to him was an unidentified man dressed in military attire, along with several other military officers.
"I have been instructed by the President to address you prior to his speech, which he'll make shortly. I'm here to reassure the American people about what has been going on, and let them know what has taken place.
Today, just one hour ago, we have struck a first blow against mutant terrorism. Intelligence reports, and evidence gathered before and after the global psychic-attacks, revealed that a top-level meeting of the secretive Hellfire Club was taking place in the O.P.R.A. Industries compound. De-classified documents will soon show that the head of O.I., a man named Gideon Chase, was actually a member of this mutant terrorist group… funneling money, equipment, and other resources to them for quite some time.
The raid was the first official military action under Operation Avenger. Just as the President has promised, a new anti-terror force, codenamed Captain America, has led the fight against mutant terror. These sentinels of freedom have struck at the heart of one of the most villainous and murderous mutant terror groups on the planet – taking down four of its highest-level members. In fact, intelligence revealed that this meeting was being attended by THE top leaders of this worldwide organization. And we have good news. The official leadership of the Hellfire Club is believed to have perished during this raid: they included Sebastian Shaw, chief executive officer and principal shareholder in Shaw Industries, Inc… Gideon Chase, the head of O.I… Emma Grace Frost, a top administrator in the prestigious Massachusetts Academy… and at least one other top-level lieutenant in the organization, identified in intelligence reports only as 'Black Rook', his rank within the Hellfire Club. The raid also has provided us with a treasure trove of information as to the workings of the inner circle of this group, and more raids are being planned at this very moment.
I'll turn over the podium to General Thaddeus Ross, who will brief you on the details of tonight's raid… General Ross?"
As the General droned on about what happened when, in purely sanitized and prepared statements, Professor Xavier issued a mental command to his X-Men: Meet him in the Ready-Room immediately. The X-Men, and their leader, excused themselves from the rec area, which was now over-flowing with students. They were careful not to show their overwhelming concern in front of the students. Nightcrawler, who wasn't officially a member of the team, was also asked to attend the meeting. He just looked nervously, eyes darting from left to right, and then disappeared with a strange 'puff' of smoke, leaving behind the customary scent of sulphur and brimstone. The rest of the students looked on at the news report, shocked beyond words. They knew that if the X-Men had been called away, this must have meant danger. Piotr Rasputin, the mutant known as Colossus, gathered some of the younger ones to himself. He had become a hero in the eyes of many, helping the kids survive during those couple of days that the kids had to live in the grounds outside the mansion – for fear of returning. Colossus was almost an X-Man already, and Cyclops had told him that his membership application may have to be unduly accelerated. Piotr was about reassure the kids that there was probably nothing wrong, when his mind was filled with Xavier's mental voice. "We need you as well, Mr. Rasputin." He got up and looked at young Sam Guthrie, nodding to him as if telling him to 'hold the fort', and walked out the rec room. Whatever it was, he knew that reassuring the other students was now out-the-window.
"I left Russia for this?" he said to himself, as he boarded the elevator, which would take him to the X-Men's ready room.
Author's Note: I am looking for beta-readers for this story outline – especially the 'shipper' stuff. It's going to be about 8-10 chapters, and I'm consuming too much time proof-reading it myself. Prefer authors or avid readers of X-Men fics. Email if interested.