Disclaimer. Me not own them. They are Tolkien's children. I am only borrowing.

A/N: Sorry I posted later than I had promised. I was not satisfied with this chap and I tried to improve it but I am having a slight writer's block. Hope it's still satisfactory. I hate the beginning though. Sorry about that. Then there's the flashback thingy again. Hope it's better. Or at the very least NOT worse.

How could he hope to compete?

He couldn't. Haldir knew. But still, maybe, just maybe…

But then he was reminded again. Haldir wished he had not gotten out of bed that night when he did. He wished he had not followed Glorfindel. Because then, he would not have known, and he'd still have his dreams.

Ignorance is bliss. The truth hurts. The truth can kill.

How that one night so long ago changed him.

 Even as the March Warden of Lothlorien remembered that time, another was doing the same. As Glorfindel rode closer to Lothlorien, he felt his heart feel a gladness he would not admit. Why would he be glad? He had no reason to. At least, no reason that he was willing to accept.

/There is only one. Forever./

Glorfindel closed his eyes and remembered. It was the last time he had ever cried for him. That night…

Glorfindel rolled off Haldir. He closed his eyes as he waited for their breathing to become normal again. He felt Haldir move closer beside him, the March Warden's hands wrapping themselves around his waist. The elf lord smiled. He had noticed Haldir's habit of cuddling whenever they finished. He did not mind. He enjoyed it, really. He wasn't comfortable at first. The move was one of possession, of binding, of…love. Glorfindel shook himself. No. The gesture had nothing to do with that. Not between him and Haldir anyway.

He sighed and gathered the younger elf closer to him too. Over the years, he had gotten used to it and even returned the embrace. But everytime, he had to remind himself it was not a gesture of love. There was no love between them. There couldn't be. He would not allow it. Love…hurt.

Glorfindel closed his eyes and went to sleep. Normally, he wouldn't, but he wanted to close out the world. It reminded him too much of things that pained him.

Haldir smiled when he felt his lover gather him close.

He was in Rivendell to bring a message to Lord Elrond from the Lady. He was staying for only a few days. It had been a few months since he and Glorfindel last saw each other. He missed the older elf dearly.

As usual, he spent his nights in Glorfindel's rooms. Elrond stopped raising his brows about it five years ago, while Elladan and Elrohir have yet to stop teasing him.

Haldir smiled again. He fell asleep listening to Glorfindel's heartbeat.

Glorfindel awoke with a start, his breathing hard.

"Ecthelion…" he whispered. But his love was nowhere. Glorfindel looked at the sleeping figure beside him.

Haldir.

Glorfindel closed his eyes. It had been a dream. Just another dream. As always.

He breathed in deeply. Quietly, he disentangled himself from the Lorien elf and rose from the bed. Donning on his breeches, he went outside, into the dead of the night.

Once outside, Glorfindel leaned against a tree. It was only then that he let all his feelings out.

Ecthelion.

In his dreams, they were still together. Happy. In love.

Alive.

"I miss you, my love." he whispered. "I miss you so much."

Glorfindel sank to his knees as unbearable pain racked his body.

Ecthelion had been his lover in his previous life. Glorfindel loved him with all his heart, more than his life. They were inseparable. And their love for each other was stronger than any evil that threatened Middle Earth during that time. It was a subject of legends, a love so true it was worth singing for. Only death could have separated them. And it did.

Glorfindel closed his eyes in agony as the memory of his lover's death assailed him. He had been there. They were fighting side by side, as they often did. Glorfindel felt himself tiring. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that he would not win. But he did not expect Ecthelion to lose.

He had seen Ecthelion fall with the Balrog. He remembered screaming his lover's name. It was only a few seconds before his own death, but it was embedded in his mind forever. The grief brought by the memory nearly killed him when it returned to him in his present life. It took the comfort and counseling of Lady Galadriel, Lord Elrond, and other friends to get him through. In the end, he managed to overcome his heartache.

But still…he could not let Ecthelion go.

That was why he didn't have lovers for a long time. He was never fiercely attracted to anyone, and Ecthelion still held his heart. Oh there were a few elves he was slightly interested in. But they were insignificant. Glorfindel had been satisfied with his life.

Until Haldir.

Haldir. Glorfindel sighed. Their relationship had been going on for seven years.

The March Warden intrigued him like no one ever had. Not even Ecthelion. He had desired the younger elf ever since their first meeting. And though he knew it might cause problems, Glorfindel decided to pursue the other elf. But he was not foolish enough to fancy himself in love. He knew he wasn't.

Glorfindel smiled despite himself. Actually, when he thought about it, it was more the fact that he was not in love with the younger elf that he allowed himself to go after Haldir. Because the March Warden was the perfect lover. Glorfindel was not at risk of falling in love, and the March Warden was hardly a foolish elfling who would mistakenly equate lust with love. And that was all they have. Lust. It was all that the eldar needed, and wanted from anyone. Because Glorfindel could not allow himself to love again. Not when he was still in love.

"Ecthelion…" Glorfindel whispered. "I love you. Still. Always. Forever."

"Forever…" Haldir closed his eyes, but a solitary tear managed to escape. He had woken when he felt Glorfindel leave the bed. He had decided to follow the eldar, intending to offer comfort. But then he heard it.

"Ecthelion…" Haldir stood frozen where he was, a few feet away, hidden by a tree next to where Glorfindel was.

He had often wondered why Glorfindel couldn't love him back. At first he thought there was something wrong with him. Why would an elf lord fall for a March Warden? But now he knew. It was more than that.

Haldir slipped back to the room. /How can I compete with a memory? And of a love that obviously defies even death?/

It hurt. Haldir had to gather all his will to keep himself from sobbing. He hugged a pillow tightly, trying to find comfort in its softness.

He felt the bed sag as Glorfindel came back to the bed. Haldir willed his breathing to be even. He pretended to have just woken up. He turned to face his lover.

"Where did you go?" he asked the older elf, forcing a smile.

"Nowhere." Glorfindel whispered. He gathered Haldir close, embracing him tightly. He tucked the younger elf's head under his chin. "Go back to sleep."

Haldir closed his eyes. He did not hug Glorfindel back. He couldn't. It hurt him, knowing that though it was he that the eldar was holding, it was another he was thinking of.

Both elves only pretended to sleep that night. They were hurting, one of love lost, and the other of love that was never found.

/I should have expected this/ Haldir thought. / I am not stupid. I know you will never love me./ Haldir closed his eyes tightly, trying to stop the tears from spilling.

/It's just that there is still a small part of me that hopes that someday, you will feel something for me./

/Something./

/Anything./

TBC

A/N THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO REVIEWED. PLEASE CONTINUE. NEXT POLL: AM I GOING FOR BETTER OR WORSE? Hehe.