Disclaimer: Tolkien's.
A/N: So, so, so sorry for the long delay. My bro went to japan and took my laptop with him and I had the chapters stored here and I forgot to copy them so I had to wait till he got back. Oh well. Here goes nothing. Hope u forgive me. This is an extra long chappie. The next one is also finished but I'm still deciding what to do. Okay? Please review. Thank you.
Glorfindel watched Haldir converse with Rumil and Orophin, reassuring them that he was alright. The March Warden was on the bed in a reclining position, his back resting on the headboard. His brothers sat beside him. The eldar stood near the door, a little far from the bed, giving the brothers privacy, yet not having to leave the room. As he looked at his lover, Glorfindel looked back on the past events, ever since he was assured that his lover was well. Haldir was out of danger. That was for sure. The younger elf had grown stronger everyday, and it was clear that any effects of the attack had begun to fade, both physically and mentally. Yet something was wrong. Ever since Haldir regained consciousness, he had acted…distant somehow, save for the time when he had asked the eldar to hold him that day. After that, the younger elf seemed uneasy around him. It was not that Haldir cringed from him. It was more the fact that the March Warden's actions were different from what the seneschal was used to whenever they were together. Usually, Haldir liked to caress his face, or hold his hand, or run fingers through the eldar's hair. But now, even when they were alone, Haldir did none of those things. Glorfindel missed those small gestures. He never noticed them before, but now that Haldir ceased doing them, the eldar felt he had lost something. He wanted it back. But he did not know why Haldir changed. Perhaps it was something he had done? Or maybe the orc attack still lingered in the younger elf's mind? But Glorfindel could not see how the attack could have caused the change.
Glorfindel sighed. His head ached from all the thinking. He had spent most of the past days worrying whether Haldir would recover or not. Now he spent them thinking of possible reasons why Haldir's attitude towards him suddenly changed.
/Maybe he is tired of me?/
Glorfindel froze at the thought. He felt a sudden pain in the region where his heart was. He looked at his lover, who was still conversing with his brothers.
/Could it be? Has the experience made him realize something…that what we have is…not worthkeeping? Empty?/ For some reason, the eldar hurt at the thought. Glorfindel shook his head, trying to clear his mind.
/I am overreacting./
He looked at Haldir again.
/Bt what if I am right? What if he is trying to find a good way to tell me that he wants to end our relationship?/
Glorfindel swallowed. He steeled himself against the pain he was feeling.
/Then I will let him go./
It was the only thing he could do.
/I have to./
He cannot hold the March Warden back if the other wanted to leave.
/This was inevitable. It was a long time coming. A relationship based on lust cannot last./
/So why can't I imagine letting him go?/
"You wear your heart on your sleeve, do you know that?" A voice near his ear whispered and he nearly jumped. Lost in his thoughts, Glorfindel did not hear Erestor creep up behind him. He looked at his friend and tried to salvage his composure, which was shaken at him being caught off-guard. He slipped his unemotional mask back into place, but it was too late. And knowing Erestor, it was far too late. But still…
"Erestor. I should have known."
His friend grinned. "I see you are still in denial. Glorfindel, what will it take to wake you up? A hit in the head maybe?"
The blond eldar rolled his eyes. "I do not know what you mean, mellon nin."
"Of course you don't. The same way you do not love our dear March Warden of Lothlorien." Erestor whispered to him before moving closer to the bed to check on his friend's love.
Haldir could feel Glorfindel's eyes watching him as he spoke to his brothers. His heart warmed that the eldar cared so much to stay, but he stopped the growing feelings. After he had woken up from his nightmare, he had asked Glorfindel to hold him when he slept again. He had another nightmare, similar to the first one, with Glorfindel reminding him over and over that the eldar would never love him. After the second nightmare, Haldir had distanced himself from his lover. Maybe it was a sign from the Valar that what they had was wrong, and that he really would never feel what it was like to be loved by the beautiful seneschal. It pained him, but he put some distance between them. This way, should his dreams come true, he would not be hurt too badly.
Haldir swallowed a bitter laugh that rose from inside him. Not be hurt? Too late for that. He knew the moment Glorfindel would tell him to leave, he would die of grief.
"Haldir? Are you listening?" Rumil had a worried look on his face at his injured brother's pained expression.
"What hurts, Haldir? Do you want us to call Lord Elrond?" Orophin asked, equally worried.
Haldir shook his head.
"I am fine. It was just a bad memory."
Orophin looked at him with an unreadable expression in his eyes.
"Maybe we are tiring you." Rumil said.
"No. I have been resting for far too long. Don't leave. I need people to talk to or else I would go mad." Haldir reassured his brother.
"Are you sure?" his youngest brother asked again.
"Quite sure. Stop worrying, Rumil. I am fine." Even as he said it, he could not meet Orophin's gaze. His older brother knew something else was wrong. But he said nothing.
Haldir looked up as Erestor came near the bed. He had seen the adviser whispering something to Glorfindel before coming close. Whatever it was, it seemed to have upset Glorfindel.
Haldir was not jealous of Erestor and Glorfindel's closeness. He knew they were great friends. But he could not help but wonder what Erestor had said to upset the seneschal. Yet he could not ask.
"Ah, Haldir. How do you fare?" the adviser asked him.
"I feel fine, my lord. I wish to express my gratitude to Lord Elrond for helping me…"
Erestor waved his hand, as if dismissing Haldir's words.
"Your brothers have thanked him enough. I believe if he hears another word of gratitude he is going to go up the wall."
Rumil and Orophin grinned. They had been thanking the lord too much. Everytime they see him, they would profusely express their gratitude. They also began to do him favors even when he did not ask. They had helped patrol the borders. They also volunteered to fix his office. They also helped in making more arrows and several other weapons. Lord Elrond had insisted that there was no need, but they continued to do small things. Not to mention their constant thanking of the Lord of Imladris. They had to admit it was beginning to become annoying.
Haldir looked at his brothers' smiling faces. He sighed. His brothers even managed to annoy the Lord of Imladris.
"I see. But I still need to thank him personally. Even just once."
"Of course." Erestor agreed. "But not now. You still need to rest for one or two more days."
Haldir stifled a groan. He was still confined, and it was beginning to suffocate him.
Erestor smiled as he saw Haldir's reaction.
"You can take a walk in the gardens if you wish. Rest does not mean staying in bed. It just means no work..." He reassured the March Warden.
Glorfindel came nearer, having calmed his thoughts after his friend's teasing. Erestor turned to glance at the approaching blond, then continued addressing Haldir.
"…and certain kinds of play." The adviser added with a wicked grin. Rumil and Orophin tried not to laugh. Glorfindel forced himself not to throttle Erestor. Haldir tried not to blush.
"Maybe we could assist you to the gardens after lunch." Orophin offered after the silence that followed Erestor's teasing. Haldir needed fresh air.
Haldir breathed in the air. He sighed. It felt good to finally get out of his rooms. He had eaten his lunch in a hurry so that he could come to the gardens. His brothers had promised to accompany him. But it was not Orophin and Rumil who brought him there. It was Glorfindel. He wanted to protest when the eldar offered, but Glorfindel gave him a strange look, one that seemed pained, and Haldir's refusal got stuck in his throat.
Now, they were alone, sitting on the grass under a tall beech tree. Neither had said anything since they got to the gardens. The silence was unnerving the March Warden. He and Glorfindel were never this quiet. It was an uncomfortable silence. The air was tense.
"Haldir, do you wish to leave me?" Glorfindel asked in a tone so soft the younger elf almost didn't hear it. Haldir turned to look at his lover, shock clear on his face. Glorfindel's face, on the other hand, was devoid of emotion. Haldir stared at the eldar's eyes. They were cold. The March Warden swallowed a lump that prevented him from speaking.
"What?"
"I am asking if you wish to leave me." Glorfindel found it difficult to speak. He was dreading his lover's answer. As soon as the question was out of his mouth, he wished he never spoke them. He was not sure if he was ready to accept if Haldir answered in the affirmative.
When he saw the shock on Haldir's face, he felt an unexpected surge of happiness. Maybe his lover would not leave him after all.
"What makes you say that? Or is that your way of telling me you wish to end our relationship?" Haldir bit back the sudden tears that pricked the back of his eyes.
Glorfindel almost smiled with relief. But he saw the pain in his lover's eyes. He moved closer to the March Warden and cupped the other's face.
"I do not want this to end."
"Then why…"
Glorfindel silenced Haldir with a kiss. Then he broke it so he could explain.
"You just seemed so distant. I thought that maybe after your ordeal, you realized that you no longer wanted this." Glorfindel did not remove his hand from Haldir's cheeks.
"I still want this."
/I want this forever. And more./
Haldir finally met his lover's gaze. He reached up to tuck a lock of golden hair behind the eldar's ear.
"Then why have you been so far away?" Glorfindel made sure his voice did not betray the pain he felt at the other elf's previous actions.
Haldir took a deep breath and pulled away. How could he explain?
"Haldir?" Glorfindel would not let the younger elf push him away. "What is wrong?"
"It's nothing." The March Warden replied, still trying to pull away. The eldar gathered the other in his arms, pulling them close to each other. He was not going to let Haldir go.
"Tell me."
Haldir hesitated, wishing Glorfindel would leave this alone. But he knew the older elf would not stop asking until he gave in.
"It's just a silly dream." He tried to keep the pain from his voice, but he was not completely successful.
The eldar frowned as he heard the hurt in his lover's voice.
"The orcs?" But that did not make sense.
"No. It's something more…personal." Haldir closed his eyes. He did not know if he would be able to tell his lover about his dreams.
"What do you mean?"
"I've been having dreams where…well…I know it's not real. You would never…it just…It felt…" The March Warden was having a difficult time getting it out.
Glorfindel took hold of his lover's chin, forcing their eyes to meet. He was worried. What did Haldir dream about? It was something about them. What would make the younger elf distance himself?
"I would never what? Haldir, please."
Haldir closed his eyes, shocked when he felt tears forming.
"Haldir" he heard Glorfindel whisper. He took a deep breath.
"In the dream, we make love. And when we finish, I'd hold you. Then everything would change. And you…you'd…f-force yourself on me. And it hurt…And then you…you'd…call me a …a…wh-whore while you…took me." Haldir bowed his head, not wanting to see the expression on his lover's face. He was not sure how the eldar would take this.
Glorfindel could not move, could not speak. He stared at Haldir in disbelief.
"I know you would never do that, Glorfindel. It's just, sometimes it feels real. Even after I've woken up, I still feel the pain. That's why I stayed away. I..I did not know how to face you."
"I…I don't know what to say." The eldar whispered.
"You don't have to say anything. It's not really your fault I have those dreams." The younger elf reassured.
But Glorfindel could not help wondering if he really was not at fault. Maybe he had treated his lover badly. Why else would Haldir have such dreams?
"Haldir, do I make you feel like a…a…" He could not say it.
Haldir suddenly looked up. He unconsciously gripped Glorfindel's hands in his.
"No! No, Glorfindel, I don't feel like that. Not at all." He even shook his head as if to emphasize.
The eldar sighed his relief.
"Then why?"
"I don't know. Maybe my mind is just confused. Or something. Dreams are not always real."
"I will never think of you like that, Haldir."
"I know."
"I…care for you."
Haldir smiled. Care. Why did that hurt him?
/Because I want something more. But care will probably be the only thing I will get. I will have to get used to it, I suppose. It's better than nothing./
"Don't worry, Glorfindel. I do not think there's anything to my dreams."
/Except maybe the part where you declare your love for Ecthelion./ Haldir pushed the painful thought away. He was with Glorfindel right now. For the moment, that was the only thing that mattered. Haldir knew that someday, this would end. He was going to savor every moment he could, while he still owned, no, still had the eldar with him.
Glorfindel gathered the younger elf closer. He tucked Haldir's head under his chin.
"I am sorry if at any time I have made you feel like that." The eldar still could not believe that his lover had such dreams.
/What am I doing to you?/
Haldir shifted.
"It's alright, Glorfindel. You don't make me feel like that." Silence fell once again. But this time, the tense air was gone.
The younger elf began to play with the laces of the eldar's tunic.
"Glorfindel?" Haldir hesitantly asked.
"Yes?"
Haldir moved a little closer, burying his face against the eldar's chest.
"May I ask you a favor?"
Glorfindel frowned at Haldir's strange behavior. The younger elf was acting…shy?
"Anything."
Haldir closed his eyes. Could he really do this?
"Make love to me." The words were out before the March Warden could change his mind.
Glorfindel felt himself grow erect at his lover's bold request. Haldir buried his face deeper against the eldar's chest, hiding as he blushed a deep shade of crimson.
"Er…I would, but you are not well enough." Glorfindel regretted having to deny the younger elf. They had not seen each other for months and he missed his lover.
Haldir sighed and raised his head. He looked pleadingly at the eldar.
"Please. I have been doing nothing but rest for the past six days. And I…want you badly."
Glorfindel swallowed. His lover's words were affecting his body and he didn't know if he could hold out for long.
"I…you really should just…rest. For now." Even his words sounded strained.
"Please." Haldir decided then and there that he had completely lost his mind. He has nightmares about his lover mistreating him and the first chance he got, he was asking the older elf to make love to him. Mentally healthy elves did not do this. Then again, he was in love. Love equaled madness. This proved it.
"Please."
Glorfindel was finding it more and more difficult to say no.
"We can't. You might get hurt. I do not want that."
Haldir would not accept no. He ran his hands under his lover's tunic.
"Then I will make love to you.'
The eldar sucked in his breath. Haldir's hands were effectively removing all coherent thought from his mind. He tried to stop the wandering hands, but his lover would not be stopped.
Haldir pushed Glorfindel onto his back on the grass. He had to do this before the eldar could say no again. He climbed on top of the older elf.
"Haldir…"
The March Warden silenced his lover with a passionate kiss. Glorfindel moaned. Haldir was determined to make love to the eldar.
He managed to remove Glorfindel's clothes without much resistance from his lover. He smiled smugly, seeing the older elf's blissful expression.
Some logic returned to Glorfindel when Haldir spent a tad too long staring at him He was surprised to find himself completely naked. How had the younger elf manage to remove his clothes without him realizing it? He had never been this out of his mind before. What was Haldir doing to him? The other elf had never done this before.
"Haldir, we can't…your wounds…"
"Shhh." Haldir kissed Glorfindel into mindlessness. He was using everything he had ever learned about lovemaking on his lover. He had never dared to do this before. Now, there was no stopping him.
He straddled the now naked eldar. He rubbed his erection against his lover's. Glorfindel bucked hard at the feeling of Haldir's smooth clothing rubbing at his arousal.
"Haldir…"
Glorfindel's moans were making him harder, and Haldir felt he had too many clothes on. He continued kissing Glorfindel, while at the same time removing his clothes. The eldar's hands came to help him with the task. In mere seconds, skin met skin and both elves sighed as they finally touched the way they wanted to.
Haldir resumed kissing Glorfindel. Still straddling the other elf, he placed both hands on the other's chest. Slowly, he moved his hands and let them roam. Hearing Glorfindel moan, he continued his assault, wanting to pleasure his lover like he had never done before.
He left the eldar's lips to follow the trail of his hands. Glorfindel arched his back, offering himself to Haldir's lips. He caressed Haldir's back and neck. He laid helplessly, begging Haldir to move on. Haldir places soft kisses on the older elf's chest, staying away from the hard nipples.
Glorfindel groaned his disappointment when his lover's lips did not go where his body needed to be kissed most.
"Please…"
Haldir smiled against his lover's chest.
"Haldir, please…"
Only then did he lick at the hard buds. He took one between his teeth and gave a small nip. Glorfindel clutched Haldir's head as the eldar arched his back. Haldir then sucked hard, and the older elf almost came undone. Haldir moved to the other nipple and paid similar homage. Then he began to move lower. Gentle kisses on the eldar's chest, belly, abdomen. He gently dipped his tongue into the other elf's belly button.
"ahh…Haldir…"
He moved to the side, only to part the older elf's thighs. Then he moved to kneel between them. He then kissed the eldar's knees, moving towards where his lover's thighs met. He nipped and kissed the inner thighs, making Glorfindel squirm.
He paused when his lover's arousal was right in front of him. He looked at the delectable part on the eldar's anatomy and felt his own arousal tighten further, almost to the point of pain. Glorfindel moved his hips, trying to get Haldir to do something.
"Haldir, I am begging…you…please. Please…"
Gently, the younger elf cupped his lover's arousal, but only to move it out of the way so he could see the eldar's opening. He bent his head and lapped the entrance. Glorfindel clawed at the grass and his hips moved involuntarily.
Haldir's other hand gripped Glorfindel's hips, trying to still the eldar's movements. Then he continued to probe the opening with his tongue. Glorfindel bit back a scream. Haldir was taking this very slowly and the eldar was on the verge of losing control altogether. He moved to support himself on his elbows, planning to take control of the situation. But Haldir suddenly moved upright and pushed him down.
"I asked you to make love to me. You said no. So now, I am making love to you." Haldir had a determined look on his face. The eldar relented and laid back down. Excitement and anticipation heightened his arousal. The younger elf, satisfied that he had made his point, went back to what he was doing.
Glorfindel almost screamed when his lover entered him with his tongue. Haldir was driving him crazy, his tongue darting in and out. Glorfindel let out a string of elven curses. When Haldir slipped a finger inside him, Glorfindel panted his lover's name. When had the younger elf oiled the finger now buried inside him? Where had the oil come from?
Before Glorfindel could think anymore, another oil-covered finger joined the first. Haldir wiggled his fingers, carefully stretching the older elf. Then he probed deeper, looking for the gland that would surely please his lover. Haldir smiled when Glorfindel let out a scream when his finger brushed the sweet spot. The March Warden's smile turned into a small chuckle at the thought that by now, the entire Rivendell population probably knew what they were doing.
"Ah Gods! Haldir!!!"
His lover's pleas and moans had made him unbearably harder, and Haldir knew he could not hold out much longer. He removed his fingers, and gently poised his arousal at his lover's entrance. Looking deeply into Glorfindel's eyes, Haldir slowly eased his way in. Oh, so very slowly.
Glorfindel's hips moved, trying to take in his lover faster, but Haldir would not let him. The March Warden's hands gripped the eldar's hips, stopping all movement from the other elf.
"Haldir…" the older elf's voice was a mixture of begging and threatening.
Sweat formed on the younger elf's forehead from the control he was exerting. He wanted to bury himself in his lover very badly, but he was going to take this slow.
"Patience, dear Glorfindel." His words came out raspy. His throat was tight.
"Take me, now!! Stop teasing…Haldir please…oh please…" Tears of frustration slid from the eldar's eyes, down the sides of his face. Haldir bent forward, slowly kissing the moisture away. And then, he was buried up to the hilt, deep inside Glorfindel's tight hot channel. A soft sigh escaped both elves.
Haldir closed his eyes. He breathed several times, trying to regain control. Glorfindel was extremely tight, and it was threatening to undo the March Warden.
"You…are not…going…to stop…now" Glorfindel gritted his teeth. He would die, no, he would kill the March Warden if the younger elf stopped right now. He gripped the younger elf's behind, urging the other to move.
"Haldir, for Valar's sake…MOVE!!!" He struggled to get free of his lover's steel grip on his hips, to no avail.
Haldir kissed the eldar passionately. Glorfindel felt the smile on the younger elf's lips. The March Warden was amused at his expense! He was suffering, and the damn Lorien elf was SMILING! Glorfindel made a move to reverse their positions when Haldir suddenly withdrew then slammed back in, the force strong enough to pound Glorfindel onto the ground. Pure pleasure coursed through the eldar's body as the March Warden's cock hit his sweet spot hard, and he could do naught but throw his head back. A strangled moan escaped him even as his legs moved to wrap around Haldir's hips.
Haldir's mind shut down and he gave in to his desire. He pulled back, and then thrust hard. In. Out. In. Out. He thrust with such force Glorfindel felt the ground biting his bare back. But he did not care.
Haldir's thrust were fast and hard. Faster. Harder.
"HALDIR!"
Glorfindel knew he was near. So very near.
So was Haldir.
Faster. Harder.
Haldir's hands on his lover's hips moved to cup the other's buttocks, lifting them, pulling his lover closer to him, burying himself deeper, yet never once breaking his rhythm of hard thrusts.
"AHHH… GODS….HALDIR!!!!" The change in angle caused Haldir to hit his lover's sweet spot harder, sending bolts of indescribable pleasure to Glorfindel.
Emotions spiraled out of control. Haldir continued his thrusts. Glorfindel writhed and clawed at Haldir's back. His hips moved to meet his lover's as Haldir slammed into him.
Then stars exploded and Glorfindel came, his orgasm tearing an ear-splitting scream from his throat, and Haldir followed his lover to heaven, Glorfindel's name also on his lips as he filled the eldar with his seed.
The force of their orgasms left them breathless and unable to move. It took a while before their breathing returned to normal.
Haldir remained draped over his lover's body, his cock still inside Glorfindel. Sweat covered the bodies of both elves.
"Haldir?" Glorfindel called when he could finally speak. His throat felt raw and his voice was slightly hoarse. The scream. Glorfindel smiled. He had never screamed like that before. Ever.
"Hmmm?"
"Are you alright?" The eldar was concerned about the other elf's injuries.
Haldir could feel the wound on his thigh throbbing from the exertion. The ones on his chest and shoulder did not hurt as much, but they still ached.
He had never felt better in his life.
"I am fine." He replied. He still made no move to get off his lover. "Do you want me to get…out?" Haldir smiled. He remembered the first time they had been together. It was Glorfindel who had asked him that question. When had he ever been this brazen?
Glorfindel thought about it. He liked Haldir where he was. And the younger elf was not heavy. And he liked THAT, where it was, too. Especially that.
"No. Stay."
Glorfindel reached for his robe, which he had been wearing over his clothes earlier, discarded carelessly beside them, and draped it over their naked bodies. Then he began to surrender to the call of sleep.
"I thought I said you were to rest, March Warden."
Haldir and Glorfindel stiffened at hearing the voice. Both turned their heads to look at the intruder.
Intruders.
Standing behind Erestor were the twins, Lord Elrond, Rumil, and Orophin.
Glorfindel did not know what to do. He and Haldir were in a very sensitive position. Perhaps he should have asked Haldir to move beside him, instead of letting him stay where he was.
Haldir would have moved to a less embarrassing position, but he could not. He was exhausted. He could not move even if his life depended on it. So he stayed.
"Glorfindel, you should have known better. Haldir is injured." Lord Elrond added. Elladan and Elrohir looked like they were about to burst with laughter. Orophin looked amused. Rumil was between amused and shocked. Seeing his brother lying between the legs of the legendary Glorfindel of Gondolin was something that would shock anyone.
Glorfindel glared at them. They were enjoying this! And knowing his little "family", they would never let him forget.
"Please do not be angry with Glorfindel, my lord. It was my idea. I…forced him to do this." Haldir's face was red from embarrassment.
Glorfindel looked at the March Warden and raised a brow at his lover's words. Haldir had seduced him, but he had more than willingly participated. He opened his mouth to dispute the younger elves words, but it was not necessary.
"Oh, I don't know, Haldir. I think "force" is not the right word. From what we've heard, Glorfindel rather…enjoyed the activity." Erestor teased, yet able to say the words with a straight face. Glorfindel turned red, if not redder, and sent the adviser looks that could kill.
"Yes. He should have exerted more…control. From what we have…heard, no ounce of control was exerted from his part." Lord Elrond included. At that, as if on cue, the Haldir's brothers and the twins burst into helpless laughter. Erestor and Lord Elrond, however, ignored them and kept their attention on the two red-faced naked elves.
"I trust you will retire to your rooms. And Glorfindel, make sure Haldir rests. REALLY rests. And Haldir, do not make it…hard for my seneschal, will you?" Having said that, Lord Elrond shooed the laughing elves away, Erestor trailing behind.
The two lovers stayed quiet for a long time, not sure what to say. They had just been caught in a very embarrassing predicament. They were not sure what to say. Haldir wanted to apologize for getting his lover in trouble. He should not have seduced him. But he could not think of the appropriate words.
It was Glorfindel who finally broke the silence.
"You are hard again."
It was a while before the March Warden was able to sleep in his own rooms. Curled up against his lover. Both were naked, and very, very satisfied.
TBC
A/N: Thanks to all the reviewers. To Mainframe, thanks for the suggestion. This was what I had in mind, cept for the misunderstanding on Haldir's part. I couldn't fit it in, so I just went with the orig flow. But thank you very much for your review. As for Glorfindel being stupid, well, Erestor will agree with you a hundred percent. And I am glad I was able to get you to wince at the dream seq. I wasn't sure about it at first.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!