1/19/03

Hi there. I didn't have a dream this morning or yesterday, so I didn't write, but yesterday was a fairly animated day. Danielle and Naelia called to see if I wanted to go to the mall. Receiving phone calls is so hard for me, because my mom has to listen to tell them how I react, but that also leaves her room to insert some authority. They're defiant of their parents, but I couldn't be, even if I wanted to. To my surprise, my mother was overjoyed at the fact that two people, a little older than me, wanted to take me to the biggest mall in America, unsupervised. Then again, my mother is sort of silly. She's very young and she's sort of a party animal.

So, even if I didn't want to go, which wasn't the case, she told them I would. Mom drove me to Danielle's apartments, and I met them outside the door. We took the bus to the Mall of America, and Naelia sat alone so Danielle and I could sit together. This was my first time on a public transport bus without my mom and dad. I was kind of scared. When we got off the bus, we were in a damp, dark, bus station.

They told me they were going to go to Camp Snoopy, the indoor theme park in the Mall of America, to go play "Pump It Up", which is a big machine with dance steps that you're supposed to follow. It's apparently a good workout. No wonder those two are able to keep such nice figures. Naelia told Danielle and I that the mall was becoming a renowned hang out for pimps, in a joking matter, but, nonetheless, as this was my first time going there without my parents, that scared me. Naelia lifted the fear by telling us that her mom told her we had to go to the mall to play "Pump It Up" and not "Pimp It Up."

Danielle laughed and hit her when she said that. "Your family and your stupid puns!"

Danielle and Naelia are best friends, and I was afraid I'd feel like a third wheel, but they made me feel like part of the action. We reached a small arcade in Camp Snoopy, and right at the mouth of the entrance to the arcade, there was that huge machine. When I first saw it, I was stunned. I'd never seen a machine quite like that before. There was another one too, but it didn't seem to be as popular as Danielle and Naelia's favorite. I didn't understand how to play, but it was amazing to watch. Naelia was great! When Danielle stepped up, I was even more amazed! She danced to fast songs. I'm surprised she had the stamina to do it. When Naelia stepped up again, the caramel skinned girl went to go sit on a bench. I followed and sat next to her.

"Are you bored?" She asked. I shook my head. "Okay, good. Most people get bored just watching us play. Do you wanna try?" I shook my head, feeling scared to even step on the machine. She shrugged and said "okay."

Then she took out one of those books – the ones I told you she reads a lot in class. It was called "Daughter of the Blood" written by Anne Bishop. I was curious to know the plot of those books that she read over and over and over again. She could obviously see that curious look on my face, because she started telling me what it was about.

"This book is about this race of people with special powers. They're called the Blood, and they wear these jewels that hold excess power their bodies can't hold. A girl is born one day, a very special girl they call Witch. Most blood females are called witches, but this one is just Witch – with a capital W. She's like... the goddess of the blood, sort of. There's a holiday that celebrates her, called Winsol. The girl is supposed to be very ugly but she gets prettier as she grows up. Other Blood want to use her at a young age for her power, and there's these three guys that are trying to protect her. Are... you following me?"

I think I was staring. I didn't blink. I just nodded. I suppose I found it strange that she told me about all of this before telling probably more curious classmates. I just nodded. "Do you wanna sleep over? Naelia is."

My heart sank. I felt extreme joy. Nobody's ever asked that of me. It was like a dream, just being able to hang out with the two best friends outside of school, but this was like fantasy. I think they were making an effort to be my friends. I was so happy. I nodded, slowly.

She laughed. "You're cute!" She squealed. I smiled back at her, and then she hugged me. I jumped, because I wasn't expecting that, but I hugged back.

Eventually, after being at the mall for a few hours, we took the transit back to Danielle's apartment. Naelia called her mom and asked very simply to sleep over. She didn't really ask, actually. I assumed that they had lots of sleepovers.

"Mom. Hi. I'm at Danielle's..." Pause. "Yeah..." Pause. "Thanks, bye." Then she hung up.

Now it was my turn. Naelia tossed the cordless phone to me. I suddenly felt very bashful. I think, for a moment, they both completely forgot that I don't speak. Ever.

Danielle was the first to catch this. "Oh!"

She snatched the phone from my hands, and held it out, dial facing my direction. I quickly poked in my phone number, and Danielle held the phone to her ear. "Oh, hi. Uhm... Hi Mister Fort. This is Danielle, I'm one of Alysa's friends." Wow. "I was just wondering if she could sleep over...?" I'm not sure what happened, but Danielle giggled at something my dad said. "Yeah." More giggling. "Thanks. Here you go." She handed the phone to me."

My dad told me that my friends sounded very nice and he trusted me not to get into trouble. I hummed quietly into the phone to let him know I would comply. "Good." He said. "Stay warm tonight. I love you." I hummed again. I love you too, dad.

Both girls watched me. I don't think they've ever heard any of my voice. Not even a hum. How embarrassing that was. They must have been repulsed. I was afraid I'd have to

Tonight was certainly interesting. We stayed up late, watching TV and drinking lots of pop. They both got very silly, and there was a tickling match between them. They eventually came to tickle me, and I laughed out loud. Naelia smiled. "Ah, so that's how you get her to make some kind of noise. Guess my jokes aren't good enough, eh?" She joked.

Well, at about one o'clock in the morning, they both remembered my little religion experiment, and they both jokingly suggested some very strange things to me.

"Hey, tonight we could do a seance."

"Ehh... no. How about a nice spell?"

There was an awkward silence, then they both giggled softly.

"We've never done any of that." Naelia said.

Danielle reached a finger into the air. "I've done spells."

Naelia turned and gave her a weird look. "And you never told me?" Danielle just smiled.

"It's none of your business."

"B-but you just told me! Just now!" Naelia whined.

"I was talking to Alysa." Danielle said.

Naelia clapped. "Well, so, get the stuff! Sounds fun! Make me a witches brew!" Danielle rolled her eyes.

"I don't have enough ingredients for any of the spells I know how to do." She emphasized.

"Brew!" Naelia cheered.

"I don't do brew! Maybe potions and recipes every once in a while, but I do brew as often as you wear horns and poke people with a big devil fork!"

"Often then?"

We all laughed.

Danielle reached under her bed and pulled out a book, then handed it to me. I opened it up and looked through it. "We can't do any of those, but you can at least look. The types of spells Wiccans do aren't like in Halloween fairy tales. They're good luck charms and spells for success and health and prosperity. Things like that."

Sure enough, I found all of what she was talking about in the book. The ingredients for the spells were very strange. There were things like, "a tulip" and "dry reeds". Things you normally wouldn't find lying around the house. I paged through the book for hours. By the time I looked up, enough time had passed where Naelia had fallen asleep on the floor, fully clothed, and Danielle was pretty much half-asleep, but she was sitting up, and smiling at me, tiredly.

"Someday, I'll do a spell with you. We can do one to help you find your voice." She smiled. "I'm anxious to hear your speak, Alysa. Everyone is. You're sweet, and I imagine your voice is sweet. I've had dreams where you speak."

I was amazed. She really cared. My smile was so wide it already hurt, and I could feel my cheeks burning.

I do want to talk to you, but my voice isn't sweet. You'll be utterly disgusted if I do, but thank you for caring.

Alysa