A/N: Hey! Ok, I haven't posted in a LONGGGG time, I know! Please forgive me! I've been busy working on HPatSM and reading various other fanfics. Lol. And I was planning on writing last night, but my mom was at this thing late and I got back around midnight...there's something strangely fun about eating Wendy's at midnight. Eat great, even late. Ah. How sweet it is.
***
"Quickly, Captain! To the starboard bow!" Peter shouted, playfully giggling and wearing a huge plastic pirates' hat. Wendy rolled her eyes.
"Come on! We have a long day ahead of us. Jon, you sweep up the cabins, I'll make breakfast after I meet the other sailors."
As the sailors lined up single file, Wendy eyed them suspiciously. They did not look like a worthy crew, but it would have to do.
Hey, that rhymed,
Wendy thought. But there were more important matters at hand. She looked at the sailors. They looked at her.
"Um...Peter?" Wendy said, confused, "Why are all the sailors three feet tall and dressed as assorted woodland creatures?" Peter cleared his throat and cast a Look over at the "sailors"
"Please, Wendy! You'll hurt their feelings! At least be a bit quieter! Now, let's meet them, shall we? Come, Lost Boys! Say hello to Wendy!"
Each Lost Boy stepped out in turn and recited their names. When all was done, the little one dressed like a beaver that Wendy had seen earlier rushed out from the cabin.
"Sorry I'm late! Heh heh, I was helping Jon sweep, hee hee hee" he said manically, occasionally twitching his right eye. "Oh, it's the girl. Hello, girl. Heh heh, what's your name? heh heh heh"
"My name is Wendy." Wendy said suspiciously. She had the bizarre feeling that the Beaver boy was plotting something against her. She edged farther away from him and hesitantly ducked into the cabin.
"Um...Jon?" she inquired of her brother, "Does that Lost Boy dressed as a beaver seem a little...weird...to you?"
"Oh, Wendy!" Jon scolded, "Cut him some slack! He's been through a lot! He is a Lost Boy, after all. Poor kid. He's probably innerly tortured, a dove, just trying to be free..." Jon trailed off, wiping away a tear. Wendy just looked at him and then walked out of the cabin and back into the bright sunshine. She whipped out a pair of chic sunglasses and walked over to the edge of the boat, looking across the clouds.
"Hubba hubba!" a voice behind her made her jump. It was none other than the Beaver Boy.
"Who are you? What do you want from me?! What have I ever done to offend you?!" she shrilled, almost losing her balance and falling into dismal sky space. The little Beaver smirked at her and skipped away.
"Peter!" Wendy whispered fiercely as she found him near the hull. "The Beaver kid has it in for me! I can tell! He hates me because I'm a girl!"
"Oh, Wendy," Peter smiled broadly, "Don't worry! He couldn't hurt a fly! And besides, PETER POT! is here!" he said, striking a pose that involved his hands on his hips and his chest puffed out in a mock-brave stance. Wendy snorted and walked away.
She wandered around until she found Jon steering the boat.
"You do know that in Peter Pan none of this happens?" Wendy said, flipping through Jon's Peter Pan book, "In fact, I'd say the only thing in common are some characters. And even those are messed up."
"Don't ask me," Jon replied, concentrating on steering through the air, "Chica890 is the one who has issues with staying on plot. I mean, have you read the earlier chapters?"
***SOMEWHERE IN NEW JERSEY....***
Chica890 hung her head in shame.
***BACK SOMWHERE IN THE SKY ABOVE NEVER-NEVER-LAND***
"Whatever. The point is, Jon, that I came to see you in the first place because I think that that Lost Boy is a potential hazard to my well-being" Wendy recited. Jon just rolled his eyes and handed the steering wheel to her. They sailed on through the night, not quite sure where they were headed. But alas, it is adventure that drivith thy sailor spirit. Not the fact that drivith is not a word.
***
"OHH!" Captain Hook Jr. shouted, madly scrubbing his beautifully shiny long black hair.
"OHH, YES!" He cried, proudly sporting an Herbal Essences bottle. Strange topless men jumped out from the cabin (this wasn't as effective as when the shampoo-ee was a woman) and danced around the Captain.
"I've got it!" he sang again, twirling and flashing his brilliant smile, "I've got the URGE!"
"Herbal Essences! He's got the urge!" the random topless men sang, also smiling.
"Ohh, the urge! Now with...HAWOFENA!" the Captain screamed, jumping around madly and nearly falling overboard.
"HAAAAAWOFENA! HAWOFENA!" the topless men continued to chant. Suddenly the music stopped and the men strolled back to the cabin.
"HEEEEEERBAL ESSENCEEEEEEESSS!!! Ooooo!" Captain Hook Jr. sang, doing a wonderful twirl and landing gracefully, his sleek waist-long hair falling over his shoulders. He looked remarkably like Johnny Depp in PotC, only with better hair. It was hot.
***
Wendy sighed as she looked over the edge of the boat. Below her was a vast ocean of air and clouds. It was unnatural. She began to sing a song to the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
"I am stuck out on thiiiis shiiiip.
With a crazy-stockinged buffoon...
If only someone would come pleeeease review,
I wouldn't be here all aaafternoon,
For it sucks, sucks, sucks, and it smeeellls here!
And Chica890 works so hard!
I say PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE come review,
Or I'll eeeat sooooomme lard!"
And with that she slouched away to her bunk.
_______________________________________________________________________
A/N: Yea, had to cram a review song in there somewhere! Sorry if this chapter was short. I can never tell if it is or not. I'm eager to post the next chapter of HPatSM because I'm planning on starting the RPSA, but that's a different story. So, since I can't think of any witty comments right now, because I'm too busy sneezing my head off, I will now proceed to the Honorable Mentions:
:+:~*HONORABLE MENTIONS*~:+:
FunkyPinkFlamingo: Thank you for your never-ceasing reviews! Yay! I love constant reviewing! I can feel the self-confidence radiating off of my computer screen! WHOO HOO! *ahem* THANK YOU!
Padfoot~Dreamer: Ah, can't wait tomorrow. Lol, Miracle, the Grand Buffet, and Jason. Wonderful. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWING!!!! I keep making a mental note to go read the rest of your story and then I always remember I haven't posted in like 3 weeks or something. I will, don't worry. Right after I get a new folder, refill on looseleaf, put back together my math binder, get my midterm signed...what was I talking about again?
Black Triforce: In your review, at the end you said, "THANKS ISHI FOR TELLING ME 'BOUT THIS STORY!" *gasp*! Are you meaning to imply that someone..told you...about...MY STORY?!?! AHH!!! O..m..g...*wipes away a tear*, THEY LIKE ME! THEY REALLY LIKE ME!!! You totally made me day, dude. Dudette. Same dif'.
Ishi: I have no idea who you are but THANK YOU, THANK YOU for telling someone about my story! I feel so honored! I luv you!!!!
Zorrina: You are singly the only reviewer ever to suggest an idea. Whoa. I was so totally impressed! Peace! And incase you didn't notice, you totally sparked the Herbal Essences scene! That one goes out to you! MWA!
Yea. So a lot of people have also been commenting in their reviews something along the lines of "a little weird...". Honesty is good. But for the most of you who haven't met me, I'm weird. WEIRD IS COOL!!!! BWA HA HA!. Um. Ya. And that's all, folks. Did I hear that in a different story? OK, rephrase...And THAT'S the way the cookie crumbles! Bruce Almighty. Great movie.