Part 9
"Yes, sir." I shift my weight from one foot to the other and sigh, my eyes flitting to the clock again.
"Also, you need to make sure Jeffries down in Supply gets the order right this time. There seems to be a breakdown in communication somewhere between the Maintenance department and Supply."
"Right. Got it."
General Hammond leans back in his chair and gives me a long look. "Why don't you sit down, Jack?"
"That's okay, sir. I'm sure this is going to be a quick meeting."
He smiles slightly. "I'm aware that you've been stuck in meetings all afternoon, Colonel. I'll try to be brief."
"It's not that, sir," I say. He raises his eyebrows, and I add, "Well, yes, that is it, but not for the reasons you think. It's just that Daniel has been on his own pretty much all day, and that's... not good."
"I was under the impression that Dr. Jackson had regained full independence."
I nod quickly. "Yes, yes, mostly. He just needs a little contact here and there, and he's fine. But with all the meetings running late... he'll be waiting in my office, and by now, he'll be climbing the walls."
Hammond frowns, and I wince a little. I didn't mean to phrase it quite like that--I'm sure Daniel wouldn't thank me for giving the general the wrong impression.
"I see," he says slowly. "Is that why he hasn't been cleared for full active duty yet?"
"Pretty much."
Hammond leans forward, pushing the forms on his desk to one side. "Jack," he says seriously.
I sit down. "Sir."
"I can't keep SG-1 grounded forever."
I knew this was coming. "Yes, sir. I understand that."
"I would much rather have Dr. Jackson back on the team than try to replace him."
"I feel the same way," I tell him.
"I'm sure you do." He pauses and leans back, tapping his fingers on the desk. "How is his therapy progressing?"
"You'd have to ask the therapist," I say neutrally.
"I'm asking you."
Sharp guy, George. "Yes, well... he's improving," I hedge. "You've seen him yourself, sir. He's far better than he was."
He nods. "Yes, I know. I have spoken with him, and I read his report on the mission. He glazed over a few of the... more unpleasant details," and we both know he's talking about the rape, "but it was essentially complete. His work here on the base has been up to its usual excellent standards, and his behavior seems completely normal. You're saying he still has a dependence on contact?"
"Just a little," I say. "He's pushing it further every day, but Dave says... uh, that is, Dr. Nelson, he says that being able to stretch it isn't good enough. As long as Daniel still wants it, as long as the craving is there, then the addiction is still present."
"That seems a bit strict."
"That's what I said," I agree. "I mean, I still crave a cigarette sometimes, so I guess I still have the addiction, but I haven't smoked in years. And really... wanting someone to touch you occasionally... it doesn't seem that unreasonable, sir."
"No, it doesn't." He digests that for a minute, and then nods to himself. "Maybe I should discuss this with Dr. Nelson and find out exactly what his reasons are for keeping Dr. Jackson grounded."
"That sounds good. Ah, in the meantime, though..."
He waves a hand at me. "Go, Jack. The rest of this can wait."
"Yes, sir. Thank you." And I'm gone, his 'you're welcome' trailing after me from halfway down the hall.
Office is empty when I get there, Daniel's books and rocks and laptop strewn about like he just stepped out for a moment. I blink stupidly at the room for a few minutes, until I see the post-it note left for me. Not on my computer screen, where I'd probably never notice it, but on the phone. Which, of course, I would have been using to call the rest of the team and ask if they'd seen him.
I don't know if it's nice to be known so well, or a bit depressing to be so predictable.
'Jack,' the note says. 'Gone to Sam's lab.'
Well, of course. When I didn't come back and the need to be touched started getting out of control, of course he'd look to the rest of the team for help. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only one trying to guide him through this recovery.
Sure enough, he's in Carter's lab, both of them bent over the guts of some machine scattered across one of the tables. Carter isn't touching him, but I figure they did that already and got it out of the way, and then he got distracted by her latest... thing.
"Daniel."
He turns, a wide smile spreading across his face. I'm next to him in a second, a hand going to the back of his neck and pulling him in for a quick hug.
"Jack," he says, sounding a bit bemused. "Nice to see you too."
Carter is smiling at me and I find myself ducking a little. There's no reason to be embarrassed--medically necessary, remember? Hugging Daniel is like giving him his allergy pills. It's preventative medicine.
"I just figured... the meetings ran late, and I thought you'd be..."
Daniel blinks at me and then his mouth falls open. "Late? You were late?"
"Sure," I say, frowning at him. "Isn't that why you came down here? To... um... so Carter could help you out?"
"Actually, sir, I called Daniel and asked him to come down. I found some writing on the inside of this device when I took it apart and I wanted to see if he recognized it."
Daniel has this little smile on his face that keeps trying to get bigger. I look back and forth between the two of them, and then at my watch. "It's been all day," I tell him. "And a long day at that. Ten hours, easy."
Daniel shrugs. "Well, Sam did touch me when I came in, so it was actually only about nine and a half."
"But you didn't come here just because you needed the contact," Carter says, beaming at him. "It was incidental, and in fact, I was the one who initiated it. You were fine."
His smile gets a little bigger, and then he reins it in, biting his lips together. "Well... I was distracted by the writing you were showing me. If I had been thinking about how long it was since... you know... things might have been different."
"But you weren't thinking about it." I'm grinning now, too. I can't seem to help it. "That's the whole point, Daniel, is that you weren't thinking about it. You didn't need it."
"I... I didn't?" He blinks several times and takes a step back. "I didn't. That's... wow, Jack... does that mean what I think it means?"
Carter is still shining at us, looking like she wants to give Daniel a kiss just for the hell of it, but Daniel actually looks a little sad. He's happy, of course, for the most part. So am I. Of course. But... all those times I got to hug him and touch him at work and get away with it because he had a legitimate reason for needing it... I guess that's over.
"We don't have to stop," I blurt suddenly, and they stare at me.
"What?" Daniel asks.
"Um... I mean... crap, I don't know, Daniel. Never mind."
"No, no, wait," he says, pinning me in place with one finger on my chest. "You said we don't have to stop. Stop what?"
I cast an uncomfortable look at Carter and she takes pity on me. "I think the Colonel means that we don't have to stop touching you, Daniel. I assume you still feel more comfortable when you have contact with someone?"
"Yes..." he says slowly, drawing out the word. "But it's not necessary."
"Which is good," I say. "It means that you should be cleared for off-world duty, and that's good. I'm just saying that when we're here on base... or hell, even on a mission, you'd probably work best if you were... comfortable. It, uh... efficiency, and all that. Get more done. So we don't have to stop."
Daniel's smile is threatening to become very soft, and his eyes are already there. I clear my throat and stuff my hands in my pockets, wishing I had a yo-yo or something to play with.
"Ah," he says. "You're suggesting that the team provide ideal working conditions for me in order to improve the quality of the work done, both here and on missions. That sounds reasonable."
"Yeah!" I grab at that one with both hands. It sounds so much better when he says it. "Like that. That's what I'm saying."
"Sounds like a good idea, sir," Carter says. She keeps bouncing up onto her toes and then dropping back, her expression fiercely controlled.
"Something funny, Carter?"
"No, sir. Not at all."
Uh-huh.
"Daniel. It's late. You about done here?"
He glances at Carter and she casts a reluctant look over her scattered bits of metal, but she knows when to bow to the wishes of a superior officer. "This can wait," she says.
"Okay," Daniel says easily. "I've got an appointment with Dave first thing tomorrow, but I'll be by afterward to finish this, all right?"
Carter nods. "Sure. How is that going, by the way?"
"Oh, you know." Daniel pats the air meaningfully, rolling his eyes. "It's therapy. He's better than Mackenzie, at least."
"Yes, well, it would be hard to be worse, wouldn't it?"
Daniel grins at her. "Yeah. I'm down to just seeing him once a week now, though, which is nice. The daily appointments were sucking up a lot of my time."
I want to mention what the general said about discussing Daniel's duty status with Dave, but I'm thinking this isn't the time. It'll only start him worrying about Hammond replacing him again. He accomplished something today--I think I'll just let him ride it as long as he can.
Besides, I have other plans for using that good mood once we get home.
~~~
"Yes, sir." I shift my weight from one foot to the other and sigh, my eyes flitting to the clock again.
"Also, you need to make sure Jeffries down in Supply gets the order right this time. There seems to be a breakdown in communication somewhere between the Maintenance department and Supply."
"Right. Got it."
General Hammond leans back in his chair and gives me a long look. "Why don't you sit down, Jack?"
"That's okay, sir. I'm sure this is going to be a quick meeting."
He smiles slightly. "I'm aware that you've been stuck in meetings all afternoon, Colonel. I'll try to be brief."
"It's not that, sir," I say. He raises his eyebrows, and I add, "Well, yes, that is it, but not for the reasons you think. It's just that Daniel has been on his own pretty much all day, and that's... not good."
"I was under the impression that Dr. Jackson had regained full independence."
I nod quickly. "Yes, yes, mostly. He just needs a little contact here and there, and he's fine. But with all the meetings running late... he'll be waiting in my office, and by now, he'll be climbing the walls."
Hammond frowns, and I wince a little. I didn't mean to phrase it quite like that--I'm sure Daniel wouldn't thank me for giving the general the wrong impression.
"I see," he says slowly. "Is that why he hasn't been cleared for full active duty yet?"
"Pretty much."
Hammond leans forward, pushing the forms on his desk to one side. "Jack," he says seriously.
I sit down. "Sir."
"I can't keep SG-1 grounded forever."
I knew this was coming. "Yes, sir. I understand that."
"I would much rather have Dr. Jackson back on the team than try to replace him."
"I feel the same way," I tell him.
"I'm sure you do." He pauses and leans back, tapping his fingers on the desk. "How is his therapy progressing?"
"You'd have to ask the therapist," I say neutrally.
"I'm asking you."
Sharp guy, George. "Yes, well... he's improving," I hedge. "You've seen him yourself, sir. He's far better than he was."
He nods. "Yes, I know. I have spoken with him, and I read his report on the mission. He glazed over a few of the... more unpleasant details," and we both know he's talking about the rape, "but it was essentially complete. His work here on the base has been up to its usual excellent standards, and his behavior seems completely normal. You're saying he still has a dependence on contact?"
"Just a little," I say. "He's pushing it further every day, but Dave says... uh, that is, Dr. Nelson, he says that being able to stretch it isn't good enough. As long as Daniel still wants it, as long as the craving is there, then the addiction is still present."
"That seems a bit strict."
"That's what I said," I agree. "I mean, I still crave a cigarette sometimes, so I guess I still have the addiction, but I haven't smoked in years. And really... wanting someone to touch you occasionally... it doesn't seem that unreasonable, sir."
"No, it doesn't." He digests that for a minute, and then nods to himself. "Maybe I should discuss this with Dr. Nelson and find out exactly what his reasons are for keeping Dr. Jackson grounded."
"That sounds good. Ah, in the meantime, though..."
He waves a hand at me. "Go, Jack. The rest of this can wait."
"Yes, sir. Thank you." And I'm gone, his 'you're welcome' trailing after me from halfway down the hall.
Office is empty when I get there, Daniel's books and rocks and laptop strewn about like he just stepped out for a moment. I blink stupidly at the room for a few minutes, until I see the post-it note left for me. Not on my computer screen, where I'd probably never notice it, but on the phone. Which, of course, I would have been using to call the rest of the team and ask if they'd seen him.
I don't know if it's nice to be known so well, or a bit depressing to be so predictable.
'Jack,' the note says. 'Gone to Sam's lab.'
Well, of course. When I didn't come back and the need to be touched started getting out of control, of course he'd look to the rest of the team for help. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only one trying to guide him through this recovery.
Sure enough, he's in Carter's lab, both of them bent over the guts of some machine scattered across one of the tables. Carter isn't touching him, but I figure they did that already and got it out of the way, and then he got distracted by her latest... thing.
"Daniel."
He turns, a wide smile spreading across his face. I'm next to him in a second, a hand going to the back of his neck and pulling him in for a quick hug.
"Jack," he says, sounding a bit bemused. "Nice to see you too."
Carter is smiling at me and I find myself ducking a little. There's no reason to be embarrassed--medically necessary, remember? Hugging Daniel is like giving him his allergy pills. It's preventative medicine.
"I just figured... the meetings ran late, and I thought you'd be..."
Daniel blinks at me and then his mouth falls open. "Late? You were late?"
"Sure," I say, frowning at him. "Isn't that why you came down here? To... um... so Carter could help you out?"
"Actually, sir, I called Daniel and asked him to come down. I found some writing on the inside of this device when I took it apart and I wanted to see if he recognized it."
Daniel has this little smile on his face that keeps trying to get bigger. I look back and forth between the two of them, and then at my watch. "It's been all day," I tell him. "And a long day at that. Ten hours, easy."
Daniel shrugs. "Well, Sam did touch me when I came in, so it was actually only about nine and a half."
"But you didn't come here just because you needed the contact," Carter says, beaming at him. "It was incidental, and in fact, I was the one who initiated it. You were fine."
His smile gets a little bigger, and then he reins it in, biting his lips together. "Well... I was distracted by the writing you were showing me. If I had been thinking about how long it was since... you know... things might have been different."
"But you weren't thinking about it." I'm grinning now, too. I can't seem to help it. "That's the whole point, Daniel, is that you weren't thinking about it. You didn't need it."
"I... I didn't?" He blinks several times and takes a step back. "I didn't. That's... wow, Jack... does that mean what I think it means?"
Carter is still shining at us, looking like she wants to give Daniel a kiss just for the hell of it, but Daniel actually looks a little sad. He's happy, of course, for the most part. So am I. Of course. But... all those times I got to hug him and touch him at work and get away with it because he had a legitimate reason for needing it... I guess that's over.
"We don't have to stop," I blurt suddenly, and they stare at me.
"What?" Daniel asks.
"Um... I mean... crap, I don't know, Daniel. Never mind."
"No, no, wait," he says, pinning me in place with one finger on my chest. "You said we don't have to stop. Stop what?"
I cast an uncomfortable look at Carter and she takes pity on me. "I think the Colonel means that we don't have to stop touching you, Daniel. I assume you still feel more comfortable when you have contact with someone?"
"Yes..." he says slowly, drawing out the word. "But it's not necessary."
"Which is good," I say. "It means that you should be cleared for off-world duty, and that's good. I'm just saying that when we're here on base... or hell, even on a mission, you'd probably work best if you were... comfortable. It, uh... efficiency, and all that. Get more done. So we don't have to stop."
Daniel's smile is threatening to become very soft, and his eyes are already there. I clear my throat and stuff my hands in my pockets, wishing I had a yo-yo or something to play with.
"Ah," he says. "You're suggesting that the team provide ideal working conditions for me in order to improve the quality of the work done, both here and on missions. That sounds reasonable."
"Yeah!" I grab at that one with both hands. It sounds so much better when he says it. "Like that. That's what I'm saying."
"Sounds like a good idea, sir," Carter says. She keeps bouncing up onto her toes and then dropping back, her expression fiercely controlled.
"Something funny, Carter?"
"No, sir. Not at all."
Uh-huh.
"Daniel. It's late. You about done here?"
He glances at Carter and she casts a reluctant look over her scattered bits of metal, but she knows when to bow to the wishes of a superior officer. "This can wait," she says.
"Okay," Daniel says easily. "I've got an appointment with Dave first thing tomorrow, but I'll be by afterward to finish this, all right?"
Carter nods. "Sure. How is that going, by the way?"
"Oh, you know." Daniel pats the air meaningfully, rolling his eyes. "It's therapy. He's better than Mackenzie, at least."
"Yes, well, it would be hard to be worse, wouldn't it?"
Daniel grins at her. "Yeah. I'm down to just seeing him once a week now, though, which is nice. The daily appointments were sucking up a lot of my time."
I want to mention what the general said about discussing Daniel's duty status with Dave, but I'm thinking this isn't the time. It'll only start him worrying about Hammond replacing him again. He accomplished something today--I think I'll just let him ride it as long as he can.
Besides, I have other plans for using that good mood once we get home.
~~~