Sano's Worst Nightmare: A Rurouni Kenshin Parody

When Sano's friend Katsu, is captured by a strange group who call themselves the "Ruffians," will Sanosuke be able to face his worst nightmares of trains and cameras?

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing... even this box I'm living in is on loan from U-haul... No, just kidding about the box thing, but not the owning nothing thing. Eh, never mind. Just read, don't sue....

[Takes place after all the Shishio stuff...]

Chapter 1: The bomb eater

So it was one of those bright and sunny days in Japan when nothing bad seems to be be happening. Only problem was, something bad was happening... well not bad per se. More like abnormal...

So Katsu (AKA Tsunan Tsukioka), was in his dwelling writing another story for his newspaper against all those corrupt government officials and their conspiracies. Basically, he was minding his own business, writing merrily along... But when he looked up, he realized he was surrounded by idiots... I mean ruffians. (Might as well be the same thing.)

But then that's what they were... Ruffians. Some strange group of big ugly men with their symbol on the back of their shirts. It was the Japanese character for: Ruffian.

(And if no such character exists, just imagine it because I am no where near fluent in Japanese and am just trying to write a story here for the lack of anything better to do so get off my back and go on with the story, ok? Now that's what I call a run on sentence. Anyway. On with the story...)

"Can I help you?" Katsu said calmly.

"Actually you can." One said banging his fist into the palm of his hand. "Today is your lucky day. We were looking for someone to beat up for the lack of anything better to do. And you're it."

Katsu, never taking his eyes off them, reached under his desk slowly. "Well I wouldn't do that, you know."

"And why not?" Their supposed leader challenged. His groupies chuckled.

"What if I told you, I'm the Battousai?" He said darkly.

That stopped them from laughing.

"That Battousai?" One asked.

"The Boss might be happy to hear that. I heard he's been looking for him."

"And if we bring him back, we get a raise! Get him!" The leader said, but Katsu had jumped out of his chair, pushed the desk forward, and lit a match. Lighting the fuse on a bomb he was holding in his hand, he threw it into their midst.

"Bah!" One cried. Another picked it up and put it in his mouth. The fuse went out and he swallowed.

Katsu looked on in awe. Then in shock. Then in awe again. Then after looking in awe/shock/awe, he grabbed a bunch more bombs, lit them, and threw them at the bomb eater.

"Ah! Bombs!" One cried.

"Don't worry." The bomb eater said and took a chomp out of a bomb. Gun powder poofed around him and a fuse flew to the floor making a loud pop. He caught all the other bombs and licked them one by one before they could go off. Then smiling, he dropped them onto the floor and patted his belly.

Katsu just looked on in astonishment, but grabbed two more bombs.

"Heh, your bombs are no match for me." The bomb eater guy said and they all crept closer to the poor cornered artist gone underground newspaper writer and part time bomb maker. He was like a cornered animal stuck against the wall of his office/dwelling. But being the beloved bomb guy we all know and love (or at least I do), he wasn't going out without a bang.

"Sano..." He thought and lit both bombs. One he threw behind the crowd and the other he threw through the roof. An explosion behind them blew out part of the door and then an explosion could be heard outside overhead. Obviously, bomb eater didn't get to these bombs fast enough, but things look grim for our bad boy's friend, Katsuhiro.

~

Next chapter: What exactly does Sano find when he visits Katsu's blown up mansion... I mean dwelling... And just where exactly is this place called "Moesville?" Find out... next chapter.

(I feel my ignorance may be shown through this story when it comes to the whole Kenshin universe. *sigh.* Correct me if you must, but be nice about it if you will.)

Oh yeah, I love the bomb guy. The bomb guy is da bomb! He's mine! But I'm willing the share. Katsu cuddles for all!

^_^

Review. Kenshin demands it. Not really but whatever... bye.